I'm Really Good at Tinder Too: My one month experience

When it comes to dating I had a long standing stance that I would NEVER do online/social mobile app dating. I had three main reasons for not doing so:
 A) PEOPLE AREN'T REAL - I once witnessed a person (friend of a friend) set up a fake profile just to prank potential suitors. Catfishing before that phrase was even a thing. I feel bad now for not speaking up and telling that person it was a horrible and mean move.
B) PEOPLE ARE LIARS - I once had a friend (who was in a long-term, long-distance, committed relationship) set up profiles on several different dating websites, looking for a little side action. Scumbaggy on its own, he then attempted to have me help lie to the women he met online (all while his girlfriend disliked me because she thought something was happening between me and him). Needless to say, I am no longer friends with that person.
C) I WAS JUST NOT CUT OUT FOR IT - The most important part of online dating is to have a good profile picture to lure in potential mates. And as we have previously established, I am not great at taking pictures. I just didn't trust that I would do well on superficial based dating sites.

Over the past 12 months I had become more relaxed in every aspect of my life. Essentially I had stop caring what strangers thought about me especially anonymous people on online/social media-type dating platforms. I also thought, what's the harm in trying to meet new people? It was not like I was having a ton of success finding (sober) men who were interested in me in person.

So, when a friend of mine became curious what Tinder looked like, and couldn't in good conscience create a profile because she was engaged to be married, asked me if she could create one for me AND to play around with it, I agreed.

First, for those that still don't know what Tinder is (where have you been?): It's a dating mobile app (however I should note here that many people see it as a "hook-up" app rather than a dating app). You upload pictures of yourself and a short description of yourself. Then you set your preferences in others: gender, age range, and location (distance from you). Next your possible choices start popping up. A single picture of an individual along with the age and location of that person pops up. If you want more pictures or the description of the person, you click on the picture. Whenever you make your decision on that individual you swipe right for "Yes" or swipe left for "No". If both you and the other person both say "Yes", the app alerts you of the match and you can either start the conversation with that person or keep it in your "storage" for later conversation (a lot of the time, people do this to wait for the other person to start the conversation).

So my friend found the following pictures to use for my profile:

Because boobs

I was impressed with her selections because they were good pictures but then I felt guilty because there weren't a lot of photos of me straight on and the pictures were perhaps not a great representation of what I look like everyday. The pictures were probably a little too promising and would probably disappoint a dude when they met me in person. But, like I said earlier, I no longer care.

My friend's description of myself went something like: "Brewer's fan. Smart, sassy, funny beautiful inside and out. My friend wrote this description for me." Flattering, but once again I felt a little misleading. I'd agree with the first and last sentence.

So here is quick highlights of my experience and thought process using this app:

• I always would look at the person's description and other pictures before making a decision.
• I was looking for humor, intelligence, and someone that showed they didn't take themselves or the Tinder app too seriously.
• If they had no description of themselves I would say no.
• If they only had group pictures with no indication of who they were within the photo, I would say no (why so insecure?).
• One of the conversations I had with a potential match accused me of being a "Tinderbot" because "None of my pictures looked alike." I was actually flattered by that accusation. He thought my pictures were good enough for someone to steal. He ended up blocking me. Dang, just lost the love of my life.
• One guy immediately gave me his personal number and because I didn't call him within 24 hours, he left me a not so nice message and blocked me. I'm glad that he did me a favor.
• Whenever I accidentally swiped "No" on people I was interested in, I let out a yelp and a soft "damn". I had lost about 6 future husbands this way.
• On the other hand it was terrifying when you accidentally swiped "Yes". There is no way to undo that. Just hope that there isn't a match. Unfortunately one of the times I did this, I matched with the guy and he messaged me immediately. Luckily, once you match a person you can select unmatch, which is what I did for this person.
• When I would get a notification of a match, it was terrifying. My first reaction was to chuck my phone across the room and hide behind a piece of furniture. That guy knew that I was interested! How embarrassing! Clearly I have problems.
• A majority of the guys that I did start a conversation with wanted to see me that same night, and when I said no, I never heard from that guy again. I wonder why this app is considered a hook-up app?
• If your a person that likes to date one person at a time (and hope the person you're dating feels the same way) don't do Tinder. Most people on Tinder are dating several people at the same time. I mean it's smart on their part, Law of Averages indicate the more people you date the more likely you will be to find a steady partner.
• Luckily for me, I never got any of those gross, overly sexual come ons. Even "on paper" I look like a person that doesn't put up with that type of behavior. 
• If you're a person that thinks too positively or does not know how to read situations, don't do Tinder. You'll think things are going great! Great enough to deactivate your Tinder profile, only to be so, so wrong.

So here is my one month Tinder "data": I ended up swiping "Yes" for probably 30% of the profiles I saw. I probably got a total of 10-15 matches. Of those matches, 8 conversations were started. I personally didn't start a ton of conversations, because (like in real life) I am too awkward to know how to start the conversations. From those conversations that did occur, 4 dates were set up. However only two went through to actual dates. But you know what? Two dates in a month for me is a huge win! So basically I am now a hot commodity. Don't hate!

Even with this "great success" I had, I will not be rejoining Tinder anytime soon (or possibly ever). First, because NECK BRACE CITY. Second, dating is by far the last thing on my mind: I am too focused on my own health, returning to work, bills, and family issues. Third, from my experience, the type of person that uses Tinder is just not the type of person that I should be dating. I am, surprisingly, too traditional for it. Clearly I need to take my chances with the drunk dudes.