23, that is almost 25 which is almost half way to thirty

Yep, as of yesterday, I am officially the big 2-3. I know it is still really young. But I can't help feel like the past 5 years have gone by really quickly. At least today I was told I looked like a baby by one of the tenants of the building I work at.

My Godson, "sent" me a birthday card and I got it today. It is cute. There is a bunch of scribbles and my friend wrote next to it, "A Victor Francis original." Awww, so cute.

For those interested, for my birthday, I sat and watched my Arrested Development and am wallowing in the fact that it is being cancelled.

I wish it would stop snowing

It is not stopping. It feels like it has been snowing for days in a row. I always feel like it is too early in the winter season for it to be snowing, but it is December 8th. I guess that is late enough.

When I moved to Milwaukee, I was secretly hoping that it was going to be a mild winter. I have a long way to drive from my apartment to work, and I hate driving in rain and/or snow.

I think someone stole my hubcaps off my car. I am not mad, I just think it is funny. I have a standard 4-door 95 ford Taurus. I didn't put any special hubcaps on there. What is the use of them anyway. The only thing I don't like, is it looks ugly without it.

Packers are good at sucking and I am one sensitive baby

The Green Bay Packers are now 2-10. Meaning 2 wins and 10 loses. Holy crap. What a bunch of losers, literally. I can't even watch the games anymore because it is so depressing. Whenever they do post-game interviews with Brett Favre, I want to cry. He looks like he is always on the verge of tears. At least he can be a big boy about it and not blame others and admit that everyone is at fault.

I was watching Extreme Makeover: Household edition, and I was brought to tears. I mean, sobbing like a little baby tears. This was within the first 10 minutes of the show. It featured a young father (28ish) who had 3 young girls (6ish, 2ish and a baby). The girls' mother had just passed away a few months before. When the "crew" came to build a new house, they met the family to talk about their situation. When talking about the mother the 6 year-old's eyes started to water and then one of the host pointed it out and that sent the little girl to cry out loud. That's when I started. I can't imagine losing my mother now, as a 22 year-old let alone at the age of 6. That little girl is so cute, but you know that there is a lot of hurt in her. She had to grow up fast. A good thing about the show, is that they provided resources on where to go if you need grief counseling for not only adults, but kids as well.

Oprah...you just earned some coolness points

Oprah on David Letterman, asking about the basket of books she sent David's son, asked him what his favorite book was. She said her favorite is Love You Forever. Holla! I love that book. My whole family loves that book. Whenever someone has a baby shower, I buy that book. People, if you don't know this book, buy it! I am not even telling you to check it out or borrow it from the library, I am telling you that you must own it. If you have a heart, you will love this book.

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, My baby you'll be."

Turkey Madness Weekend

Hey there people. Thanksgiving weekend has just passed, so I figure that it is time to update all my loyal readers on my going-ons. I got off work a little early (wooooo) so this meant I didn't have to speed to the UPS store to pick up my replacement phone. Thanksgiving itself was uneventful. My relatives did make me cry, because they like to remind me every year that I am single, but not worry because, "I will find the right man soon." Ugh. I wish my sister wasn't practically engaged to her boyfriend, because I would have no problem with my relatives wondering about my love life, because there would be no comparison. I am a sad lonely single person, get used to it, Aunt Carol.

Later on in the weekend, I went to see Rent, the movie. It was good but not outstanding. Rosario Dawson surprised me with her voice. My favorite scene is what they did with the Tango Maureen. I just love to watch people dance the tango. I wish I could dance.

I also went to this really skeezy bar back in my hometown. It was filled with 30-40 something year-olds who were wearing clothes that a teenager would wear to try to look older, but only they come off looking slutty. Everyone looked like meth-heads. I wanted out immediately. It just reminded me why I don't like my hometown.

Funniest thing said this weekend: Having a conversation with my family about an on-line quiz I took about selling out. My brother said, "I would sleep with someone for $20.........ANYONE." Just the way he said it, Hilarious. My sister's boyfriend then said, "I bet you would pay $20 for sex." Ah, mocking others? Welcome to the family.

FREAKIN' A

I believe that my cellphone is missing. I have been searching for a day now and still can't find it. My apartment, my car, my office. No where to be found. I think it might have been stolen, but I have no idea when or how or who. I am seriously drawing a blank. Off to Sprint I go to find out what can be done.

To all you spam blog responders

It is very mean to make me think that people are actually reading my blog. You start off your comment saying: "Nice Blog!" and then you go into whatever site you are promoting. It makes me sad. I cannot stand the false hope, when I put my mouse clicker of the "1 comment" and get nothing but disappointment.

This one is good too

You Are Old Fashioned Undies! You're conservative and a bit unsure of your sexy-ness. Unleash that tigress a little more - she's dying to get out. Men think you're a nice girl, a little too nice to date. Go wild with a sexy g-string... and totally up your confidence! What Kind of Panties Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Ok, I am done with the quizzes now.

say what?

I know CM would like this one.

Doesn't Really sound like me...

Your Birthdate: December 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame. You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them. Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing. You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship. Your strength: Your charm Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics Your power color: Indigo Your power symbol: Four leaf clover Your power month: December

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Manipulative? Charming? Affectionate? And I know I cannot get whatever I want. The thing about commitment seems about right.

My first ever...

Speeding ticket.

That's right. For the first time in my life I was not only pulled over, but I got my self a speeding ticket. When the police officer pulled me over, he did not even do the normal, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" thing. No, instead he said something like, "You were clocked at 85 mph. A citation will be given today. Please stay in your car, with the headlights on for safety purposes." I was sitting in my car dumbfounded, for three reasons. First, he didn't let me utter one word. Second, I could not believe I was going 85 mph. When I saw the lights, I looked down and I was going 75mph. Third, I was never even pulled over before, and the ticket was $260 and 6 points!

Now let me tell you why I was going 75mph (in a 65mph zone). Going at about 70mph, I was passing a car that was in the right lane, when a car came zooming up behind me. I picked up the speed a bit because he was riding me. All of a sudden the car to my right sped up so I couldn't pass her/him. I tried to remain the same speed. That's when all three of us passed the police car. The other two cars drastically changed their speeds, whereas I did not (I was always under the assumption that it was unsafe to change speeds that quickly).

So, I am going to try and contest the ticket. What do you think? I am already sure I cannot get it taken away completely, but do I have a shot at least of it being reduced? I mean come on....$260!!! And now I am on the Wisconsin Circuit Court Appeals website. I have a record, hehe.

I was headed home to Sheboygan while I was pulled over. My teenage cousin had her baby. I pretty much predicted it. I called my mom last Thursday asking if anyone had seen her in a while and that someone should call/see her. Later that day my mom called to let me know that my cousin was in labor. The baby was three weeks early, so I wasn't subconsciously guesstimating. I am totally psychic. The baby is soooooo tiny. It is definitely the tiniest baby I saw, but then again mostly the babies I see are relatives and my family has big-ass babies. The baby's name is Alana, but pronounced A-lay-na (not A-lah-na like one would think). Blame it on teenage stupidity.

Old Lady

I went home to switch cars with my mom. I brought my newest hobby with me, which is knitting. I was sitting there in my green sweater, knitting telling her how I joined a bowling league. She said I was turning into an old woman and I was doing "Wisconsin" things. Holla.

So let me tell you why I had to switch cars. The car I borrowed from my mom (because the other car needed to get fixed because it was making loud noises as I drove) has problems starting. On special occasions, specifically the occasions I want to go somewhere special, the car would decide not to start. I have a special connection with cars. The connection is not a positive one, it is more negative, in the sense that cars hate me. Lets hope the car problems seize and desist for awhile.

It's official, for about the fourth time.

My wiscmail account has finally closed. I am no longer considered a student at UW. What am I to do? Oh, maybe I can use those four other email accounts I have.

RIP hmlafave@wisc.edu

"Saying 'I'm Sorry' is the same as saying 'I apologize.' Except at a funeral." -Demetri Martin

It's a tad nippy

I finally turned my thermostat up to about 65 degrees. Before today, I didn't even turn it on. Living in an apartment complex, you are almost blanketed with the other's heat. Maybe I am just cold because I am starting to feel sick. I am usually a true Wisconsinite in that I can handle extreme weather changes, because weather can change at a drop of a hat here.

I have been eating grilled cheese sandwiches like a maniac. I actually went through a loaf of bread on my own, with making them. Maybe because they are cheap and easy to make, or maybe because I am going through a nostalgic part of my life, but I seriously cannot get enough of them.

So, I started a profile with myspace. I don't really know why I did, maybe because I was bored and had nothing else to do. (Really not having cable has increased my internet time by 2000, this was a completely random number by the way). Anywho, in my people search I came across the profile of Jason Hammel, who is the drummer for Mates of State. In it, he put down his religious affiliation as Scientology. I literally groaned when I read it. As bad as it may sound, "my opinion of someone goes down once I find out they are a Scientologist." I quote this, because I highly believe that this phrase is taken word for word from a conversation I have had with CM, who was the one originated it. (I want to give credit where credit is due.) I almost hate myself for saying that, because I believe that people should practice whatever religion they want without criticism, but then I remember how crazy Scientology is. Oh crap...are they going to come after me and sue now?

Speaking of crazy, those wacky Jacksons are up to it again. Janet Jackson, supposedly has a secret 18 year-old daughter from her first marriage. Now if this is true, I have to give mad props to Janet for keeping yet another major thing a secret for so long (the first being her second marriage). What I find weird, is the alleged daughter's name is the same as Janet's second husband. Hmmm......

These posts are actually about things that happened awhile ago but I was too busy, or tired to write about them at the time...

Alright...So two Mondays ago, I woke up in the morning. Performed my normal routine, a little slowly, unfortunately. I tried making myself some coffee with my own coffee-maker, but realize that I have lost my lid for the pot. This means that I have to press the little knob (that releases the coffee) thing manually since the lid would have done it for me, if I had it. I get my coffee into my travel mug successfully, but I can't find the lid to that. In my frantic search to find it, I knock over my mug....Coffee everywhere. Because I didn't want stains and the stench of coffee everywhere, I cleaned it up. So I grabbed my potato salad I had made for the office potluck (heh, I have office potlucks) and vanilla flavored liquid coffee creamer I bought especially for myself to use for my morning coffee, which I get from work. As I get to the car, IT WON'T START. I almost cry, but instead call AAA instead. The come 45 minutes later, which makes me about 45 minutes late for work. As I get to work I realize that I spilled the coffee creamer, all over my front seat. Oh wait, it's not done yet...I try to get the ignition to off, it won't go all the way. So I attempt to start the car again, nope...it's dead again. Lucky for me, this was the end of a pretty bad day. (For those who are wondering, I got the car to turn off all the way, and a co-worker drove me to an auto parts store to buy a new battery and now everything is swell).

Last week, I forget which day, I actually looked into the mirror and thought "Dang, I look good!" This is significant because rarely do I feel that I look good. I think it was my outfit which black and fitted from head to toe. It actually did slim me down. Whoever says that black is not slimming is crazy. My hair looked good too, because it was really sleek that day, length-wise it is getting long too (the ends are to my chesticles). I can't remember when it was this long I do know that it has been shorter than shoulder length since I was a senior in high school.

One of these guys I know once said that girls are only attracted to guys that are unattainable: AKA gay or has a girlfriend/fiancee/wife. I really disagree with this. However it is true it is unfortunate for me because the only guys that tell me I am beautiful/pretty/attractive/awesome fall in this category.

Saturday (which is October 22nd NATIONAL MAKE A DIFFERENCE DAY), Public Allies is having an Options Fair for high school students. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this doesn't go down as the worst Service Day project in all Public Allies history.

Just some random thoughts

I saw Clinton this morning on Today this morning and he was speaking about the people in New Orleans. I noticed that he was wearing Mardi Gras beads. I immediately thought in my head, with a childish giggle...oooOOOooo I wonder how he got those beads.

While I was on the phone at work (with a potential resource I could use to run a presentation) I asked her "So what exactly is it that you do do?" Once again childish giggle, but only inside my head...because I am mature.

I hate it this time of year. I am rarely outside, due in great part to school, or this year, work. So the result is, what little tan I did have, is slowly fading away. I usually end up getting this weird grayish color. Yeah, it's now slowly getting to that familiar grey color. I try to become very friendly with lotion around this time.

In the past two days it has been ungodly warm. In the 80's to be exact. Ummmm, it's October....in WISCONSIN! Not that I am sad about it, it just makes me mad because it's like a big old tease. I will be snapped back to reality when, according to what I believe I heard on the news this morning, it will be lightly snowing by the end of the week. Ah, only in Wisconsin.

Last night's episode of Law and Order SVU was pretty awesome. It was all about a phone call they can't trace coming from a little girl claiming to be sexually assaulted. The whole storyline (if I went into more detail and told all of it) was a little bit highly unlikely. But it still "had me on the edge of my seat." EW, I hate cliches like that but it is true. One major complaint: Where was Stabler? Did I miss this explanation? I miss the prettiness. SVU without Stabler is like a kiss without tongue. Acceptable but not great.

Did you ever notice that what you thought was funny two minutes ago, actually wasn't that funny? Along those lines, I realized that I am not as clever as I thought I was.

I am doing some hella promoting for Public Allies. Every non-profit that I meet through my placements, I mention that I am a Public Ally, and tell the non-profit that they too could have an Ally. I most say, I have been getting positive reactions.

Less than a year ago I was saying how I thought Neighborhood Watches don't work...and now I am trying to set one up for my placement. Hehe, lets see how it goes.

I am listing to them right now so it reminded me of this story. This band, in which I kind of knew the lead singer while in college, Big Big Furnace had this song called "All My Friends" or something like that. It is basically a list of names, song to music. I remember him (meaning the lead singer) telling me that some names were just people he met, but they happened to fit into the song. Heh, that would make people thinking the song was sweet think again.

I almost had a heart attack when I read this one for two reasons: it truly shocked/disgusted me, and I was shocked that I cared. Ok here it goes....Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are having a child together. That's right a little baby "TomKat." I thought Tom Cruise was allegedly sterile. It makes me sick. In the news they should just title it, "HEY! Look at us! Remember...we are seeing each other. Please let us be in the news again." Ah, I am a sucker for celebrity news.

What a peculiar night...

So Friday after our training day, or whatever you want to call it, some of my co-workers and I decided to go to a happy hour at some bar call Texture. One of the guys that comes in my car has a big pot of leftover eggs that he cooked as a snack for everyone. He sticks it in the trunk, thinking he will take it out before he leave each other. Once we get to the bar, we find out that not only do they have $3 martinis (our reason for going) but they have OPEN BAR for tap and rails. Holy crap. Now, I was DD, so it sucked for me but everyone else took full advantage of the deal. It was fun watching everyone getting tipsy. Anyway, everyone that came to the bar in my car started to leave with friends that they had called to join us. The guy with the eggs did not take them with him, because he was so drunk he failed to mention to me he was leaving. I spent the rest of the night talking with a boyfriend of one of my co-workers (who was awesome by the way and invited me to his going away party).

The next afternoon I took the eggs out of my trunk, because I didn't want them to fester. I was dumping them into my garbage, as I was throwing up from the smell. I was even nice enough to clean out the pot. I then called him to see if he wanted me to drop it off. He said yes and told me to meet him at a bar (it is 3ish). I met him and his friend there and had what was called a bloody beer (bloody mary mix with Blatz, I believe). While I was there I kept on looking at the bartender, swearing to God that he looked like the lead singer from The Promise Ring (now that I think about it, I don't know if there needs to be a "THE"). My co-worker invites me to a party that night and I leave.

We meet up again at the same bar later that night. I have CM with me. The party is above this cool antique shop and it is an awesome New York looking loft. The band (still don't know their name) was a surf rock band which I enjoyed a lot. The attendees were all rockabilly-esque and slightly older than me. CM and I stood out like sore-thumbs. For the first part of the party we mostly spoke to each other or to the guy that invited us.

(NOTE HERE: In one of my conversations with him, I ask him if he knew the name of the bartender at that bar. He said that he and his friend call him Cal, because of his hat. I tell him who I think he is. He makes a slight face, not a Promise Ring fan, but he knew the guy used to be in a band. Knowing the PR is from Milwaukee, I am convinced it is him).

As it got later into the night more people started to talk with us. There was the one guy that we swear was faking an Irish accent. There was one guy in the band that said something about us sitting in one spot by ourselves a lot OUCH! But the most awesome part of the night was when we met this guitar teacher who called us angels. This is the second time in a three weeks that someone called me an angel or angelic. My family and close friends would laugh at that. But what really won this guy over was when CM said she wanted to go to Vet School. Seriously...this guy fell in love. Luckily, we got CM out of the situation by leaving to a new destination.

Same guy that invited me there said that he and his friends were going to a new bar. He asked if it was ok if it was a lesbian bar. I said I didn't care. He said I would like it because everyone is really friendly there and it is really laid back. The second I step in there and ask the bartender, "Could I please get a water?", her immediate response is, "I don't know can you?" Without looking at me and walking by without stopping. I gave her an evil eye. I was in a bad mood from that point on and left soon after.

Overall good night. Good times. More stories for CM and Holland to tell everyone else to prove that we are not antisocial.

I'm Back!!!

Hey everybody. It's me...in Milwaukee. I started my "job" part of Public Allies last week Wednesday. Everything is going good. I am getting to know my fellow Allies better and they are all cool. I know there is more to talk about but I can't really think of anything of interest. I will be keeping more updates know that I finally have internet connection. Well, I am off to find something constructive to do. Until later.

Last night in Madison...

I am spending my last night in my apartment. Right now I am in the middle of packing and cleaning. I am just hoping that I can get it all done by tomorrow. This will probably be my last night of blogging for awhile, that is unless I can get online time whenever I am back in Sheboygan. I will be moving to Milwaukee by early September. Hopefully I will have enough money saved by then.

For the first time in my life (or however long I have had my own checking account) I have overdrawn. When I told my mom and sister, they asked what I spent my money on. I had to really sit back and think about that one. I did not and still do not know how I spent that much money. Perhaps it is rent, gas money (driving back and forth from Milwaukee and Madison isn't that cheap) and not to mention that 100 dollar parking ticket. Actually now that I think about it, there was more than one 100 dollar parking ticket (god damn those pesky HIDDEN disabled parking signs).

Do you ever notice that with a new transition in your life, you tend to think about loved ones that have past away. Is it just me? I have been thinking about my grandmother a lot lately. In the middle of the day, as I am researching apartments in Milwaukee, I am thinking about what my grandmother would think about my new job. Would she be nervous about me living in a "big" city by myself? I try not to tell my mom about my preoccupation with memories of my grandmother. She is superstitious and probably would see it as a bad sign.

Well, I am tired and there is still work to be done. Until next time...

Smart move Holland

So it was raining for about an hour, and an hour after it had stopped I decide it is good enough for me to walk to the mini-mart to pick up some much needed toilet paper. I am too lazy to find an umbrella but figure I won't need it anyway since the store is just around the (short) block. I make my purchase and as soon as I step outside it is down-pouring. It is a soak-you-in-a-second downpour. As soon as I get home, I am soaked through my jeans and t-shirt. I don't know what I was thinking.

One of the bad kids in my group told me that he told his dad about me. Apparently, his dad, who is "REALLY mad," wants to talk to me. Obviously this is suppose to scare me but I simply reply, "Good, I look forward to meeting him."

This weekend I went home to visit my family. The first night I am there my mom points to my always-sunblocked-layered-FRECKLED-shoulder and says, "I don't like that." (She is scared that I will get skin cancer because I have a lot of freckles but I protect my skin). As we were making frybread my mom semi-shouted at me (in that kind of "HOT!! HOT!!" way a mom yells to a one year old heading towards the oven) to get away from the hot oil because she was afraid I was going to burn myself (She just touched the oil with her finger minutes before). It is funny how moms will still treat you like your five even when you are an adult.

I must make a confession...I am the Phantom Dooker

ABC's Brat Camp, is probably the best programming on television right now. Nothing is better than watching a bunch of horrible kids spend 40 days in the wilderness, having to bury their poop in the ground. Makes me proud to be an American.

I got told today that I will be working with National church Residences. I am happy, because it was my second choice (of course I would have been happier with my first choice, but second is good). I just hope that I don't screw up like I am supposedly screwing up with my current job. I got my mid-term evaluation for my camp job and I got two checks for "needs improvement" for communicating with staff and being a team worker. This is all because of one instance in which I let my feelings get vented up about this one woman I work with. It's had to describe in words what exactly she does to me, but it can be summed up in saying that she makes me feel like an elementary-aged kid in front of my own group of kids. So I finally told her my feelings (in front of the site director) and I was told I was being "over emotional" and I was only acting out because I was letting my frustration towards my group of kids come out. Ah yah, that is exactly it...Only I know of a few other counselors who feel the exact same way towards that witch. I swear, the older I get, the worse I am getting at my jobs.

Funny story about one of the kids I work with: We were making poems about trees outside. One of the boys comes up and shows me his poems. It goes something like this: Trees are green, Trees are brown, It makes me sad, when they're cut down. Clever. I congratulate him on a good poem. I turn my back to help another student. Five minutes later I hear all the students encourage the boy with the poem to go (where at this point I don't know). I quickly turn around to stop him. He tells me he wants to read his poem to the people across the street. I look up at the direction he is pointing at and see people cutting down a tree. Ah, the innocence and passion of childhood.

Sinners are welcome

I went camping this weekend. I am a little red and a little bruised from the "white-water" rafting. I don't think it should be called rafting when you are pushing your boat off of rocks more than half of the time because the river is so low. I swear to god, next year I am not going rafting...Too much bad luck.

I have two interviews in the next two days for my Public Ally position. One is with Our Next Generation, a kind of youth mentorship program, and the other is with YWCA, setting up housing for low-income single mothers. I already had three interviews with Prevent Blindness Wisconsin, which sets up vision screening and follow-ups for children in school, Non-profit Management Fund, which helps fund and train for management in nonprofit organizations, and National church Residences, which also helps find housing for single low-income mothers. I am still not quite sure who I want to work with...They all seem like good choices. Going to go to bed now, I am super tired from this past weekend. Until later.

Happy Non-smoking bar day!!!

I didn't realize it, but I just so happened to go out on the same night as Madison's enactment of the non-smoking bar act. Personally, as a non-smoker, I am thrilled about it. However, I spent the entire night, in the outside area with all the smokers. Oh well, at least I didn't smell like smoke at the end of the night.

This weekend was independence Day weekend. I went back to my hometown of Sheboygan. It was nice to spend time with them, especially since I rarely get to see them, and probably will be seeing a lot less of them with my new job and its rigorous hours. At the fireworks my little 19 month old cousin sat behind me in her stroller. It was her very first fireworks. She was so cute sitting there with her big brown eyes entranced with the colors and saying, "Uh-oh," every time a big firework went off.

Fare warning if you and your children are ever in the presence of my aunt...She will encourage them to run. At the fireworks we positioned ourselves in a perfect position to watch the fireworks, or so we thought. Turns out they were being launch about 100 yards to the left of where we were sitting. Right when they went off we noticed that we had a big tree, which was on top of a big hill, in our way. My aunt decides to yell out, "KIDS RUN!!!." So all of my little cousins and friends' kids go bolting to a new position. All the kids' parents go running after them and our whole group of 30 split up into three different groups. I was left behind with my mom and a few other people. I said that I didn't mind not seeing the fireworks and stayed behind the tree for a minute or two, but then moved to another position where I could see better. I mean, come on...You got to love fireworks.

Counseling fellow counselors

So I am a summer camp counselor to a group of fifth graders. My co-workers range in age of 18-50ish. The 50ish woman is special education assistant during the school year and does this as a summer job. One of the 18-year olds, I feel like sometimes I am watching over her as well as my own kids. I have to stop her from talking to my kids while I am trying to lead them on to the next activity. And she also plays "inappropriate" songs in front of the kids. But then she criticizes me for not dancing in front of the kids. I whipped out the running man, but that is all I am going to do.

Today we played kickball. This, along with dodgeball, were the two sports I hated to play in school. Those types of balls always scared the crap out of me. They still do. I played along with the kids, placing myself out in right field. The first kid up kicked it right towards me. All I was thinking was how I needed to catch it because the kids already thought I was a loser. And what do you know...I caught it. Ahhh...redemption for all those times I didn't catch it as a kid. Another time the ball dropped right in front of me and I threw it in at a kid running in to third. I managed to aim it right at him and also not whipping it too hard to hurt him (because I am still an adult and he still is a kid).

However reality hit back when it was my turn to kick and I didn't even get it off the ground or anywhere near the outfield. The kids on my team said, "Holland, you suck." I gave them that, 'you should know better than to use negative language at camp' look and they flashed that 'whoops, sorry' look. Whatever, some kids think I am awesome because I know how to make bubble letters and lanyards (or however you spell it).

A summary of the past few days

Thursday night: Went to go see Batman Begins. Katie Holmes nearly made this movie horrible. Christian Bale as Batman was not great...However as Bruce Wayne he was good. All the other actors did a great job especially Cillian Murphy as Dr. Crane/Scarecrow. Surprisingly a little scary compared to what one would imagine a live action movie would do to the character.

Friday night: Went to go see Bewitched. I was really surprised with the chemistry between Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell. I still don't like Nicole Kidman but thought that it was good overall. Plus, Will Ferrell surprisingly plays a good romantic male lead without be too goofy.

Saturday: Mike and Alyssa's wedding. I got all teary eyed when I saw Alyssa walk down the aisle. The reception was fun but it was awkward seeing all those people from high school. I didn't say hello to anyone and no one said hello to me. I should have just gotten drunk instead of remaining sober.

I also saw my pregnant cousin for the first time. I almost cried when she showed me her stomach (I asked to see it). The only thing that made me calm down a little bit was seeing that she was taking responsibility now and also that her boyfriend is helping in any way he can. Like my mom says, what's done is done. Now we just have to deal and make sure that she and her baby are healthy.

Here's to a fresh new week: May the attitude of those fifth graders and the snottiness of my B&B coworkers lessen.

Mixed bag of news

So let's start with the good news. I was accepted into Public Allies. This means I will be living in Milwaukee by September and working over 40 hours a week. I seriously cannot wait. When can a person say they are excited about working over 40 hours a week? Hardly ever. Plus it will be the first time in my life that I am living completely by myself. Scary, but I can't wait.

Should a 14 year-old be pregnant? No. Tell my cousin this, she seems to not have gotten the memo. The rule is you need at least a little experience of high school before getting knocked up. Nothing can explain my disappointment and sadness right now, not only for her but for that poor child she is carrying.

Summer camp starts tomorrow. I will be leading a group of fifth graders. That is going to be so different from the group of second graders I lead last year. So much more attitude and less enthusiasm for the activities. I remember when I was in fifth grade and I was way too cool for everything. I am most likely going to end up with little me-s. Good grief.

What is with this Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes engagement? If that isn't a farce then I guess I have never seen "true love."

Job number two started today

I have never worked two jobs before. I feel a mixture of ambition and laziness for not having a career in which I wouldn't have to work two jobs to make ends meet. Anyway, this second job is the after-(summer) school program. I am a group leader of fifth graders. Yikes, to me that is a hard age because they are a bunch of know-it-alls at that age Hehe. I am just hoping that I can keep them occupied for 4 hours without boring them. But here is the real thing I am thinking about: MMmmmmm Money!!!!!

Oh, and while I was working at my other job, a plexiglass container fell on my foot, landing pointy side down. I now have a bruise on my foot. That's a first.

I think that almost a month ago it was close to 30 degrees

Madison is experiencing a heat wave. It is close 90 degrees, which for Wisconsin is horrendous, considering if it is that hot here, it is also humid. I can't stand it. The reason why I cannot stand it is because I have been driving all over the place for the past two days. My car's air conditioning doesn't seem to work to well, so I have to sit in a hot car on a hot day. Nothing like hot humid wind blowing in your face while your driving to an interview. I hope sweat soaked clothes impress employers.

p.s. I am getting so lonely living by myself. I think after the summer, I definitely need to find myself a roommate. I can't live by myself, I get too lonely.

My co-workers are from hell. That or my old high school.

I really do not like my new job. It is not the job itself, even though it entitles me to four hour shifts pawns fragrances to costumers, but the people I work with. The first thing that bugs me is that I have people that are 3 years younger than me telling me what to do. The second thing that bothers me is that they are fake, and force me to act the same way as them: pushy and chipper. A third thing that bothers me is that these people make me feel stupid. They do not do this is an outright manner but rather in a subtle, condescending way. Example: I was just told not to say "Is that everything?" at the cash register...When I do say it my co-worker is besides me laughing her head off (remember their are customers in line) and saying "You are so silly!" Don't worry, I flashed her that Evil Holland Eye. Another example: I had to dust and mop the floor one morning. Later on in the day a co-worker walked up to me and handed me a dust bunny and said, "you missed a spot." I swear, this place is an evil sorority.

Ha ha, I tricked everyone...

At my graduation, I was wearing a red stole that is given to American Indian graduates. Many people thought I was graduating with honors because the stole is similar to those wearing the honor stoles. The difference is that my stole is longer and has a Ho-Chunk design on it. Sorry, I am not that smart.

My last semester was my best semester. I got a 3.714 for the semester. I won't even say what my cumulative is because I already know many people that would personally cry over a 3.7 GPA for a semester, thinking it was horrible and my cumulative is lower than that. Whatever...I got a degree now and that is all that really matters.

And next to ride the coattails of the "graphic novels turned into movies" trend is...

There is a movie adaption of the graphic novel, V for Vendetta. I read this one for my comparative literature class and liked it a lot. Natalie Portman is playing one of the leads, Evey, in this one. Get this, Evey in the graphic novel, gets her head shaved by the other lead character, V. I just read that Natalie Portman actually got her head shaved for the part. I am definitely going to go see this one when it comes out. I hope it is as good as the book.

"ONCE A BADGER, ALWAYS A BADGER!"

So, I graduated. My parents came down to the ceremony. My sister and I sat by our friends Lina and David. It was nice to have a nice line up of Native students march to receive their diplomas. Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin gave the speech. I was not wowed by anything in the ceremony besides the part where I received my empty diploma cover. I was rushed off the stage while being told to hold up my diploma cover and smile. SNAP! There goes a picture I know I will look horrible in. Oh yeah, and the people that were on the stage were projected onto the scoreboard screen. Yikes, I am glad I didn't have to look at that. I still don't feel like a college graduate.

Enjoying the moment

As I sit here, writing my last term paper of my undergraduate year, I am definitely savoring every moment. I am giving myself extra breaks for snacks or web browsing time. You know why? Because I deserve it. Four years of sometimes less than adequate works deserves a pat on the back in my opinion. So far I am on page 8 of my 10 page paper and I am giving myself an extra long break. This may be my last 10 pager. If there is graduate school in my future, it is nothing but pages upon pages of writing, reading and I will be looking back on my undergraduate years with fond memories wishing that it could be that easy once again. Yes, I am taking in the moment.

On the brighter side, my summer blogs should be a good read. I am once again working for Madison School and Community Recreation. So the blogs should be filled with great stories from what the kids said and did and perhaps a sprinkingly of stories about drunken nights with co-workers and whatever friends remain in or visit the Madison area. Yes, CM and JR going to have the most alcohol infested summer they have ever had, if I have any say in it. Muhahahaha

Seriously Wisconsin weather, knock it off

Wisconsin weather is so great...For one day it will be 70's and beautiful and the very next day it will be in the low 30's and rainy. It just goes in cycles like that over and over again. Yes, even though it is May, we here in Wisconsin experience close to water freezing weather. Thanks for reading my complaints, now excuse me while I work on my 10 pager due tomorrow at 12 pm.

In the words of Stephanie Tanner....HOW RUDE!!!!

People in Madison are rude: the drivers, the "bums" on the street, the teaching assistants. Let me tell you why.
Drivers: On my way back from a meeting with my TAs, I almost got ran over by a guy getting out of a restaurant parking lot. He was looking only in the opposite direction for oncoming traffic, so he didn't see me coming. I didn't think he would turn because there was still oncoming traffic so I walked in front of his car. Half way through the driveway, he starts to go and nips me on the leg with his bumper. I banged my fist on his hood to get his attention. He apologized quickly and sped away.
Bum on street: walked by him twice in short time period, asked me twice if I had change. Told him the first time I didn't have any (which was the truth) but he didn't recognize me five minutes later and asked me again. Even my quasi-ADD attention span can recognize people in the time period. Ok, so this one isn't so rude.
Teaching assistant: While I was giving my speech on what causes crime and how to stop it, my TA was not looking at me and doodling in his notebook. I better get an A.

On another note, I feel like I really packed on the winter weight this year. I blame Atkins diet craze. Being the semi-non-conformist I am, I decided to, instead of following the trend, to carb-o-load. I never go a day without bread, pasta , potato, or sugars. This would be a little ok if I was active, but lets be honest here....I am the Queen of Coach Potatoes so the non-diet caught up with me. Ahh, maybe I will hit the gym this summer (like I say every year).

sure kudrow can wait, but others cannot

Big news from Bennifer Part Deux...

Jennifer Gardner is three months pregnant with Ben Affleck's baby. I believe they have yet to marry. This news shall make CM sad not because she likes Ben Affleck, but because she thinks Jennifer Gardner could do better. I personally think she couldn't because she is a horseface.

Say What????

I just recently fell upon a profile of Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe from "Friends") and learned that she had stayed a virgin until she got married...at 31 years of age. Wow...that is all I am going to say. I don't know what her religious affliation is, but if she is doing it for non-religious reasons, I am very impressed with her commitment, considering the "sex-crazed" world we live in today. My personal opinion on sex before marriage? I think most people that know me, know my thoughts in this area, and if you don't...ask me.

If I had a sports team, I would call them "The Orange"

Marquette University has recently decided to change their mascot from the Golden Eagles to Marquette Gold. This decision has come after a debate on whether or not to change their mascot back to their former Marquette Warriors. They have previously changed their mascot from the Warriors to Golden Eagles because of growing dislike for Native images used for sports teams. Recently two alumni had offered to donate $2 million dollars for the return of the Warriors mascot. While I applaud the decision by the board to forgo the Warrior mascot I am puzzled by the decision to go with "The Gold". I think that Golden Eagles is a very strong name. Eagles are very strong, intelligent and beautiful animals...what is wrong with using them as a mascot? The Gold is a very ridiculous name...I mean...it's a color!!! Then again, I am a strong believer that school's having mascots/nicknames and caring so much about them is also ridiculous. Do they really think changing their name back to the Warriors is going to bring them back to a time when their basketball team was good? Let me tell you, it won't. I have advice for Marquette: choose any name that isn't silly sounding and doesn't offend people.

Please won't you save me from the real world (Find the cliche terms used in this here Blog)

As I was sitting in my abnormal psychology lecture today, it struck me: This is my last lecture as an undergraduate student. Normally, one would be silently rejoicing, smiling throughout the entire lecture but not me. My face turned red, my throat closed up, my eyes glazed over....Say it ain't so. Now, don't get me wrong. It is not like I am a fan of sitting in boring 75 minute lectures, passing the time by doodling and occasionally partaking in the student newspaper crossword puzzle. The reason I was so panicky is that I realized I was one more step to being a "real" adult...a JOBLESS "real" adult. I started imagining going back home to live with my parents...which wouldn't be so bad if they lived anywhere besides Sheboygan. Oh Sheboygan, how I loathe thee. Why couldn't I find the time to do my graduate school research during last summer or even this fall? Why can't I put off adulthood for one more year? Perhaps there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just sent in my application to Public Allies. Hopefully it won't turn into a disappointing mess like Teach for America. Keep your fingers crossed and to all those jobless graduates...I salute you!!!

Juliette" Louise" and making fun of little children

So last night Ri, CM, Andy and I went to see Juliette Lewis's band The Licks at Union South. The little bit of the show that I actually got to pay attention wasn't half bad. The other half that I wasn't paying attention was committed to trying to save my own life from the moshers in front of me. I am getting to old to go to shows like that, and I am only 22 years old!!! Anyway, Juliette was very hardcore (and that is not being sarcastic). She totally knew how to rock it out without trying (or shall I say not trying too hard?).

The opening band was called, Faithful Promise which is a local band. I don't really know how old they were but they looked like babies. Their band was good, I wasn't blown away but pleasantly surprised. The lead singer has a killer "rock scream" as I like to call it. Rianna turned to me while they were playing and said, "Who do you think is the cutest?" I found this question a little disturbing since they looked like they were still in high school. I turned to her and said, "the bassist."

During the show we ran in to this guy we use to hang around with and he invited us to his birthday party afterward. At the party we started it off with a bang...discussing American Gladiators and watching a little Double Dare 2000. It is fun to make fun of children that can't answer simple questions.

JEM is truly truly truly outrageous

Congradulations you are Kimber!


Which Character from Jem and the Holograms Are You?
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You know you want to take the quiz.... and if you don't know what Jem and the Holograms is, you were not a true child of the 80's.

I know this is a week late, but I am still going to vent

Arrested Development just had its season finale last week, and a high chance of it being it's series finale. Why oh why must people not watch this genius show? Did they never get around to watching it? Did they watch it and decide that is really wasn't that funny (which I think would be really rare)? Is it on a bad time slot? If the show does get cancelled, my only hope is that a cable network decides to pick it up, preferably not HBO or Showtime or any other network that I don't have access to. Come on, who doesn't like a little incest humor?

Further transcending into nerdhood

I have never had allergies, never ever in my entire life. Now all of a sudden I allergies. It started with the introduction of Iggy into our apartment. Cats never used to make my nose run or eyes itch but this cat gets to me. If I pick him up and pet him, my nose starts to run like a faucet, I sneeze and my eyes are irritated. Normally I am better if I am away at class, but today my nose was still running and eyes were itchy. Apparently there was a high pollen count today and CM, my roomate, tells me that she thinks the two are related. Why am I now becoming sensitive to all these allergons? I am becoming one of those nerds that is allergic to everything. Next thing you know I won't be able to eat peanuts.

You remember Hollie right? She's your other daughter...

Ok Blog readers...maybe you can tell me if this is rude or not.

My dear sister tends to talk to our mother more than I do, mostly because I am a bad person who never keeps in touch when I am away and partly because I am a bad daughter. Rianna likes to inform my mother of my news, even though I would like to be the first person to tell her. Here is the most recent example.

I applied for Teach For America. Today I got the letter telling me if I was accepted or not. Rianna was home when the mail came, and I was not. She called me to let me know it was in and wanted to know if I wanted her to open it and read the response. I said ok because I figured I knew the answer. She opened it, read the REJECTION (not a shocker to me at all), we said our goodbyes and hung up. When I got home later that day Rianna informed me that she told our mother already. I didn't really say anything to her just gave her a look and she responded "I figured if you wanted me to open it you would want me to tell her....She was on-line!!!" I then asked her if she was hypothetically the first person to find out I was engaged, would she ruin it for me and call mom and tell her. She said yes in a jokingly manner but I knew she would.

So was it right of her to tell our mother before I had the chance to or am I, as Freud would say, subconsciously projecting my anger at TFA towards my sister?

I enjoy drinking Kool-aid out of the Guinness glass that Rianna stole from a bar when she was drunk

Don't you just love titles that have nothing to do with the content of my blog?

I hate writing papers at this time of night. I am such a procrastinator. However, I have found that if I try to do any writing, blog-wise of academic-wise, in the afternoon or morning I consistently draw a blank. It is complete writer's block. When I write at night, I become a sudden genius. Perhaps its just my exhaustion that distorts my perceptions. Its like beer goggles, except with no alcohol (just sleep deprivation) or ugly boys (just a badly written paper).

My sister has recently got a new cat by the name of IGGY. Capitalization is not necessary, but I thought I should emphasize his name because it is awesome. He, on the other hand, is not so awesome. His 3 month stay at the Humane Society has left him with separation issues. Iggy is very demanding for attention, and if you allow him to sleep on your bed, he will lay on top of you as opposed to next to you. He prefers to sleep on my neck. Apparently he also has throat irregularities, so when he meows, he sounds like Gizmo.

My sister's best friend, Shikara, just had baby number 3, Layla Elizabeth (Baby number 2, Autumn picked it out). Shikara is only 22 years old, but get this...she had her first child at the age of 16, finished high school early, got her associate's degree in accounting, is working on her bachelor's degree with a double major in accounting and marketing (currently just a few credits shy from graduating) and was able to get a job working as an account making good money, all while raising her kids and not shoveling off responsibilities to relatives and has been with the same guy for 7 years. She is so super motivated and should be a role model for all teen mothers to show that it is possible to get an education and still be a mother.

The weirdest compliment I ever got

Did that ever happen to you...someone complimented you on an attribute (whether it be physical or personality-wise) that no one even pointed out on you before or that you have noticed before but never thought of as nice? One time someone pointed out a dimple I have that is below my right eye when I smile and laugh. I always thought it was funny looking, but apparently someone thought it was cute (even my sister pointed it out as being more defined that she remembered). The weirdest compliment, along these lines, is when a friend of mine told me I had nice ankles. Not that they seemed strong or anything. She just thought they were pretty. Now, I must say...never in my entire life would I have thought that ankles could be pretty. To me that would be telling someone they had beautiful knuckles. It just doesn't make sense.

mmmm, fry bread

I love spring break in Sheboygan. It is cold, boring and I am held up in my parents' apartment sick. I had this weird crampy muscle feeling in my upper abdomen that I had just recently gotten over after a three day stint. Now it is turning into a sore throat thing (I am sure the two are unrelated but of course it must happen to me back to back). Feeling sick doesn't make a person totally motivated to do school work (which I desperately need to do) or prepare for an interview (which I need to do as well). I wish I could have spent my last spring break going somewhere besides Sheboygan, but alas, I have always been too poor to do anything including a road trip to anywhere.

The upside to spending spring break in Sheboygan is going to a bar on St. Patrick's Day night and getting white roses from a random person (which I am still convinced was Ri or an old friend who was drunk and kept on telling me how beautiful I was) and eating fry bread and chili. MMMMM

Creepy

I hate to say it but people walking down the street, by themselves and not on a cellphone, who are smiling really creep me out. They seem to have no reason for smiling. Maybe it bothers me because I am a coldhearted bitch, but come on. I must admit seeing someone smile makes me smile as well, but not for the reason one might think. It makes me smile because I am thinking, "Wow, that person must be crazy. And to me that is funny."

Today I was walking down the street and I saw this skinny indie guy walk past me with that Derek Zoolander, sucked-in cheeks/pursed lips look. It made me smile (on the inside though because I don't want to look crazy).
I also saw this guy who was seriously rocking out to whatever he was listening to on his headphones. I am talking rock face with an air drum solo (like air-guitar but with drumsticks).

See if you get this. It is from comedian Demetri Martini:
"I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. 'How was breakfast?' 'Unbelievable.'"
I like it because it is smarter than me.

I am just saving my energy for spring

Hibernation response: overeating (especially carbs), weight gain, fatigue, and hypersomnia (oversleeping)

I saw this video on welfare reform in my social work class which also made me want to cry. First they should this 17 year old girl pregnant with her second child who wants to leave high school to move to another city with her boyfriend and his family. When asked what she and her boyfriend are going to do once they finish high school, because she was almost done, she responded that she didn't know what she was going to do and her boyfriend still had more high school to finish. He is 14 years old!!! Yikes... So she couldn't get welfare because 1. she was a minor and 2. it was her second child (child exclusion act). The second thing that made me want to cry was seeing this woman going to the food pantry and returning home to her 4 children who were tearing open the boxes, bags of food and the mom was yelling at them because they needed to ration the food. I am so glad that I was always a well fed kid.

If I could be anything in the world, and had the ability to do anything, there is no doubt in my mind that I would be a rock star.

A way to make me almost cry in the middle of lecture:

I saw the saddest video clips today in my psychology class. The video was on Munchusaun(sp?) by Proxy. For those of you who do not know what this is, it basically is when parents will inflict pain/harm/illness on their children so they can gain attention/pity/praise for themselves through their actions of "being a good parent" by bring them to the hospital and trying to cure their children. This is an oversimplified definition, but you should get the idea. Anyway, the video we saw, was of parents in the act of harming their children (in hospital surveillance videos). One video showed a father smothering this one year old daughter. He was putting his hand over her mouth and pressing down hard. You could see the little girl struggling by throwing her arms and legs around. This went of for about a minute, until finally he stopped. The girl's gasping for air was so loud, it was drowning out the noise from TV (I should also note that the girl did not get any real permanent damage). The father then went to the nurse and told her that his daughter had stopped breathing. When questioned, he said he had tried to help her by shaking her. Once the man was told that he was caught on camera, he just said he wanted an attorney. Seriously, watching those clips was not cool, I had to close my eyes through most of it.

Always the wingman, never the man

Things I must always remind myself:
-when going out drinking with two guys that like drinking, don't try and keep up
-when people drink, they get horny
-because of this and being such a good friend, you must volunteer yourself to strike up a conversation with potential one night stand material (many times this is unsuccessful but you need to give it a try)
-always have someone to walk you home after bar closing because walking home alone is scary

***Just to clarify, I am not the one partaking in the one night stands. My friends do but not I.

Guys don't hold doors open anymore

On Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to College Library when I has a break in between classes. On one such day, I was about ten feet away from the door when I felt something woosh by me at a fast pace. I noticed it was this guy on one of those stand up scooter things. As he was passing me he said, "Allow me!" in this very dashing manner and opened the door for me. I giggled, because I never saw one of those things in person before, and it is as ridiculous in person as it is on TV. At the same time, I was jealous, because it would be so awesome to have one of those things. But really, what real purpose do they fill?

The most rockingest band ever

Last night my friend Lina and I went to The Annex to see one of my favorite bands, Ok Go. It was so worth the ten bucks a piece. Lina never heard of the band before but she definitely liked them. The lead singer split his pants while playing a song. They did their usual dance routine for the encore. A drunk girl ran up on stage and molested the new guitar/keyboard player and the lead singer made fun of him for having a new girlfriend. Overall, it was a great night, despite some less than desirable audience members. Oh, another thing I liked about the night was that I was able to sit down and watch the show, it was a small venue and the crowd wasn't rowdy.

If you have never heard of them before, I suggest buying their first, self-titled album, you will not be disappointed. They are a fun rock band with a pop sensibility. This is how they are described on their site: "They're like a boy band that got seduced by Queen and wound up in college instead of Orlando."

Another interesting thing I learned in my psychology class: apparently this drug that is used in the treatment of patients with obsessive compulsive disorder has a side effect (5% chance) of causing spontaneous orgasm when a person yawns. "What?" was my first reaction, followed by "Cool." Unfortunately, the drug more than often causes the inability to orgasm as opposed to the opposite. What a cruel contradiction.

Yay!!! I did it!!!

I just, this very minute, sent in my application for Teach For America. Oh boy, I am becoming a big girl, applying for "jobs" now. Now I just have to sit here and fret while I wait to see if the call for an interview comes.

Ri made me go with her to A Woman's Touch today. Very inappropriate. I couldn't stand being around all the sin. Amen

Sad day

My family's cat, Schuyler, died yesterday early in the morning. We had him for 9 years. He used to be exclusively my cat, until he started to prefer my brother. I will miss him.

Hey...you can always call Mom.

I need a study break, so I decided to write about some random thoughts I have been having lately. So here it goes.

-Why, when people find lost cellphones, do the sometimes initially look in the cellphone's "phonebook" for MOM? Is it our natural instinct to think that mothers can solve anything? When my sister lost her cellphone, our mom got a phone call, telling her they found the phone. Weird.
-Text messaging is today's version of passing notes in middle school. It annoys me when people will do it in the middle of class. It seems sort of infantile to me. Can it really not wait for 50-75 minutes? Stupid
-I am not really upset when a girl who is sitting in front of me has really long hair and it accidentally drapes on my desk. I just move it with my pen, and she doesn't even notice. However, I am upset when a girl has shoulder length hair and leans way far back in her chair so her hair is on my desk and covering my notebook. I can't really move the hair because she would definitely notice, since I would practically touch her head. Annoying.
-One of these days I will learn how to spell schizophrenia, without the help of spellcheck. Hopeful.
-I like those people that chew their gum with their mouths open. Smacking, squeezing the juice out. Very cow like. Disgusting.
-During my psychology lecture, the professor was showing a video clip of a patient with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Everyone was laughing at the person's need to hit a glass cup against her teeth, to move a cup a certain way on a table etc. I found this to be kind of ignorant. These people have real problems, it is not as if they are doing it to entertain others. I hope that these students do not really want to be psychologists. Insensitive.
-Along with my theme of mental disorders, I think everyone is a little obsessive compulsive. For example, I have this need to doodle in the top left corner of every single page I take notes in. It tends to be the same design, but I mix it up everyone once in awhile. However, if I don't do this, I don't think anything bad will happen. So it can't be OCD. Sane.

Ok...enough...must go back to studying for the exam.

The Power of the Bow

Whenever I am in front of my computer, typing a paper or taking one of my online quizzes, I am in need of inspiration. Something to give me mental power to continue and to do my best. So, I reach over to my pile of pictures on my dresser and pick out a special picture that gives me just that: inspiration. This picture is of my one-year old cousin Emily. My sister, Ri, took it during Christmas at my grandpa's house when we were unwrapping presents. Ri put a bow off a present and stuck it on top of Emily's head. Right as Ri was about to take a picture of the cuteness, Emily took it off and started to give it back to Ri. So there is the picture: Emily sticking a bow into the direction of the camera. Why is this picture inspiration? I really don't know why. It is just the cutest picture ever of the cutest baby ever. I believe that it relaxes me. Whenever I am stressed out I look at it and think, "Ohhhhh, I have the cutest cousin ever!!!" I should upload it so everyone can share in my inspiration.

Guess who saw someone from TV?

So this is so not worth the blog but anyway I thought it was funny either way. Ri, CM and I were at the Plaza drinking a total of 2 pitchers tonight, just talking about random stuff. We left no more than 20 minutes ago and on our way out we saw Nick from the latest season from Road Rules. The only reason I thought it was weird was that when I first saw him, I didn't know who he was (even though I regretfully watched the show). As I saw him I thought he looked familiar, like I saw him at some event (since students of color kind of work with LGBT students I was sure I saw him at one of these events). Once I passed him I recognized who he was and turned around to Ri and CM who were behind me and pointed him out. It wasn't like I was so super excited to see him, I just thought it was weird that I would be in the same place as him since I NEVER EVER go out. I am just glad it was him and not Landon from Real World, because I would most likely kick that guy.

Pardon my French???

Where exactly did that expression come from? Why of all the languages in the world, is French linked to obscenities? What is wrong with, "Pardon my German," or "Pardon my Mandarin"?

In my psychology class we were learning about the different stages of development according to Sigmund Freud. An abnormal development in a certain stage can indicate a certain personality in adult life. For example, if a child was deprived of breast milk and affection during infancy (Oral Stage) they can grow up to be clingy and dependent. Anyway, the professor, joking around, talked about how a disruption in development of a certain stage can also showcase the obscenities the person will use in the future. These are the example he used (he used asterisks where it was needed):
Oral Stage: "You suck"
Anal Stage: "You a**hole"
Oedipal Stage: "You motherf***er"
Ah, the things you learn in college.

Finally, I would like to announce that I have officially become a college student: I HAVE TAKEN OUT MY FIRST STUDENT LOAN. Financial aid and scholarships are just not covering my college expenses and drug problem. Muhahahahah.

Boys will be boys

Saturday Night I attended this Student of Color Connection Lock-in. There was a bunch of different activities planned for the night. One of them was a poker tournament (no limit Texas Hold'em). I will be honest...I have no real experience playing this except with my other inexperienced friends and I also watch it on Celebrity Poker Showdown and other Poker games on ESPN. There were about 8 guys, 7 girls playing. The guy leading the games split the group into two, and the top three of each would play each other. Well, he wanted to split the group into the experienced and the inexperienced. Without really asking who has played and who hasn't, he makes it a girls table and a boys table. Ugh. I wouldn't have taken so much offense to it if the girls didn't know how to play, but there was only two girls who had either no idea at all or very little idea of what to do (the latter being me). What made me really happy was when the completely inexperienced girl made it to the final table. Take that you stupid boy.

A reason I am glad I am not a teenage boy

This will be long because it deserves a lot of explaining but it is definitely worth a read. Not too many people that know me personally have heard of this story. It had remained a secret between me and two other girls that have witnessed the "indecent" act (ok, so maybe each of us had told a few people that we could trust not to blab the story around school). The reason I think I, along with the other girls, never repeated what we saw was not so much to save the character/face of the individual we witnessed (which was the reason for me) but it was more of saving our own character/face for not only witnessing it but for not doing anything about it. So now, I guess you are wondering what it is I am talking about. Well here it goes: *Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Phoebe, Monica and I sat together in the back of Ms. Comer's sophomore English class. We were not friends outside of the classroom, but we enjoyed each other's company while inside the class. Joey sat to the right of our group and didn't really talk to anyone, he was a loner. Some kids made fun of him. He had that dorky facade. Anyway, one day while we were listening to our teacher, out of the corner of my eye I noticed Joey rubbing his hand over his pants. It wasn't a gentle brush, but rather more of a vigorous back and forth motion. I was shocked and looked away, telling myself to ignore it and it would go away. I hate to use this term because it is cliche, but it really was like witnessing a car wreak. I couldn't stop looking. It blew my mind. "How could he?" I thought. (You must remember too that seats were assigned, so I couldn't leave my seat).

As it turned out, this was a daily thing, almost on the dot timing. I never turned to look at Phoebe or Monica the first few days, I guess I was too shocked. But finally, one day while Joey was in action, I looked over at Phoebe and she was looking in Joey's direction as well. She noticed me looking at her and gave an embarrassed giggle. I mouthed "I know!!!" Then Monica noticed what we were looking at and joined in our little secret.

As the semester went on, he never knew that we knew and he never ceased. Monica, Phoebe and I were deciding what to do about it. We didn't want to embarrass him, but as time went on we didn't want people to know that we have been watching for that long. Joey even upped it by unzipping his pants and putting his hand inside. That day I let out a quiet yelp, that luckily no one noticed. That day also started my smooth hand-on-the-side-of-my-face in a "I'm concentrating really hard" pose that helped me divert my eyes from the mess. (At this time I should also mention that Joey was not blatantly doing this. He seemed to be trying really hard to do it discreetly). Eventually we were able to move seats, and so ended my daily show. Monica, Phoebe and I would always continuously mention it to each other. It bonded us. Phoebe even wrote about it in my yearbook (using code words of course). Ah, traumatic moments in high school.

It is odd that I go from talking about babies to talking about this. I don't know what has made me think of this and want to write about it. I think I've been watching too much Stella and now my mind has gone in the gutter. By the way, the teacher's name was not intentionally created. I needed inspiration for a last name and it just so happened that it was my psych book author's last name. It was completely coincidental.

I wonder what the babies are thinking

As I was walking down State Street on my way to class, I saw this adorable baby in one of those infant carrier-harness things. The baby looked about 4-6 months old. It had on this big thick winter suits and a colorful hat. It was pretty cold outside around 5 degrees with wind chill, so I felt bad because the cold was still able to get to his/her face. The baby looked pissed off. Its eyes were squinty with a furrowed brow and its mouth was all pursed (it still looked cute).

Then I started to think. I would be pissed off if I were that baby too. Think about it. Having this ridiculously big snow suit on then being constrained into a harness, in which there is no movement or bending of legs or arms. The baby's 4 appendages were sticking out, it looked like a star. To top it off, the baby was strapped on the dad's chest face out. That would be like a scary ride. You are suspended, from what seems like no where, you have no control of where you are going and you would feel like you could crash into anybody/thing at anytime. Boy am I glad I am not a baby.

It's Janet. Miss Jackson if you're nasty.

In my psychology classes, I have learned over and over again about the three levels of consciousness in Psychoanalysis. You have your Ego, your Superego and your Id. They also have titles which state their purpose which are, respectively, reality principle, moral principle and the pleasure principle. Whenever the professors call the id, "the pleasure principle" I start singing the Janet Jackson song of the same title in my head. I completely lose track of the lecture as I replay the video in my mind. Janet Jackson looking super cool in ripped jeans and a jean jacket with perfectly feathered hair. She was dancing in front of a mirror in what looked like a dance hall. Her dance even included a little "step on a chair and tip that back over" trick. It was major cool. Here's the lyrics for you because I know you want to sing along.

Why have I never heard this before?

I just learned today about a little boo-boo that Bush Sr. (or rather his speech writers) made in a State of the Union. Still dealing with the "war on drugs" which his predecessor started, Bush showed a bag of crack-cocaine which he said was purchased off of the White House lawn. Of course this would cause some anxiety for Mr.. and Mrs.. middle america, who see the drug of the innercity crawling its way to the suburbs. Well, this is what Mr. and Mrs. middle america do not know:

Bush's speech writers knew that showing crack would make a big statement. So they went to the police asking for some crack just to use to show america what to be scared of. Well, not suprisingly the police said no. Then they (not sure if it was still the writers or some other employees) went searching on the streets for some. But here's the thing. They were telling the dealers they wanted the transaction to take place on the White House lawn. Also not suprisingly the dealers said no, knowing that they would get busted. Finally they found a naive 17 year old, who didn't even know what the white house was, to do it. They gave this boy directions on how to get there and what to do. On the day the boy didn't show up, so they called him and picked him up to go through with the transaction!!!!!!! Needless to say the boy was prosecuted.

Some random thoughts:
-In any Vietnam War era movies it is really annoying when they show a montage of war/protests clips and play that "Time Has Come Today" song. Seems too cliche
-If Southerners want me to stop making fun of them, then they have to stop doing things that will make me make fun of them such as: being a redneck, being ignorant, voting Conservatively because it is more "moral" and allow them to keep their guns (Now is this irony or hypocritical? Either way I know it is stupidity)
I know this is harsh, but this is a viewpoint of a liberal Northerner
-Do those Neighborhood Watch signs really intimidate criminals?
-McGruf could not work today. I didn't buy it as a kid.

It's like "the nothing" from Never-ending Story

My Criminology professor was trying to explain what the white blight of the slums in cities was like. He compared it to "the nothing" from the never-ending story. He asked the class if anyone ever heard of the movie. Uhhh, yeah that movie doesn't ring a bell. Are you kidding me? My brothers, sister and I were raised on that movie. I still want to know what the hell Sebastian mom's name was. Well, either way, this professor gets a check-plus in my mind for using such an awesome reference.

choo-choo charlie

What the hell is a choo-choo charlie? I heard someone on Amazing Race use it to describe the host, then I heard it used on an old episode of Saturday Night Live. I think it is a term of praise or something. But I think that CM thinks Peter Brady is a choo-choo charlie. I think his face is screwed up but he is buff.