I hate going out to drink in Sheboygan. There is something about the chance of running into old classmates that makes me want to vomit. But I will go out if there is a special reason. And this past weekend there was two: My sister and brother-in-law actually going out for the first time in a long time and my friend Kim coming home from South Carolina.
Let me explain my friend Kim before I go on. She loves to start conversations with new and random people. Usually she will start with an oddball opening, or trying to convince the people that she is someone that she is not. A good example of this is her telling people that I am a ballerina.
So my mission for the night, was to try out Kim's new pick up line: "Excuse me, but I thought you would like to know that I have really nice fallopian tubes." Normally my reaction to this would be, "Fuck yeah Kim. There is no way I will do that." Unfortunately I am very susceptible to peer pressure, so with Kim, my sister and brother-in-law cheering me on, I spotted some non-threatening guy and decided to try it out. Here's how it went down:
Me: Excuse me guys, but I am going to say something to you and I just want your immediate reaction to it.
Guys: Ok. Go.
Me: Well, I have really nice fallopian tubes.
Guys: *Nervous laugh*
Guy A: No one has ever said that to me before. And I am kind of turned off right now.
Guy B: Besides, you wouldn't know how your fallopian tubes look like. I would know because my mom is a gynecologist.
*some random talking about guy b's mom being a gyno and other pick up lines*
Me: *after some awkward silence and staring at each other* Uhhhh..So, I don't know what else to say. Would you like to hear a joke?
Guys: Yes.
*I tell a dirty joke involving Cinderella and Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater.*
Me: *Immediately following the joke* Yeah! High Five! *I high five both of them*
Guys: *Laugh and look at each other like they think I'm weird*
Guy A: Ok, so what are you drinking because I'm buying?
Yeah...that's right. That line got me not only one free drink, but two.
12/01/2007
Reason #1234, Why I'd be a Horrible Mother
This past Thanksgiving weekend I was back home in Sheboygan with my family celebrating my little cousin's 4 year old birthday (isn't that crazy that I have cousins that are over 20 years younger than me?). Her 6ish year old brother tells all of us that he has a Ryan Braun baseball card.
I say to him, "Really? That's awesome! You have a Ryan Braun rookie card?" The surprising thing is I said it without a hint of sarcasm, because A) He's 6 and doesn't understand sarcasm and B) I actually really, really like Ryan Braun.
My cousin got all excited and ran over to me with his little box of baseball ball cards. He shuffles through them and shows me a Ryan Braun card. Just not the Milwaukee Brewer Ryan Braun.
Instead of saying, "Whoa, that's way awesome Brandon." I say, "That's not THE Ryan Braun!"
Right after I say this, I see his little face look so dejected and I feel like crap for not being nicer about it. I did ask him if he had any more cool cards, and he showed me a Corey Hart card. Still awesome, which I let him know.
To make up for it even more, I play Life with him and his older sister. Then comes Reason #1235 why I would be a horrible mother, the entire time I was playing I was thinking, "Come on, let's make this snappy. I got to get back to Milwaukee and get drunk."
I say to him, "Really? That's awesome! You have a Ryan Braun rookie card?" The surprising thing is I said it without a hint of sarcasm, because A) He's 6 and doesn't understand sarcasm and B) I actually really, really like Ryan Braun.
My cousin got all excited and ran over to me with his little box of baseball ball cards. He shuffles through them and shows me a Ryan Braun card. Just not the Milwaukee Brewer Ryan Braun.
Instead of saying, "Whoa, that's way awesome Brandon." I say, "That's not THE Ryan Braun!"
Right after I say this, I see his little face look so dejected and I feel like crap for not being nicer about it. I did ask him if he had any more cool cards, and he showed me a Corey Hart card. Still awesome, which I let him know.
To make up for it even more, I play Life with him and his older sister. Then comes Reason #1235 why I would be a horrible mother, the entire time I was playing I was thinking, "Come on, let's make this snappy. I got to get back to Milwaukee and get drunk."
11/21/2007
Rules of Riding the City Bus
I can't and don't want to drive to work. This is because parking on the street is out of the option (no room) and parking in the reserved structure would cost me nearly 60 bucks a month (on top of any parking I would pay for street/apartment parking). Plus I hate driving (even if it is a short distance). So instead of taking my companies discounted parking pass, I opted for taking the discounted bus pass (which I can use at anytime, even if it isn't work related).
When I was a kid, I took the bus every where. But riding the bus as a kid in a small city (with either of your parents with your) and riding as an adult female by herself in a city 10x the size of her hometown, are two entirely different kids. Here are the rules I have set for riding the bus in Milwaukee:
1. Have your money/pass ready upon entering the bus. Only doucebags hold up the bus by rummaging through their purse/bag/pockets for spare change.
2. If there are open benches, sit in an empty one as opposed to sitting right next to someone. This makes the person feel uncomfortable.
3. Wear earphones so that there is minimum interacting with other bus patrons. Also stare off to space and never make eye contact.
4. Don't sit in the handicap seats unless necessary. Also get your ass up if you see a senior citizen enter and there is no other sitting area. Your young legs can handle standing.
5. Be polite to the driver.
6. If bus is full, don't use the seat next to you for your bag, legs, hat etc. Allow someone to sit next to you. Once they are next to you, act as though they don't exist.
7. If person around you has distinct odor (ie. excess BO or cologne) act like you don't smell it. Its the polite thing to do.
To sum up. Be fast, efficient, polite and mind your own business.
Another quick story, while waiting for the bus one morning I witnessed a squirrel get run over by a car. It was surprisingly upsetting. I was shocked when I first saw it. I kind of looked like this:
OK. The story was true, but it was an excuse to post an adorable picture.
When I was a kid, I took the bus every where. But riding the bus as a kid in a small city (with either of your parents with your) and riding as an adult female by herself in a city 10x the size of her hometown, are two entirely different kids. Here are the rules I have set for riding the bus in Milwaukee:
1. Have your money/pass ready upon entering the bus. Only doucebags hold up the bus by rummaging through their purse/bag/pockets for spare change.
2. If there are open benches, sit in an empty one as opposed to sitting right next to someone. This makes the person feel uncomfortable.
3. Wear earphones so that there is minimum interacting with other bus patrons. Also stare off to space and never make eye contact.
4. Don't sit in the handicap seats unless necessary. Also get your ass up if you see a senior citizen enter and there is no other sitting area. Your young legs can handle standing.
5. Be polite to the driver.
6. If bus is full, don't use the seat next to you for your bag, legs, hat etc. Allow someone to sit next to you. Once they are next to you, act as though they don't exist.
7. If person around you has distinct odor (ie. excess BO or cologne) act like you don't smell it. Its the polite thing to do.
To sum up. Be fast, efficient, polite and mind your own business.
Another quick story, while waiting for the bus one morning I witnessed a squirrel get run over by a car. It was surprisingly upsetting. I was shocked when I first saw it. I kind of looked like this:
OK. The story was true, but it was an excuse to post an adorable picture.
11/11/2007
I'm Alive and Well
I'm also living Internet-less in Milwaukee. That's why I haven't written anything in here, and most likely won't again. At least not for awhile.
Things are going extraordinarily well. I have a tiny little efficiency on the east side. The job is going well. In fact two weekends ago I had my first business trip (to Worcester, MA) with the new job. I didn't really have to do much, because I was and am still learning but it was nice to see the process of the organization. Plus it was good bonding time with my co-workers and the software guys we work with. Let's just say there was a lot of talk about zombie movies, video games and other nerdy stuff. It was awesome.
You know what else is nice? Having a job and constant source of income.
I have nothing else of interest to say. Obviously being content with my life has made all the stories go away. Give it a few months (and easier access to the Internet) and I may be back with my complaining and hating.
Things are going extraordinarily well. I have a tiny little efficiency on the east side. The job is going well. In fact two weekends ago I had my first business trip (to Worcester, MA) with the new job. I didn't really have to do much, because I was and am still learning but it was nice to see the process of the organization. Plus it was good bonding time with my co-workers and the software guys we work with. Let's just say there was a lot of talk about zombie movies, video games and other nerdy stuff. It was awesome.
You know what else is nice? Having a job and constant source of income.
I have nothing else of interest to say. Obviously being content with my life has made all the stories go away. Give it a few months (and easier access to the Internet) and I may be back with my complaining and hating.
10/01/2007
Yeah, that's right...trust me with your 4-month old daughter...for an entire weekend!
My sister and her husband went on their one-year anniversary weekend get-away. They asked me to watch their daughter Lainie (since I live with them, and they didn't want her to be in a different environment). As it turned out, I didn't even really have to watch her by myself for that long.
I was suppose to start Friday after work. However I got a call from my brother Thursday night asking me to go to the Brewer's game with him on Friday night. I love me some Brewer's, so once I found out my mom was watching the baby, I said sure.
Here's the summary of the game. The Bratwurst won:
A girl wore socks with sandals:
I got myself my first Brewer's Bobblehead. Don Money:
The Brewer's lost, thus closing any chance at the playoffs:
It's ok Andy, they are a young team, there is always next year.
By the time I got home, Lainie was already asleep. My parents left, I turned on the monitor and went to sleep at around midnight. Lainie woke up at 6am, I played with her like a dazed, sleepless zombie and she was back down for her routine nap at 8:30am. So what did that mean for me? Naptime! Both of us got woken up by my parents who came to get us ready and take us to the Brewer's game (once again)! This was Lainie's first Brewer's game, so we got her dressed to impress:
Of course everyone thought she looked like a boy. As I was walking with her up the stairs, a man said, "Aw looks. He's going to be quite the slugger." I responded with, "Yes. Yes, SHE is."
So, our seats weren't the best. And by not he best, I mean were were in the last row we could possibly be in. But we still had fun:
Mostly we had fun because the Brewer's won, thus sealing a winning season. Hey, beggars can't be choosers. Oh, and the Italian Sausage won, no picture for this one.
That night, my parents stayed until Lainie fell asleep (it was my turn to do it this time). We all marveled at how well behaved she was the whole weekend. My parents left around 10, and I went to sleep shortly afterward. I woke up at around midnight to Lainie crying. As I walked down the hallway, I noticed that the door was open. My sister's cat, Iggy, had knocked open the door. When I walked into the room, I saw Iggy trying hard to cuddle up to Lainie, and she not taking any of it. Not only is Iggy a cuddle slut:
but he adores Lainie. I yelled at him, she got out, I soothed Lainie back to sleep.
Because she doesn't understand sleeping in on the weekends, she got up at 6 once again on Sunday. I groggily talked and played with her. This time she didn't take a nap (she was about to, until her mommy awoke her with a phone call informing me that she was coming home). When her parents came home, I stayed up long enough to inform them of her (and my) weekend and watch Brett Favre get his record breaking touchdown pass, before I passed out myself.
Overall, exhausting weekend, and I am still sure that I don't want kids (I like my sleep WAAAAAY too much). It was too hard, and I barely even really watched her. I'll just adore my niece and all future nieces and nephews:
9/14/2007
I Got an Extra Bounce In My Step!
Normally I hate the start of fall. The sky gets greyer, the weather colder, its the same season that my grandma passed away. In general, its the time I start to get sad and gloomy, but suprisingly, I am not even close to that. Nothing is keeping me down from this high I'm on. I don't know what it is, besides starting a new job, but I am just so happy with my life right now.
I think the ultimate test was yesterday. It was "Date Night" in Sheboygan Falls. Couples were walking around downtown, going to bars, getting carriage rides, holding hands. Normally this would have me buh-hum-bugging all day. But, to my surprise, it actually made me smile...even more than I already was! I'm like the Grinch, and my heart is growing three sizes too big.
I catch myself doing a tiny happy dance while I'm standing in place (of course not when other people are looking, I don't want to embarrass myself). I just feel like squeeling, "WEEEEEEE."
BTW: I Google Imaged the term "happy dance" and found this from this website
Yeah...that's how I feel.
I think the ultimate test was yesterday. It was "Date Night" in Sheboygan Falls. Couples were walking around downtown, going to bars, getting carriage rides, holding hands. Normally this would have me buh-hum-bugging all day. But, to my surprise, it actually made me smile...even more than I already was! I'm like the Grinch, and my heart is growing three sizes too big.
I catch myself doing a tiny happy dance while I'm standing in place (of course not when other people are looking, I don't want to embarrass myself). I just feel like squeeling, "WEEEEEEE."
BTW: I Google Imaged the term "happy dance" and found this from this website
Yeah...that's how I feel.
9/09/2007
I Think I Have Another Movie to Add to My Favorites List
My sister told me that she was watching Little Manhattan on one of the several different movie channel she has, and that she liked it a lot. She told me that I should watch it too, that I would like it. When she told me the plot, kid is experiencing his parent's divorce and falling in love with a girl at the same time, and I thought it didn't sound that great or interesting.
So, I was wrong. It was one of the most sweetly innocent and funny movies I have seen in a while. I spent about 75% of the movie either giggling or going "awww" without going on a sweetness overload.
I may be going out on a limb here, but I am thinking that it is even sweeter than Amelie (not saying that it is better though). If you haven't seen it yet, you should.
9/08/2007
The New Job Experience...So Far
Well, I just finished my first full week at my new job. The first day I went into work, I was feeling really insecure and nervous, almost as if I was waiting for them to say that they made a terrible mistake in hiring and that they would have to let me go.
I felt I even didn't belong based on my appearance either. I don't own that many business-casual clothes because at my last job, I could essentially wear what I wanted (and was encouraged to do so because it made the residents more at ease with me). All the women my age that work in my building look much better dressed than me, and look like they take more than my usual 10 minutes to get ready. Maybe I should try this make-up and hair brushing thing.
A lot of my job duties include daily administrative assistant stuff. But the most exciting thing is that I get to travel and partake in meetings with doctors/psychologist/nurses/etc. It makes me feel like such a grown-up. My first trip (to Massachusetts) is apparently already coming up in late October.
My co-workers are kinda different than my old co-workers. Before I worked with mostly African American women, now I am working with mostly White men. Luckily, my new co-workers seem that they are going to be just as nice as my last co-workers (they are really helpful and patient in my never-ending question sessions).
Overall, the organization and its mission is quite different from what I have done in the past but it is still fascinating to me. Its refreshing to be trying something new. I will be busy and occupied all the time. Learning a lot about the behavioral medicine field and meeting planning/society management. The position also leads to the high possibility of upward mobility in the company, so things are looking up for me.
Now, I am just counting down the days until I can move back to Milwaukee. This commute is killing me. Lucky for me, not much can bring me down from this personal high.
I felt I even didn't belong based on my appearance either. I don't own that many business-casual clothes because at my last job, I could essentially wear what I wanted (and was encouraged to do so because it made the residents more at ease with me). All the women my age that work in my building look much better dressed than me, and look like they take more than my usual 10 minutes to get ready. Maybe I should try this make-up and hair brushing thing.
A lot of my job duties include daily administrative assistant stuff. But the most exciting thing is that I get to travel and partake in meetings with doctors/psychologist/nurses/etc. It makes me feel like such a grown-up. My first trip (to Massachusetts) is apparently already coming up in late October.
My co-workers are kinda different than my old co-workers. Before I worked with mostly African American women, now I am working with mostly White men. Luckily, my new co-workers seem that they are going to be just as nice as my last co-workers (they are really helpful and patient in my never-ending question sessions).
Overall, the organization and its mission is quite different from what I have done in the past but it is still fascinating to me. Its refreshing to be trying something new. I will be busy and occupied all the time. Learning a lot about the behavioral medicine field and meeting planning/society management. The position also leads to the high possibility of upward mobility in the company, so things are looking up for me.
Now, I am just counting down the days until I can move back to Milwaukee. This commute is killing me. Lucky for me, not much can bring me down from this personal high.
You know what they should make???
That is, if they haven't made it already.
...Body pillows built with life-like arms...
Don't think I am weird. I have actually had conversations with a friend about this. Granted, me and the friend I had the conversation with, always end up talking about random things, but I think it is completely reasonable.
What is the purpose of a body pillow? One purpose is that it provides support for hips/back (or bellies, if you are pregnant). Another reason people use body pillows, is to have something to cuddle with. (Totally random, but I hate ending sentences with prepositions, but I am not smart enough to know how to re-word that). But when you are selfish like me, you don't like to be the spoon-er (which you are essentially doing with body pillows)you want to be the spoon-ee. That is when the body pillow with life-like arms. The arms would wrap around you be soft enough to cuddle with. Seems like a good product idea, right?
Or maybe, I'm just sleep deprived.
...Body pillows built with life-like arms...
Don't think I am weird. I have actually had conversations with a friend about this. Granted, me and the friend I had the conversation with, always end up talking about random things, but I think it is completely reasonable.
What is the purpose of a body pillow? One purpose is that it provides support for hips/back (or bellies, if you are pregnant). Another reason people use body pillows, is to have something to cuddle with. (Totally random, but I hate ending sentences with prepositions, but I am not smart enough to know how to re-word that). But when you are selfish like me, you don't like to be the spoon-er (which you are essentially doing with body pillows)you want to be the spoon-ee. That is when the body pillow with life-like arms. The arms would wrap around you be soft enough to cuddle with. Seems like a good product idea, right?
Or maybe, I'm just sleep deprived.
8/27/2007
I...think I...like The Departed?
Ok, so just seeing the previews for The Departed a year or so back, I totally wrote it off as a stupid crime thriller. Today I walked into my sister watching the movie. She was about 30 minutes into it and told me what had happened so far, and it actually seemed a lot more complex and interesting than I first presumed. So many lies and betrayals, it's like a straight man's soap opera (well, after professional wrestling, I should say).
However, because I started watching it 30 minutes in, and because so many people were revealed as "rats" (also, I wasn't really paying attention to names or faces of the minor characters) I ended up being a little confused at the end. Which is weird because it doesn't seem like a confusing movie. I wasn't confused by Usual Suspects, which so many people thought was confusing. If I re-watched it from the beginning, I think I would appreciate it more.
So, when The Departed won the Oscar for Best Motion Picture, I didn't get it. Now, I can kind of sort of get it. Kudos Scorsese.
However, because I started watching it 30 minutes in, and because so many people were revealed as "rats" (also, I wasn't really paying attention to names or faces of the minor characters) I ended up being a little confused at the end. Which is weird because it doesn't seem like a confusing movie. I wasn't confused by Usual Suspects, which so many people thought was confusing. If I re-watched it from the beginning, I think I would appreciate it more.
So, when The Departed won the Oscar for Best Motion Picture, I didn't get it. Now, I can kind of sort of get it. Kudos Scorsese.
8/24/2007
Woot!
Today I accepted a job offer. I shall be working in Milwaukee once again. I am very happy but stressed once again. Should I just commute for awhile? Should I quickly find a place to live? How will transporation work for me? What about parking (I'm working downtown Milwaukee)? But I am trying not to let the stress of all the minor details get me down. Right now I am all about the new job glee (money money money).
Since I am working downtown Milwaukee, it means that the job is much fancier than my last job. Which means I have to buy new clothes, because I don't own much office wear. My old job was more of a casual "hey-don't-mind-me-I'm-one-of-you" feel to it. The office I am working in is way fancy. And I shall have a way fancy view of the Milwaukee skyline. I know that in a few months I won't be saying it, but right now I am only saying....YIPPEEE!
This week I also chopped off my hair. It is about 12 inches shorter. I felt that there was so much change and chaos happening in my life, it was time to start a new. The day after my hair cut, I got the job offer! It's like good luck. The bad thing about the cut is that I am not feeling it. It has this weird ability to make me look like a 40-year-old soccer mom and a 5-year-old school girl...all at the same time. The good thing about it is that it dries faster, and since I am not a huge fan of brushing my hair, I don't get nasty snarly hair or rat's nests.
Lastly, this weekend my little brother is getting married. The youngins grow so fast!
Ah, it's a sunshine day!
Since I am working downtown Milwaukee, it means that the job is much fancier than my last job. Which means I have to buy new clothes, because I don't own much office wear. My old job was more of a casual "hey-don't-mind-me-I'm-one-of-you" feel to it. The office I am working in is way fancy. And I shall have a way fancy view of the Milwaukee skyline. I know that in a few months I won't be saying it, but right now I am only saying....YIPPEEE!
This week I also chopped off my hair. It is about 12 inches shorter. I felt that there was so much change and chaos happening in my life, it was time to start a new. The day after my hair cut, I got the job offer! It's like good luck. The bad thing about the cut is that I am not feeling it. It has this weird ability to make me look like a 40-year-old soccer mom and a 5-year-old school girl...all at the same time. The good thing about it is that it dries faster, and since I am not a huge fan of brushing my hair, I don't get nasty snarly hair or rat's nests.
Lastly, this weekend my little brother is getting married. The youngins grow so fast!
Ah, it's a sunshine day!
8/17/2007
This be my life for now
So it's official, and has been for four days now. I no longer reside in Milwaukee. I am now living with my sister in Sheboygan Falls, like a true bum do. When the person that came in to see my apartment wanted to move in early, I was told that I would be refunded for half of August rent. So I was all like, "Money? Sweet! Will do." So I totally used and abused my family by telling them that they had to move me out by the 13th. Now all my possessions are either in my sister's basement or in her office (which is now acting as my bedroom/her office).
I figured that my future is all up in the air right now, it was best to find a place that was "rent free" (I am paying her to let me stay, but a small amount) so that I could save up money and find work without having to worry about finding extra cash for a security deposit/first month rent for a new place in Milwaukee. So this is not a permanent move. Ideally, I will be back in Milwaukee within a year, at the max. But even then, Sheboygan, and its surrounding areas, have their way of getting their evil claws in you. If I follow trend, I will end up knocked up within the year.
Oddly enough, and not so odd as this type of crap always happens to me, the very next day after my move to Sheboygan Falls, I got a call from a job I applied for in Milwaukee. They wanted me to come in for an interview. My brother-in-law (who did all of the major physical move) just kind of rolled his eyes and responded with, "Oh great. If you get this does this mean we will have to move you in somewhere in Milwaukee by the first?" This of course made me feel really guilty to even go in for the interview, but I did any way, of course.
The interview went really well, at least that is my hopeful thoughts on it. The executive director seemed to be almost guiding me into the "right" answers. The building was located downtown on the 11th floor of a big building, so it felt way fancier than my last job. I like to think I charmed the pants off of those interviewers. We'll see how it turns out. As one of my college mentors said to me, "High hopes, low expectations!" or...was it the other way round?
As for now, I continue my job search (expanding it to the Sheboygan area) and enjoy the time with my family. I am especially enjoying the time with my 3 month old niece. I like to have conversations with her, about when the time comes that I shall be watching her, there shall be no crying or fussing. Or as I simply told her, "There is no crying on Auntie Hollie time." Her response is to stare at me and drool (and every once in a while add a "Guuuuurrrrcccchhllll").
Lastly, if you haven't already, go see Superbad. It is hilarious. If CM hasn't already called dibs, Michael Cera would totally be my pretend boyfriend.
I figured that my future is all up in the air right now, it was best to find a place that was "rent free" (I am paying her to let me stay, but a small amount) so that I could save up money and find work without having to worry about finding extra cash for a security deposit/first month rent for a new place in Milwaukee. So this is not a permanent move. Ideally, I will be back in Milwaukee within a year, at the max. But even then, Sheboygan, and its surrounding areas, have their way of getting their evil claws in you. If I follow trend, I will end up knocked up within the year.
Oddly enough, and not so odd as this type of crap always happens to me, the very next day after my move to Sheboygan Falls, I got a call from a job I applied for in Milwaukee. They wanted me to come in for an interview. My brother-in-law (who did all of the major physical move) just kind of rolled his eyes and responded with, "Oh great. If you get this does this mean we will have to move you in somewhere in Milwaukee by the first?" This of course made me feel really guilty to even go in for the interview, but I did any way, of course.
The interview went really well, at least that is my hopeful thoughts on it. The executive director seemed to be almost guiding me into the "right" answers. The building was located downtown on the 11th floor of a big building, so it felt way fancier than my last job. I like to think I charmed the pants off of those interviewers. We'll see how it turns out. As one of my college mentors said to me, "High hopes, low expectations!" or...was it the other way round?
As for now, I continue my job search (expanding it to the Sheboygan area) and enjoy the time with my family. I am especially enjoying the time with my 3 month old niece. I like to have conversations with her, about when the time comes that I shall be watching her, there shall be no crying or fussing. Or as I simply told her, "There is no crying on Auntie Hollie time." Her response is to stare at me and drool (and every once in a while add a "Guuuuurrrrcccchhllll").
Lastly, if you haven't already, go see Superbad. It is hilarious. If CM hasn't already called dibs, Michael Cera would totally be my pretend boyfriend.
8/07/2007
Who has been having some bad luck lately? Oh yeah, that would be me.
I'll admit, some of the "bad luck" has been partially my fault (not giving ample notice to my landlord that I was moving thus ending in me paying for September rent plus 10% increase) but everything else has been just bad situation after another bad situation.
First I lose my job, two months before my lease for my apartment ends. Horrible timing for job and apartment hunting (both which are sucking...a lot).
Getting denied weeks of unemployment, for mistakes on my old job's part.
Getting big bill one after the other.
And now my car. The brakes have decided to stop working today. Tomorrow I had two appointments which were basically one after the other at different points in Milwaukee. I won't be able to get my car back until the day after tomorrow (with a hefty bill, may I add). So I have to cancel one of them and take the bus to the other appointment.
And as I write this, I have someone looking at my apartment and wondering if I could leave earlier. I'm so desperate for someone to rent it out, that I said I would think about it.
All these things are not horrible, just extremely inconvenient. Don't worry, I am just waiting for the day that I am told I have some incurable disease.
First I lose my job, two months before my lease for my apartment ends. Horrible timing for job and apartment hunting (both which are sucking...a lot).
Getting denied weeks of unemployment, for mistakes on my old job's part.
Getting big bill one after the other.
And now my car. The brakes have decided to stop working today. Tomorrow I had two appointments which were basically one after the other at different points in Milwaukee. I won't be able to get my car back until the day after tomorrow (with a hefty bill, may I add). So I have to cancel one of them and take the bus to the other appointment.
And as I write this, I have someone looking at my apartment and wondering if I could leave earlier. I'm so desperate for someone to rent it out, that I said I would think about it.
All these things are not horrible, just extremely inconvenient. Don't worry, I am just waiting for the day that I am told I have some incurable disease.
8/01/2007
Brewer's Baseball Basics for Women
This is an actually class that is being taught in Milwaukee. My head hangs in shame. "For Women?" Please. It should not be limited to just women. I know a few idiot men who don't get baseball either. But from the description of the class, it seems pretty sweet. Perhaps I shall play dumb and join the class.
"Um, what do you call it when that person with the bat hits that white thing up in the air, and it only stays in the brown sand area...you know like it doesn't go further out to the green area...what happens then? I know its called something because my big bo-hunky boyfriend that knows everything about sports always has to remind me of that rule. That guy with the bat gets, like, a touchdown right?"
At least the person teaching the class is a woman. The title of the class still sounds demeaning.
"Um, what do you call it when that person with the bat hits that white thing up in the air, and it only stays in the brown sand area...you know like it doesn't go further out to the green area...what happens then? I know its called something because my big bo-hunky boyfriend that knows everything about sports always has to remind me of that rule. That guy with the bat gets, like, a touchdown right?"
At least the person teaching the class is a woman. The title of the class still sounds demeaning.
7/31/2007
Purging and strong handshakes
So I gave my apartment's on-site manager my notice that I would be moving. A few days later he told me that he would be bringing people in to view my apartment. Upon hearing this I let out a silent yelp and began my race to clean my place and make it look presentable. The activities included massive scrub down of my entire bathroom, kitchen floor, oven/stove-top and refrigerator, vacuuming, dusting, and cleaning out my closets.
While cleaning and organizing my closets, I decided that now was the best time to get rid of stuff I don't wear or don't need anymore. In Public Allies we were told that it was good to go through your possessions and get rid of those things you no longer need. "Purge" yourself of the "dead weight." Other examples of purging dead weight included deleting people from your cell phone/e-mail lists, eliminating activities that are unnecessary. I find it hard for me to purge. I am more of a binge person(aka pack rat).
I ended up giving four pretty big shopping bags full of clothes and shoes (I haven't started going through other belongings yet). I don't feel like I have gotten rid of dead weight. In fact I am already feeling a little nostalgic of my long-ago belongings.
So after that was over, I waited for the three potential tenants to come (I could've left to go somewhere else, as not to be intrusive, but I had this weird fascination to see who could potentially rent out my apartment). Two of the people didn't show up, but one did. When he came in with the on-site manager, he looked a little surprised to see someone inside. He greeted me warmly and shook my hand firmly. It took every effort I had not to make the yaaah-owwww!!!! face.
He seemed semi to somewhat interested in the apartment. I talked it up. Told him how quiet it was, how I never had problems with my car being parked outside, how there was a police substation down the street and a bunch of older college students living around so it was mellow. He seemed to appreciate my input and even went in for a handshake goodbye. I tentatively gave my hand with a grimace. He should have known better, I am a delicate flower.
While cleaning and organizing my closets, I decided that now was the best time to get rid of stuff I don't wear or don't need anymore. In Public Allies we were told that it was good to go through your possessions and get rid of those things you no longer need. "Purge" yourself of the "dead weight." Other examples of purging dead weight included deleting people from your cell phone/e-mail lists, eliminating activities that are unnecessary. I find it hard for me to purge. I am more of a binge person(aka pack rat).
I ended up giving four pretty big shopping bags full of clothes and shoes (I haven't started going through other belongings yet). I don't feel like I have gotten rid of dead weight. In fact I am already feeling a little nostalgic of my long-ago belongings.
So after that was over, I waited for the three potential tenants to come (I could've left to go somewhere else, as not to be intrusive, but I had this weird fascination to see who could potentially rent out my apartment). Two of the people didn't show up, but one did. When he came in with the on-site manager, he looked a little surprised to see someone inside. He greeted me warmly and shook my hand firmly. It took every effort I had not to make the yaaah-owwww!!!! face.
He seemed semi to somewhat interested in the apartment. I talked it up. Told him how quiet it was, how I never had problems with my car being parked outside, how there was a police substation down the street and a bunch of older college students living around so it was mellow. He seemed to appreciate my input and even went in for a handshake goodbye. I tentatively gave my hand with a grimace. He should have known better, I am a delicate flower.
7/28/2007
If you are anything like me...
not only will you get this song stuck in your head for the rest of the day, but you will like it too.
You'lll probably have to watch this more than once
At first I was bored, and then I laughed and watched it again.
7/24/2007
Thoughts while watching the YouTube Democratic Presidential Canidate Debate
Wow...Bill Richardson looks like that guy from Amelie (whose name is Urbain Cancelier, he played the part of Collignon, the mean market guy):
And that is pretty much it. I didn't have any other thoughts. At least nothing interesting.
And that is pretty much it. I didn't have any other thoughts. At least nothing interesting.
7/18/2007
Hmm, this doesn't remind me of anyone in particular...
You can click on it to expand it. This is today's Fart Party. This may be how I interact with my friends. I'm really good at keeping in contact with people.
7/14/2007
Still Swimming and Looking for a Job
So I have received my first unemployment check in the mail yesterday. As a child, I never thought that I would ever say that. My future seemed so idealized as a kid. I didn't really know what I wanted to do as a child, but I knew no matter what I ended up doing, that I would be super successful. I wish I could go back to my childhood and still believe that.
When I am not being gloomy about my situation, job hunting, cover letter writing etc. I like to find ways to keep me busy. CM has introduced me to a Firefox application called Stumbled Upon. It introduces you to a bunch of random sites that are time wasters. Such as this: Bubble Wrap!
Good Times.
When I am not being gloomy about my situation, job hunting, cover letter writing etc. I like to find ways to keep me busy. CM has introduced me to a Firefox application called Stumbled Upon. It introduces you to a bunch of random sites that are time wasters. Such as this: Bubble Wrap!
Good Times.
7/12/2007
7/11/2007
Sometimes I want to Crush Heads.
Come on. Please tell me that you did not do the Kids in the Hall Head Crusher routine. "I'm crushing your head. Crush, crush."
7/02/2007
"I love you more that hamburger cheese store."
This was a quote was stated many times by my brother Andy when he was little. Lately my mom has been saying it to my sister's baby. I love her more than hamburger cheese store too.
Today was my first official day unemployed. I hate it. What am I going to do that I cannot even stand being one day without work? Halfway through my day I decided to come early to my parents house to celebrate the Fourth of July. I get antsy easily.
While spending some quality time with my family tonight, I read some Pop-Trivial Pursuit questions to my brothers and dad. My brother Michael gave some unintentionally and intentionally funny answers.
Q: What Dallas star was the only actor to win an Emmy award?
A: Deion Sanders. (He wasn't joking here)
Q: What was the name of the diet book written by (some author I forgot) that used recipes consisting of pineapple, mangoes (some other tropical fruit)?
A: Who has to go poop? (He was joking here)
My family makes me laugh.
Today was my first official day unemployed. I hate it. What am I going to do that I cannot even stand being one day without work? Halfway through my day I decided to come early to my parents house to celebrate the Fourth of July. I get antsy easily.
While spending some quality time with my family tonight, I read some Pop-Trivial Pursuit questions to my brothers and dad. My brother Michael gave some unintentionally and intentionally funny answers.
Q: What Dallas star was the only actor to win an Emmy award?
A: Deion Sanders. (He wasn't joking here)
Q: What was the name of the diet book written by (some author I forgot) that used recipes consisting of pineapple, mangoes (some other tropical fruit)?
A: Who has to go poop? (He was joking here)
My family makes me laugh.
6/29/2007
My niece looks like...
Me. Here is a picture of her, and a picture of me as a baby inside it:
But I have also realized that she looks like Mac from Mac and Me:
So does that mean?:
I can see it.
But I have also realized that she looks like Mac from Mac and Me:
So does that mean?:
I can see it.
6/27/2007
How did I never see this article before?
50 Greatest Conservative Rock Songs
This list is some funny stuff. I really like the author's explanations on song choices. I wish I could be creative enough to come up with this kind of stuff.
The number one choice being "Won't Get Fooled Again" is hilarious to me. I always took it as a song that was anti-leader because all structures (liberal AND conservatives) are corrupt. In reality, the song is fatalistic. Anyone in power, is bound to be corrupt.
Other hilarious additions:
"Sweet Home Alabama," A song promoting Wallace, can be all yours.
"Wouldn't It Be Nice,"
"Janie's Got a Gun,"
Creed? Ew.
"Godzilla"
And where oh where is the Toby Keith song about putting a boot in someone or other's buttocks?
Seriously, just read the article for an example of poor journalism. I seriously wish I found this earlier.
This list is some funny stuff. I really like the author's explanations on song choices. I wish I could be creative enough to come up with this kind of stuff.
The number one choice being "Won't Get Fooled Again" is hilarious to me. I always took it as a song that was anti-leader because all structures (liberal AND conservatives) are corrupt. In reality, the song is fatalistic. Anyone in power, is bound to be corrupt.
Other hilarious additions:
"Sweet Home Alabama," A song promoting Wallace, can be all yours.
"Wouldn't It Be Nice,"
"Janie's Got a Gun,"
Creed? Ew.
"Godzilla"
And where oh where is the Toby Keith song about putting a boot in someone or other's buttocks?
Seriously, just read the article for an example of poor journalism. I seriously wish I found this earlier.
6/25/2007
6/22/2007
"How you doing sweetheart?"
Normally I hate it when I am called sweetheart/baby/honey etc. by anybody, especially someone I don't even know. It makes me want to punch some faces. Maybe I took one too many woman studies classes/read too many feminist books, but I find those terms demeaning. I even tell my dad not to use those words on young women, even though he thinks it is a nice, personable thing to say. I just tell him, "No."
However, there is one person (outside friends and family) that I allow to call me sweetheart. That is "J", a tenant at my workplace. He is a young man with cognitive disabilities. Very sweet. He is one of a few tenants that automatically says hello and starts conversations with me, without getting accusatory or defensive. Yesterday he made my already good day. Here was our short conversation:
*Me walking towards my car. "J" and his mother walking to their apartment.*
J spots me: How you doing sweetheart?
Me: Good. How about you?
J: Good...You look real pretty today.
Me stopping: Aw. Thanks a lot.
I always need positive reinforcement, especially when it comes to my looks. The day was even made better, as when I got home I got my first call back for a job interview. Holler! Its always the "little" things that make me happy/excited.
However, there is one person (outside friends and family) that I allow to call me sweetheart. That is "J", a tenant at my workplace. He is a young man with cognitive disabilities. Very sweet. He is one of a few tenants that automatically says hello and starts conversations with me, without getting accusatory or defensive. Yesterday he made my already good day. Here was our short conversation:
*Me walking towards my car. "J" and his mother walking to their apartment.*
J spots me: How you doing sweetheart?
Me: Good. How about you?
J: Good...You look real pretty today.
Me stopping: Aw. Thanks a lot.
I always need positive reinforcement, especially when it comes to my looks. The day was even made better, as when I got home I got my first call back for a job interview. Holler! Its always the "little" things that make me happy/excited.
6/20/2007
A Bush Veto? You don't say!
Bush vetoed the stem cell bill. What a surprise. Almost as surprising as him vetoing the Iraq withdrawal bill. Or the first time he vetoed a stem cell bill. I don't know why these stories even made the news, as it is more of a "duh" move on his part.
Speaking of the lame duck, some people have made their own music video for Nine Inch Nail's Capital G, using images of Dubya. Trent Reznor has gone on record saying that the subject about the song is actually greed. It could be applied to the president, but that wasn't the intent. Greed and the president seem to go hand in hand, so same difference.
Speaking of the lame duck, some people have made their own music video for Nine Inch Nail's Capital G, using images of Dubya. Trent Reznor has gone on record saying that the subject about the song is actually greed. It could be applied to the president, but that wasn't the intent. Greed and the president seem to go hand in hand, so same difference.
Well I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Traded in my god for this war
He signs his name with a capital G
6/19/2007
How I Feel About My Current Job/Money Situation
Of Which There Is None at This Alleged "Bar"
via Overheard in New York, Jun 18, 2007
I was talking to a friend about that. I believe my exact words were, "I know this sounds horrible, but I am kind of pissed that I won't be having extra beer money."
But in all seriousness, today I am feeling really positive. I mean, I haven't gotten any returned phone calls or emails, but I'm in a good mood today. Like, I almost feel something good is coming my way. (As my mom told me, "You should buy a lottery ticket, with all the bad luck you have been having lately, something good is bound to happen.") People in my life and around me have been very upbeat and positive (not only about their own lives and situations but about mine as well---which is the most important part!!!) for the most part anyway. Maybe I am more of an extrovert than I first initially thought. Other people's energy and mood totally does effect my mood and energy.
Or maybe its because I heard Modest Mouse's Float On this morning, and I thought, "You know what, Isaac? I WILL Float On! Thanks for reminding me with you lispy song."
Or maybe its just the weather. The humidity has dropped a lot. It doesn't feel like I am walking through a sauna and its sunny, and not raining. Yes, its a good day!
Technician: It will cost a hundred and fifty dollars to have our technicians look at it.
Girl with computer problem: A hundred and fifty dollars?! No way. I'd rather spend that on alcohol.
--Apple Store Genius Bar
Overheard by: becca
via Overheard in New York, Jun 18, 2007
I was talking to a friend about that. I believe my exact words were, "I know this sounds horrible, but I am kind of pissed that I won't be having extra beer money."
But in all seriousness, today I am feeling really positive. I mean, I haven't gotten any returned phone calls or emails, but I'm in a good mood today. Like, I almost feel something good is coming my way. (As my mom told me, "You should buy a lottery ticket, with all the bad luck you have been having lately, something good is bound to happen.") People in my life and around me have been very upbeat and positive (not only about their own lives and situations but about mine as well---which is the most important part!!!) for the most part anyway. Maybe I am more of an extrovert than I first initially thought. Other people's energy and mood totally does effect my mood and energy.
Or maybe its because I heard Modest Mouse's Float On this morning, and I thought, "You know what, Isaac? I WILL Float On! Thanks for reminding me with you lispy song."
Or maybe its just the weather. The humidity has dropped a lot. It doesn't feel like I am walking through a sauna and its sunny, and not raining. Yes, its a good day!
6/18/2007
Random Movie of the 80's that I think I remember liking
Big Business starring Lily Tomlin and Bette Midler. The two lead actors play a set of twins mismatched at birth who run into each other during a business deal having to do with the rural/poor set of twins' hometown. Hilarity ensues.
The last time I watched this movie was probably in the 80's, but I remember liking it. Granted, I was no more than 8 at the time, but still. How can one go wrong with Bette Midler as an actress? Maybe its just my inner gay man speaking, but...Ruthless People? Yes. Outrageous Fortune? Uh huh. Hocus Pocus? Yup. And Beaches may have made me cry...but I'm not fully admitting that.
6/14/2007
Whoa! What?
Do me a favor and read this article. I don't know how anyone could do that except in the situation of forced physical advances. But rejected advances? Dude, just walk away and think, "His loss." And also, I am not one to question peoples sexual "perversions" but trying to swallow it? Um, ew. People are screwed up in the head.
6/13/2007
Whatever Happened to Marueen Flannigan?
You know, the girl that played Evie on "Out of this World." Well apparently, she is still acting on a bunch of shows. You know, those shows that every working actor in Hollywood is on. Oh well, at least she's doing something.
"Out of this World," was one of my favorite shows. I really don't know why it was, take a look at the plot description from wikipedia:
The series revolves around Evie Garland, a young girl living in Marlowe, California, who discovers on her thirteenth birthday that her father isn't a secret agent, as her mother had always told her. In fact, her father is an alien named Troy, from the planet Anterias, who married her mother and "merged lifeforms" to create Evie. Evie's half-alien heritage allows her to use supernatural abilities, which her father can give and take away at will. Most of the episodes revolve around Evie misusing her powers and causing some trouble, which she spends the rest of the show trying to fix.
Weird ass shows ruled the 80's. I mean: ALF, Harry and the Hendersons (ok, this was early 90's), Small Wonder, Growing Pains. Ah, I miss quality programming.
6/10/2007
Questions
I really like random questions. If I ever became famous, and I had to do interviews, I would love it when interviewers would ask "off the wall" questions. While browsing around YouTube, I found this woman named Juliana Luecking who is doing a project called, "People are a Trip." Basically, she asks people a question and then records their answers. Some answers are silly, some are bizarre, some are way deep. This is what I would say, to a select group of her questions:
"What is your favorite part of the day?"
The moment right before you fall asleep. You can almost feel yourself relax, and forget about the stress of the day. It's a very comforting feeling.
"What is one thing you know is true?"
That, right at this very moment, there is someone that is thinking of me.
"If you were in charge of the country, what would you do?"
Universal health care, equal opportunities (especially for education and work) for everyone, increased sexual education and STD and HIV/Aids awareness prevention, allowing the people to have more of say in the running of their country etc. etc. etc.
"Why do nations go to war?"
Misunderstandings and lack of discourse
"What is marriage?"
Ideally: a union between two committed individuals to show their love and devotion to one another
Realistically: governmental contract (between ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN) that allows for some financial benefits that will most likely eventually lead to divorce.
"What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"
The answer is always changing but right now, it is this:
"What would you change in the world?"
I would make everyone be accepting of everyone's appearance, beliefs, thoughts and loves. Put in other words, I would rid the world of ignorance and close minded thinking.
"What kind of music do you like?"
The booty shaking kind.
"What is your favorite part of the day?"
The moment right before you fall asleep. You can almost feel yourself relax, and forget about the stress of the day. It's a very comforting feeling.
"What is one thing you know is true?"
That, right at this very moment, there is someone that is thinking of me.
"If you were in charge of the country, what would you do?"
Universal health care, equal opportunities (especially for education and work) for everyone, increased sexual education and STD and HIV/Aids awareness prevention, allowing the people to have more of say in the running of their country etc. etc. etc.
"Why do nations go to war?"
Misunderstandings and lack of discourse
"What is marriage?"
Ideally: a union between two committed individuals to show their love and devotion to one another
Realistically: governmental contract (between ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN) that allows for some financial benefits that will most likely eventually lead to divorce.
"What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"
The answer is always changing but right now, it is this:
"What would you change in the world?"
I would make everyone be accepting of everyone's appearance, beliefs, thoughts and loves. Put in other words, I would rid the world of ignorance and close minded thinking.
"What kind of music do you like?"
The booty shaking kind.
6/07/2007
Somewhere out there, there is someone weird like me
Look at It, Sitting There in That Box, Plotting, Plotting...
Man: Styrofoam... Just thinking of it sends chills up and down my spine. Man, I hate that stuff.
Overheard by: aaron
via Overheard Everywhere, Apr 15, 2007
I know how that man feels. I really like that website, and the other ones included in the header (Overheard in New York, Overheard at the Beach, Overheard in the office). It reminds me of stupid conversations I have had with my friends, which is overheard by someone standing by, would be totally misconstrued and/or thought of as nuts.
I found this through a link of a web page my friend sent me. That website is also awesome, probably because I love passive aggression. I think it is funny, and I unfortunately am guilty of it on more than one occasion.
Other links from that website:
Ban Comic Sans - I don't get the hate of the use of Comic Sans, but then again, I am not a tech geek.
My Crazy Roommate - I don't know, he sounds kind of randomly funny to me. Uh, I think I know too many people that are like that.
I'm just trying to find ways to distract myself from work and the job hunt, as when I do any other the latter, I tense up and feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. That's when I call the Mom, and she reassures me that everything will work out and that this is not the end of the world. I wish I could clone and shrink my mom, then I could carry around on my shoulder as that little voice that always tells me how good I am.
So far I have sent in a resume and cover letter for one position and filled out an online application for another. I don't feel to confident about either one, but as one of my former advisers recently told me in an email, take on the philosophy of, "High hopes, low expectations!" He, and so many other family and friends have been very encouraging. I'm really lucky to have so many people in my cheering section.
Man: Styrofoam... Just thinking of it sends chills up and down my spine. Man, I hate that stuff.
Overheard by: aaron
via Overheard Everywhere, Apr 15, 2007
I know how that man feels. I really like that website, and the other ones included in the header (Overheard in New York, Overheard at the Beach, Overheard in the office). It reminds me of stupid conversations I have had with my friends, which is overheard by someone standing by, would be totally misconstrued and/or thought of as nuts.
I found this through a link of a web page my friend sent me. That website is also awesome, probably because I love passive aggression. I think it is funny, and I unfortunately am guilty of it on more than one occasion.
Other links from that website:
Ban Comic Sans - I don't get the hate of the use of Comic Sans, but then again, I am not a tech geek.
My Crazy Roommate - I don't know, he sounds kind of randomly funny to me. Uh, I think I know too many people that are like that.
I'm just trying to find ways to distract myself from work and the job hunt, as when I do any other the latter, I tense up and feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. That's when I call the Mom, and she reassures me that everything will work out and that this is not the end of the world. I wish I could clone and shrink my mom, then I could carry around on my shoulder as that little voice that always tells me how good I am.
So far I have sent in a resume and cover letter for one position and filled out an online application for another. I don't feel to confident about either one, but as one of my former advisers recently told me in an email, take on the philosophy of, "High hopes, low expectations!" He, and so many other family and friends have been very encouraging. I'm really lucky to have so many people in my cheering section.
6/05/2007
Girl Crush: Piper Weiss
I really have no idea who this woman is, but I love her. So all it takes for me to have a crush on you, is one well written article. Seriously, its like she got in my head, stole all my opinions (well, my opinions on pop culture) and then wrote it down more eloquently then I could ever do.
6/04/2007
Who totally just lost their job?
Oh yeah, that would be me. I guess the bright side of this was that I wasn't fired, I was "let go" due to budgeting constraints. They actually wanted to keep me on. This is the first time I am acutally job hunting. Before this I was either in college, or working with Public Allies (which I kind of lucked into)and then was hired on to the organization I was placed at. I have been lucky so far.
I'm trying really hard to be positive while in this whole mess. Like I said, I haven't had a period where I wasn't employed or in school. Coming out of this job, I have great references and experience (which may be a negative in that I may be "over qualified" for positions I want to get.
The negatives, I have zero cushion money so getting a job is necessary almost immediately. If I don't get a full time job, I may have to resort to moving back to Sheboygan after my lease ends (I love my family but...PLEASE GOD NO!!!). At the present time, my car is acting up, and my tire has a buldge and looks ready to explode. Its like one bad thing happens after the next. (The optimist in me says, at least they are not life-ending tragedies). So at this time, I am looking through job posting with my blurred-tear-soaked eyes.
An inside: As I wrote this there was breaking news about a plane crash into Lake Michigan with a high likelihood of 6 fatalities, further proof that I should quit my whining and count my blessings.
I'm trying really hard to be positive while in this whole mess. Like I said, I haven't had a period where I wasn't employed or in school. Coming out of this job, I have great references and experience (which may be a negative in that I may be "over qualified" for positions I want to get.
The negatives, I have zero cushion money so getting a job is necessary almost immediately. If I don't get a full time job, I may have to resort to moving back to Sheboygan after my lease ends (I love my family but...PLEASE GOD NO!!!). At the present time, my car is acting up, and my tire has a buldge and looks ready to explode. Its like one bad thing happens after the next. (The optimist in me says, at least they are not life-ending tragedies). So at this time, I am looking through job posting with my blurred-tear-soaked eyes.
An inside: As I wrote this there was breaking news about a plane crash into Lake Michigan with a high likelihood of 6 fatalities, further proof that I should quit my whining and count my blessings.
6/01/2007
Why do the Japanese rule at everything?
Recently I have been introduced to many new things that have come from Japan. This commercial is one of them. I love that they have no qualms about the promotion of childhood beer drinking. It only would have been more awesome if one of the kids was doing a beer bong.
Other Japanese imports I was introduced to: Wild Zero (Michael, if you are reading this, you must watch this movie) and Ninja Warrior.
Now that I think about it, I know the answer to my question. The Japanese rule because they know how to do cheesy.
5/31/2007
I love socially awkward kids
That is why I love watching Scribb's National Spelling Bee. In honor of today's event, I give you the Bee's best winner: Rebecca Sealfon. You know what else is great about this competition? Fainting kids.
5/29/2007
The benefits of being a pack rat
I have a problem with not being able to throw things away. Stupid
little rewards, notes, gag gifts...I keep them all. This even started
at a young age, around 10-11 years old. Just recently I picked up a
scrapbook, and other boxes I kept in my mother's apartment, and started
to look through them. What I found were pages and pages of
certifications of achievement, notes I passed around with my best
friend Jamie (who is still very much close to me), birthday cards,
report cards and papers I wrote in high school. I am glad I kept those
papers, it is fun to see how I wrote at the age. Sometimes I look at
those papers and wonder how I was an "A"ish student. One paper I kept, and the comment a teacher made on it, seemed to stand out for me.
It was a paper on Love that I wrote for my Honors Psychology class. I had
to observe a couple, and talk about their interactions and then do an assessment
on how relationships work. Here was my concluding sentence, "Those who
do break up don't do so because there is something wrong with the
relationship, it's because they weren't meant to be together." My
teacher commented afterward, "How Fatalistic." I don't remember being
amused by it then, but I giggled when I re-read it as an adult.
little rewards, notes, gag gifts...I keep them all. This even started
at a young age, around 10-11 years old. Just recently I picked up a
scrapbook, and other boxes I kept in my mother's apartment, and started
to look through them. What I found were pages and pages of
certifications of achievement, notes I passed around with my best
friend Jamie (who is still very much close to me), birthday cards,
report cards and papers I wrote in high school. I am glad I kept those
papers, it is fun to see how I wrote at the age. Sometimes I look at
those papers and wonder how I was an "A"ish student. One paper I kept, and the comment a teacher made on it, seemed to stand out for me.
It was a paper on Love that I wrote for my Honors Psychology class. I had
to observe a couple, and talk about their interactions and then do an assessment
on how relationships work. Here was my concluding sentence, "Those who
do break up don't do so because there is something wrong with the
relationship, it's because they weren't meant to be together." My
teacher commented afterward, "How Fatalistic." I don't remember being
amused by it then, but I giggled when I re-read it as an adult.
5/24/2007
Tales of a Gym Class Loser
I have never been good at athletics. Well except for maybe when I was a young child but aren't all young children athletic in some way or form. I can tell you one thing that I was never: graceful. There are pictures of a 5ish old me at my gymnastics class to prove that. It was around middle school that I lost an resemblance of that child "athlete" in me. So what did people like me hate in high school? Gym.
We had to take gym, it was mandatory (not all 4 years, thank god). My freshman year the gym class was divided into boys and girls. The vaginas would do synchronized swimming, archery, scooter games, field hockey etc. The penises (what is the plural form of penis anyway?) would play flag football, basketball, weight trainings. Any undetermined genital did not exist in my school, as far as I knew.
My sophomore year, that is when the gym classes were integrated, and instead separated into Gym "A" (the old "boys" curriculum) and Gym "B" (the old "girls" curriculum). It might be surprising to find out that I went ahead and enrolled myself in Gym A. I don't really know why. Maybe I felt like I had something to prove.
It was horrendous. The girls that were in the class with me were the athletic popular girls, that for the most part hated or ignored me and the guys just hated me for sucking at every activity we participated in. I take that back, the guys did not hate me if I was not "forced" to be their partner or on their team (which by the way, the teacher was decent enough not to have people pick teams, which I am sure I would be next to last chosen). You know the teacher did do once? He once made a list of the best bad mitten players to the worst. Then he made double teams. The bestest player went with the worstest player. My partner, who was good, always stole the birdie from me and would yell at me for missing shots. Good times.
I did have one shining moments. It was during our flag football section. We were split into two teams, everyone was on the field playing, my team was offense. I was just told to run ahead, try not to attempt to block/run after anyone...just stay out of the way. Then one play, the quarterback (who was actual a star varsity basketball player) was looking around for an open player, the only one being me. We looked at each other and a nonverbal understanding was made...I had to catch it. I outstretched my hands and closed my eyes as I saw him release the ball. Next thing I knew I was cradling the ball the same was Baby was cradling the watermelon on Dirty Dancing. I took a split second to smile at my accomplishment, before jetting it towards the endzone. I only got about 10-15 yards, but still...I totally caught it! As I headed back to the huddle, I was greeted by high fives. I know this goes against my "I hate everyone attitude" but I enjoyed the moment of acceptance.
Ok, so I take it back, I didn't have just one shining moment. I had that moment, and a entire shining section. That section, being swimming. I was the only swimmer in the entire class (built mostly of athletes...basketball, football, cross country etc). So basically, I kicked everyone's ass. The first string quarterback was stuck in the shallow end learning how to float, because he didn't know how to swim. When we had races, the best of the girls vs. the best of the guys, the guy I swam against, wouldn't even swim the front crawl against me, because he didn't want to get embarrassed. Wussy.
In reality, I was an average swimmer. Well, I didn't really apply myself. Maybe this is why I was not athletic, I didn't have the drive. What I did have was endurance, so I was placed in the distance competitions. A friend of mine has this theory, most people that did distance competitions (running/swimming) in high school were the kids that were slackers, but had good endurance. Personally, I do think this applies to me. After the race had finished, I was never red faced or gasping for breath and while racing I was usually singing a song in my head or thinking of something else that would amuse me for 20 laps of the pool. I think that if I actually drove myself harder, and trained off season, I would have been really really good. As it was already, I as lower rung varsity.
One true thing about swimmers, at least from my point of view, is that they are not runners. I think the best time I ran a mile was 8 minutes and that is when I was at my fittest. Many of my friends, that were also swimmers, agree with me.
Going back to the Gym A experience...I think this led me to have an automatic hate for preppy athletic guys. Subconsciously, I think they will always belittle my lack of athletic abilities. That is why I like to surround myself with nerds and hippies. They don't like sports, at least for the most part they don't.
I even carry this athletic insecurity with me as an adult. One summer when I was a camp ground leader, I was playing kick ball with a bunch of 10 year olds. I was in the outfield, as it was easier for me to get the ball when it rolls away(faster because of my longer legs). One kid kicked a high pop up. I got nervous about catching it but went after it anyway. Luckily I did catch it, and ran up to another kid running to second for a double play. (Yeah, in those 10 year old faces!). My teammates later told me, "Holland! You are REALLY good at kickball." This made me smile, because once again I was accepted as a legit athlete....errr, by little kids.
We had to take gym, it was mandatory (not all 4 years, thank god). My freshman year the gym class was divided into boys and girls. The vaginas would do synchronized swimming, archery, scooter games, field hockey etc. The penises (what is the plural form of penis anyway?) would play flag football, basketball, weight trainings. Any undetermined genital did not exist in my school, as far as I knew.
My sophomore year, that is when the gym classes were integrated, and instead separated into Gym "A" (the old "boys" curriculum) and Gym "B" (the old "girls" curriculum). It might be surprising to find out that I went ahead and enrolled myself in Gym A. I don't really know why. Maybe I felt like I had something to prove.
It was horrendous. The girls that were in the class with me were the athletic popular girls, that for the most part hated or ignored me and the guys just hated me for sucking at every activity we participated in. I take that back, the guys did not hate me if I was not "forced" to be their partner or on their team (which by the way, the teacher was decent enough not to have people pick teams, which I am sure I would be next to last chosen). You know the teacher did do once? He once made a list of the best bad mitten players to the worst. Then he made double teams. The bestest player went with the worstest player. My partner, who was good, always stole the birdie from me and would yell at me for missing shots. Good times.
I did have one shining moments. It was during our flag football section. We were split into two teams, everyone was on the field playing, my team was offense. I was just told to run ahead, try not to attempt to block/run after anyone...just stay out of the way. Then one play, the quarterback (who was actual a star varsity basketball player) was looking around for an open player, the only one being me. We looked at each other and a nonverbal understanding was made...I had to catch it. I outstretched my hands and closed my eyes as I saw him release the ball. Next thing I knew I was cradling the ball the same was Baby was cradling the watermelon on Dirty Dancing. I took a split second to smile at my accomplishment, before jetting it towards the endzone. I only got about 10-15 yards, but still...I totally caught it! As I headed back to the huddle, I was greeted by high fives. I know this goes against my "I hate everyone attitude" but I enjoyed the moment of acceptance.
Ok, so I take it back, I didn't have just one shining moment. I had that moment, and a entire shining section. That section, being swimming. I was the only swimmer in the entire class (built mostly of athletes...basketball, football, cross country etc). So basically, I kicked everyone's ass. The first string quarterback was stuck in the shallow end learning how to float, because he didn't know how to swim. When we had races, the best of the girls vs. the best of the guys, the guy I swam against, wouldn't even swim the front crawl against me, because he didn't want to get embarrassed. Wussy.
In reality, I was an average swimmer. Well, I didn't really apply myself. Maybe this is why I was not athletic, I didn't have the drive. What I did have was endurance, so I was placed in the distance competitions. A friend of mine has this theory, most people that did distance competitions (running/swimming) in high school were the kids that were slackers, but had good endurance. Personally, I do think this applies to me. After the race had finished, I was never red faced or gasping for breath and while racing I was usually singing a song in my head or thinking of something else that would amuse me for 20 laps of the pool. I think that if I actually drove myself harder, and trained off season, I would have been really really good. As it was already, I as lower rung varsity.
One true thing about swimmers, at least from my point of view, is that they are not runners. I think the best time I ran a mile was 8 minutes and that is when I was at my fittest. Many of my friends, that were also swimmers, agree with me.
Going back to the Gym A experience...I think this led me to have an automatic hate for preppy athletic guys. Subconsciously, I think they will always belittle my lack of athletic abilities. That is why I like to surround myself with nerds and hippies. They don't like sports, at least for the most part they don't.
I even carry this athletic insecurity with me as an adult. One summer when I was a camp ground leader, I was playing kick ball with a bunch of 10 year olds. I was in the outfield, as it was easier for me to get the ball when it rolls away(faster because of my longer legs). One kid kicked a high pop up. I got nervous about catching it but went after it anyway. Luckily I did catch it, and ran up to another kid running to second for a double play. (Yeah, in those 10 year old faces!). My teammates later told me, "Holland! You are REALLY good at kickball." This made me smile, because once again I was accepted as a legit athlete....errr, by little kids.
5/22/2007
Way to ruin my entire day, Jerk...
So, I am driving to the gym when I hear a guy on a motorcycle shouting from behind me. He totally looked like the typical middle aged white suburban guy trying to relive his golden days by riding around on his 'hog.'
I can't hear him, so I ignore him (pretty sure if I did hear him, I would still ignore him regardless of what he was saying). When I pulled to the stop sign, guy pulls up next to me. Here is the conversation...
Guy: You cut me off back there
Me: (Confused because I dorkingly check my blindspots all the time) Sorry.
Guy: You CUT ME OFF!!! (He must of thought I didn't 'get it' the first time)
Me: Listen, have you heard of road rage? I'm not having a good day and I don't feel like dealing with an asshole. (I was serious too, the id in me wanted to back my car up and ram right into him)
Guy: (as I drive off) UGLY CUNT!
[Start of sarcastic statement] Hmmm. Ugly cunt. Original. You know, as a woman, I have never been called that before. [end of sarcastic statement]
This guy seemed like one of those people that thought because he was a man (not just any man...but a man on a motorcycle) he could scare a young girl like me by yelling at me and throwing me stern looks. Not that I am all bite, but I most certainly do not take shit from anyone. However, I do regret calling him an asshole. I should have been the bigger person, and left that one apology as is, and ignored him.
Also, as much as I like to think and say that words don't hurt me, being called a cunt kills me.
I can't hear him, so I ignore him (pretty sure if I did hear him, I would still ignore him regardless of what he was saying). When I pulled to the stop sign, guy pulls up next to me. Here is the conversation...
Guy: You cut me off back there
Me: (Confused because I dorkingly check my blindspots all the time) Sorry.
Guy: You CUT ME OFF!!! (He must of thought I didn't 'get it' the first time)
Me: Listen, have you heard of road rage? I'm not having a good day and I don't feel like dealing with an asshole. (I was serious too, the id in me wanted to back my car up and ram right into him)
Guy: (as I drive off) UGLY CUNT!
[Start of sarcastic statement] Hmmm. Ugly cunt. Original. You know, as a woman, I have never been called that before. [end of sarcastic statement]
This guy seemed like one of those people that thought because he was a man (not just any man...but a man on a motorcycle) he could scare a young girl like me by yelling at me and throwing me stern looks. Not that I am all bite, but I most certainly do not take shit from anyone. However, I do regret calling him an asshole. I should have been the bigger person, and left that one apology as is, and ignored him.
Also, as much as I like to think and say that words don't hurt me, being called a cunt kills me.
5/18/2007
Two words to describe watching childbirth: Grotesquely Beautiful
My niece, Elaine Elizabeth, was born on May 12th and I was there to watch every gruesome moment. It really was beautiful.
It all started one week ago on Friday May 11th. I was on the phone with a friend making plans to go out that night. I wasn't planning on drinking, as I knew that any minute I would get a call from my sister telling me that she was in labor. My friend asked me if I was sure the baby wasn't coming and I said no, not yet. However while I was on the phone, I heard a beep indicating that someone was on the other line. I finished up my call with my friend quickly and checked to see who it was on the other line. It was my sister and her contractions were 30 minutes apart. I called back my friend to cancel plans, ate my dinner, packed my bags and headed up north to Sheboygan.
I met my sister and the family at her house around 9pm. We all went to sleep that night and waited for her contractions to get 5 minutes apart before heading to the hospital. That didn't happen until around 3am on Saturday. Rianna didn't get any sleep because she was busy keeping track (and being distracted by) the contractions. I got about 3 hours of sleep, as did my brother-in-law.
When we got to the hospital, the doctor broke her water right away so that her contractions would come faster and harder. Not to long after that she was put on pitocin to augment the labor (her contractions were not that painful). That is when she really started to feel the labor pains.
At first she stayed with IV medications but soon those were not working out at all, and only took the pain away for about 15 minutes. Around 4pm (being in the hospital for over 12 hours and not getting any sleep for well over 24 hours)Rianna made the decision to get an epidural. At this point she was 4cm dilated and around 80-90% effaced. That decision was hard for her but after the epidural was administered she felt she made the right one, as she was able to nap until she started to push at 6pm.
While she was pushing, the doctor noticed that the baby was coming out face up. So while Rianna was pushing the doctor was also turning the baby around so that she would face downward. It was also around this point that the doctor performed and episiotomy, which was THE GROSSEST part of it all. (All of my hippie, natural birth friends would be shaking their heads right now).
Then the head came out, my brother-in-law was already crying from joy at this point, the rest of us were holding our breath in anticipation on the first cries and finding out the sex. It was a little scary because the umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's head twice, but I could see her mouth moving. Rianna let out one more good push and the whole baby came out. Daddy was the first one to say, "It's a girl!" Everyone was crying, even me with my cold black heart. Then my little niece started to cry and people ran out to tell everyone waiting in hall the good news.
The nurses cleaned her up, as everyone remarked that she had a good head of hair, and took her measurements (7lbs 9oz and 21 inches long). When her temperature was taken, it was kind of high, but the doctors didn't make a big deal out of it. The rest of the day went as usual, pictures, phone calls and first time to hold the baby.
The next day my family came to the hospital to find that the baby was hooked up to an iv and that they were for sure staying the three days so that Elaine could get a daily dose of antibiotics for her fever (which at that point had reduced to a normal temperature) and high white blood cells. The doctors told everyone that they were just being careful.
The following day, when we came to visit, we found that they had been to moved to a smaller room (called the "almost home" room) compared to the huge-ass birthing room they had before. Also the baby was jaundice, so she had to be put on this blue lighted bed (or pad when she was being breastfed). I know that there is a name for the light but I forget what it was called. The light made her look like a glo-worm. While breastfeeding, Rianna noticed that Elaine felt warm again, so the nurse came in to take the temperature and lo-and-behold another hike in temperature.
That same day, after my mom and I grabbed dinner in the cafeteria, we returned to the hospital room to find my sister in tears and informing us that they were told Elaine had to stay for 7 days. The doctors were concerned that she may (or may not) have a bacterial infection and felt more secure with a 7 day daily dose of antibiotics. The only good thing in the situation, was that because my sister was breastfeeding, she and my brother-in-law were able to stay in the hospital room even though she was no longer officially a patient.
Soon after being told that Elaine would remain in the hospital, my sister was having difficulties getting the baby to latch on to her to feed. This my sister started a mild panic attack. She was having a difficult time breathing and got nauseous. My mom also looked overwhelmed, that is when I told her that I would ask for the rest of the week off of work, so that I could stay with her (to drive her to and from the hospital and help out my sister and brother-in-law as much as I could).
Since then, my sister has been more confident about breastfeeding and kicking visitors out (because with my family, we have oh-so-many) and just the general well-being of Elaine. She got taken off her glo-worm bed, no signs of fevers, white blood cell count are normal and she is a VERY good eater. Best of all, she is being released a day earlier than expected, so she should be home tomorrow, one week after she was born.
5/10/2007
Bessie
When I was young, my family lived in this brown house, that was across the street from two bars, there was a big tree (with swings) in a big backyard, with a poppy tree and chives that grew in around the house. I really liked living in that house, mostly because of the neighbors. There were a lot of kids that my siblings and I would play with and then there was our next door neighbor Bessie.
She was an elderly Jewish woman, who also happened to be our landlord. She was your typical grandmother figure, except older and crankier. My mom would help her run errands and do chores (my family above anything else respects elderly people). I would occassionally go over to Bessie's apartment, she would watch me while my mom was gone or I would just visit, and she would give me and my siblings candy. It wasn't the best candy, kind of like that stale candy that would stick together but hey, I was kid and it was candy. I still remember that her pantry was stocked with sweets. Later in my life, when I would tell my mom about this, she would always shake her head and say, "She wasn't even suppose to have that stuff, she was diabetic."
Other things I remember about her is that her apartment smelled musky and she had "old" furniture and pillows that would vibrate (don't even begin to ask me the purpose of those). She would call me and my siblings over when were playing in the yard, and then she gave us bread crumbs to feed the birds. She called my cousin Joey, "Howie." She would yell at us kids for lying in the grass, warning us that we would get polio. Basically, she was the awesomest old lady ever.
Eventually, she had to be moved to a retirement home, because she could no longer take care of herself, and she had no family to move in with (she never married or had children). I never saw her again, she passed a few years later. I just hope that while we were in her life we made her days a little brighter.
She was an elderly Jewish woman, who also happened to be our landlord. She was your typical grandmother figure, except older and crankier. My mom would help her run errands and do chores (my family above anything else respects elderly people). I would occassionally go over to Bessie's apartment, she would watch me while my mom was gone or I would just visit, and she would give me and my siblings candy. It wasn't the best candy, kind of like that stale candy that would stick together but hey, I was kid and it was candy. I still remember that her pantry was stocked with sweets. Later in my life, when I would tell my mom about this, she would always shake her head and say, "She wasn't even suppose to have that stuff, she was diabetic."
Other things I remember about her is that her apartment smelled musky and she had "old" furniture and pillows that would vibrate (don't even begin to ask me the purpose of those). She would call me and my siblings over when were playing in the yard, and then she gave us bread crumbs to feed the birds. She called my cousin Joey, "Howie." She would yell at us kids for lying in the grass, warning us that we would get polio. Basically, she was the awesomest old lady ever.
Eventually, she had to be moved to a retirement home, because she could no longer take care of herself, and she had no family to move in with (she never married or had children). I never saw her again, she passed a few years later. I just hope that while we were in her life we made her days a little brighter.
5/08/2007
Splurging
I have recently decided to splurge on some presents for myself at Amazon. Now I am super pumped about their arrival, which should be in the next week. Lets take a look at my purchases:
Flight: A Novel by Sherman Alexie
It's about a time traveling murderer. It sounds very Alexie-esque. If you have never read an Alexie novel before, I recommend reading Indian Killer first, then Reservation Blues and he also has great collections of short stories such as 10 Little Indians and Lone Ranger and Tonto Fist Fight in Heaven. I'm not a reader, so you just have to imagine HOW excited I am to read it.
Wet Hot American Summer
I love Stella and Michael Showalter (lately it seems like 'sense of humor' is climbing up my list of 'Reasons why I would do you'). This is one of my favoritest movies, and yet I had not owned it before I purchased it. I am cheap and lazy. I like goofy/silly humor that is a little absurd. How can you go wrong with a line like, "You taste like burger, I don't like you anymore."
Bring it Back by Mates of State
Finally buying it more than a year after it has been released. I was hesitant in the purchase, because it always seem to me that my favorite bands/artists always seem to crash and burn with every subsequent release. However, from what I have heard, this album is on par with the other albums (which means if you are a MoS hater, you will still hate them). Since I love all MoS releases, I am sure I will like this one. Plus, I like the two videos they have out for the albums.
Slightly off topic: While looking through Amazon, I wanted to see how much they were asking for Sandlot (you play ball like a girl!). Its 10 dollars by the way, but that's not my point. My point is that there seems to be two sequels to it. Both, obviously had to be direct to video. I think it is damn close to blasphemy. Don't ruin a masterpiece!
I don't know what made me love the Sandlot so. Was it the plot? Was it the dialogue? Was it Benny "the Jet" Rodriguez? Yes to all of them, but mostly the last one. I (and my sister) totally hearted Mike Vitar. I will illustrate with an already made graphic.
Creepy? Yes.
Back on topic: Still excited about the arrival.
Flight: A Novel by Sherman Alexie
It's about a time traveling murderer. It sounds very Alexie-esque. If you have never read an Alexie novel before, I recommend reading Indian Killer first, then Reservation Blues and he also has great collections of short stories such as 10 Little Indians and Lone Ranger and Tonto Fist Fight in Heaven. I'm not a reader, so you just have to imagine HOW excited I am to read it.
Wet Hot American Summer
I love Stella and Michael Showalter (lately it seems like 'sense of humor' is climbing up my list of 'Reasons why I would do you'). This is one of my favoritest movies, and yet I had not owned it before I purchased it. I am cheap and lazy. I like goofy/silly humor that is a little absurd. How can you go wrong with a line like, "You taste like burger, I don't like you anymore."
Bring it Back by Mates of State
Finally buying it more than a year after it has been released. I was hesitant in the purchase, because it always seem to me that my favorite bands/artists always seem to crash and burn with every subsequent release. However, from what I have heard, this album is on par with the other albums (which means if you are a MoS hater, you will still hate them). Since I love all MoS releases, I am sure I will like this one. Plus, I like the two videos they have out for the albums.
Slightly off topic: While looking through Amazon, I wanted to see how much they were asking for Sandlot (you play ball like a girl!). Its 10 dollars by the way, but that's not my point. My point is that there seems to be two sequels to it. Both, obviously had to be direct to video. I think it is damn close to blasphemy. Don't ruin a masterpiece!
I don't know what made me love the Sandlot so. Was it the plot? Was it the dialogue? Was it Benny "the Jet" Rodriguez? Yes to all of them, but mostly the last one. I (and my sister) totally hearted Mike Vitar. I will illustrate with an already made graphic.
Creepy? Yes.
Back on topic: Still excited about the arrival.
5/04/2007
OMG Guys!
Remember how I was talking about the Monster Squad, and I almost forgot how awesome it was. Guess what. It is totally coming out on DVD. Awesomeness.
5/02/2007
Moon Pie
My brother's favorite book as a child was Just Only John. It was a story about a little boy who turned into whatever the people around called him. His mother called him "Little Lamb," and his father called him "Little Man," and he turned into those things. Of course by the end he became himself, of rather "Just Only John." It's a good story about not being ashamed about being yourself.
This made me think of what my dad calls my cousin. He calls her Moon Pie. I never got the reference. I have never seen them sold anywhere in Wisconsin. Apparently the are round pastry treats. Dad called Emily, Moon Pie, because her face is very round...and edible. This is what Emily would look like if she were in a book called Just Only Emily.
This made me think of what my dad calls my cousin. He calls her Moon Pie. I never got the reference. I have never seen them sold anywhere in Wisconsin. Apparently the are round pastry treats. Dad called Emily, Moon Pie, because her face is very round...and edible. This is what Emily would look like if she were in a book called Just Only Emily.
We all have standards
While looking through Found Magazine I found this little gem. It looks to me, like it is a list of "marriageable qualities" that some girl made. I like how her list becomes more superficial as it goes on. At least she seems to start off with "good/moral" qualities. It seems like the good girl version of "Mary Van Note's Rules on Dating Mary Van Note by Mary Van Note." Note: If you decided to Google her be warned that her stuff is not safe for work and not safe for anyone that is shy about sex humor. I think she is funny.
You know...I have standards too. I never actually wrote them down on paper (or on the Internet) but I keep a running list in my head, and yes, it is mostly superficial. Here it is, not listed in order of importance.
1. I will not date anyone that wears white shoes or white hats. People that do this are douche bags. This statement is a little extreme. 60% of white shoes/hat wearers are douches and that douchiest are the ones that are really concerned with the brightness of the whiteness.
2. No hunters. (No, I do not belong to PETA). I live in Wisconsin, so this is hard to find.
3. No Nascar fans. Especially the ones that wear these jackets. Ew.
4. No Toby Keith/Kenny Chesney fans. Well the music thing can keep on going. No Nickeback, Seether, Daughtery and anything like this. I also hate music snobs.
5. Do not come at me with flowers and/or candy and even a song/poem written for me. This is corny. Corniness makes me uncomfortable and not in a blushing/giddy way. More like a "get me out of here" type of way.
6. Must be funny. All the time.
7. Don't be prettier than me. Oh, you can be better looking than me, that's no problem, just don't be prettier. What does this mean? If it takes longer to get ready than me, if your wardrobe costs more than mine, if there is product in your hair, if you smell better than me (high possibility) you might be prettier than me.
8. I don't really have a problem with facial hair. It can be funny, it can be hot. But you know what is not hot and not funny? Soul patches.
9. Sensitive guys need not apply. I will make you cry...a lot. And when you cry, I will point and laugh.
10. Must be tolerable to my religious views (or lack there of), moments of airheadedness, and my constant jokes that I will be making about you.
11. Must hate Styrofoam as much as I do.
That is all I can think of right at this moment. I swear that I am not picky.
4/27/2007
Negative Kudos: Michael Vick
Let's take a look at the controversies thus far:
-Ron Mexico, as an alias while visiting clinics to treat STDs of which sex partners do not know about.
-Flipping off fans while leaving a game.
-Water bottle compartment with questionable substance.
All of these are understandable and/or explainable (I like his explanations to some of these stories, they are hilarious) but this next one just irks me.
-Vick's property is found to house abused dogs.
Even if he doesn't live there he should have known what was going on at a place that he owns. I mean...60 dogs? That's pretty hard not to know about.
Brodie, from Daily Puppy, is not pleased. He hates athletes like I do.
4/24/2007
Everyday I become more and more like my...
People usually end that sentence with saying they become their mom or their dad and normally I would. I do find traits in myself that mirror my mom and my dad. For example, I am like my dad in that I trust other people. WellOK, not so much trust, but more I am willing to help out other people without any expectations of getting paid back (an example of this is whenever our car broke down, my dad never asked or expected a ride from his coworkers but whenever anyone else needed a ride, even to the next city/town/village over, my dad would be the first to volunteer). Of course, the downside to this, is you obviously people can walk all over you. I am like my mom, in that I am a realist and levelheaded. My mom, being the oldest of her siblings, had to play the diplomat in many situations. She taught me to not judge a book by its cover and not draw such quick conclusions on subjects.
Yes, I am like my parents and as I age, I continue to grow more and more like them. However, in reality I think more of my personality actually comes from my Uncle Peter. To this day I still have this weird fear of him. Not like he is going to hit me or anything bad like that, but more of a fear of what he may say to me. No, not even my aunt, who used to stand over my crib and say in a deep voice, "WHAT'S MY AME!," (she was 14 and I was an annoying colicky baby, but still) makes me nervous.
Here are example of situations that cause me to fear him:
-When I was about 5, I along with my brother and sister, asked him to take a picture of us. He said he would, but only if we picked our nose. We did.
-When I would ask for a ride to my middle school mixers (you know the ones where they played jock jams and you would stand around awkwardly during the slow songs---oh wait that was just me)he said he would if I would pay him back...with interest (his nickname was The Operator).
-He gave me a nickname which was originated from a mean nanny character, or was it a mean witch? Well, I know it was a mean old lady.
Basically, its the snarky attitude that make me nervous. However, I find that I am very much like him as an adult. Things I do that remind me of what my uncle would do:
-I use the same type of sarcasm with people of all ages, even children. Its fun to see how long you can tell a kid something that is obviously not true, and see how long they believe you.
-I joke around with my cousins about only showing up at family functions for food.
Whenever I give rides to my brothers or cousins and they go in the backseat and no one sits in the passenger seat, I look back at them and say, "What do I look like, a taxi-cab?"
-My uncle married in his early thirties (which for my family is really really old) and everyone assumed he was going to be a bachelor all his life (he is married with three kids now). I'm on the road to this, except I have the pleasure of being a girl, so its called being an old maid. Oh Joy!
-In general, people being afraid to ask me to do favors for them, in fear of my snarky reactions (which are sarcastic but I do the favors anyway because like I said, I am my father).
-I'm already planning out some mean nicknames to give to my future nieces and nephews. OK I am kind of kidding about that last one.
In all seriousness, I hope to keep my uncles coolness (because he was cool) but I hope I don't instill fear in my sibling's offspring. Or at least those kids better not fear me.***shakes fist***
Here is a picture taken around the time Uncle Peter came back from basic training. I am with my sister, brother and cousin on his lap.
Look at how happy we were to see him. We were so naive.
Yes, I am like my parents and as I age, I continue to grow more and more like them. However, in reality I think more of my personality actually comes from my Uncle Peter. To this day I still have this weird fear of him. Not like he is going to hit me or anything bad like that, but more of a fear of what he may say to me. No, not even my aunt, who used to stand over my crib and say in a deep voice, "WHAT'S MY AME!," (she was 14 and I was an annoying colicky baby, but still) makes me nervous.
Here are example of situations that cause me to fear him:
-When I was about 5, I along with my brother and sister, asked him to take a picture of us. He said he would, but only if we picked our nose. We did.
-When I would ask for a ride to my middle school mixers (you know the ones where they played jock jams and you would stand around awkwardly during the slow songs---oh wait that was just me)he said he would if I would pay him back...with interest (his nickname was The Operator).
-He gave me a nickname which was originated from a mean nanny character, or was it a mean witch? Well, I know it was a mean old lady.
Basically, its the snarky attitude that make me nervous. However, I find that I am very much like him as an adult. Things I do that remind me of what my uncle would do:
-I use the same type of sarcasm with people of all ages, even children. Its fun to see how long you can tell a kid something that is obviously not true, and see how long they believe you.
-I joke around with my cousins about only showing up at family functions for food.
Whenever I give rides to my brothers or cousins and they go in the backseat and no one sits in the passenger seat, I look back at them and say, "What do I look like, a taxi-cab?"
-My uncle married in his early thirties (which for my family is really really old) and everyone assumed he was going to be a bachelor all his life (he is married with three kids now). I'm on the road to this, except I have the pleasure of being a girl, so its called being an old maid. Oh Joy!
-In general, people being afraid to ask me to do favors for them, in fear of my snarky reactions (which are sarcastic but I do the favors anyway because like I said, I am my father).
-I'm already planning out some mean nicknames to give to my future nieces and nephews. OK I am kind of kidding about that last one.
In all seriousness, I hope to keep my uncles coolness (because he was cool) but I hope I don't instill fear in my sibling's offspring. Or at least those kids better not fear me.***shakes fist***
Here is a picture taken around the time Uncle Peter came back from basic training. I am with my sister, brother and cousin on his lap.
Look at how happy we were to see him. We were so naive.
4/23/2007
The wisdom of children
While reading Post Secret today, I came across this quote:
"Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Kids amaze me. Not so much for their knowledge, but for their questions. These questions are the ones that adults never really think about or questions that they don't ponder and just accept some answer that they were fed to them as children. In reality, children are probably they best socratic philosophers (with their endless "why"s). I think a brilliant example is from my childhood, the genius is my sister.
We were getting tucked into bed by my father when my sister asked him, how he knows that God exists. No one can really quite remember what my dad's answer was, but we think he probably gave some speech about not having physical evidence that God exists, but one must have faith in something that they cannot see, or you can see God exists in miracles, blah blah. After he was done, he said his good nights and my sister turned to me and said, "That means he doesn't know."
The next time a kid asks you a question, really think about the appropriate answer to give them, because they listen and remember everything you say.
"Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Kids amaze me. Not so much for their knowledge, but for their questions. These questions are the ones that adults never really think about or questions that they don't ponder and just accept some answer that they were fed to them as children. In reality, children are probably they best socratic philosophers (with their endless "why"s). I think a brilliant example is from my childhood, the genius is my sister.
We were getting tucked into bed by my father when my sister asked him, how he knows that God exists. No one can really quite remember what my dad's answer was, but we think he probably gave some speech about not having physical evidence that God exists, but one must have faith in something that they cannot see, or you can see God exists in miracles, blah blah. After he was done, he said his good nights and my sister turned to me and said, "That means he doesn't know."
The next time a kid asks you a question, really think about the appropriate answer to give them, because they listen and remember everything you say.
4/19/2007
Certain songs make me happy
So, I am feeling better today, compared to yesterday. It is bright, shiny and warmish outside. Also, on my way to work, I heard Walking on Sunshine on the radio. It just put me in a good mood.
On a email listserve that a group of us in Public Allies made, we would come up with 'Top 5' lists we would email back and forth to each other, to pass time if we were bored. One list was a 'Top 5 Happy Songs.' One of the members named Walking on Sunshine on his list (which was actually over 5, because he was having a good day).
It is true, that song does make me happy as well. As I was listening to it, I thought to myself, "How exactly does one walk on sunshine?" Immediately I thought of the Peanuts characters dancing in that Christmas special. Specifically, I thought of the guy with the green shirt, that does a kind of zombie-walk-in-place dance. That is how one walks on sunshine.
I love the Charlie Brown/Peanuts dance. Even though, I am not a dancer, I still try to incorporate these moves when I do bust a groove. It just seems joyful. (Just a quick note here, I googled the term 'Charlie Brown Dance' to find this video and thought the combination and editing of the video and song was brilliant even if I am not a fan of Outkast or this song in particular. Also, in my google search, I found the Urban Dictionary defintion of 'Charlie Brown' which states in so many words that it is 'the part of the cha-cha slide when everyone stands around awkwardly'..heh).
In case you were wondering, here is a list of other songs (top 5 off the top of my head) that make me happy:
Love Shack - The B-52s
Shake it Up - The Cars
Groove is in the Heart - Deelite
Goods (in your head) - Mates of State
Shake Your Pants - The Meligrove Band
4/18/2007
Today feels like suck 'aka' Emo is the new goth
I hate rainy, dreary weather. I especially hate it when I am already in a bad mood. I blame the 24 hour coverage of the VA Tech massacre, and my willing viewing of said coverage. Whenever something this sad happens on a national or world scale, I always seem to be drawn in to the stories of the victims and the perpetrator (I go and read the Crime Library website for fun). The human psyche fascinates me. I think I missed my calling as a criminologist. However, if I did decide to go into the field of studying crime, I would probably be in a constant mood that I am experiencing now, the mood of 'blah.' The fact that there are people out there that do things like this makes me depressed. What makes me even more depressed, is that the situation even occurring doesn't shock me.
Perhaps my mood also has to do with now not having anything to occupy my spare time. Before I was constantly worry and/or planning my sister's baby shower, which just occurred this past weekend, sans any great disaster (woohoo). This may sound weird, but I am one of those people that needs something to worry about, in order to function properly. I am like my cousin's baby, who constantly walks around looking busy, busy, busy but really has nowhere important to go or see. When I don't have anything to do, I realize my life is boring. However, in light of recent events, boring feels fine.
I once read somewhere that Sagittarians (my sign) are energetic and optimistic people. However they get bored easily, and when they do get bored they also get pessimistic and moody. At the time I was reading that I didn't believe it (mostly because I never see myself as energetic or optimistic), but I kind of do now.
Yes, today is a day that I sadly stare out of my rain-streamed window with my chin in hands. Ho-hum. Hopefully my America's Next Top Model date with my friends will make me feel better.
Perhaps my mood also has to do with now not having anything to occupy my spare time. Before I was constantly worry and/or planning my sister's baby shower, which just occurred this past weekend, sans any great disaster (woohoo). This may sound weird, but I am one of those people that needs something to worry about, in order to function properly. I am like my cousin's baby, who constantly walks around looking busy, busy, busy but really has nowhere important to go or see. When I don't have anything to do, I realize my life is boring. However, in light of recent events, boring feels fine.
I once read somewhere that Sagittarians (my sign) are energetic and optimistic people. However they get bored easily, and when they do get bored they also get pessimistic and moody. At the time I was reading that I didn't believe it (mostly because I never see myself as energetic or optimistic), but I kind of do now.
Yes, today is a day that I sadly stare out of my rain-streamed window with my chin in hands. Ho-hum. Hopefully my America's Next Top Model date with my friends will make me feel better.
4/13/2007
4/12/2007
RIP Kurt Vonnegut
I remember being in around the ninth grade and asking my parents what their favorite books were. My mother told me To Kill a Mockingbird and my father said Slaughterhouse-five. I was looking to try and expand my mind, and actually read books for my own pleasure, and not because teachers made me (at that time the last time I read a book on my own, the authors included Ann Martin, Beverly Cleary, RL Stein or any American Girl author). So, I decided to tackle my dad's favorite book first.
This was my first Kurt Vonnegut novel, and probably the best way to get introduced. Reading Slaughterhouse-five for the first time can be described in three sequential thought processes:
1. WTF!?!
2. Indifference - long intake process
3. Awe.
Such an important literary figure will be missed.
4/10/2007
Negative Kudos the not-Thursday Version: Don Imus
I know it is late, but never too late to comment on this: "Nappy headed hoes," Really? This comment is suppose to be taken as an joke? Hmm. Don't see the funny. Maybe he and I have a different sense of humor. Perhaps he would think it would be hilarious if I called him a cracker-ass shitslice?
Maybe I've been to one-too-many sensitivity trainings but I don't find any racial humor (especially when it resorts to name calling) funny.
Come on Imus! The least you can do is make fun of the team for being from the Armpit of America.
4/04/2007
Reasons why I will be an awesome aunt
A) I like to give children candy and I'm not talking about the creepy man in a van way. I'm talking about getting the kid nice and riled up so the parents have to deal with it later in the night. Yes, I'm evil. Here is photographic evidence. That is my cousin's baby Alana at my sister's Superbowl party. I was feeding her Nerds and Pixies Sticks. That is my hand with the Nerds and that is her face in sugar-high glee:
I like her dress in the picture. I wish they made it in big girl sizes so I could look just as cute.
B) I'm one of the kids. At family functions, you can usually find me playing some type of game with my little cousins or joining them on the playground equipment. We have discussions about That's So Raven and Hannah Montana. One time I was trying to explain to my 7-year-old cousin that I was an adult and her response was, "Nuh-uh."
C) I tend to talk to kids like adults. I speak in complete sentences. I ask them about their day/school/family like I really care (and guess what...I do). Maybe this is why kids like me. I don't treat them like pets or little babies with the "baby" talk. All kids like to feel like they are bigger than they really are.
D) Recently my sister told me that while her and her husband were discussing possible guardians if *knock on wood* anything were to happen to them and they told me that I was one of them. She explained that she would want someone that would be open minded like me. I like to think it has to do with my general approach to life, where I don't take things too seriously but at the same time I am very realistic, stable and responsible.
E) Lets just be honest here. I will not, or rather never, be the aunt with the money/material things. Any future offspring of my siblings should not be expecting extravagant presents from me. What they should be expecting is a sarcastic sense of humor, frank discussions on taboo topics like politics/sex/religion/money etc., moments of embarrassment from anything I may say or do, unwelcome opinions on the way that they live their lives, and insults/fists to be thrown at anyone that crosses them. Most importantly, I will be the aunt that the kids want to live with when they are ready to runaway from home and my rickety futon will be waiting for them.
This isn't a reason, but I thought I would share a photo of my cousin's second baby, Isabella:
I like her dress in the picture. I wish they made it in big girl sizes so I could look just as cute.
B) I'm one of the kids. At family functions, you can usually find me playing some type of game with my little cousins or joining them on the playground equipment. We have discussions about That's So Raven and Hannah Montana. One time I was trying to explain to my 7-year-old cousin that I was an adult and her response was, "Nuh-uh."
C) I tend to talk to kids like adults. I speak in complete sentences. I ask them about their day/school/family like I really care (and guess what...I do). Maybe this is why kids like me. I don't treat them like pets or little babies with the "baby" talk. All kids like to feel like they are bigger than they really are.
D) Recently my sister told me that while her and her husband were discussing possible guardians if *knock on wood* anything were to happen to them and they told me that I was one of them. She explained that she would want someone that would be open minded like me. I like to think it has to do with my general approach to life, where I don't take things too seriously but at the same time I am very realistic, stable and responsible.
E) Lets just be honest here. I will not, or rather never, be the aunt with the money/material things. Any future offspring of my siblings should not be expecting extravagant presents from me. What they should be expecting is a sarcastic sense of humor, frank discussions on taboo topics like politics/sex/religion/money etc., moments of embarrassment from anything I may say or do, unwelcome opinions on the way that they live their lives, and insults/fists to be thrown at anyone that crosses them. Most importantly, I will be the aunt that the kids want to live with when they are ready to runaway from home and my rickety futon will be waiting for them.
This isn't a reason, but I thought I would share a photo of my cousin's second baby, Isabella:
Who Knew? Alanis Morissette is funny
Here she is doing a cover of Black Eyed Peas's "My Humps." If there is anything I love more in the world, it is radically different covers of ridiculous pop songs.
4/02/2007
This is how much I love my family
My teenage cousin just had her second child this weekend. Another girl that was named Isabella Marie. She decided to come into the world hip first, so the doctors insisted that my cousin get a c-section. By the time I got to the hospital, all my family was already there and my cousin was out of surgery, nice and doped up.
The asshole of a "baby daddy" was there. It took all the courage in the world for me not to even mouth the words "I will kill you" to him. Maybe it was the fact that his mother was there that made me be civil to him. He is also more than a head shorter than me, so the fight would not be fair. When I jokingly told my cousin that the next time I saw her I was giving her Sex Ed 101, the dipshit laughed and I stared daggers at him.
My sister was present during the labor and was even recording the happenings before it was discovered that Isabella was coming out breech. The video, was sadly hilarious. The doctors were telling my cousin to not push, and she was telling them to shut up, she was going to push anyway. The phrase, "Where is the doctor, that little bastard," could be heard (even though my cousin insists that she said, 'can he come a little faster'). Also, as she was starting to push the doctor said, "Oh wait...it looks like..."
My cousin: "It looks like what?"
Doctor: "She's coming out breech."
Cousin: "What's breech?"
Doctor: "Butt first"
Cousin: "Does that mean I need a c-section?"
Doctor: "Yes."
Cousin: *starts crying in disappointment* "Oh no....Get it out now!"
It was funny how quickly her mood changed.
Later, the doctors were showing the baby in the nursery. My mom was looking through the glass holding my cousin's other baby saying, "Oh she's so cute! She's going to be prettier than you." This is my family's sense of humor...and it was recorded. Any child born into our family needs to learn how to read sarcasm and/or get our twisted sense of humor or at least take it with a grain of salt.
The second night she was in the hospital, the baby's fuckhead father decided that he needed to rest and refused to stay in the hospital with my cousin (even though he ended up partying that night--I wonder why I hate him). My aunt had to go home to take care of her other baby and my uncle had to sleep in order to go to work the next day. I was the only one that could stay the night with her ( in reality she didn't need anyone because the nurses could take the baby in the nursery and bring her back when it was time for her to feed). My cousin just didn't want to stay by herself and she was scared of the baby being in the nursery while she slept. I'm glad I as there because when it was time for my cousin to breastfeed, she would always fall asleep with the baby in her arms. So I would burp, change and swaddle the baby (and put my cousin's boob back away) when necessary. I couldn't get any sleep (I know..I should try going through labor myself and then complain). Anytime I was dozing off, the baby would make a small noise and I would jump up and see what was wrong.
See, I told you I love my family.
Also during the weekend I met a few of my also-knocked-up-friends-of-my-cousin and felt close to tears looking at them. They just think motherhood is SOOOOO cool. I feel bad for them, but most importantly I feel bad for their children. What was weird though is one of my cousin's friends (one that was not pregnant)had a ton of questions for me, about my job. My cousin's friends never have questions for me. I am a non-Sheboyganite, childless college grad with a job therefore I am boring. Kids these days!
The asshole of a "baby daddy" was there. It took all the courage in the world for me not to even mouth the words "I will kill you" to him. Maybe it was the fact that his mother was there that made me be civil to him. He is also more than a head shorter than me, so the fight would not be fair. When I jokingly told my cousin that the next time I saw her I was giving her Sex Ed 101, the dipshit laughed and I stared daggers at him.
My sister was present during the labor and was even recording the happenings before it was discovered that Isabella was coming out breech. The video, was sadly hilarious. The doctors were telling my cousin to not push, and she was telling them to shut up, she was going to push anyway. The phrase, "Where is the doctor, that little bastard," could be heard (even though my cousin insists that she said, 'can he come a little faster'). Also, as she was starting to push the doctor said, "Oh wait...it looks like..."
My cousin: "It looks like what?"
Doctor: "She's coming out breech."
Cousin: "What's breech?"
Doctor: "Butt first"
Cousin: "Does that mean I need a c-section?"
Doctor: "Yes."
Cousin: *starts crying in disappointment* "Oh no....Get it out now!"
It was funny how quickly her mood changed.
Later, the doctors were showing the baby in the nursery. My mom was looking through the glass holding my cousin's other baby saying, "Oh she's so cute! She's going to be prettier than you." This is my family's sense of humor...and it was recorded. Any child born into our family needs to learn how to read sarcasm and/or get our twisted sense of humor or at least take it with a grain of salt.
The second night she was in the hospital, the baby's fuckhead father decided that he needed to rest and refused to stay in the hospital with my cousin (even though he ended up partying that night--I wonder why I hate him). My aunt had to go home to take care of her other baby and my uncle had to sleep in order to go to work the next day. I was the only one that could stay the night with her ( in reality she didn't need anyone because the nurses could take the baby in the nursery and bring her back when it was time for her to feed). My cousin just didn't want to stay by herself and she was scared of the baby being in the nursery while she slept. I'm glad I as there because when it was time for my cousin to breastfeed, she would always fall asleep with the baby in her arms. So I would burp, change and swaddle the baby (and put my cousin's boob back away) when necessary. I couldn't get any sleep (I know..I should try going through labor myself and then complain). Anytime I was dozing off, the baby would make a small noise and I would jump up and see what was wrong.
See, I told you I love my family.
Also during the weekend I met a few of my also-knocked-up-friends-of-my-cousin and felt close to tears looking at them. They just think motherhood is SOOOOO cool. I feel bad for them, but most importantly I feel bad for their children. What was weird though is one of my cousin's friends (one that was not pregnant)had a ton of questions for me, about my job. My cousin's friends never have questions for me. I am a non-Sheboyganite, childless college grad with a job therefore I am boring. Kids these days!
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