5/06/2011

Weird People Like To Talk To Me

I have stated before that while waiting for/riding the bus I attempt to ward off random strangers from talking to me by wearing sunglasses, headphones and a mean-ass look on my face. It works 90% of the time. That 10% of the time that it doesn't work usually results in an event similar to this:

While walking to the bus stop after work, I saw a man on a bike (with baskets full of trash) talking to two terrified looking college-aged kids. I stood about 5 feet away with my back towards them. Part of me knew that I was next in line for conversation if I made eye contact and based on the looks of those kids, it wasn't the most fun conversation.

I quickly looked out the corner of my eye, to monitor the situation, I noticed "man-on-bike" was now dancing a gig in front of the still terrified kids and talking animatedly. Once he was done dancing, I saw the terrified-dude-college-kid hand over a cigarette to man-on-bike, as an apparent plea to leave them alone. After this my attention was fully focused in the opposite direction, still hoping the bus would come quickly before I was next.

Sometime had passed when I sensed a body very close to me. I turned slightly to my right to find the "man-on-bike" was about an inch away from being nose to nose to me. He was saying something to me, but because I had my ear buds in, I couldn't hear what he was saying. I removed the ear buds and said, "Yes?"

MoB: "Do you have a light" waves cigarette all up in my face
Me: "No, I don't smoke. Its bad for you."
MoB: unsarcastically "What!?! Oh yeah, I heard it causes cancer."
Me: "It can indeed do that."
MoB: "You're so smart."........"Kiss me!"
Me: "No. Uh-uh. Nope. Not going to happen."
MoB: dejected "Oh. Ok....Do you have a light?"
Me: "No. I still don't."
MoB: "You're smart!"

Then the bus arrived to save me from another request for a kiss.

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