Fashion Advice from a Hobo

I am well aware that I should not be dispensing any fashion advice or criticism. I have been told that I dress like a hobo (a cute hobo of course) and I still have and wear clothing items that I had in high school. (Sure, you think that its an accomplishment, having not gained any weight in 10+ years, but really it means that I was kind of big to start off). Regardless of this, I have two fashion complaints, that I just can't get my head around.

1. New-ish fashion trend - Feather hair extensions! - So it's probably not all that new, but remember I am from the Midwest, so trends tend to hit us about a decade later. I was completely oblivious to this trend even when it became popular in Milwaukee, until my friend pointed it out to me (big ups to Ember). Now I see it all of the time! Google Image it if you need to know what I am talking about. Not a fan. I do not understand why this is cool. It reminds me of Ke$ha, and whenever I think of her, I feel slightly dirty, and I am a fan of feeling clean.

2. White sweat socks with dress shoes. Why do guys do this? It irritates me. I feel for the guys that have foot issues (ew) so they get a pass. But those guys that have every else perfect. Nice shirt/pant combo. Everything looks nicely pressed. Hair/beard/nails are perfectly groomed. Then....bam!.....white sweat socks combined with the black/brown dress shoe. Its like their significant other/mom got them dressed but failed to think about the socks. Who knows what is going on with the underwear situation!

Once again I will highlight that I am currently dressed and coiffed like a hobo. I am clearly the one to judge.

I Love People Watching...Especially When Said People are Dancing!

My worked asked me to staff another client's Annual Meeting. Having never attended another clients' meeting, I agreed, hoping that I would learn a few additional tricks for my own client's meeting (how do they run their registration, exhibit hall, staffing, etc).

This particular client has attendees that are your typical science nerds (P.S. I LOVE Science Nerds). These particular nerds love their scientific sessions, and will not miss a nanosecond of the presentations. Their breaks between sessions are used for restroom breaks/refreshment pick ups and walking to the next rooms. At first, I was witnessing 0 minutes of networking/socializing in the hallways, which is completely different from the annual meetings I run....But then I saw the other spectrum of their personalities.

One particular thing that this meeting does, that my client's meeting does not do, is hold a Friday night party, with a cash bar, snacks and a live band. This year's band was an 80's cover band, who were really good! The attendees seemed to dig them as well, because about three quarters of the party people were up and dancing. They had formed a large dance circle. If they saw one person standing alone even slightly moving the upperhalf of their body, they grabbed that person and pulled them into the dance circle. It was an adorable sense of science nerd community. They danced like no one was watching or at least like they didn't care what they people watching were thinking (which was good for them, because I was on the sidelines giggling softly at the white-boy shuffles).

Normally you only get this type of action at weddings, but apparently you get them at conferences as well!

Weird People Like To Talk To Me

I have stated before that while waiting for/riding the bus I attempt to ward off random strangers from talking to me by wearing sunglasses, headphones and a mean-ass look on my face. It works 90% of the time. That 10% of the time that it doesn't work usually results in an event similar to this:

While walking to the bus stop after work, I saw a man on a bike (with baskets full of trash) talking to two terrified looking college-aged kids. I stood about 5 feet away with my back towards them. Part of me knew that I was next in line for conversation if I made eye contact and based on the looks of those kids, it wasn't the most fun conversation.

I quickly looked out the corner of my eye, to monitor the situation, I noticed "man-on-bike" was now dancing a gig in front of the still terrified kids and talking animatedly. Once he was done dancing, I saw the terrified-dude-college-kid hand over a cigarette to man-on-bike, as an apparent plea to leave them alone. After this my attention was fully focused in the opposite direction, still hoping the bus would come quickly before I was next.

Sometime had passed when I sensed a body very close to me. I turned slightly to my right to find the "man-on-bike" was about an inch away from being nose to nose to me. He was saying something to me, but because I had my ear buds in, I couldn't hear what he was saying. I removed the ear buds and said, "Yes?"

MoB: "Do you have a light" waves cigarette all up in my face
Me: "No, I don't smoke. Its bad for you."
MoB: unsarcastically "What!?! Oh yeah, I heard it causes cancer."
Me: "It can indeed do that."
MoB: "You're so smart."........"Kiss me!"
Me: "No. Uh-uh. Nope. Not going to happen."
MoB: dejected "Oh. Ok....Do you have a light?"
Me: "No. I still don't."
MoB: "You're smart!"

Then the bus arrived to save me from another request for a kiss.

All the Celebrities I Will See In My Life Have Been Seen In One Day This Past Weekend

While in Washington DC, I happened to stay in the same hotel that was holding the White House Correspondent's Dinner. Win! While I was not smart/fast enough to take photos, I can share a list of the celebrities along with a short story of my "interaction" (if any) with them.

Seth Meyers (started by my friend Ember shouting at him from my hotel room, followed by being within in 10 feet of him in the same elevator bank, followed by finding out that he was just two hotel rooms away from me.)
Ian Somerhalder
Chris Colfer
Heather Morris
Bradley Cooper (shorter than i would expect, but dare I say it...if possible the camera makes him uglier. The man is good looking and super nice to his fans who he went directly up to and hugged).
Carmello Anthony and his his Yaya (or is it Lala? I don't know, I just remember her being an MTV VJ).
Joan Rivers (to quote Ember, "She looks like a hot mess, but I love her.")
Selma Hayek (She was trying to go the direction where there were less gawkers, most likely due to the fact that she wasn't yet dressed up. She looked gorgeous either way. Ember and I spotted her. We loud whispered, "Selma!" She turned to look at us and waved).
Mila Kunis, who in real life looks like she weighs as much as my not quite 4-year old niece
Andy Samberg
Bill Hader
Chase Crawford
Matthew Morrison
Arianna Huffington - who I was standing with while waiting for an elevator the following morning. I kept on looking at her through the side of my eye, deciding whether or not it was her. I was so embarrassed at myself that I just decided to walk in the Executive Lounge to pick up a cup of coffee instead. As I walked away I heard her speak. Yep, it was her.
Norah O'Donnell
Janet Napolitano
Ben Bernake
Geraldo Rivera (when we saw him, he was smiling and waving to the crowd while he also appeared to be following a rather pissed-off looking younger blond. He kept on following her until he appeared to have disappeared, then he came back without her, but he was with..
Cee-lo Green - who really appears to love his fans (or maybe he just loves the attention).
Kevin Johnson (formally of the Suns, current Mayor of Sacramento)
Brian Williams - I waved excited to him and yelled, "Hi Brian!" He waved back and pointed behind him and said, "Matthews is behind me, but he is not that important." Side note: Brian Williams is missing three things to being the perfect man - 1. Being age appropriate. 2. Being single. 3. Being in real life.
Chris Matthews (he was behind Brian Williams, and not as important). His hair was a lot more Donald Trumpy than I expected. Speaking of....
Donald Trump - meh. Best thing about him was when someone from the crowd shouted at him, "Hey Donald, I have my birth certificate!"
Lance Armstrong
Anna Paquin
Steven Moyer (both he and Anna were also very gracious to their fans. Love!)
Jane Lynch
John Hamm and his partner (who is also an actress, but I cannot name a show she has been on)
Eric Handler
America Ferrera
Zach Galifanikas (did I spell that right?)
Jeremy Piven
Tim and Tyne Daly
Guy who plays Ken Cosgrove on Mad Men (who is also very handsome in real life).
David and Patricia Arquette
Amy Poehler
Fred Armisen
Jack Macbrayer
Colin Powel
Rosario Dawson (got a friendly wave from her)
Paula Abdul (who Ember pointed out appeared to not know how to navigate the driveway)
Rahm Emanuel (in a very business like manner, I asked if I could shake his hand, and he did)
Rashida Jones
Eliot Spitzer (I noticed many people keeping their distance from him. I wonder why)
Jason Sudeikis - I saw a car approaching him from behind, so I yelled "What out Jason, there's a car behind you!" He turned around to look, got out of the way, and turned to look at me and waved. We are now going to be married, and raised his illegitimate child with January Jones (that last part is all speculation).
Bill O'Reily
Dennis Miller
Will.I.am
Shawn White - The Flying Tomato
John Legend (who is also incredibly handsome in real life) Ember said hello to him as he exited the elevators and he acknowledged her by asking her how she was doing. She responded by turning as red as the The Flying Tomato's hair.
Paul Rudd - Awesome beard. Quite shorter than I would have imagined.
Gayle King - Had probably the longest conversation with her. She is really friendly and humble. No wonder Oprah love her.

I'm pretty sure I failed to mention a person here and there. But you get the point. I saw lots of people. And it was awesome.