This might be shocking for you to find out, but I never broke up with anyone. In my prior dating experiences, the break up was mutual or it was the dude that did the dumping. My favorite break up line is still, "I hope we can continue to be friends because you are a cool chick." Surprisingly my response was not, "Can we still be friends after I punch you in the throat?" Needless to say we did not remain friends.
When/if the day comes that I get to experience being the "breaker-upper", I don't have any prior experience to call upon, to do so in the most compassionate way. But, I have recently realized that my job as a meeting planner does give me an opportunity to learn the best way to let someone down easily.
Typically my client contracts certain services of our meeting to outside vendors. Decorators, audio-visual, security, printing companies, etc., will all contact me to find out how they can provide their services for the meeting. I end up looking through several proposals before I make a decision on the specific company that we will use. (Look at me: I am also finding out how it feels to have a full dance card. I'm the prettiest belle of the ball!)
When it comes time to update the companies that my client is not utilizing, I always rack my brain for the best ways to say "I'm just not that into you." I have found that there are a few ways of approaching it, which in reality are the same ways (I assume) to break up with someone:
1. Delaying the inevitable - It is pretty hard to tell a vendor that spent so much time putting together a proposal, that they are not getting my business (hehe, my business). So when they call to see where I am in my decision making process, I might say, "Um well, I am still weighing my options. But I will definitely update you once that is done." More often than not I am just giving myself some time to write a good regrets email or I might conveniently forget to update them. The dating equivalent is seeing someone you are dating with someone else, and they tell you, "Oh it's just a friend. Don't worry about it." Expect to get a Dear John/Jane letter shortly after.
2. Be totally blunt - Flat out tell the company that another vendor has given you a better offer. Or that the other company provide better services. The dating equivalent is saying "You're ok, but John Doe is a doctor and he drives a Lexus, so....."
3. Backburner them - Quickly let them know that you went with another company, but that you are keeping their information in your records for a later day. The dating equivalent: "You are so great! I'm just not in the right place right now for a relationship." It's also kind of like the Friend Zone.
4. Blame someone else - This can easily be tied to obligations of a board of directors or the hotel venue. Sometimes you are just tied to a certain company, despite getting proposals from other companies. The dating equivalent would be to blame your parents, friends or even more easily: work.
5. Make them not want you - In the business world you can simply show that you might have the budget to pay for their services. Or you can show them that the cost for them to provide the services might outweigh any profit they might get. The dating equivalent would be "letting yourself go" or acting crazy/weird. You know... letting you be you.
Man...there is no good way to dump someone without being a total asshat!
10/21/2012
They only bite you if they like you
*taps on microphone* Hello?....Is anyone there?....
Wow. I haven't updated this blog in over 17 months. Even then, I only did so sparingly.
I forget where exactly I heard it, on some TV/movie, but someone talked about having a blog, and their friend said, "What is it, 2002?" This made me laugh because, A) I never even log into this blog let along write/update it and B) I started a blog way after it was popular. Please don't blame me on my tardiness to the blog party. I live in the Midwest, which is notorious for getting into trends way past their expiration date.
I blame Facebook/Twitter for killing the blog. Why go into a long tirade about your thoughts and/or life when you can capture it in 140 characters of less? Part of me thinks it is the dumbing down of human existence. On the other hand I also think it forces individuals to be more thoughtful/witty/intelligent in shorter form.
Well, I'm fighting against the machine/the man/the whatever you want to call it. I'm going to make myself write down my thoughts on this, my old friend, peoplegoingtoheaven.blogspot.com. It will help me freshen up my writing skills, which I have found have been rapidly going downhill over the years. It will also help me dump the random thoughts I have running around in my head at all times of the day that I want to share with others (and by sharing with others, I mean my Mom who is probably the only one reading this...Hi Mom!).
Now on to the random title of this entry. This is a memory of my childhood that I have been recently thinking about. I was about 3-4 years old. I lived in a house on Alexander Court in Sheboygan. In our neighborhood there were two boys that were around the same age as my sister and I. They both had the same name, which I cannot recall right now (Brian?). One of them was a blonde, the other was a brunette/ginger. They liked playing with my sister and I, we liked playing with them. I remember in the mornings how they would wait for us outside of our house to come and play, while my sister and I sat peaking out of the window, in our underwear waiting for our Mom to get our clothes ready.
Anyway, I completely forget the circumstances that lead up to the situation but I do remember that the brunette/ginger one bit me on my back. Enough so that it left a welt on my back. Those that know me and my sensitive skin, it doesn't take much to leave marks on my body. Regardless, it was pretty traumatic in my little girl mind. I don't even recall how the situation was handled by my parents or by his parents. I don't think that my sister and I hung out with him much after that, but that might have been due to my family moving to another neighborhood, for unrelated reasons, shortly afterward.
Part of me thinks that my Mom probably explained to me that he only did that to me because he liked me and he didn't know how to deal with it, because that seems like something my Mom would do. Also, that explanation makes the most sense: People like to bite things they like! If I see an adorable baby with chubby cheeks, the first thing that runs through my mind is, "I want to bite those cheeks!"
Wait...you mean everyone doesn't have those thoughts? I blame the brunette/ginger "Brian" for ruining my appropriate reactions to things that I like. So to any future men that I might find attractive, if I bite you, don't worry! It is only because I like you so much!
Wow. I haven't updated this blog in over 17 months. Even then, I only did so sparingly.
I forget where exactly I heard it, on some TV/movie, but someone talked about having a blog, and their friend said, "What is it, 2002?" This made me laugh because, A) I never even log into this blog let along write/update it and B) I started a blog way after it was popular. Please don't blame me on my tardiness to the blog party. I live in the Midwest, which is notorious for getting into trends way past their expiration date.
I blame Facebook/Twitter for killing the blog. Why go into a long tirade about your thoughts and/or life when you can capture it in 140 characters of less? Part of me thinks it is the dumbing down of human existence. On the other hand I also think it forces individuals to be more thoughtful/witty/intelligent in shorter form.
Well, I'm fighting against the machine/the man/the whatever you want to call it. I'm going to make myself write down my thoughts on this, my old friend, peoplegoingtoheaven.blogspot.com. It will help me freshen up my writing skills, which I have found have been rapidly going downhill over the years. It will also help me dump the random thoughts I have running around in my head at all times of the day that I want to share with others (and by sharing with others, I mean my Mom who is probably the only one reading this...Hi Mom!).
Now on to the random title of this entry. This is a memory of my childhood that I have been recently thinking about. I was about 3-4 years old. I lived in a house on Alexander Court in Sheboygan. In our neighborhood there were two boys that were around the same age as my sister and I. They both had the same name, which I cannot recall right now (Brian?). One of them was a blonde, the other was a brunette/ginger. They liked playing with my sister and I, we liked playing with them. I remember in the mornings how they would wait for us outside of our house to come and play, while my sister and I sat peaking out of the window, in our underwear waiting for our Mom to get our clothes ready.
Anyway, I completely forget the circumstances that lead up to the situation but I do remember that the brunette/ginger one bit me on my back. Enough so that it left a welt on my back. Those that know me and my sensitive skin, it doesn't take much to leave marks on my body. Regardless, it was pretty traumatic in my little girl mind. I don't even recall how the situation was handled by my parents or by his parents. I don't think that my sister and I hung out with him much after that, but that might have been due to my family moving to another neighborhood, for unrelated reasons, shortly afterward.
Part of me thinks that my Mom probably explained to me that he only did that to me because he liked me and he didn't know how to deal with it, because that seems like something my Mom would do. Also, that explanation makes the most sense: People like to bite things they like! If I see an adorable baby with chubby cheeks, the first thing that runs through my mind is, "I want to bite those cheeks!"
Wait...you mean everyone doesn't have those thoughts? I blame the brunette/ginger "Brian" for ruining my appropriate reactions to things that I like. So to any future men that I might find attractive, if I bite you, don't worry! It is only because I like you so much!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)