My...those are nice fallopian tubes you have

I hate going out to drink in Sheboygan. There is something about the chance of running into old classmates that makes me want to vomit. But I will go out if there is a special reason. And this past weekend there was two: My sister and brother-in-law actually going out for the first time in a long time and my friend Kim coming home from South Carolina.

Let me explain my friend Kim before I go on. She loves to start conversations with new and random people. Usually she will start with an oddball opening, or trying to convince the people that she is someone that she is not. A good example of this is her telling people that I am a ballerina.

So my mission for the night, was to try out Kim's new pick up line: "Excuse me, but I thought you would like to know that I have really nice fallopian tubes." Normally my reaction to this would be, "Fuck yeah Kim. There is no way I will do that." Unfortunately I am very susceptible to peer pressure, so with Kim, my sister and brother-in-law cheering me on, I spotted some non-threatening guy and decided to try it out. Here's how it went down:

Me: Excuse me guys, but I am going to say something to you and I just want your immediate reaction to it.
Guys: Ok. Go.
Me: Well, I have really nice fallopian tubes.
Guys: *Nervous laugh*
Guy A: No one has ever said that to me before. And I am kind of turned off right now.
Guy B: Besides, you wouldn't know how your fallopian tubes look like. I would know because my mom is a gynecologist.

*some random talking about guy b's mom being a gyno and other pick up lines*

Me: *after some awkward silence and staring at each other* Uhhhh..So, I don't know what else to say. Would you like to hear a joke?
Guys: Yes.

*I tell a dirty joke involving Cinderella and Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater.*

Me: *Immediately following the joke* Yeah! High Five! *I high five both of them*
Guys: *Laugh and look at each other like they think I'm weird*
Guy A: Ok, so what are you drinking because I'm buying?

Yeah...that's right. That line got me not only one free drink, but two.