Last night in Madison...

I am spending my last night in my apartment. Right now I am in the middle of packing and cleaning. I am just hoping that I can get it all done by tomorrow. This will probably be my last night of blogging for awhile, that is unless I can get online time whenever I am back in Sheboygan. I will be moving to Milwaukee by early September. Hopefully I will have enough money saved by then.

For the first time in my life (or however long I have had my own checking account) I have overdrawn. When I told my mom and sister, they asked what I spent my money on. I had to really sit back and think about that one. I did not and still do not know how I spent that much money. Perhaps it is rent, gas money (driving back and forth from Milwaukee and Madison isn't that cheap) and not to mention that 100 dollar parking ticket. Actually now that I think about it, there was more than one 100 dollar parking ticket (god damn those pesky HIDDEN disabled parking signs).

Do you ever notice that with a new transition in your life, you tend to think about loved ones that have past away. Is it just me? I have been thinking about my grandmother a lot lately. In the middle of the day, as I am researching apartments in Milwaukee, I am thinking about what my grandmother would think about my new job. Would she be nervous about me living in a "big" city by myself? I try not to tell my mom about my preoccupation with memories of my grandmother. She is superstitious and probably would see it as a bad sign.

Well, I am tired and there is still work to be done. Until next time...

Smart move Holland

So it was raining for about an hour, and an hour after it had stopped I decide it is good enough for me to walk to the mini-mart to pick up some much needed toilet paper. I am too lazy to find an umbrella but figure I won't need it anyway since the store is just around the (short) block. I make my purchase and as soon as I step outside it is down-pouring. It is a soak-you-in-a-second downpour. As soon as I get home, I am soaked through my jeans and t-shirt. I don't know what I was thinking.

One of the bad kids in my group told me that he told his dad about me. Apparently, his dad, who is "REALLY mad," wants to talk to me. Obviously this is suppose to scare me but I simply reply, "Good, I look forward to meeting him."

This weekend I went home to visit my family. The first night I am there my mom points to my always-sunblocked-layered-FRECKLED-shoulder and says, "I don't like that." (She is scared that I will get skin cancer because I have a lot of freckles but I protect my skin). As we were making frybread my mom semi-shouted at me (in that kind of "HOT!! HOT!!" way a mom yells to a one year old heading towards the oven) to get away from the hot oil because she was afraid I was going to burn myself (She just touched the oil with her finger minutes before). It is funny how moms will still treat you like your five even when you are an adult.

I must make a confession...I am the Phantom Dooker

ABC's Brat Camp, is probably the best programming on television right now. Nothing is better than watching a bunch of horrible kids spend 40 days in the wilderness, having to bury their poop in the ground. Makes me proud to be an American.

I got told today that I will be working with National church Residences. I am happy, because it was my second choice (of course I would have been happier with my first choice, but second is good). I just hope that I don't screw up like I am supposedly screwing up with my current job. I got my mid-term evaluation for my camp job and I got two checks for "needs improvement" for communicating with staff and being a team worker. This is all because of one instance in which I let my feelings get vented up about this one woman I work with. It's had to describe in words what exactly she does to me, but it can be summed up in saying that she makes me feel like an elementary-aged kid in front of my own group of kids. So I finally told her my feelings (in front of the site director) and I was told I was being "over emotional" and I was only acting out because I was letting my frustration towards my group of kids come out. Ah yah, that is exactly it...Only I know of a few other counselors who feel the exact same way towards that witch. I swear, the older I get, the worse I am getting at my jobs.

Funny story about one of the kids I work with: We were making poems about trees outside. One of the boys comes up and shows me his poems. It goes something like this: Trees are green, Trees are brown, It makes me sad, when they're cut down. Clever. I congratulate him on a good poem. I turn my back to help another student. Five minutes later I hear all the students encourage the boy with the poem to go (where at this point I don't know). I quickly turn around to stop him. He tells me he wants to read his poem to the people across the street. I look up at the direction he is pointing at and see people cutting down a tree. Ah, the innocence and passion of childhood.

Sinners are welcome

I went camping this weekend. I am a little red and a little bruised from the "white-water" rafting. I don't think it should be called rafting when you are pushing your boat off of rocks more than half of the time because the river is so low. I swear to god, next year I am not going rafting...Too much bad luck.

I have two interviews in the next two days for my Public Ally position. One is with Our Next Generation, a kind of youth mentorship program, and the other is with YWCA, setting up housing for low-income single mothers. I already had three interviews with Prevent Blindness Wisconsin, which sets up vision screening and follow-ups for children in school, Non-profit Management Fund, which helps fund and train for management in nonprofit organizations, and National church Residences, which also helps find housing for single low-income mothers. I am still not quite sure who I want to work with...They all seem like good choices. Going to go to bed now, I am super tired from this past weekend. Until later.

Happy Non-smoking bar day!!!

I didn't realize it, but I just so happened to go out on the same night as Madison's enactment of the non-smoking bar act. Personally, as a non-smoker, I am thrilled about it. However, I spent the entire night, in the outside area with all the smokers. Oh well, at least I didn't smell like smoke at the end of the night.

This weekend was independence Day weekend. I went back to my hometown of Sheboygan. It was nice to spend time with them, especially since I rarely get to see them, and probably will be seeing a lot less of them with my new job and its rigorous hours. At the fireworks my little 19 month old cousin sat behind me in her stroller. It was her very first fireworks. She was so cute sitting there with her big brown eyes entranced with the colors and saying, "Uh-oh," every time a big firework went off.

Fare warning if you and your children are ever in the presence of my aunt...She will encourage them to run. At the fireworks we positioned ourselves in a perfect position to watch the fireworks, or so we thought. Turns out they were being launch about 100 yards to the left of where we were sitting. Right when they went off we noticed that we had a big tree, which was on top of a big hill, in our way. My aunt decides to yell out, "KIDS RUN!!!." So all of my little cousins and friends' kids go bolting to a new position. All the kids' parents go running after them and our whole group of 30 split up into three different groups. I was left behind with my mom and a few other people. I said that I didn't mind not seeing the fireworks and stayed behind the tree for a minute or two, but then moved to another position where I could see better. I mean, come on...You got to love fireworks.

Counseling fellow counselors

So I am a summer camp counselor to a group of fifth graders. My co-workers range in age of 18-50ish. The 50ish woman is special education assistant during the school year and does this as a summer job. One of the 18-year olds, I feel like sometimes I am watching over her as well as my own kids. I have to stop her from talking to my kids while I am trying to lead them on to the next activity. And she also plays "inappropriate" songs in front of the kids. But then she criticizes me for not dancing in front of the kids. I whipped out the running man, but that is all I am going to do.

Today we played kickball. This, along with dodgeball, were the two sports I hated to play in school. Those types of balls always scared the crap out of me. They still do. I played along with the kids, placing myself out in right field. The first kid up kicked it right towards me. All I was thinking was how I needed to catch it because the kids already thought I was a loser. And what do you know...I caught it. Ahhh...redemption for all those times I didn't catch it as a kid. Another time the ball dropped right in front of me and I threw it in at a kid running in to third. I managed to aim it right at him and also not whipping it too hard to hurt him (because I am still an adult and he still is a kid).

However reality hit back when it was my turn to kick and I didn't even get it off the ground or anywhere near the outfield. The kids on my team said, "Holland, you suck." I gave them that, 'you should know better than to use negative language at camp' look and they flashed that 'whoops, sorry' look. Whatever, some kids think I am awesome because I know how to make bubble letters and lanyards (or however you spell it).

A summary of the past few days

Thursday night: Went to go see Batman Begins. Katie Holmes nearly made this movie horrible. Christian Bale as Batman was not great...However as Bruce Wayne he was good. All the other actors did a great job especially Cillian Murphy as Dr. Crane/Scarecrow. Surprisingly a little scary compared to what one would imagine a live action movie would do to the character.

Friday night: Went to go see Bewitched. I was really surprised with the chemistry between Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell. I still don't like Nicole Kidman but thought that it was good overall. Plus, Will Ferrell surprisingly plays a good romantic male lead without be too goofy.

Saturday: Mike and Alyssa's wedding. I got all teary eyed when I saw Alyssa walk down the aisle. The reception was fun but it was awkward seeing all those people from high school. I didn't say hello to anyone and no one said hello to me. I should have just gotten drunk instead of remaining sober.

I also saw my pregnant cousin for the first time. I almost cried when she showed me her stomach (I asked to see it). The only thing that made me calm down a little bit was seeing that she was taking responsibility now and also that her boyfriend is helping in any way he can. Like my mom says, what's done is done. Now we just have to deal and make sure that she and her baby are healthy.

Here's to a fresh new week: May the attitude of those fifth graders and the snottiness of my B&B coworkers lessen.

Mixed bag of news

So let's start with the good news. I was accepted into Public Allies. This means I will be living in Milwaukee by September and working over 40 hours a week. I seriously cannot wait. When can a person say they are excited about working over 40 hours a week? Hardly ever. Plus it will be the first time in my life that I am living completely by myself. Scary, but I can't wait.

Should a 14 year-old be pregnant? No. Tell my cousin this, she seems to not have gotten the memo. The rule is you need at least a little experience of high school before getting knocked up. Nothing can explain my disappointment and sadness right now, not only for her but for that poor child she is carrying.

Summer camp starts tomorrow. I will be leading a group of fifth graders. That is going to be so different from the group of second graders I lead last year. So much more attitude and less enthusiasm for the activities. I remember when I was in fifth grade and I was way too cool for everything. I am most likely going to end up with little me-s. Good grief.

What is with this Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes engagement? If that isn't a farce then I guess I have never seen "true love."

Job number two started today

I have never worked two jobs before. I feel a mixture of ambition and laziness for not having a career in which I wouldn't have to work two jobs to make ends meet. Anyway, this second job is the after-(summer) school program. I am a group leader of fifth graders. Yikes, to me that is a hard age because they are a bunch of know-it-alls at that age Hehe. I am just hoping that I can keep them occupied for 4 hours without boring them. But here is the real thing I am thinking about: MMmmmmm Money!!!!!

Oh, and while I was working at my other job, a plexiglass container fell on my foot, landing pointy side down. I now have a bruise on my foot. That's a first.

I think that almost a month ago it was close to 30 degrees

Madison is experiencing a heat wave. It is close 90 degrees, which for Wisconsin is horrendous, considering if it is that hot here, it is also humid. I can't stand it. The reason why I cannot stand it is because I have been driving all over the place for the past two days. My car's air conditioning doesn't seem to work to well, so I have to sit in a hot car on a hot day. Nothing like hot humid wind blowing in your face while your driving to an interview. I hope sweat soaked clothes impress employers.

p.s. I am getting so lonely living by myself. I think after the summer, I definitely need to find myself a roommate. I can't live by myself, I get too lonely.

My co-workers are from hell. That or my old high school.

I really do not like my new job. It is not the job itself, even though it entitles me to four hour shifts pawns fragrances to costumers, but the people I work with. The first thing that bugs me is that I have people that are 3 years younger than me telling me what to do. The second thing that bothers me is that they are fake, and force me to act the same way as them: pushy and chipper. A third thing that bothers me is that these people make me feel stupid. They do not do this is an outright manner but rather in a subtle, condescending way. Example: I was just told not to say "Is that everything?" at the cash register...When I do say it my co-worker is besides me laughing her head off (remember their are customers in line) and saying "You are so silly!" Don't worry, I flashed her that Evil Holland Eye. Another example: I had to dust and mop the floor one morning. Later on in the day a co-worker walked up to me and handed me a dust bunny and said, "you missed a spot." I swear, this place is an evil sorority.

Ha ha, I tricked everyone...

At my graduation, I was wearing a red stole that is given to American Indian graduates. Many people thought I was graduating with honors because the stole is similar to those wearing the honor stoles. The difference is that my stole is longer and has a Ho-Chunk design on it. Sorry, I am not that smart.

My last semester was my best semester. I got a 3.714 for the semester. I won't even say what my cumulative is because I already know many people that would personally cry over a 3.7 GPA for a semester, thinking it was horrible and my cumulative is lower than that. Whatever...I got a degree now and that is all that really matters.

And next to ride the coattails of the "graphic novels turned into movies" trend is...

There is a movie adaption of the graphic novel, V for Vendetta. I read this one for my comparative literature class and liked it a lot. Natalie Portman is playing one of the leads, Evey, in this one. Get this, Evey in the graphic novel, gets her head shaved by the other lead character, V. I just read that Natalie Portman actually got her head shaved for the part. I am definitely going to go see this one when it comes out. I hope it is as good as the book.

"ONCE A BADGER, ALWAYS A BADGER!"

So, I graduated. My parents came down to the ceremony. My sister and I sat by our friends Lina and David. It was nice to have a nice line up of Native students march to receive their diplomas. Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin gave the speech. I was not wowed by anything in the ceremony besides the part where I received my empty diploma cover. I was rushed off the stage while being told to hold up my diploma cover and smile. SNAP! There goes a picture I know I will look horrible in. Oh yeah, and the people that were on the stage were projected onto the scoreboard screen. Yikes, I am glad I didn't have to look at that. I still don't feel like a college graduate.

Enjoying the moment

As I sit here, writing my last term paper of my undergraduate year, I am definitely savoring every moment. I am giving myself extra breaks for snacks or web browsing time. You know why? Because I deserve it. Four years of sometimes less than adequate works deserves a pat on the back in my opinion. So far I am on page 8 of my 10 page paper and I am giving myself an extra long break. This may be my last 10 pager. If there is graduate school in my future, it is nothing but pages upon pages of writing, reading and I will be looking back on my undergraduate years with fond memories wishing that it could be that easy once again. Yes, I am taking in the moment.

On the brighter side, my summer blogs should be a good read. I am once again working for Madison School and Community Recreation. So the blogs should be filled with great stories from what the kids said and did and perhaps a sprinkingly of stories about drunken nights with co-workers and whatever friends remain in or visit the Madison area. Yes, CM and JR going to have the most alcohol infested summer they have ever had, if I have any say in it. Muhahahaha

Seriously Wisconsin weather, knock it off

Wisconsin weather is so great...For one day it will be 70's and beautiful and the very next day it will be in the low 30's and rainy. It just goes in cycles like that over and over again. Yes, even though it is May, we here in Wisconsin experience close to water freezing weather. Thanks for reading my complaints, now excuse me while I work on my 10 pager due tomorrow at 12 pm.

In the words of Stephanie Tanner....HOW RUDE!!!!

People in Madison are rude: the drivers, the "bums" on the street, the teaching assistants. Let me tell you why.
Drivers: On my way back from a meeting with my TAs, I almost got ran over by a guy getting out of a restaurant parking lot. He was looking only in the opposite direction for oncoming traffic, so he didn't see me coming. I didn't think he would turn because there was still oncoming traffic so I walked in front of his car. Half way through the driveway, he starts to go and nips me on the leg with his bumper. I banged my fist on his hood to get his attention. He apologized quickly and sped away.
Bum on street: walked by him twice in short time period, asked me twice if I had change. Told him the first time I didn't have any (which was the truth) but he didn't recognize me five minutes later and asked me again. Even my quasi-ADD attention span can recognize people in the time period. Ok, so this one isn't so rude.
Teaching assistant: While I was giving my speech on what causes crime and how to stop it, my TA was not looking at me and doodling in his notebook. I better get an A.

On another note, I feel like I really packed on the winter weight this year. I blame Atkins diet craze. Being the semi-non-conformist I am, I decided to, instead of following the trend, to carb-o-load. I never go a day without bread, pasta , potato, or sugars. This would be a little ok if I was active, but lets be honest here....I am the Queen of Coach Potatoes so the non-diet caught up with me. Ahh, maybe I will hit the gym this summer (like I say every year).

sure kudrow can wait, but others cannot

Big news from Bennifer Part Deux...

Jennifer Gardner is three months pregnant with Ben Affleck's baby. I believe they have yet to marry. This news shall make CM sad not because she likes Ben Affleck, but because she thinks Jennifer Gardner could do better. I personally think she couldn't because she is a horseface.

Say What????

I just recently fell upon a profile of Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe from "Friends") and learned that she had stayed a virgin until she got married...at 31 years of age. Wow...that is all I am going to say. I don't know what her religious affliation is, but if she is doing it for non-religious reasons, I am very impressed with her commitment, considering the "sex-crazed" world we live in today. My personal opinion on sex before marriage? I think most people that know me, know my thoughts in this area, and if you don't...ask me.

If I had a sports team, I would call them "The Orange"

Marquette University has recently decided to change their mascot from the Golden Eagles to Marquette Gold. This decision has come after a debate on whether or not to change their mascot back to their former Marquette Warriors. They have previously changed their mascot from the Warriors to Golden Eagles because of growing dislike for Native images used for sports teams. Recently two alumni had offered to donate $2 million dollars for the return of the Warriors mascot. While I applaud the decision by the board to forgo the Warrior mascot I am puzzled by the decision to go with "The Gold". I think that Golden Eagles is a very strong name. Eagles are very strong, intelligent and beautiful animals...what is wrong with using them as a mascot? The Gold is a very ridiculous name...I mean...it's a color!!! Then again, I am a strong believer that school's having mascots/nicknames and caring so much about them is also ridiculous. Do they really think changing their name back to the Warriors is going to bring them back to a time when their basketball team was good? Let me tell you, it won't. I have advice for Marquette: choose any name that isn't silly sounding and doesn't offend people.