What Not To Do When Cute Guy Talks To You On Bus

So, of course these examples are pure fiction. None of these things happened to a particularly awkward 27 year old woman living and working in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

• So upon entering the bus, you select a seat next to an attractive, age appropriate guy. Kudos! Nice seat selection.
• You feel said guy turn to look directly at you every few seconds. You discretely start to wipe your nose/mouth/face because that would be the only reason he is looking at you...There is probably a booger hanging out there somewhere. Negative kudos.
• Finally you turn to look at him to realize that he is saying something to you. Your sunglasses and cleverly hidden ear bugs (masked even more by your long hair) don't notice this. Negative kudos.
• You remove your ear buds and sun glasses to be an "active listener" to what this seemly nice guy has to say. Kudos!
• The guy starts to ask you about the tray of cupcakes on your lap, about baking, about your work, bosses. Each question he asks is directly related to the answer you just gave and he is smiling pleasantly with each question. He's a great conversationalist. You reciprocate by giving short answers, not asking any questions in return and making a face that is not to far from this:
  

If the look could have a name, it would be titled: "Why are you talking to me? What's your deal? No, seriously...WTF?"

• So after the guy is done asking you questions he gives you one final smile, still not turning away, almost waiting to give you a final chance to be an actual participant in the conversation. You put your sunglasses back on, headphones back in the ears and turn to face the front of the bus...*facepalm*.
• You continue on in silence, awkwardly sitting next to this guy for 10 minutes until your stop comes up. You get up and leave without smiling or saying goodbye. Negative kudos.
  

Obvs...I'm way good at talking to good looking guys. Err... I mean this fictional lady is...

Please Allow Me To Have a Reality Show Rant

Anyone that knows me, me knows that I shamelessly love me some reality show television. And I am not talking everyone-talks-about-it-the-next-day reality shows like American Idol or America's Got Talent. No, I'm talking about those random reality shows you find on CW. Take for example the new show called Plain Jane. After one episode, I have decided I am going to both love to hate AND hate to love this show. Where to start on the hate...

• First of all, I hate the show's definition of a "Plain Jane". Wear glasses? Don't wear heals? Don't wear make-up? Goofy? Got curly hair? Yup...your plain. We better put contacts in, straighten your hair, put make-up on and make an already adorably cute girl look like an extra from The Hills. (To be fair, they do look good afterward, but that sort of like putting a puppy in the hands of a monkey...making a cute situation even more cute).
• The situations they put these girls in to learn how to flirt. Even good flirts couldn't pull that off. And the results are just SO PAINFUL to watch that my secondhand embarrassment leaves me feeling nauseous. I resort to talking to myself, such as, "I sincerely hope she stops touching that guys arm. He looks super creeped out." What they are teaching these girls to do is to be that creepy guy at the bar that makes you roll your eyes at his tired lines.
• The results is always because of some guy. She is getting made over for a guy. They try hard to work in the "Oh but look at how confident she is now!" but really, its about the guy. Makes for excellent TV, but me and my feminist soapbox say that if a girl would like to change her appearance, it should be because she wants to do it for herself, and not because boys will like her better.
• The last complaint, is a complaint to any reality show in which the ending is the revelation of a crush. Of course more times than not the object of affection is going to be reciprocal of the feelings! They don't want to look like the bad guy. Just dump them a few months after the "follow-up" taping.
  
• The scenes from next week's episode...I don't even see any plain in this girl. She looks at most like she isn't wearing make-up. Oh, but she did say she didn't like girly stuff. Total Plain Jane. At least the girl from the episode had red hair, glasses, freckles and kind of came off as slightly awkward.
  

Who am I kidding, I just straight up hate this show. But since I love hating things, I love second hand embarrassment and I need to brush up on my creepy flirting skills, I will totally be watching this again.

P.S. I'm pretty sure I need to get a life!