Soulpancake Post #3 - How do you keep yourself in check?

From the Virtues and Vices section:

DIG DEEPER QUESTIONS:
"Which of your flaws most bothers you?" - My hesitation and sometimes outright resistance to ask for help or company. I need to know how to balance my desire for independence and the human instinct to be part of a group.
"How are you a hypocrite?" - I am always the person that encourages people to "Stop giving any fucks" but every once in a while I find myself caring what others think about me and/or my actions.
"What's one thing you're glad you didn't do?" - As much as it might pain my family to read/hear this, moving back to my hometown after I graduated college. I think it took me truly living by myself to develop my own person, the person that I am today.

BIG QUESTION:
"How do you keep yourself in check?" - I keep myself surrounded by people that know me best. They are usually the ones that remind me of the person that I was and am. If I am completing relying on myself, then I always take a moment for self-reflection before I speak or act. Rarely do I do something without it being filtered first.

Soulpancake Post #2 - What Can You Do To Make This World A Little Less Screwed Up?

From the Life, Death and Living section:

DIG DEEPER
"Who has made your life a little less screwed up?" - My parents. They raised me with a sense of security, to have a level head, focus and drive. They have pretty different personalities and I like to think I have taken the best of both of them. With all of those factors combined I was able to not be distracted by bad influences.
"Should community service be mandatory?" - No. When people are forced to do things, they do not give their 100% effort nor do they bring positive energy. The best community service performance comes from individuals that put all of the heart in their work. Positive energy begets positive outcomes.
"When it comes to volunteer work what stops you from stepping up?" - Time. Work commitments and setting time aside to keep my mind/body/spirit happy leave me with little time to better my community. Even writing it down now makes me feel selfish. Blerg!

BIG QUESTION
What can you do to make this world a little less screwed up? - Be nice, be patient, be understanding, listen and accept others for who they are.

Soul Pancake Challenge -Chewing on Life's Big Questions - Post #1 - How has my sense of right and wrong evolved?

I'm trying out another challenge for myself. I won't necessarily be blogging everyday, but there will be at least one post a week.

This most recent challenge has been influenced by a book I just purchased: Rainn Wilson's (yes, Dwight from the Office) Soul Pancake: Chew on Life's Big Questions. I bought the book after getting addicted to watching video's uploaded to the similarly named YouTube channel. The channel makes videos that are uplifting, funny, thought provoking and just all around good. The book asks questions that make you think about philosophy, art, love, creativity, science, etc (all with some pretty cool art). So I decided to use this blog to answer some of the book's questions. It's about to get deep up in this business.

Here is the basic set up. Each page of the book has one main question, three "dig deeper" questions along with random quotes and facts around the topic. First up, from the "Introspection, Reflection and Identify" section:

DIG DEEPER:
"When is it important to rebel?" - When the powers-that-be are enforcing laws that limit the freedoms of people, even if the enforcement does not personally affect you.
"What will you never change your mind about?" - That there is good in the world and you don't have to look that hard to find it.
"What have you unlearned since your childhood?" - Perfection exists. No one is perfect. People make mistakes and should be given a chance for forgiveness.

BIG QUESTION:
"How has your sense of right and wrong evolved?" - By my experiences of getting to know new people from different walks of life, who have made me rethink my opinions and my truths. Sometimes those opinions have even changed.

This is the end...of the July postings!

This has been a lot harder than I expected, but I did it...one blog for every day of July. I was able to come up with ideas for a post everyday, even if I was stretching it on some day. I didn't get too personal or at least not so personal that I became uncomfortable. I like to think that I stayed at least some what amusing.

I definitely will not be blogging everyday from here on out but I will be trying to blog more often than I have in the past. I even purchased myself a tiny notebook, to mark down ideas when the mood strikes me. I should note that this notebook is turning out to be more of a "don't forget to buy...." reminder book so we will see how this pans out.

I am not sure if I met my objective which was to be more thoughtful about what I was writing as well as to be more considerate about my grammar/techniques/etc. Either way...meh...whatevs.

Now everyone should go and listen to "Yesterday" to mark this bittersweet day.  I even included several versions for the diverse tastes.
Beatles
En Vogue
Frank Sinatra
Elvis Presley
Boys II Men
Ray Charles 
whatever this is

Post #30 - High Self Esteem - Thanks Mom and Dad

I find it hard to believe that there are parents out there that don't overly praise everything about their children. Well, I guess that I know they exist, but thinking about these types of parents just makes me sad. People should be as lucky as I have been in my life to have parents that think everything you do is great.

There was a comedy bit I remember Amy Schumer doing in which she said she never knew she was awkward looking, because her mom always told her how beautiful she was....frizzy hair, cat shirts and all, which lead her to have high self esteem. I can relate to that.

My mom thinks that my writing is amazing. I should be writing novels, screenplays, columns, you name it...my words should be there. My dad can't really tell you accurately what I do for a living, but what he can tell you is just how good I am at it. I am a modern day business lady...jet setting from exotic location to exotic location...Durham to San Antonio, yo! They both think that I am one of the most beautiful people in the world...tied with their other children and grandchildren.

They are obviously the most brilliant and insightful people in the world.

When I see other people in horrible relationships, girls (and guys) that will forgive cheaters, or people that are just mean to them, I think, "Why do they put up with that?" And I automatically realize, they must not have high self esteem, that they some how think that deserve to be treated that way. I should lend them my parents for a week. My parents will praise them to the point that they will realize how amazing they are and will kick the loser to the corner.

You can rent my parents for a low price of $50 a week: Discount due to the corny/inappropriate jokes from my dad and for my mom ordering food from a restaurant and complaining about the choice she made (remember Mom, you don't like Chicken Fried Steak). Heart those crazy kids!

July Blogception - Post #29 - I'm a Conundrum

I wouldn't blame anyone for not "getting" me. I am hard to define. My personality traits tends to be both sides of the spectrum at the same time.

I'm a high strung hippie.
I'm a ditzy intellect.
I'm a jaded romantic.
I'm a flawed perfectionist.
I'm messily organized.
I'm immaturely sophisticated.
I have an athletic build without any athletic ability.
I am a friendly introvert.
I like to think I am cool for all of the nerdy things about me.

They should call of this, being Hollandish. And to think...I am not a Gemini!

July Post # 28 - Everybody is a Boob Man

A gay friend once told me that although he was not attracted to women, he would consider himself a boob man. He then claimed that everyone is a boob person. I have come to the realization that this is true. Even I appreciate the aesthetics of a good set of breasts. I may sometimes get distracted by my own cleavage, thinking "Yay, my boobs are on point today!"

However, I think one should be discreet when appreciating the boob area. I get super insecure when I think that there might be a small chance that someone is looking at my chest region. At a house party during college, I was chatted up by a guy that would not look at my face. Not thinking it was true, I jokingly said, "Are you looking at my boobs?" His awkward response was, "No...Yes." Then a few weeks ago, while in an elevator I found the guy across from me staring at my chest. Then he looked at me with a confused look on his face and said, "What does your t-shirt say?"

My response to both situations was to hunch my back, mutter something, and walk away. You can look at boobs (or words on t-shirts) without ogling people!

Today is what? - Post # 27 - Weird National Days of Recognition

July 27th is...

National Dance Day
National Day of the American Cowboy
National Sleepy Head Day
National Scotch Day

Just thought you would like to know.

July Blogstache - Post #26 - It's a Family Thing

Is It Over Yet? - Post #25 - Jobs of Yore

My first job was working as a sales associate at a department store. I worked in the junior's department. I spent 90% of my time cleaning out the changing room (I once found a used sanitary napkin), 5% of the time cleaning the showroom floor/refolding clothes, 3% of the time answering customer questions (I once showed a man the approximate bra size I thought he would fit), 2% of the time helping out at the cash register.

My next job was working with the Native student organization on my college campus. I helped plan events, put together budgets, I sat on Boards as the Native student representative, and held "office hours" in which I would answer questions about our organization and sometimes about the Native community in Madison. Once a white woman came in to ask what "my people" did to get rid of Asian Beetles. My answer, "uhhhhhh."

During the summers of my college years, I worked at day camps for the community recreation department. I did what most camp counselors did...showed the kids how to make lanyards and paper plate maracas, kicked their tiny little buts at kickball, blew my whistle at them, yelled at them...You know, the usual. I even got to drive one of those 15 passenger vans! Fun times.

My senior year of college going into the last summer of freedom, I worked at at one of those scent filled bath and body shops. I had a headache for the first two weeks from the stench and all of my co-workers were the worst (minus the short time that my roommate worked with me). So it basically was my favorite job ever.

For a short period their I worked at a temp agency. I would show up the day of and wait to see if they needed me for any job. I usually ended up at a factory, where all I did was push Styrofoam boards through a machine that would break it down. That was a weird time in my life.

Then I had my first real post-college job, as a service coordinator for a low-income housing property. I put together programs that educated the residents on financial planning, anger management, parenting classes, adult educational opportunities, and so on. Most of my time however, was spent dealing with the police calls. This was the first job that I did not voluntarily leave. Luckily I wasn't fired, but I was laid off.

And then, I went to my current place of employment. My work history in retrospect seems kind of short and all over the place. But at least I can say I never had a job that I absolutely hated. Don't get me wrong, I definitely didn't love the jobs, but at least I never quit out of frustration.

July Nostalgia Epidemic - Post #24 - My Inner Self Will Always be the 11 Year Old Version of Me

Oh what a difference 20 years makes.

It has just been recently pointed out to me that Ace of Base's The Sign and The Sandlot, are both 20 years old!  They both came out in 1993. At first I did not want to believe it. No way could that be 20 years ago. Because that is a long time and I can distinctly remember when those items first came out. I basically felt like a grown up at that time. OK, I was only 10/11 years old, but still old enough to have a lasting memory.

But if I really think about it, I remember a lot of things from that time in my life. It is almost as if that onset of adolescence really sticks with a person, or at least it did for me. So I decided to look up 1993 year in review to see if things really did make me go: "Really? That was 20 years ago? Ugh."

And guess what this website (http://pop-culture.us/Annual/1993.html) made me say that phrase repeatedly. Maybe instead I should say to myself, "Really, That was ONLY 20 years ago." Maybe that will make me feel better?

Songs: 
I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston
Informer - Snow Freak Me - Silk
That's The Way Love Goes - Janet Jackson
Weak - SWV (Sisters With Voices)
Dreamlover - Mariah Carey

TV Shows:
Home Improvement (ABC)
Seinfeld (NBC)
Roseanne (ABC)
Grace Under Fire (ABC)
Coach (ABC)
Frasier (NBC)

Movies:
Jurassic Park
Mrs. Doubtfire
Sleepless In Seattle
Schindler's List

Scandels/Shocking Death:
Michael Jackson's pedophile case
Brandon Lee's onset death
River Phoenix's drug related death

July Pintrest-y Post #23 - Look Ma, I'm Crafty!

My parents bought me a used dining room set. It was made of really nice wood and included six chairs, for only $25. What a deal. The cushions were not so great. But I was told I could simply reupholster them. Yikes! I have not one creative/crafty bone in my body. But I gave it a shot. I even went with a fabric that I felt would go well with my dining room walls.

Before

After

These are my bedroom walls, don't judge me!

I feel like Martha Stewart now.

July Let Downs - Post # 22 - Say It Ain't So Ryan!

Former MVP Ryan Braun Suspended

I feel like one of those girls that I always judge that believe their philandering boyfriends. "How could you be so naive?" I would think. Well, I now say I can related. Because I believed his story.  Now I can never trust anyone every again! {over-dramatic breakdown}

However, I can always take the mindset of my brother who says everyone in the MLB is doing it. So if everyone is doing it, they should be on a level playing field, and Ryan still managed to out preform everyone. But I am still salty. Call me idealistic, but I would rather see people play with their natural ability, even if it means that the game is a little more boring to watch.

However, I am not throwing out my Braun tshirt. I'm just going to retire it for a little while. He needs to prove himself again next season. Win himself back into my good graces. Meanwhile I will continue my adoration of the newest Brewers superstarts, Gomez and Segura. Please don't disappoint me boys!

July Flashback Post #21 - Lingering Homework Anxieties

Am I alone on this? It has been a little more than 8 years since I have finished college, and a little more than 12 years since I finished high school and I still have small moments of panic in which I think I forgot homework.

It usually happens at night, right before I drift off to bed. I start doing a mental check list of what I am suppose to do the next day. My mind automatically takes me to the classroom and handing off homework that I did not finish. This thought usually jolts me every so slightly enough, that I am no longer drifting to sleep. I'm just awake.

The weird part is that I never forgot any homework or special tests in high school or college. I was always prepared. Was the homework perfect? Of course not. But at least it was never late.

I take it back. I wasn't always prepared. In fact, the one time that I can remember not being prepared is probably why I still have anxieties about not completing homework to this day. I was in third grade, and I had to build a diorama of the Little House on the Prairie. For some reason I forgot about it, until late at night. I told my mom at bedtime that I forgot. Needless to say, the next morning I might have found a completed diorama. The homework fairies were good to me. Maybe I should start believing in fairies again.

July Meandering Deep Thoughts Part Deaux Post #20 - What does the color of your skin have to do with it?

I am a biracial child and this is the way that I self-identify myself. My father is white (French-Canadian, Irish, and German ancestry) and my mother is American Indian (Menominee and Bad River tribes). According to a few people, I supposedly look like I have "little something" in me. I think I look white, or rather my appearance favors my father's side of the family. Even my mother would admit that I am the fairest of her four children. Apparently by the society's standards, you are whatever you look like:

While participating in a diversity training activity in an AmeriCorps program I was in after college, we were asked to step to one of two sides of the room. The white participants stood on one half of the room and the non-white participants stood on the other side. I refused to participate. I did (and do) not identify myself with either side of the room, and I didn't want them to make me choose. Making me chose, would be an insult to one of my parents. It was surprising to me to find that the organizers of the activity, didn't have the MANY biracial participants involved when planning the activities. It still irritate me to this day.

Even when in college, while attending events in the Multicultural Student Center (MSC), I would be asked why I was there: Was I a House Fellow that needed to attend to better understand the students of color of my dorm? Sigh. Following this event, I found myself almost defending myself at future MSC events. It was just a notch below shouting, "My mother is brown!"

At work, the Board of Directors had noticed that there wasn't a great representative of diversity in the program over the years. Another staff person, who is white, was asked to lead the discussion to strengthen and increase the diversity of the program. No need to ask the only nonwhite person on staff to help out or provide feedback!

However, I am not innocent of this judging/classifying by skin color. My family has had plenty of discussions about who should play Native American in movies. Can it just be anyone with brown skin? Would a fair skin biracial person (such as myself) be OK? I found myself saying, that if someone with fair skin were cast in a Native American role it would probably upset me, even if they were tribally enrolled.

After my mugging, I did my own little experiment. I would tell the story of the mugging and deliberately leave out the race of the teenage boys. Majority of the people I would tell the story to would take it upon themselves to assign a race to the muggers.

I wish I could say we live in a "post-race" world but just reading the comments that are left behind from news stories on the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman and Darrius Simmons/John Spooner cases, we don't. Being perceived as white by others, I at least get to kid myself every once in awhile into thinking that there is no racism in the world. That is one of the privileges of being white, you don't have to think about race (but you are more than welcome to talk about it). Being any other color, you are reminded everyday that you are not white. And others will make automatic assumptions about your life/actions simply based on the way you look.

July Blogdigity Post #19 - Homegirl Needs a Massage

For some reason my entire body is sore. It is as if I have gone through some extensive marathon training, and then got run over by a freight train. Normally in these situations I would take a warm bath or would put a heating bad on my sore muscles, but in this heat...not going to happen. (Side note: when I brought up my soreness to my co-worker she said she thought it might be the heat that was causing it).

Because this has been happening for the past couple of days, I even thought about getting a massage, but then I remembered: I'm terrible at getting massages. Yes, people can be bad at getting massages. It happens.

I've gotten a professional massage three times. The first time, it was done by a VERY pregnant lady. I don't remember if it was good or not, because I was distracted the entire time, thinking to myself, "Man, do I feel guilty. A woman that is about to pop out a baby, is giving my whiney ass a massage." And then I proceeded to tip her well. The second time was fine, but at the time I was super stressed out at work. The entire time I was getting massaged, I was thinking about work and therefore tensing by body. Useless waste of the poor massage therapist's time. The third time the massage therapist's stomach was growling. I could hear it over the jazz music (that I had selected over the normal new age crap that is usually played). I was so focused on the stomach noises that I could not relax.

Or maybe all of the reasons are just excuses. Because in reality, I hate being touched by strangers. I can take a handshake, or a light punch in the shoulder. But if I don't know you all that well. Buy a girl a drink first otherwise hands off! Totally just kidding...you need to buy me a drink AND an appetizer.

Don't get me wrong. I am actually super affectionate with the people I actually know. I give good hugs, appreciate a back rub, I like to play with people's hair and for others to play with my hair (watch out, I will fall asleep), I may on occasion hold hands and I might snuggle every once in a while.  However, this can take a really long time. I'd say a year-ish. Usually it involves the person witnessing me make an ass out of myself. A few times it involves getting drunk together. It really bonds me with that person. After this I can let them enter my bubble.

If you are the offspring of my siblings...there is no probationary period. I will cuddle the crap out of you right away! No need to get drunk with me.

July Day Late Blog - Post # 18 - Free is the Best Tasting Food There Is

At work whenever someone puts food by out coffee station, that is an indicator that it is free for the taking. True to my college self, I take those people up on the offer. Even if it is something I don't like (Oreos for example, yes! I don't like Oreos) I will eat it just because I didn't have to pay for it. Of course there are rare exceptions to that rule, such as if I believe the food may make me sick; such as red meat which I have digested in over 10 years. But even then I do second guess myself.

I even find myself going to social functions I normally wouldn't go to, because I know I will get free food. Amateur Curling League is giving out free subs?  I am there.

I know that I am not alone in this. Who doesn't like free food. I even see it developing in younger generations ask the children go to parades and attack the free candy thrown at them like little hyenas attacking their prey. Welcome to the club kids.

July Blog Days of Summer - Post #17 - How Hot Is It?

So it's been pretty hot in Milwaukee lately. For a few days straight it has been near 100 and humid. The type of humid where you can almost feel yourself walk through a wall of sweat. I'm wearing a sun dress it is that hot out. I enjoy these days in an apartment with no air conditioning. And I will continue to have no air conditioning. It is just not THAT hot out.

I don't know how hot it has to be for me to relent and buy a small air conditioner. I'm just not willing to put in the money or effort. Call me lazy and frugal. I will call myself cost conscious and earth friendly.

I usually allevate the problem of hotness and humidity by taking a cold shower, wearing as little as possible, having the fan point right at me and sleeping with no sheets on. The latter of which pains me because I have a certain environment I need in order to get me to sleep: pitch black, white noise, body pillow and blanket covering me. I will put up with it if it means I am cool and giving in to buying a flipping air conditioner.

However, if it stays this bad, I might have to hit up a movie theater (still not buying an air conditioner).

Who me?  Stubborn?

July Good Bloggy! - Post #16 - Cubicle Etiquette

I work in a cubicle environment. It is kind of the worst. There is no way to shut your door to cut out your neighbors. No, instead you have to deal with that one co-worker that will stick his head over the cubicle wall, startle you, and then proceed to tell you about how the printer is broken - what exactly he was doing when he found out the printer was broken, how he was feeling when he found out the printer was broken, what he will do to fix the problem. The best solution to this situation is to just nod your ahead and not say anything. Polite, but not engaging.

Then of course there are the cubicle neighbors that are eating the loudest food possible. Sure, your work has rules about not eating strong smelling foods at your cubicles, but there are no restrictions on apples, carrots, or a never ending bag of kettle chips. Somehow, this person eating the loud food is also hyper aware that their food is loud. So they try to fix the problem by biting into the food slowly and taking forever to finish, but they are only making the situation worse (like those people opening candy wrappers in a movie theater).

Am I perfect? Of course not. I find myself humming to myself, talking a bit too loudly on the phone or grunting out of frustration. But at least I catch myself and fix the problem!

For all my friends out there that work in cubicleland, pay attention to this lovely article on cubicle etiquette.

This is the July Blog That Never Ends - Post #15 - Wedding Season!

I'm going to say something that may surprise many people that know me: I love weddings! Always have. Yes, the cynical, black hearted me loves a sentimental and corny wedding. Give me your electric slide, give me your buffet dinners, give me your sappy photo montages while "God Only Knows" plays, give me the bridal party choreographed dance routines and you best give me those photo booths with props! I will soak all the goodness in.

It is the one time I like to get dressed-up (usually hate it) and will voluntarily get down and boogey (which I also generally hate). I will stuff my face with food and cake and drink. It is also an excellent time to meet the other friends/family of the happy couple (OK, it is more fun to watch these people bust out their best Mom/Dad dance moves). I don't even to have a date to have a good time, that is how much I love weddings.

I feel bad for people that don't like weddings. What a better time then to celebrate the commitment of the people that you care about and to watch what will be one of the most happy moments of their entire life? I can understand personally not believing in marriage or thinking that too much money or importance it put into weddings/ceremonies, but hey, it's not your life or your decision! The one thing I do hope for, is the day when ALL marriages can be recognized which means I will have more opportunities to go to weddings of my friends/family.

I will be sending in two "yeses" to weddings I will be attending in the Fall. One family member and one college friend. Good times here I come!

July Blogernity Post #14 - A Random Sampling of My Music Playlist

I knew this day would come too soon. I have run out of ideas! So I thought I would share with you a sampling of my entire playlist of music. Here are the first 10 songs that played while I wrote this entry, and a little commentary:

1. Pixies - Monkey Gone to Heaven: Who doesn't love Doolittle? There is not a song on that album I dislike, and this is one of the top songs that I like on that album.
2. John Butler Trio - I Used to Get High: Even though this song came out after I was in high school, it still bring me back to that time, when I had a bunch of hippie dippie pothead friends. Ah, love and miss those girls.
3. Rufio - Control: These are one of those songs that remain in my playlist even though I never listen to it. Meh.
4. Nick Cannon - Gigolo: This came from a time that I downloaded a bunch of dancey-party songs for my sister's house parties. I probably could have chosen more wisely.
5. Collective Soul - Where the River Flows: Bringing it way back in time to middle school. When I was preppy grunge.
6. Kimya Dawson - Tire Swing: I love the Juno soundtrack!
7. Janet Jackson - Escapade: Once again, who doesn't love Janet? 80's Janet could do no wrong.
8. Pixies - Dead: Whoa, two songs from Doolittle. My playlist must know that I like that album.
9. Demetri Martin - The Jokes with Guitar: As much as I love Demetri Martin, it is kind of disappointing when a comedy routine pops up in your "10 songs" list. If you never heard of Demetri Martin, you should look him up on Youtube. Hilarious!
10. Ash - Lost in You: This band always reminds me of my sister. Love that little hipster!

July Blogomite - Post #13 - Follow Me! I Know the Way!

Put a dress and a blazer on me, and suddenly I am an expert at everything. My standard everyday wear is jeans and a t-shirt. Hair is either down or hastily thrown up in a ponytail. Make-up is a minimal. No jewelry.

When I travel for work, it is standard procedure to, at minimum, dress in business casual (even if all I am doing is flying). But if I am going from a meeting with a hotel representative straight to the airport, I am then in the airport in my business professional wear: blazer, pressed pants/skirt, make-up a little heavier and hair actually combed and "done" in some fashion, and jewelry. I actually look like a grown-up. (And I can admit it, I will even look in the mirror and say, "Damn Gurrrrl."

However, with great power comes great responsibility, because when you look professional obviously you know the answer to everything.  Take for example, my travel back to Milwaukee which landed on one of those, "must wear business professional" days. There I was, sitting at my gate, noshing on my pita chips, reading my People Magazine (please refer to the July 11th post) when the airline representative got on the intercom to announce that the pilot for our flight was still in DC and his/her arrival was yet to be determined but that we would be apprised.

Annoyed, I got up to stretch. As soon as I got up, three other passengers got up at the same time. The guy facing me grabbed his bag and asked me, "Where are we suppose to go?" I looked at him, then at the lady next to me (also standing up with her bag) and said, "Um, I didn't hear anything about a gate change. I'm just stretching."

I should have just grabbed my bags, headed to another gate, and said "Follow me, I know the way." (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade reference in ya face).

July Blogerty - Post #12 - Belated Haiku

I am so tired
I cannot be creative
Instead be lazy

July Travel Blog - Post # 11 - Doing a Little East Coast Swing

Philadelphia. If you are anything like that mean old lady I was in line with at Rite Aid this afternoon, you are all crabby and rude. Said the wholesome friendly and nice Midwestern girl. Seriously people. Do not stand behind people while in any type of line in Philadelphia. That is apparently interpreted as "getting all up on someone."

So I am in Philadelphia. It's one of those blink and you will miss it trips. Ah, the life of a meeting planner. Glamorous because you get to travel and stay in kick ass suites, while the hotel wines and dines you. Except for the parts where you barely get to leave the hotel because your day is busy from sun up to sun down.

I am getting better about it at least. I am forcing myself to get out and enjoy the city. Luckily the hotels where I stay are generally centrally located so I can see all the sites and attractions. For example, while in Philadelphia, I am a short distance from the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and the Philadelphia Art Museum (or better known as the Rocky Steps/Statue). The latter attractions was a bit further away and I was dealing with a headache so I just took a picture of it from about a mile away. I be a lazy tourist.

The other things I love about work trips are:

• My opportunity to each delicious and food that is horribly bad for me. Hey, I need to test out the local cuisine for the potential attendees!
• Buying trashy magazines to read while I wait for my flights.
• Piling up the bazillion pillows on my hotel bed and creating two body pillow boyfriends to sleep on either side of me.
• Trying the local brews/bars. Always good people watching.
• Interacting with THE local crazy homeless person. Today, after I said no to buying his news paper: "Bitch! It's fine. You'll probably be eating well tonight. I won't, but good for you." What? All I said is I didn't want to buy your newspaper. Why can it never be a nice, sane homeless person?

I'm lucky I don't travel more than I already do because I would be fatter from the good, dumber from the magazines, drunker from drinking, jaded from the crazy homeless people interactions, and physically dependent on body pillow boyfriends (OK, that last one is true).

p.s. Mom, Sorry I forgot to tell you I was in Philadelphia.

July Blog with a View - Post # 10 - So that's how you find me?

Google is able to show me the all time top 10 search words/phrases people find my blog along with the times they were used to find my blog. Here are the findings - I am particularly proud of number 6:

box of kittens	58
peoplegoingtoheaven.blogspot.com	46
bring back vhs	41
kittens in a box	18
little pictures have big ears	17
flat booty hoes	11
santiago cabrera shirtless	10
ethan cohn	8
cold person	7
peoplegoingtoheaven	6

Not too much to comment on except for, who is Ethan Cohn and why was I blogging about him? Also..box of kittens!

And my most viewed posts data is also interesting. Turns out people really do search for rants on VHS vs DVD and also have small obsessions with Mark Ruffalo:

Campaign to Bring Back the VHS Tape Sep 2, 2010, 2 comments	66
July Blog-a-Day Challenge - Post #1: Now That's Wh... Jul 1, 2013, 1 comment	59
Holy Mark Ruffalo was that man good looking! Dec 16, 2012	51
Photos of me = ridiculous faces and poor wardrobe ... Dec 5, 2012, 3 comments	44
Phat-Ass! vs. Flat-Ass! - Big Booty Hoes! Hop Wit-... Feb 20, 2006	29
Happy 4th of July Blogzilla! Jul 4, 2013	24
Things that are better than... Nov 5, 2012, 1 comment	21
Laundromat is the new bus Nov 13, 2012, 1 comment	20
Creepy things to do when you're single - Holiday E... Feb 6, 2013	20
July Oh My Blog - Post #8 - Lies I Look Forward to... Jul 8, 2013, 1 comment	20

Considering I have been writing on this blog for almost 9 year (whoa!) the number of page views is pretty low at just over 3,500. I sadly will never be internet famous. I can never use the phrase, "Do you know who I am?" when I feel like I have been disrespected. Sad times.

July Deep Thoughts - Post #9 - Working on being a little less mysogynistic

: having or showing a hatred and distrust of women 

 

I have found that when I am around a group of women (particular women that I do not know or are not my friends) I am automatically annoyed. It's just way too much feminine energy for me. My immediate thought is, "Ugh, I hate women."

The instant that I think it, I feel horrible. Of course I don't hate women! But why does the thought even momentarily enter my mind. Many of the mentors I had in college, that lead me through diversity training, taught me how to recognize and dissect my own prejudicial thoughts. Doing so can help me start the process of changing those automatic thoughts.

I've never been a particular girly girl. I am not what "How I Met Your Mother" describes as a "woo girl". Even if they are not literally "wooing", the collective noise of women talking runs chills up my spine. I guess part of me envies these types of girls. The types of girls that have tons of female friends. They have energy, spunk, optimism and they get noticed - sure that attention might be unwanted, but hey, at least they are not blending into the wall. Maybe part of me dislikes these types of girls because they remind me of the type of girls that were mean to me in middle school (but doesn't everyone feel that way)? Perhaps I am letting society's "norm" of women being catty towards one another get to me.

That is when I remind myself that I can be annoyed by this group of individuals but what I shouldn't do is blame their gender for being annoying. I should train myself to instead think, "I hate people...sometimes."

July Oh My Blog - Post #8 - Lies I Look Forward to Convincing My Nieces and Nephews are True

Everyone needs that uncle or aunt that is the jokester, the prankster, the kidder. For my childhood, that was my Uncle Peter. I remember one time when I was trying to get him to take a picture of me, my sister and brother. He told me that he would ... if we picked our nose. This happened:

Note I was the only one with my finger jammed right in there.

I want to now apologize to my brothers and sister (and the sisters and brothers of my in-laws) because I am staking claim to that aunt/uncle position. I already have my corny jokes/lies/pranks laid out:

1. Telling Lucy she was named after a released pinniped (lol - "loose seal").

Get it...Lucille...Loose Seal....Well, I think it's funny.

2. Getting this picture as a senior ad for Ian's future yearbook:

3. Convincing Lainie that when Gaga and Papa were young, the world was black and white. Here is the evidence:

Papa was a child circa 1860.

4. Recount the story to Teddy how we ate his twin in womb:

I know it's shocking...but it's true kid.

5. Because he once famously told me that he wanted to take his baby brother back to the hospital, I will let Gabe know the "truth": That after a night of crying all night, his parents tried to take him back to the baby store, but there was a strict no money back guarantee. Luckily for him, his parents grew to think he was OK :-)

Don't let those big blue eyes fool you. There is a menacing deviousness in there!

July Boggity Blog - Post #7: Your Children Wil Never Know What an Encyclopedia Is

I am of one of the last generations that will know published, hard cover encyclopedias. These publications were of a time where knowledge wasn't automatically at your finger tips. If you were sitting around with your friends, arguing about some random presidential facts (because that is of course what friends talk about when they get together) everyone would have to wait until someone went to the library to look up the fact in an encyclopedia. For those lucky few, they could even look up the fact in their own home's library. I don't believe many people owned their own encyclopedias, because they were expensive and they were a hassle to move.

My family inherited an encyclopedia set when I was a child. I remember using those books to look up information for school or just for my own amusement. For example, there was a section that included transparencies of the inside of the human body: skin, muscles, bones, organs. My weird self found this fascinating.

However, I was also aware to use the reference books with caution, because while it was the late 80's - early 90's at the time, our encyclopedia set was published in the early 60's. How old were they?  They had an entry for "Negros". Even as a kid, I remember reading that sections with shock and awe. I'm not sure if my parents will have them. I hope they do, because it is definitely a relic.

If you know my dad, you should ask him sometime about encyclopedias. He will go into a self-brag-story about how he would use his lunch time during high school to read sections of the encyclopedia. This is why he is now filled with random facts. Way to go Dad. You are so filled with knowledge (which I can easily pull up via the internet on my phone to prove you wrong). So I guess that makes me artificially smarter than you. So there.

July Blog-view - Post #6 - Despicable Me 2 with my nephews

Before I left Sheboygan following my brief holiday visit with my family, my brother I took our two nephews to the movies to see Despicable Me 2. We met up with my sister, her husband and their two daughters.

My nephews were very excited, because A) they loved the first Despicable me, B) they still talk about the time that we took them to see Wreck-it Ralph and C) movie theater popcorn! I always remember as a kid getting really excited when I got to go to the movie theater, and am glad I get to experience that with my nieces and nephews.

Because we didn't want the kids to be sitting together four in a row, I was tasked with being the lucky one that sat right in the middle of them. I distributed the popcorn between the four of them, and shared the drinks with them when they were thirsty. I also gently touched their legs when I noticed they were kicking the seats in front of me. For the most part they were perfect angels, but I wouldn't expect any less from kids that have great parents.

The movie itself was great. Funny, cute and the illustrations were visually appealing. I still prefer the 1st move over the second, but the second movie is still "full-price" worthy. To be honest, I would have gone to see it without kids in tow (and I can't wait for the minion movie). So see it!

July Blogmania Post #5 - Once a "Stepping Stone" Friend...

My family loves to recount this story from my childhood. I always tend to get the exact details wrong, but it goes a little something like this:

I was 4-5 years old and sleeping over at my aunt's house. She let me play outside with the neighborhood kids while she was most likely doing chores inside the house. When she went outside to check on me, she found that the little girls had surrounded me, pushing me down on the ground, while I just looked up at them pleading, "Friends?!? Friends?!?" What happens after this I don't remember, nor does it get mentioned when the family retells the story because the story is usually interrupted with laughter and my family talking about how dorky and cute I was. So young, so naive, so in need to be accepted.

This constant need to make friends, even with those individuals I knew where not good for me, stayed with me well into life. Some might even argue that it is still with me, but whatevs. I'm one of those people that likes to talk to new people, or to those individuals standing alone in a crowd. If they look like they are in need for company, I will awkwardly find a way to make my way over and talk to them. I think I like to do this because whenever I'm in a new situation, standing by myself, I always wish someone would approach me to start a conversation. Especially if they are weird, because those usually end up being the best stories.

While in middle and high school, I had this habit of befriending the new kids in school. I would take the time to get to know them. Let them know how one survived in the Sheboygan school system. And then after a few months, they would cut me out of their circle to go and hangout with cooler kids. My family thought it was kind of funny,  dubbing me the "Stepping Stone" friend. People needed first to be friends with me, before moving on to the cooler crowd. Luckily for me, I never really cared that I was essentially "dumped" because I always had a loyal core group of friends, some that I still call my friends to this day.

Yes, it's almost like a plot to some horrible Dane Cook romantic comedy, except it is about friendships and not relationships.

Happy 4th of July Blogzilla!

This will be a fast one, as I am spending the day with my family on this Independence Day. This holiday ranks right up there with Christmas for my family. If I were to miss spending either day with my family, I should have a REALLY good reason for doing so. This day is special because everyone gets together, spends the day in the sun, plays yard games and eats a lot. Let's not forget the parades and fireworks.

Why do a bunch of Natives get together for a holiday that celebrates the independence of white Americans from white Brits? I will never know or understand. Perhaps Natives (or at least my family in particular) will look for any reason to get together and eat ourselves silly.

Usually this day is very cookie-cutter: Get up in the morning - parade - barbeque and games in my parents backyard - fireworks - fire pit in my parents backyard. However to change things up this year, my sister, her sister-in-law and I went down to the beach to watch their favorite local band, Sly Joe and the Smooth Operators play. I even participated in the drum circle as a honorary tambourine player. Look at me being adventurous.

We even brought our own "coffee" to drink, a tactic we learned from our Aunt Carol. Why pay for overpriced festival beer when you can have your own cup-of-"joe" USA! USA!

Happy 4th everyone!

July Blogathon Post #3 - Lesson Plans From High School - Sometimes I Actually Remember Them!

For the most part, I cannot remember the specifics of lessons plans from high school. Sometimes I wonder what exactly we did during those hours sitting in the classroom. Then I just resign to the fact that it was probably all all a waste of time since I cannot remember anything. Ok, I know this is not true. Obviously school had an impact. All the thing I learned are still with me. They are just so ingrained in me that I don't remember the specifics of HOW I learned the facts just that I know them. However, one particular lesson plan from my high school Philosophy class still sticks in my mind.

Our teacher had us watch the music video for Radiohead's "Just". Quick, if you've never seen it before, YouTube it! Are you back? Ok!

After watching the video, we had to discuss the reason the man was laying on the ground/what he said to the crowd/why the crowd lays on the ground after hearing what he said. I'm not too sure what the other classmates said, but I do remember what my high school sunshiney self said:

He said there is no meaning to life. We are on this earth for no reason but to merely exist, and then we are simply gone when we die. I wasn't trying to read his lips. I was mostly trying to think of what would be so devastating to hear, that it would render you motionless. I also didn't really read too much into all the lyrics, just the chorus. I interpreted it as saying when one trys to find meaning in life, it will only cause suffering. Because you find nothing. This is pain you end up inflicting on yourself.

Obviously the teacher wasn't grading on "right" or "wrong" answers, just that we actually put some thought behind our answers. Even though my philosophy on all topics during that class was dark, I think the teacher still appreciated my viewpoints, because I aced the course. It's still one of my favorites high school classes, and he is still one of my favorite teachers. What other teachers can say that students still think about their lesson plans more than 10 years later!  Good job guy!

July Blogaplooza - Post # 2 - My Disney idol...Please Someone Tell Me What That Means!

Almost every girl/woman, and even many boys/men, can tell you who is there favorite Disney Princess. It's hard not to get swept up in the Disney-mania . Even I, an admitted cynical person that doesn't believe in fairytale endings, am a sucker for a Disney movie. If asked for my favorite Disney PRINCESS, I will say that it is Belle (but I say begrudgingly so, because just admit it...girlfriend was being held captive by her fairytale prince...scary). However, there is a Disney character that I adore far and above Belle, and for those that know me the answer might now be that surprising...

URSULA!

She is just fabulous. There is a flamboyance about her that is not topped by any other character. She has a healthy self body image. The make-up is flawless. I also have this feeling that she was somehow wronged in the underworld empire. Does that make her follow-up actions validated? The vindictive part of me wants to say yes, but I know healthy-normal person answer is no. But of all of the Disney villains, she seems the least "wrong.:"  Ok, I will stop defending her now.

The number reason I love her so is because she has THE BEST Villain Song in Disney history (I would even argue THE BEST Disney song in history, but I don't want to start an up roar from Disney enthusiasts).

Now you can all put your analrapist hats on (Arrested Development joke...yay) and tell me why I idolize Ursula.  GO!

July Blog-a-Day Challenge - Post #1: Now That's What I Call a Mugging!

I have been irritating myself with my writing style as of late. At work I am finding that my emails, instructions, conference call minutes, etc. are all sub par. Once upon a time I actually considered myself a good writer whether it be technical or creative. Where did this once-upon-a-time go?

I read somewhere that a good way to practice is to write daily. What better way then to update this darn thing! So, I've challenged myself to write a blog post a day for the entire month of July. Let's see how this goes. My inaugural post will tell the story of my first legitimate mugging.

It occurred less than a week ago around 6 am in the morning (and remember 6 am in late June is day light time in Wisconsin). I typically go to the gym after work but realizing if I worked out in the morning before work, I could get more chores done after work (and by "more chores" I mean relax). This was day 3 of "morning workout." My wardrobe and belongings consisted of gym clothes, flip flops, hair messily braided, purse and gym bag). As I was leaving and locking my front door, I looked down the street and noticed three teenage boys casually walking headed my way. My first initial thought, "What the eff are those boys doing out at 6 o'clock in the morning?" After this fleeting thought I didn't pay them anymore attention.

I started walking toward them but at a slight angle because my car was across the street. Then just as they passed me and were out of my line of vision, I heard them rush me. Before I could turn around, one of them had grabbed my purse which was slung around my shoulder. I was knocked to the ground and dragged along with my purse. As soon as I was aware of what was happening, I started screaming for help and pulling my purse back. There was only one of them that was attempting to take my purse. The second one grabbed my gym bag which had fallen to the ground (and contained my work clothes, gym shoes, towel, blow dryer, make up and other toiletries) and went running with the third one (who didn't have any possessions) down the alley.

When the "purse stealing" teen was finally able to rip the purse off of me, he started running down the alley with his friends. I continued to scream while deciding not to run after him. The funny thing is, when he was about three running strides away from me he turned around and looked at me (letting me get a good look at his face...idiot), and then he looked at my purse. Almost as if he was second guessing himself (or perhaps to see if he had enough time to grab what he needed from the purse and leave me the rest). In the slight moment of confusion, I stopped screaming and just looked at him curiously wondering why he was being so idiotic. As soon as I stopped screaming, the kid just continued running with my purse.

After what felt like an eternity, but was probably only a few seconds, I finally got up and ran to my apartment door. Luckily I still had my car and apartment keys. I rang the doorbell hoping to get my neighbor to come outside, so I could stay near the scene or the crime. A person rode by on a bike shortly afterward but didn't have a cell phone, and didn't seem interested in helping out anyway. After finding no help outside, I ran upstairs to knock on my neighbors doors. He was able to call the police for me and also comforted me while I waited for them to arrive.

Once the police arrived, I was provided the details, which is way harder than I thought. How can you remember exactly how those boys looked when they essentially just bummed rushed you? I ended up saying, "I'm not sure," more than I care to admit. When they asked if I was injured, I looked down on my body and finally realized that I was indeed scratched and bruised from my fall and tug-of-war. I'm guessing because I was injured, it could be considered an assault, they took pictures. It was around 7:00 am and the police had already on there way to officially file the report.

Needless to say, I took the day off of work and spent the remainder of the day cancelling my credit cards, replacing my driver's license (ugly photo thanks to puffy eyes and no make up, yay!) and reporting my phone as stolen. (Side note: I found out I was due for an phone upgrade which meant could get my phone replaced right away without having to file a claim. Unfortunately because I didn't back up my information, I lost all of my contacts. Oh well, there were a few numbers in there I should of deleted a while ago).

By the time I got back to my apartment, and had my new phone in tow, I had received a phone call from my work. The Human Resources Director had received a call that my purse had been found a few blocks from my apartment and returned to the police department. They had my work number because of business cards left in my purse. When I went to pick up my purse, I found that the cash and my phone were officially taken. The thieves had left my wallet with my credit cards and driver's license. My gym bag remains missing! Oh yeah, and more pictures from the police department of me receiving the items back.

Upon returning from the police department, my landlord called to let me know they captured the mugging on camera (Another side note: due to a years ago shooting of said landlord/downstairs bar owner, the bar was installed with security cameras). The footage was going to be provided to the police. I got to see the footage before that happened. It of course made me cry. After seeing myself being flung to the ground so quickly, I'm surprised I didn't dislocate my shoulder. The entire event took about 10 seconds. Almost two minutes before I left, a few people walked by my apartment (including one of my neighbors), so this really could have happened to a number of people. I was just the "lucky" one. What was even more chilling, was that one of the teens was covering his face while he walked by as if he knew there was cameras. Which if true, means they know the area well and are probably neighbors.

And the following were reactions from everyone in my life - Mom: "When are you moving back to Sheboygan?", Old Boss: "Why didn't you call me?" (how very Mom-like of her), work's Vice President: "You know, there are other areas in Milwaukee to live." Friend: Gave me flowers and pepper spray. Everyone else: Utterance of some variant of a swear.

My reaction: Still shaken, still preferring to be inside all of the time but determined to not let it defeat me or the neighborhood.

In the meantime, I am still waiting for my replacement credit cards and driver's license. I am still running out of my apartment to my car, pepper spray in hand (when I absolutely need to leave) and in general, am extremely happy it wasn't any worse. Also the police officer that was first onsite was adorably cute. A small consolation to a horrific day.

An artist rendering of actual events:

Boy Band Confessions

While I was never a die hard fan of any particular boy band, I have to admit that I would, and still, sing along to their songs. And because I was, and am forever, in 12 year old girl mode, I had my favorite member of each boy band.  My favorite choices were always...interesting? Let's take a look:

 98 DEGREES

Nick Lachey, the obvious choice, always seemed like a d-bag to me.
I actually think my choice this was the most popular choice.
Did anyone else really like any other member?

N'SYNC

I was and am still unimpressed with Justin Timberlake.
My favorite, his last name is Fat One.  That is all.

BACKSTREET BOYS

This is the hardest to choose from, because I honestly
(even then) did not find any of them attractive.

BOYS II MEN

I like intellectuals. He has glasses, therefore he is smart.

NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK

Obviously I am into the bad boys. Just look at that beret. It screams "I'm tough"

 COLOR ME BADD

 

 

 

 

I like that he looked like a lion.

 

Creepy things to do when you're single - Holiday Edition

I should specify that these are mostly more couple-y/family oriented holidays. There is nothing specific you can do to creep people out as a single person on St. Patrick's Day or Halloween because those days are essentially built for single people to be creepy.

New Year's: When the clock is about to strike midnight, position yourself close to a couple that are strangers to you. As they start to engage in the traditional New Year's kiss, say/do one of the following:
A) Slow clap.
B) "Aw yeah!"
C) Save by the Bell "OooOOOoOooOOo" audience noise.

Valentine's Day: Buy yourself a heart shaped pizza for delivery. In the special instructions, ask for a pizza for one and instruct the delivery person to tell you how beautiful you look. Make sure to say that the tip will be increased if the delivery person can say it with sincerity and enthusiasm.

4th of July: Grab some champagne, or sparkling juice, chocolate covered strawberries, a blanket, and a giant teddy bear (or body pillow). Head to your nearby park/beach (wherever they shoot off the fireworks). Set everything up and cuddle the crap out of your "girl/boyfriend" as the fireworks go off. Creep factor only works if you are near large groups of people.

Thanksgiving: Put your dining room table next to the biggest window in your home. Set the table as fancy as can be. Open the curtains for the world to see. Buy yourself a turkey sub and eat that sucker at your table. Don't bother using any of the place settings and stare out the window all forlorn like.

Christmas: Gather your prized collection you have laying around the house. I, for example, have a Brewer Bobble head collection. Grab a camera, set it up to take a selfie, position yourself in the middle of your collection. BAM!  Christmas Card that says "From my family to yours."

My New Year's resolution is to do all of these items for 2013.