Boys say the "sweatest" things to me

First, let me say, that the very first Sweetest Day my mom and dad spent together, my dad gave her a card that said she was the "Sweatest" person he knew. My mom kept it to show people the funny.

Ok, now that I have that out of the way, let me get to the real content of my post:

It doesn't happen that often, but guys do hit on me. Of those guys that hit on me, 99% of the time they are drunk out of their minds. I kid not. When it does happen, oh...comic gold. Lets look at some of the good lines, each bullet point is one new and wonderous boy:

• Random guy in Walgreens: "Hey baby! You're tall like me, lets make babies." Mmmmmm
• Random little guy named Mikey, Micky and Powder (he was wee little white hip-hop dude) after insulting my teeth, and clothing style: "So me and my friend are going back to his place to smoke a bowl, you want to come with?" Your words are undressing me.
• Guy blatantly staring at my breasts: Me-"Are you staring at my boobs?" Him-"No...*stares*...but they are really nice." Ewww.
• After making out and then finding out he has a girlfriend: "So my roommate is single and a really nice guy." Ohhhh where do I sign up?
• Guy this past weekend, after calling me a closed-off liberal hippie, told me I said the stupidest thing he ever heard and telling girls around us that they were sluts (to their face), hands me a napkin with his contact information: "You have 2-5 days before I lose interest." Don't worry, I'm still at day 2. I'm just working up the nerve to email that asshole.

That's is all I can think of. If any friends of family can remember a good story I told them, let me know. I like remembering this crap.