Negative Kudos: Michael Vick

Let's take a look at the controversies thus far:

-Ron Mexico, as an alias while visiting clinics to treat STDs of which sex partners do not know about.
-Flipping off fans while leaving a game.
-Water bottle compartment with questionable substance.

All of these are understandable and/or explainable (I like his explanations to some of these stories, they are hilarious) but this next one just irks me.

-Vick's property is found to house abused dogs.

Even if he doesn't live there he should have known what was going on at a place that he owns. I mean...60 dogs? That's pretty hard not to know about.



Brodie, from Daily Puppy, is not pleased. He hates athletes like I do.

Everyday I become more and more like my...

People usually end that sentence with saying they become their mom or their dad and normally I would. I do find traits in myself that mirror my mom and my dad. For example, I am like my dad in that I trust other people. WellOK, not so much trust, but more I am willing to help out other people without any expectations of getting paid back (an example of this is whenever our car broke down, my dad never asked or expected a ride from his coworkers but whenever anyone else needed a ride, even to the next city/town/village over, my dad would be the first to volunteer). Of course, the downside to this, is you obviously people can walk all over you. I am like my mom, in that I am a realist and levelheaded. My mom, being the oldest of her siblings, had to play the diplomat in many situations. She taught me to not judge a book by its cover and not draw such quick conclusions on subjects.

Yes, I am like my parents and as I age, I continue to grow more and more like them. However, in reality I think more of my personality actually comes from my Uncle Peter. To this day I still have this weird fear of him. Not like he is going to hit me or anything bad like that, but more of a fear of what he may say to me. No, not even my aunt, who used to stand over my crib and say in a deep voice, "WHAT'S MY AME!," (she was 14 and I was an annoying colicky baby, but still) makes me nervous.

Here are example of situations that cause me to fear him:

-When I was about 5, I along with my brother and sister, asked him to take a picture of us. He said he would, but only if we picked our nose. We did.
-When I would ask for a ride to my middle school mixers (you know the ones where they played jock jams and you would stand around awkwardly during the slow songs---oh wait that was just me)he said he would if I would pay him back...with interest (his nickname was The Operator).
-He gave me a nickname which was originated from a mean nanny character, or was it a mean witch? Well, I know it was a mean old lady.

Basically, its the snarky attitude that make me nervous. However, I find that I am very much like him as an adult. Things I do that remind me of what my uncle would do:

-I use the same type of sarcasm with people of all ages, even children. Its fun to see how long you can tell a kid something that is obviously not true, and see how long they believe you.
-I joke around with my cousins about only showing up at family functions for food.
Whenever I give rides to my brothers or cousins and they go in the backseat and no one sits in the passenger seat, I look back at them and say, "What do I look like, a taxi-cab?"
-My uncle married in his early thirties (which for my family is really really old) and everyone assumed he was going to be a bachelor all his life (he is married with three kids now). I'm on the road to this, except I have the pleasure of being a girl, so its called being an old maid. Oh Joy!
-In general, people being afraid to ask me to do favors for them, in fear of my snarky reactions (which are sarcastic but I do the favors anyway because like I said, I am my father).
-I'm already planning out some mean nicknames to give to my future nieces and nephews. OK I am kind of kidding about that last one.

In all seriousness, I hope to keep my uncles coolness (because he was cool) but I hope I don't instill fear in my sibling's offspring. Or at least those kids better not fear me.***shakes fist***

Here is a picture taken around the time Uncle Peter came back from basic training. I am with my sister, brother and cousin on his lap.



Look at how happy we were to see him. We were so naive.

The wisdom of children

While reading Post Secret today, I came across this quote:

"Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Kids amaze me. Not so much for their knowledge, but for their questions. These questions are the ones that adults never really think about or questions that they don't ponder and just accept some answer that they were fed to them as children. In reality, children are probably they best socratic philosophers (with their endless "why"s). I think a brilliant example is from my childhood, the genius is my sister.

We were getting tucked into bed by my father when my sister asked him, how he knows that God exists. No one can really quite remember what my dad's answer was, but we think he probably gave some speech about not having physical evidence that God exists, but one must have faith in something that they cannot see, or you can see God exists in miracles, blah blah. After he was done, he said his good nights and my sister turned to me and said, "That means he doesn't know."

The next time a kid asks you a question, really think about the appropriate answer to give them, because they listen and remember everything you say.

Certain songs make me happy

So, I am feeling better today, compared to yesterday. It is bright, shiny and warmish outside. Also, on my way to work, I heard Walking on Sunshine on the radio. It just put me in a good mood.

On a email listserve that a group of us in Public Allies made, we would come up with 'Top 5' lists we would email back and forth to each other, to pass time if we were bored. One list was a 'Top 5 Happy Songs.' One of the members named Walking on Sunshine on his list (which was actually over 5, because he was having a good day).

It is true, that song does make me happy as well. As I was listening to it, I thought to myself, "How exactly does one walk on sunshine?" Immediately I thought of the Peanuts characters dancing in that Christmas special. Specifically, I thought of the guy with the green shirt, that does a kind of zombie-walk-in-place dance. That is how one walks on sunshine.

I love the Charlie Brown/Peanuts dance. Even though, I am not a dancer, I still try to incorporate these moves when I do bust a groove. It just seems joyful. (Just a quick note here, I googled the term 'Charlie Brown Dance' to find this video and thought the combination and editing of the video and song was brilliant even if I am not a fan of Outkast or this song in particular. Also, in my google search, I found the Urban Dictionary defintion of 'Charlie Brown' which states in so many words that it is 'the part of the cha-cha slide when everyone stands around awkwardly'..heh).

In case you were wondering, here is a list of other songs (top 5 off the top of my head) that make me happy:

Love Shack - The B-52s
Shake it Up - The Cars
Groove is in the Heart - Deelite
Goods (in your head) - Mates of State
Shake Your Pants - The Meligrove Band

Today feels like suck 'aka' Emo is the new goth

I hate rainy, dreary weather. I especially hate it when I am already in a bad mood. I blame the 24 hour coverage of the VA Tech massacre, and my willing viewing of said coverage. Whenever something this sad happens on a national or world scale, I always seem to be drawn in to the stories of the victims and the perpetrator (I go and read the Crime Library website for fun). The human psyche fascinates me. I think I missed my calling as a criminologist. However, if I did decide to go into the field of studying crime, I would probably be in a constant mood that I am experiencing now, the mood of 'blah.' The fact that there are people out there that do things like this makes me depressed. What makes me even more depressed, is that the situation even occurring doesn't shock me.

Perhaps my mood also has to do with now not having anything to occupy my spare time. Before I was constantly worry and/or planning my sister's baby shower, which just occurred this past weekend, sans any great disaster (woohoo). This may sound weird, but I am one of those people that needs something to worry about, in order to function properly. I am like my cousin's baby, who constantly walks around looking busy, busy, busy but really has nowhere important to go or see. When I don't have anything to do, I realize my life is boring. However, in light of recent events, boring feels fine.

I once read somewhere that Sagittarians (my sign) are energetic and optimistic people. However they get bored easily, and when they do get bored they also get pessimistic and moody. At the time I was reading that I didn't believe it (mostly because I never see myself as energetic or optimistic), but I kind of do now.

Yes, today is a day that I sadly stare out of my rain-streamed window with my chin in hands. Ho-hum. Hopefully my America's Next Top Model date with my friends will make me feel better.

Jordy Lemoine - Alison

Same creepiness. This is going to be the soundtrack to my nightmare tonight.

Jordy Its So Tough to be A Baby

This is creepy, weird and kind of cute.

RIP Kurt Vonnegut

I remember being in around the ninth grade and asking my parents what their favorite books were. My mother told me To Kill a Mockingbird and my father said Slaughterhouse-five. I was looking to try and expand my mind, and actually read books for my own pleasure, and not because teachers made me (at that time the last time I read a book on my own, the authors included Ann Martin, Beverly Cleary, RL Stein or any American Girl author). So, I decided to tackle my dad's favorite book first.

This was my first Kurt Vonnegut novel, and probably the best way to get introduced. Reading Slaughterhouse-five for the first time can be described in three sequential thought processes:

1. WTF!?!
2. Indifference - long intake process
3. Awe.

Such an important literary figure will be missed.

Negative Kudos the not-Thursday Version: Don Imus

I know it is late, but never too late to comment on this: "Nappy headed hoes," Really? This comment is suppose to be taken as an joke? Hmm. Don't see the funny. Maybe he and I have a different sense of humor. Perhaps he would think it would be hilarious if I called him a cracker-ass shitslice?

Maybe I've been to one-too-many sensitivity trainings but I don't find any racial humor (especially when it resorts to name calling) funny.

Come on Imus! The least you can do is make fun of the team for being from the Armpit of America.

Reasons why I will be an awesome aunt

A) I like to give children candy and I'm not talking about the creepy man in a van way. I'm talking about getting the kid nice and riled up so the parents have to deal with it later in the night. Yes, I'm evil. Here is photographic evidence. That is my cousin's baby Alana at my sister's Superbowl party. I was feeding her Nerds and Pixies Sticks. That is my hand with the Nerds and that is her face in sugar-high glee:
I like her dress in the picture. I wish they made it in big girl sizes so I could look just as cute.

B) I'm one of the kids. At family functions, you can usually find me playing some type of game with my little cousins or joining them on the playground equipment. We have discussions about That's So Raven and Hannah Montana. One time I was trying to explain to my 7-year-old cousin that I was an adult and her response was, "Nuh-uh."

C) I tend to talk to kids like adults. I speak in complete sentences. I ask them about their day/school/family like I really care (and guess what...I do). Maybe this is why kids like me. I don't treat them like pets or little babies with the "baby" talk. All kids like to feel like they are bigger than they really are.

D) Recently my sister told me that while her and her husband were discussing possible guardians if *knock on wood* anything were to happen to them and they told me that I was one of them. She explained that she would want someone that would be open minded like me. I like to think it has to do with my general approach to life, where I don't take things too seriously but at the same time I am very realistic, stable and responsible.

E) Lets just be honest here. I will not, or rather never, be the aunt with the money/material things. Any future offspring of my siblings should not be expecting extravagant presents from me. What they should be expecting is a sarcastic sense of humor, frank discussions on taboo topics like politics/sex/religion/money etc., moments of embarrassment from anything I may say or do, unwelcome opinions on the way that they live their lives, and insults/fists to be thrown at anyone that crosses them. Most importantly, I will be the aunt that the kids want to live with when they are ready to runaway from home and my rickety futon will be waiting for them.

This isn't a reason, but I thought I would share a photo of my cousin's second baby, Isabella:

Who Knew? Alanis Morissette is funny

Here she is doing a cover of Black Eyed Peas's "My Humps." If there is anything I love more in the world, it is radically different covers of ridiculous pop songs.

This is how much I love my family

My teenage cousin just had her second child this weekend. Another girl that was named Isabella Marie. She decided to come into the world hip first, so the doctors insisted that my cousin get a c-section. By the time I got to the hospital, all my family was already there and my cousin was out of surgery, nice and doped up.

The asshole of a "baby daddy" was there. It took all the courage in the world for me not to even mouth the words "I will kill you" to him. Maybe it was the fact that his mother was there that made me be civil to him. He is also more than a head shorter than me, so the fight would not be fair. When I jokingly told my cousin that the next time I saw her I was giving her Sex Ed 101, the dipshit laughed and I stared daggers at him.

My sister was present during the labor and was even recording the happenings before it was discovered that Isabella was coming out breech. The video, was sadly hilarious. The doctors were telling my cousin to not push, and she was telling them to shut up, she was going to push anyway. The phrase, "Where is the doctor, that little bastard," could be heard (even though my cousin insists that she said, 'can he come a little faster'). Also, as she was starting to push the doctor said, "Oh wait...it looks like..."
My cousin: "It looks like what?"
Doctor: "She's coming out breech."
Cousin: "What's breech?"
Doctor: "Butt first"
Cousin: "Does that mean I need a c-section?"
Doctor: "Yes."
Cousin: *starts crying in disappointment* "Oh no....Get it out now!"
It was funny how quickly her mood changed.
Later, the doctors were showing the baby in the nursery. My mom was looking through the glass holding my cousin's other baby saying, "Oh she's so cute! She's going to be prettier than you." This is my family's sense of humor...and it was recorded. Any child born into our family needs to learn how to read sarcasm and/or get our twisted sense of humor or at least take it with a grain of salt.

The second night she was in the hospital, the baby's fuckhead father decided that he needed to rest and refused to stay in the hospital with my cousin (even though he ended up partying that night--I wonder why I hate him). My aunt had to go home to take care of her other baby and my uncle had to sleep in order to go to work the next day. I was the only one that could stay the night with her ( in reality she didn't need anyone because the nurses could take the baby in the nursery and bring her back when it was time for her to feed). My cousin just didn't want to stay by herself and she was scared of the baby being in the nursery while she slept. I'm glad I as there because when it was time for my cousin to breastfeed, she would always fall asleep with the baby in her arms. So I would burp, change and swaddle the baby (and put my cousin's boob back away) when necessary. I couldn't get any sleep (I know..I should try going through labor myself and then complain). Anytime I was dozing off, the baby would make a small noise and I would jump up and see what was wrong.

See, I told you I love my family.

Also during the weekend I met a few of my also-knocked-up-friends-of-my-cousin and felt close to tears looking at them. They just think motherhood is SOOOOO cool. I feel bad for them, but most importantly I feel bad for their children. What was weird though is one of my cousin's friends (one that was not pregnant)had a ton of questions for me, about my job. My cousin's friends never have questions for me. I am a non-Sheboyganite, childless college grad with a job therefore I am boring. Kids these days!