Some more good stuff I almost forgot about

Remember Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theatre? That crap was awesome.

I still remember, as a youngin', my mom would take me and my sibling on outings to the local public library. We would sit around, read books, sign-up for some computer game time (Oregon Trail baby!!!!~~~~I always seemed to die of dysentery or cholera). Before we left we almost always checked to see if there were any Faerie Tale Theatre videos available to check out. They had to be ones we didn't already see of course but we almost always left with one we never saw before.

Because all things seem to be exaggerated as children, I thought there were millions and millions of "episodes" but as it turned out there were only 26. Some of them, I don't even remember, such as The Boy Who Left Home to Find Out About the Shivers and the Snow Queen.

I almost forgot how awesome they were. Fairy Tales, or Faerie Tales-whatever, are almost always super cool to kids. Since I was the girliest girly girl as a kid, I loved them because I always imagined myself as the princesses and getting rescued by the handsome prince (now I imagine myself as being the kick ass princess rescuing the hot prince).

As an adult now, I can appreciate that some very awesome actors and directors worked in the productions. And also there is the nostalgia factor. Who doesn't like nostalgia?

The installments that I remember and love are:

The Tale of the Frog Prince (Teri Garr and Robin Williams)
Sleeping Beauty (Christopher Reeve)
Goldilocks and the Three Bears (Tatum O'Neil)
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Cinderella (Jennifer Beals, Matthew Brodrick)
The Princess Who Never Laughed (Ellen Barkin and Howie Mandel)

Mick Jagger even stared in one!

One downside was that Shelley Duvall creeped me out, and kind of still does.

Negative Kudos: Entertainment News

A) If I hear another story about Anna Nicole Smith or Britney Spears I may scream, throw myself to the floor, and kick at random people.

B) At the same time...I am 100% enthralled. Its like a quasi-real soap opera. I may as well throw in the towel, buy a trashy tabloid, and admit to myself I have an additive guilty pleasure. *Shakes fists towards sky* DAMN YOU MARY HART!

Why YouTube is cool sometimes...

It introduces you to cool artists, such as this guy- Phil Hansen. It makes me wish I was artistically talented.

The Heroes Cast is Pretty

This is really just a way for me to talk about the prettiness.

Nathan Petrelli played by Adrian Pasdar: I will describe the character as upper crusty hot. The kind that is so high strung and uptight, you can't but help to find it endearing. I ask the writers of Heroes to implement more shirtless flying scenes. Stat.


Peter Petrelli (oooo alliteration) played by Milo Ventimiglia: His milkshake brings all the 12-25 year old fangirls (and some fanboys) to the yard. I would describe his appeal as soft and sensitive hot. He is just so deep.


Gabriel Gray AKA Sylar played by Zachary Quinto: Scary hot. Its hard to admit you find him attractive, what with the head slicing and maybe-brain eating.


Isaac Mendez played by Santiago Cabrera: He's an ex-heroin addict. So that means girls automatically have to be attracted to that character. Its the bad-boy-most-be-me-to-be-the-one-to-reform kind of hot.


Mohinder Suresh played by Sendhil Ramaurthy: He has a bunch of semi-to-very annoying voice overs. He's Professor Sex.

More to be continued later.

Swords are for heroes...or samurais and dragon slayers

I can't even begin to talk about the ridiculousness of this story:

A man, believing to hear a woman crying for help during rape, enters the neighbor's apartment. The man had no telephone so he could not call for police, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. He kicked down the door, only to find that the cries for help were actually coming from a pornographic movie.

Weirdest thing of all...the almost hero, entered the apartment with a sword. A SWORD.

Kind of weirder, when the police came to arrest the would be hero (criminal trespass while using a dangerous weapon, criminal damage to property while using a dangerous weapon and disorderly conduct while using a dangerous weapon) the porn watching man showed the police the spot in the movie he believed caused the misunderstanding. Boy, I hope he made some popcorn for his guests.

At least, from what I've read, that neighbors (even the one that got, um, interrupted) are glad that someone in the area cares enough to take action when they believe someone is in trouble. True but...a sword?

Negative Kudos: Tim Hardaway

Former Miami Heat basketball player, Tim Hardaway joins the long line of homophobic assholes by making some harsh statements about homosexuals shortly after former Utah Jazz player John Amaechi came out of the closet. Here is what he had to say:

First of all, I wouldn't want him on my team. And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don't think that is right. I don't think he should be in the locker room while we are in the locker room.

Yeah, because he would totally molest all his teammates one by one because as a gay man he is attracted to every single man in the world. Oh and also this:

You know I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States. So yeah, I don't like it.

And:

If you have 12 other ballplayers in your locker room that's upset and can't concentrate and always worried about him in the locker room or on the court or whatever, it's going to be hard for your teammates to win and accept him as a teammate.

I sincerely hope that not all players are as hateful as you, asshat.

Oh, and what a surprise, he feed the media a nicely prepared kiss ass apology not that much later:

"Yes, I regret it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said I hate gay people, or anything like that. That was my mistake."

Really sincere!

How to get a free cup-o-joe from the corner coffee shop

1. Go to your car in the morning and turn on.

2. While car is running, "unlock" doors and go outside to get snow off windows. Purposely hit the lock in stead of unlock button, while making sure your purse, cell phone, AAA card, money etc is inside the car.

3. When done cleaning the car, attempt to open door and looked shocked when you realize that the door is locked, with the car running. You were so sure that you hit that damn unlock button.

4. Enter corner coffee shop, where you know police officers are every morning, with car brush in hand and ask for help to get into your car.

5. You totally already have prior knowledge that Milwaukee Police no longer help in these situation (because of some BS about liability on "breaking" the car's power windows by accidentally messing with wires). So they tell you to call AAA.

6. Give the near tears look in your face when you tell them your AAA card, cell phone and house keys are locked in your car. Police officer will then lend you cell phone and get the AAA number for you.

7. Owner of coffee shop will see you sniffling (in case you can't cry for real, get a cold real quick like me) and said owner will demand that you take a free cup of coffee for all your troubles.

All this will cost you is:

• 20 minutes waiting on hold for a representative.
• Another 10 minutes while representative tries to find your 16 digit membership number, which you for some reason just can't memorize.
• Then another 60 minutes while you wait for the damn tow truck which takes about one minute to unlock your damn door.
• Oh, and lets not forget the gas from the still running car.
• Being late for work.
  

I hate my luck.

Snow, Snow, Soft White Snow

Now to break the cold snap, the weather decides to turn to...Snowy. Yayyyyyyyyy. Actually I have no problem with snow, or even snow storms. There is actually something very peaceful about snowfalls. Of course, I am only referring to the times that you are staring outside the window from the safety of your own home. If you are staring out the window at a snowstorm from anywhere else, you are not feeling anything other than anxiety about the car ride home. Or maybe that's just me, and how I am feeling right now. Except its not really snow-storming outside, more like just snowing. I'm just a really excitable person.

The title of this blog comes from a play I was in when I was about 6 years old. It was the called the Selfish Giant, I believe. I was...wait for it...a snow flake. It was my job to come in, do a choreographed dance and "wilt" the flowers (one of which was my sister). All while I, along with the other 4-5 snowflakes, sang the following song:

Snow, snow, soft white snow
Snow, snow, gentle snow
Cover the earth with your blanket white
And softly say goodnight, goodnight

Yes, I remember the song, but only because my mother has me recorded practicing the song and dance. She likes to torture me with the video.

It was to be my acting debut, but alas, it was not meant to be. I was only able to do a few shows before I was infected with the dreaded chicken pox.

I probably consoled myself by putting on the Captain and Tennille record and lip syncing Muskrat Love to myself in the mirror. I may or may not have actually done that as a child.

Negative Kudos: Arctic Blast, Beater Cars and Colds

Not my drawing, or actually me

It has been almost a week now that each day started off with (and pretty much remained for the rest of the day) at negative degrees Fahrenheit. Just imagine what the windchill contributed to that cold.

Not my actual car

I thank the heavens, that my agnostic soul questions exists, that my car was able to start and run. Now if only that beater could actually dispense heat. Yeah, that would be nice but at least the car is running.

Not actually me

Also, as I write this, I am sweating my balls off in my over heated office. Well, I don't have balls, but if I did, they would be gone due to this sweat box. The fact that I am wearing layered clothes (for the cold car rides to and from home) and have a cold AGAIN do not help my rising body temperature. Yes, that's right. I am trying to obtain the goal of getting a cold every month for one year straight. So far, I have October-February. Wish me luck for my continued success.

Negative Kudos: Senator Biden

Senator Joe Biden (D-Delaware) has been in the news for making the following statement regarding Senator Barack Obama (D-Illinois)***its a supposed compliment***:

"first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."

Mmmmm. Smells like ignorance.

Anytime that any black person is describes as "articulate" I wince. Aren't all politicans, regardless of race, supposed to be articulate and bright? But to give the guy some credit, even our own President of the United States of America has described Obama as "articulate."

And CLEAN? What the fuck is up with that? In this story, he later explained that by clean, he meant "fresh/new."

The statement comes off as saying, all African Americans that are in the mainstream, are not intelligent, don't speak well, DIRTY!!!, and ugly. Sorry Condi Rice, Oprah, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell, Louis Farrakhan etc etc.

I am hoping that Biden learns how to filter the words coming from his head to his mouth.

Oh, and a Happy Black History Month to all.