We all have standards

While looking through Found Magazine I found this little gem. It looks to me, like it is a list of "marriageable qualities" that some girl made. I like how her list becomes more superficial as it goes on. At least she seems to start off with "good/moral" qualities. It seems like the good girl version of "Mary Van Note's Rules on Dating Mary Van Note by Mary Van Note." Note: If you decided to Google her be warned that her stuff is not safe for work and not safe for anyone that is shy about sex humor. I think she is funny.

You know...I have standards too. I never actually wrote them down on paper (or on the Internet) but I keep a running list in my head, and yes, it is mostly superficial. Here it is, not listed in order of importance.

1. I will not date anyone that wears white shoes or white hats. People that do this are douche bags. This statement is a little extreme. 60% of white shoes/hat wearers are douches and that douchiest are the ones that are really concerned with the brightness of the whiteness.

2. No hunters. (No, I do not belong to PETA). I live in Wisconsin, so this is hard to find.

3. No Nascar fans. Especially the ones that wear these jackets. Ew.

4. No Toby Keith/Kenny Chesney fans. Well the music thing can keep on going. No Nickeback, Seether, Daughtery and anything like this. I also hate music snobs.

5. Do not come at me with flowers and/or candy and even a song/poem written for me. This is corny. Corniness makes me uncomfortable and not in a blushing/giddy way. More like a "get me out of here" type of way.

6. Must be funny. All the time.

7. Don't be prettier than me. Oh, you can be better looking than me, that's no problem, just don't be prettier. What does this mean? If it takes longer to get ready than me, if your wardrobe costs more than mine, if there is product in your hair, if you smell better than me (high possibility) you might be prettier than me.

8. I don't really have a problem with facial hair. It can be funny, it can be hot. But you know what is not hot and not funny? Soul patches.

9. Sensitive guys need not apply. I will make you cry...a lot. And when you cry, I will point and laugh.

10. Must be tolerable to my religious views (or lack there of), moments of airheadedness, and my constant jokes that I will be making about you.

11. Must hate Styrofoam as much as I do.

That is all I can think of right at this moment. I swear that I am not picky.