My teenage cousin just had her second child this weekend. Another girl that was named Isabella Marie. She decided to come into the world hip first, so the doctors insisted that my cousin get a c-section. By the time I got to the hospital, all my family was already there and my cousin was out of surgery, nice and doped up.
The asshole of a "baby daddy" was there. It took all the courage in the world for me not to even mouth the words "I will kill you" to him. Maybe it was the fact that his mother was there that made me be civil to him. He is also more than a head shorter than me, so the fight would not be fair. When I jokingly told my cousin that the next time I saw her I was giving her Sex Ed 101, the dipshit laughed and I stared daggers at him.
My sister was present during the labor and was even recording the happenings before it was discovered that Isabella was coming out breech. The video, was sadly hilarious. The doctors were telling my cousin to not push, and she was telling them to shut up, she was going to push anyway. The phrase, "Where is the doctor, that little bastard," could be heard (even though my cousin insists that she said, 'can he come a little faster'). Also, as she was starting to push the doctor said, "Oh wait...it looks like..."
My cousin: "It looks like what?"
Doctor: "She's coming out breech."
Cousin: "What's breech?"
Doctor: "Butt first"
Cousin: "Does that mean I need a c-section?"
Doctor: "Yes."
Cousin: *starts crying in disappointment* "Oh no....Get it out now!"
It was funny how quickly her mood changed.
Later, the doctors were showing the baby in the nursery. My mom was looking through the glass holding my cousin's other baby saying, "Oh she's so cute! She's going to be prettier than you." This is my family's sense of humor...and it was recorded. Any child born into our family needs to learn how to read sarcasm and/or get our twisted sense of humor or at least take it with a grain of salt.
The second night she was in the hospital, the baby's fuckhead father decided that he needed to rest and refused to stay in the hospital with my cousin (even though he ended up partying that night--I wonder why I hate him). My aunt had to go home to take care of her other baby and my uncle had to sleep in order to go to work the next day. I was the only one that could stay the night with her ( in reality she didn't need anyone because the nurses could take the baby in the nursery and bring her back when it was time for her to feed). My cousin just didn't want to stay by herself and she was scared of the baby being in the nursery while she slept. I'm glad I as there because when it was time for my cousin to breastfeed, she would always fall asleep with the baby in her arms. So I would burp, change and swaddle the baby (and put my cousin's boob back away) when necessary. I couldn't get any sleep (I know..I should try going through labor myself and then complain). Anytime I was dozing off, the baby would make a small noise and I would jump up and see what was wrong.
See, I told you I love my family.
Also during the weekend I met a few of my also-knocked-up-friends-of-my-cousin and felt close to tears looking at them. They just think motherhood is SOOOOO cool. I feel bad for them, but most importantly I feel bad for their children. What was weird though is one of my cousin's friends (one that was not pregnant)had a ton of questions for me, about my job. My cousin's friends never have questions for me. I am a non-Sheboyganite, childless college grad with a job therefore I am boring. Kids these days!
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