10/23/2010

Only In Milwaukee's Trendy and Fashionable Eastside

I guess you could say I have experience my first attempted mugging...kinda, sorta. While walking to a bar to watch the Wisconsin game with some fellow Alumni this woman, who was walking towards me, suddenly stopped dead in her tracks and looked me straight in the eye.

I've seen her around the neighborhood often. She is a skinny woman who is about a head shorter than me. There is almost always a distinct urine odor when you walk past her, and she always has some kind of weird stain on the back of her pants. You definitely get the feeling that she might have a few screws loose.

Anyway, as I am about to walk past her, she suddenly shouts, "Hey! Afhsjdlsfh" Because I couldn't hear the second part, I turn around and said, "What?". As I did this I find her fumbling through her purse. She then pulls out a tiny pair of manicure scissors and starts swinging it at me, she says to me, "Give me your money!"
Now, this situation is actually kind of sad. And when it's not sad, it's kind of scary. But I couldn't help myself. I laughed! I replied, "Um..no," and turned to walk away.

Manicure Scissors Lady seemed very disappointed. Defeated almost. As she started to put her scissors back into her purse, I could hear her say almost under her breath, "Why didn't you give me your money?" Maybe it was her first attempted mugging too!

Next time, I will give her a dollar for the effort.