Some Bizarre Things I Found Online Today

• Is this thing actually for real? Ok, I know I'm not a parent and I don't know how hard it is to use a public bathroom when you have a toddler and no stroller, but is it really necessary to put them in a harness and strap them to a stall door?
• My friend Carrie once told my sister and I that she believed that we were born without butt cracks because she never saw us sporting butt cleavage. Her rationale was that with today's style of jeans, whether people liked it or not, you were going to reveal some cleavage of the ass at some point. She never once saw an indent on us. First I do have a butt crack/cleavage. Now the rumours of me being an alien can be laid to rest. Second, now I know I can be involved in this protest. There is nothing better in the world when an individual fights for the rights of individuals to expose their butt cleavage in full glory. You have to know that are forefathers would be doing the same.
• When I first logged into Yahoo today, to check my email, I saw this article displayed in the "in the news" section. Does the other half of "America's Funniest People" (or as some others no her the girl ....um "riding" the hood of the car in the video for White Snake's Here We Go Again), deserve such prominent display? No, I didn't think so. (Ew. I just admitted to watching America's Funniest People and knowing White Snake.)
• Ever have one of those days where you just want to bust some heads, and then you see this and all is well again?

I'm getting sick...again

This will be my third cold since October. One for every month since then. What the frick? It's like my immune system has completely given up on me. Every germ I come into contact with just conquers me.

I blame for the extreme changes in the weather. December 1st we had a blizzard that dump nearly a foot of snow on us. For the next week we had bitterly cold weather. Since then we have been gradually experiencing increased temperatures. Then, just like that, yesterday all the snow that came from the blizzard has basically melted away. My body doesn't like this change.

Because I am bored, I am also going to amuse myself with a top 5. Here it goes:

Top 5 Movies I Almost Forgot About
(movies I watched when I was younger, then go an extended period of time without seeing it, followed by someone mentioning it and me proclaiming, "Oh yeah, I know that movie. I loved that movie!")

1. Monster Squad - About a group of kids that have to battle Count Dracula and other movie monsters (except for Frankenstein's monster who becomes their friend).--Hey speaking of Frankenstein's monster, did you hear that Peter Boyle died? that is sad.--The one awesome part I remember from the movie is the line, "Wolfman's got nards."

2. Little Monsters - I thought about this movie before I noticed it was listed in the "other items customers bought" section of Monster Squad. Anyway, Fred Savage is in this movie. There is a monster that lives under his bed. The monster is gross, so of course it has to be Howie Mandel. The movie kind of frightened me as a kid, so needless to say I liked it a lot. I was a weird kid.

3. Troop Beverly Hills - I'll be honest, I did not/will not almost forget this movie. It is embedded into my soul forever. I must have made my mom rent this movie at least once every two months. I wanted Shelley Long to be my Troop leader, and I wasn't even in Scouts. We don't need no stinkin' patches!

4. License to Drive - Starring the Coreys (Haim and Feldman) this movie is about a guy who fails his driver's test only to fake his passing it so he can take the hot girl (played by Heather Graham) out on a date. I like all Corey movies but I liked this one the most because it was Haim-centered and he was my favorite of the Coreys. My second favorite Corey film is Dream a Little Dream for one reason a lone: "It's a party! Who's got the chips???" Besides, I talked about that movie before.

5. And for the impending holiday season: Santa Claus: The movie - Dudley Moore and John Lithgow. Do I really need to say more? Ok. According to sites that talk about the movie there are essentially two parts. The first part (of which I don't remember) revolves around how Santa Claus became Santa Claus. The second half is set around the theme of saving Christmas from an evil business man and an elf that has strayed. Things I remember from this movie include exploding candy canes and two kids that some how help in the mission to save Santa.

Retrojunk is a good site to reacquaint yourself with some awesome movies (television shows, toys, video games etc.) from your past.

Even though I am no longer in school, I get my own mini winter vacation.

I got a little bit scared yesterday when my boss came into my office hands me a piece of paper and says that I have been there too long and they have to let me go...

*me giving blank stare which whimpers confusion and fright*

...What she really meant to say is that with the calender coming to an end, I have not taken enough paid vacation/personal days that would not roll into the next year if I didn't eat them up by the end of the month. What does this all mean? Well, this means I have Dec 20th-Jan 1 off. No work for almost two weeks. Weee. I do not know what I will do with myself.

P.S. I got news recently that my brother is quitting UW-Madison. Probably the dumbest move he has/will ever make but whatever. I keep on repeating to myself, "It's his life, not mine. It's his life not mine." But if there is any truth to the rumors that he quit because he didn't want to end up "like me" (that being in a 'low paying/no respect job' that isn't representative of my degree) I will have to slap a pinko-commie-turned-capitalist bitch.

P.S.S. Today I am one year older, and I am feeling old.

Boys say the "sweatest" things to me

First, let me say, that the very first Sweetest Day my mom and dad spent together, my dad gave her a card that said she was the "Sweatest" person he knew. My mom kept it to show people the funny.

Ok, now that I have that out of the way, let me get to the real content of my post:

It doesn't happen that often, but guys do hit on me. Of those guys that hit on me, 99% of the time they are drunk out of their minds. I kid not. When it does happen, oh...comic gold. Lets look at some of the good lines, each bullet point is one new and wonderous boy:

• Random guy in Walgreens: "Hey baby! You're tall like me, lets make babies." Mmmmmm
• Random little guy named Mikey, Micky and Powder (he was wee little white hip-hop dude) after insulting my teeth, and clothing style: "So me and my friend are going back to his place to smoke a bowl, you want to come with?" Your words are undressing me.
• Guy blatantly staring at my breasts: Me-"Are you staring at my boobs?" Him-"No...*stares*...but they are really nice." Ewww.
• After making out and then finding out he has a girlfriend: "So my roommate is single and a really nice guy." Ohhhh where do I sign up?
• Guy this past weekend, after calling me a closed-off liberal hippie, told me I said the stupidest thing he ever heard and telling girls around us that they were sluts (to their face), hands me a napkin with his contact information: "You have 2-5 days before I lose interest." Don't worry, I'm still at day 2. I'm just working up the nerve to email that asshole.

That's is all I can think of. If any friends of family can remember a good story I told them, let me know. I like remembering this crap.

So deliciously bad and corny that its Unbelievable!

This weekend I went to visit my friend Kelly who lives near Chicago. After going out for dinner and making our own version of a Sweaty Betty (Schnapps, whisky and sour)she asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. SO I looked at what she had, and I said, "Oh, Teen Witch! I haven't seen that in forever." So we watched it.

I think it was at this scene I turned to her and said, "Why do I NOT own this movie?"