[whispery voice] confessions [/unwhispery voice] I am a lifelong horribly unphotogentic person.
One might think, by my self-deprecating sense of humor, that I think I'm ugly. Not true! I think I fall in the range of pleasantly normal. In the flesh, I don't get catcalls, but I don't get "Gah! What is that?" either. So I think I am winning overall. But pictures of me are something else.
As soon as a camera is pointed at my me, my face just contorts. My eyes widen to crazy person size (or just completely shut altogether). And my body seems to stiffen or just loses the ability to take a normal stance/position.
I once worked for an AmeriCorps program which posted pictures and a short bio of the volunteers on their webpage. The managers of the program decided to take pictures during one of our Friday training sessions. When it was my turn they kept on taking my picture over and over again ("Ok, smile this time." "Stop making that face!"). After a while they just gave up. The program did not post the pictures online that year...Correlation?
So, instead of explaining myself, I think I should let the pictures speak for themselves. A retrospective of a terrible photo subject (done in random order, because I can't remember exactly when these were taken)
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| From left to right, 1st to 5th...I think. The elementary school photos! Always a sure fire way to look your worst.
It conjures up memories of things your parents did to you, like give
you horrible perms or make you sleep in curlers. Or perhaps make you
wear the same outfit two years in a row (Mom, please note the first two!). It
started out pretty good though. | |
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| Not a child pothead, I promise! |
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| My best Steve Urkel impression |
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| Aspiring model to be |
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| Just don't smile. It will make it better. |
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| Awkward teen years. Who doesn't love them? |
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Key to lessen your impact of a bad picture?
Surround yourself by cute siblings
(I cut them out to show you the actual impact). |
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| Another way to lessen your impact? Just go with goofiness! |
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| Those glasses were a great idea! |
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| I decided to gain my Freshman 15 before I went to college |
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| Always happy on high school picture day (hiding inner rage) |
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| Clearly, I was not a brusher of my own hair. |
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So I asked my Mom for old photos of myself, for the purpose of this blog entry.
My mom saw me picking this one out and said,
"Ugh that picture!" |
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Purple pants and purple suspenders!
Fancy. |
And a palate cleanser that I actually think I look adorable. Sure I was oddly dressed, but I was forced to wear it!
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| Preschool Circus Show. |
3 comments:
In regard to the picture that looks like a mug shot , the one you stated I said, Ugh too..I laughed at that pic because I think that "Student of the month" picture looks nothing like you! You were an adorable child and you know there many pics that show that. BTW, I did find more pics in storage.
The circus pic is you Ian's age!
seriously fucking awesome. +17XP Hero of Hilarity points awarded
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