This might be shocking for you to find out, but I never broke up with anyone. In my prior dating experiences, the break up was mutual or it was the dude that did the dumping. My favorite break up line is still, "I hope we can continue to be friends because you are a cool chick." Surprisingly my response was not, "Can we still be friends after I punch you in the throat?" Needless to say we did not remain friends.
When/if the day comes that I get to experience being the "breaker-upper", I don't have any prior experience to call upon, to do so in the most compassionate way. But, I have recently realized that my job as a meeting planner does give me an opportunity to learn the best way to let someone down easily.
Typically my client contracts certain services of our meeting to outside vendors. Decorators, audio-visual, security, printing companies, etc., will all contact me to find out how they can provide their services for the meeting. I end up looking through several proposals before I make a decision on the specific company that we will use. (Look at me: I am also finding out how it feels to have a full dance card. I'm the prettiest belle of the ball!)
When it comes time to update the companies that my client is not utilizing, I always rack my brain for the best ways to say "I'm just not that into you." I have found that there are a few ways of approaching it, which in reality are the same ways (I assume) to break up with someone:
1. Delaying the inevitable - It is pretty hard to tell a vendor that spent so much time putting together a proposal, that they are not getting my business (hehe, my business). So when they call to see where I am in my decision making process, I might say, "Um well, I am still weighing my options. But I will definitely update you once that is done." More often than not I am just giving myself some time to write a good regrets email or I might conveniently forget to update them. The dating equivalent is seeing someone you are dating with someone else, and they tell you, "Oh it's just a friend. Don't worry about it." Expect to get a Dear John/Jane letter shortly after.
2. Be totally blunt - Flat out tell the company that another vendor has given you a better offer. Or that the other company provide better services. The dating equivalent is saying "You're ok, but John Doe is a doctor and he drives a Lexus, so....."
3. Backburner them - Quickly let them know that you went with another company, but that you are keeping their information in your records for a later day. The dating equivalent: "You are so great! I'm just not in the right place right now for a relationship." It's also kind of like the Friend Zone.
4. Blame someone else - This can easily be tied to obligations of a board of directors or the hotel venue. Sometimes you are just tied to a certain company, despite getting proposals from other companies. The dating equivalent would be to blame your parents, friends or even more easily: work.
5. Make them not want you - In the business world you can simply show that you might have the budget to pay for their services. Or you can show them that the cost for them to provide the services might outweigh any profit they might get. The dating equivalent would be "letting yourself go" or acting crazy/weird. You know... letting you be you.
Man...there is no good way to dump someone without being a total asshat!
No comments:
Post a Comment