John Mayer: Why do I care?

Ok, so this news has been around forever but I am bored and feel like airing my feeling on this matter:

John Mayer and Jessica Simpson

I am not a John Mayer fan. His music grates my nerves. It reminds me of the stuff of frats and sororities and all this Aeropostale. Also, I don't really find him all that attractive. I will give him that he has his times that he looks ok-to-hot but I just chalk that up to me liking tall and lean guys. But other than that, he looks kind of funny. I can't put my finger on what exactly it is but I do remember reading somewhere a funny comparison, of which I cannot remember (I googled the term "John Mayer looks like" and came up with a whole funny list of outcomes which I will end with).

So with all this music hatred and "meh" attitude on looks, why am I so disappointed in JM dipping into the JS sauce? I had to go and have a little bit of respect for him because the dude is quite funny. Anyone that can say: "You might describe a "phase" as that year you spent in Boston, or the six months you hung with that ham radio salesman in Guam. (Do your thing, mom!)" And make an entire post about his Jif peanut butter spreader idea (seen at his blog) is ok to me. (The first time I found out he was funny was seeing his special "John Mayer Has a TV Show" on Vh1 and he got feedback about his "image" from a focus group of his fans. This basically ended up making fun of himself and kind of, probably unintentionally, his fans for being all weepy and fangirly). He just makes me chuckle, secretly though because I gotta keep my cool kid club card.

All this quasi-respect goes down the drain for dating a girl that was once married to that bo-hunk Lachey, sang...well any of her songs, and did and said all the things she did on Newlyweds. Oh, and lets not forget that she has a creepy dad too. Icky.

So here is what you find when you google "John Mayer looks like":

John Mayer Looks Like And Probably Is A Child Molester
John Mayer looks like Cesar from The Cabinet of Dr Caligari with his dark-circled eyes and deadsy stare
John Mayer looks like he’s hit the pipe one too many times
John Mayer looks like a bloated corpse
John Mayer looks like Edward Scissorhands
John Mayer looks like Mark “Zombie” Anthony
John Mayer looks like he could have been a Brady Bunch kid
John Mayer looks like he is going to throw up when he performs
John Mayer looks like a puckered anus
John Mayer looks like a character from “Where the Wild Things Are"
JOhn mayer looks like a muppet

none of these is what I was looking for, but I would like to share my personal favorite:

John Mayer looks like a prematurely born fetus

Wow, this post was a waste of my time.