4 years plus one day

I try not to put up posts that are political, because in reality I don't think I have anything different or intelligent to say on the subject. Mostly, these types of subjects mean I have to be serious, which I hate to do. However, I would like to say something that I don't really think is political, but is human. I hope this ends soon. I don't have any loved ones overseas, but I do know people that live in fear that their loved ones might get deployed sometime soon, and I feel for them. I also feel for the Iraqis that live in fear everyday.

The main thing that moved me to say something was something that I saw this morning on Good Morning America. They showed an update on a story they did a year ago about a ballet class in Iraq. Now, they dance without music, because their piano accompanist fled the country in fear, and yet they keep on going. I don't follow this type of art form, but watching those children dance in complete silence had me in tears.

When the interviewer asked the young teens how many of them have seen dead bodies, all of them raised their hands. One girl nervously giggled that she saw someone getting beheaded. What world do we have to live in that people must build a defense mechanism to "laugh off" such horrendous acts happening around them.

How am I suppose to feel living in a place where I don't deal with that type of environment: grateful? guilty? can you feel both at the same time?

So 4 years and one day later, lets all hope that this ends soon, and it does so peacefully.

Creepy Stalkers

I've never had my own stalker, and am kind of grateful for that. I don't think I could be anyone's stalker (and haven't been one up to this point in my life). However, looking at these two websites make me feel like a stalker to people I don't even know:

Found Magazine - I linked to one entry I found particularly amusing. I also hope that when I find the love of my life, they won't get on my nerves.

PostSecret - Sometimes, and this is embarrassing to admit, there are entries that make me teary eyed. Watch out for that one because sometimes they have stuff not safe for work.

You know what I miss???

I miss the days of Jock Jams. The days of making up dance routines to songs like, BelBivDevoe (or whatever they are called)'s Poison. The days of dancing up a storm in my friend's kitchen to K7's Come Baby Come and doing the Toostie Roll at middle school dances. Those songs remind me of a more innocent time. A time where I was so super excited about having "cool" friends. You know, the friends that would go to the park so they could smoke behind the park shed while I watched (or in some situations played look out) because I was too much of a good girl in participating.

If anything, these songs most remind me of a friend, who I no longer talk to, named Josh. I knew him as a younger child. His cousins used to live in the flat above mine, and my family and his family didn't get along. It wasn't until I met him again about 5 years later, both of us in our early teens, that we became friends. He was one of those "cool" people that stayed out waaaaay past the city curfew and he smoked and drank. Outwardly he had a very tough exterior, but when he was with me he was much more sensitive.

Mostly, when we were together, we talked about his undying love for my sister. I tried to support him, never really telling him that my sister was aware, and not interested, in his affections (Oddly enough, last news I did hear about him was that he was living in another city...with his boyfriend, go figure). After awhile, we just naturally drifted apart, but whenever they play those old Jock Jams-type songs on the radio, I think of our good times together.

So...do you like...stuff?

Today I went to a Teen Services Workshop. It was 99% about teen pregnancy. It kind of made me depressed. I don't know what I was expecting going into the workshop. Maybe some after school programs that were available, or college prep courses, or anything really. How could I, cousin to a 16 year old girl who is pregnant with baby #2, not know the reality of today's situation. Fooey to kids today for not knowing/caring about safe sex. If I every have kids (that is a strong IF) I am encasing their entire bodies in latex, or lamb's skin if they are allergic to latex. OK, maybe I won't really do that but I will make sure that get proper sex education (along with knowing the physical, mental and emotial ramifications). Screw abstinence only education.

Today I heard the phrase, "He made the entire office smell like Olde English," come out of my supervisor's mouth and it made me smile for the rest of the afternoon. Nothing like mentioning a 40 oz to amuse me so. I think a lot of my friends who think I am a lush will be surprised to know that I never drank from a 40 oz before. See, I am a good girl.

I also feel the need to share this, since I love blogs about cute animals and wacky tags/commentary.

Negative Kudos: Credit Card Companies

Dear American Express and Citibank,

I AM NOT A BOY. So please stop addressing mail to me as Mr. Holland MyLastName. Don't even make me buy one of these in an adult size. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Hugs and Kisses,

Holland, the woman.

I watch too much TV

Television sometimes makes me so angry. I wish I was one of those people that could say, "I don't watch TV. It is for the uncreative and lazy," or some other kind of pompous ass thing to say. However, television was sunk it's firm grasp into me at a young age, ever since those Sesame Street/Mr. Rogers Neighborhood/Zoobilee Zoo days. But what exactly about TV gets me so angry? I am angry at television programs for allowing me to be angry and disappointed with it. I should not be allowed to have any emotion when it comes to this subject matter. Instead I should be allowed to mindless drone in front of it without having to invest myself into it too much.

I guess what I am most upset about with TV is how unrealistic it can be. Maybe this is why I like shows like Heroes. It doesn't even try to portray "real" life (oh no, did I just kill the hopes of all people out there that hope they can someday possesses superhuman powers?). In the world of television, the average woman is 5'7", 100 lbs, and gets sex regularly with a different man each time. I don't know what kind of reality that is, but it is not a reality I live in. I live in a reality where woman are a variety of heights, and weights (even the skinny ones may have a little cushioning in the mid-section) and can go ***GASP*** months and even more without sex (of any kind with any gender). But instead on television, I am told that this is the standard of beauty:



Don't get me wrong. I am kind of hippie at heart, that believes everybody possesses some kind of beauty, but this just makes me think, "Is it human? Is it... ***pokes with toe*** ...alive?" Or maybe its just my disdain for her character on Grey's Anatomy (how is one, that hasn't been breathing on their own for an hour, still alive and not brain dead?), which gets me to my next thing I hate about TV: title characters.

They always suck the life out of a show. Grey's Anatomy, Ally McBeal, What about Brian (oh god, I can't believe I admitted to even watching one episode of that), and much more. The title character is always the least interesting person on the show but you know they won't get killed off, because what will the show be called then? I would like to know a show that had a title character that didn't suck (and don't tell me Buffy or Gilmore Girls because those shows just sucked in general and yes I am being immature and uncreative by reusing the word "suck" but can you blame me, I am a TV viewer).

I will say there is one exception to the rule, Ugly Betty. I like the title character, but I wouldn't say she is my favorite character on the show. So perhaps it isn't an entire exception to the rule.

Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players - Eggs

I tried posting this before, but lets try it again.

Here's the rundown. They are a family that would go to estate sales, collect slideshows and decided to write songs about them. Dad keyboards and guitars, daughter drums, mom slideshow projects. I think everyone sings. They are political at times. Almost always awesome.

My family: a constant source of embarassment...for other people

Last night, I went back to my hometown to have dinner with my family to celebrate my dad's birthday. We chose to go to this nice-ish place that seems to be a family restaurant, with a nice fireplace in a small village. It seems like one of those places you go to after church. My family decides that this is a place to loudly discuss sex shops. Particularly, what was the difference between your standard adult porn shop and your standard woman's pleasure shop and how one is gross, creepy and old man filled and the other is more hippie filled, not so gross but a little awkward.

After our mother got over the initial shock that her children went to such places, both her and my father participated in said discussion. No one in my family hesitated or was embarrassed, but their were some red faces, particularly in my brother-in-law and my brother's girlfriend. Perhaps it was because the table next to us just so happened to leave right when the discussion started (or was it when I was discussing nipple clamps???). I just now realized I might be getting some weird website visitors with a few simple search terms.

Some other random stuff I learned about my mom this weekend, that I didn't know before:

-when my mom was younger she used to call into the local radio station and dedicated songs to boys she liked in school (she was totally THAT girl)
-she (like me) thinks that it is not right to steal from the plastic candy/nut bins at the grocery stores or for that matter steal a grape from the produce department
-when my sister was about 1, my mom and dad took her to see Elvis Costello play at Summerfest (a Milwaukee music festival)...isn't that kind of awesome?

And now back to your regularly scheduled Negative Kudos: Jackass Impersonators

So I missed last week, due to a) sleeping in from my late flight from San Antonio and b) forgeting what day it was because I was too busy that night dancing with my cousin's one year old daughter. Who knew that spinning around while holding a kid and listening to Spoon's "The Way We Get By" could cause that same kid to go into what can be only described as violent giggles.

Well here is my Negative Kudos for this week. Stupid people that mimic stupid movies like Jackass, and this time its not even teenagers.

A 43 year old man (yep, 43, I didn't accidently hit the 4 and mean to hit the 1) sprayed lighter fluid on a 20 year old willing participant's hands and gentals and then lit it. The 20 year old is now dealing with second degree burns. Not a surpise that alcohol was involved. This same stunt was shown on the Jackass movie.

Why one would even think to do those stunts is beyond me. At least the idiots making the movie are getting paid for it.

Adventures of the girl who knows jackshit

So I forgot to write about my conference experience last week in San Antonio. Here it goes. It will probably be disjointed because I am writing as the memories are coming to me.

I left two Sundays ago. I was lucky enough to be lifting off between the second and third waves of snow storms that Wisconsin (and most of theMidwest ) was experiencing. I really hate flying, but this wasn't that bad. Which was surprising because the weather would have made the ride bumpy, but it turned out to be fine (cannot be said for the ride home...more of that later).

Texas, itself, is not too pretty (Sorry Texans, I like the greenery of Wisconsin, when its not winter, and Texas is kind of sort of brown). However the weather was pleasant. It was in the high 70's the whole time, with a nice cool gentle breeze.

I felt totally out of place while at the conference. Service coordinators made up less than 10% of the people. Of the SCs, two were men, six were people of color, and only one other girl besides me was under the age of 30'sish. Most of them were old enough to have grandkids, as I could tell from their conversations.

There was one woman who looked like the oldest she could be was mid-30's. Then she started talking about herself, and her kids. She said her oldest was 29. I said, "Wait...how old is your oldest? 29?!?" In reality I was thinking, "Who in the huh in the what now???"Puerto Rico (where she is from) must have magic water.

The first training we had was called "How to help you, help others." When I first read that, I rolled my eyes. But as it turned out the training was actually interesting, and even inspiring. Just enough to get me out of my work funk....oh wait...just lost it. Never mind. (I should also not here she used the term "trust the process" which nearly made me go into compulsions from past experiences with that term. She also told us that in order to successfully work with and for people one cannot be sarcastic. Damn, there goes my whole strategy).

I want to quickly note that while in Texas, I thought every other man was in the military, but as it turns out there was a military-type conference going on. I'm very good at noting my surroundings.

Overall the conference made me feel really inferior because apparently I don't know proper procedure and standards. I basially had a meltdown when confronted about my inconsistencies in documentation and contacts. Luckily all the other SCs were very sympathetic and willing to help me out to get on the proper track. (However as it turns out, I found out that I am doing fine and what I do is vastly different than the otherSCs due to the population I work for. No meltdown was needed).

I only really left the hotel and went downtown one night. All the other nights I was attending receptions, too exhausted or puffy-faced from the crying meltdown (sometimes I can be really really emotional). That night I went out was a night a large group of us went out (a bus was provided). We had dinner at some Mexican restaurant where a Mariachi band played right next to us. Outside they had a concert going on, Taking Back Sunday was playing.

After dinner we went to the River Walk area. TO get there you walk down the stairs from the downtown streets, and it feels like you walk into a different area. It was beautiful (not that San Antonio itself is, but River Walk is gorgeous). They had lights dangling from the branches of trees. The shops/restaurants/hotels and sidewalks were literally right next to the river. It was more narrow than I expected. Tour boats (some were even dinner boats) were constantly going up and down the river. I liked the crowd also. Over great ambiance...ick I sound like a brochure. The Alamo was...surprisingly disappointing but then again, I don't know what I was expecting.

The flight home went to fine, to slightly scary. We had a layover in Minneapolis. Up until then flight...fine. Then from there to Milwaukee...scary and annoying. We were flying with a storm, turbulence the whole way back, lots of rocking making me nauseous and the girl barfing next to me didn't help. Oh and that kid crying THE WHOLE TIME didn't help either.

Winter in Wisconsin. I LOVE IT.

Some more good stuff I almost forgot about

Remember Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theatre? That crap was awesome.

I still remember, as a youngin', my mom would take me and my sibling on outings to the local public library. We would sit around, read books, sign-up for some computer game time (Oregon Trail baby!!!!~~~~I always seemed to die of dysentery or cholera). Before we left we almost always checked to see if there were any Faerie Tale Theatre videos available to check out. They had to be ones we didn't already see of course but we almost always left with one we never saw before.

Because all things seem to be exaggerated as children, I thought there were millions and millions of "episodes" but as it turned out there were only 26. Some of them, I don't even remember, such as The Boy Who Left Home to Find Out About the Shivers and the Snow Queen.

I almost forgot how awesome they were. Fairy Tales, or Faerie Tales-whatever, are almost always super cool to kids. Since I was the girliest girly girl as a kid, I loved them because I always imagined myself as the princesses and getting rescued by the handsome prince (now I imagine myself as being the kick ass princess rescuing the hot prince).

As an adult now, I can appreciate that some very awesome actors and directors worked in the productions. And also there is the nostalgia factor. Who doesn't like nostalgia?

The installments that I remember and love are:

The Tale of the Frog Prince (Teri Garr and Robin Williams)
Sleeping Beauty (Christopher Reeve)
Goldilocks and the Three Bears (Tatum O'Neil)
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Cinderella (Jennifer Beals, Matthew Brodrick)
The Princess Who Never Laughed (Ellen Barkin and Howie Mandel)

Mick Jagger even stared in one!

One downside was that Shelley Duvall creeped me out, and kind of still does.

Negative Kudos: Entertainment News

A) If I hear another story about Anna Nicole Smith or Britney Spears I may scream, throw myself to the floor, and kick at random people.

B) At the same time...I am 100% enthralled. Its like a quasi-real soap opera. I may as well throw in the towel, buy a trashy tabloid, and admit to myself I have an additive guilty pleasure. *Shakes fists towards sky* DAMN YOU MARY HART!

Why YouTube is cool sometimes...

It introduces you to cool artists, such as this guy- Phil Hansen. It makes me wish I was artistically talented.

The Heroes Cast is Pretty

This is really just a way for me to talk about the prettiness.

Nathan Petrelli played by Adrian Pasdar: I will describe the character as upper crusty hot. The kind that is so high strung and uptight, you can't but help to find it endearing. I ask the writers of Heroes to implement more shirtless flying scenes. Stat.


Peter Petrelli (oooo alliteration) played by Milo Ventimiglia: His milkshake brings all the 12-25 year old fangirls (and some fanboys) to the yard. I would describe his appeal as soft and sensitive hot. He is just so deep.


Gabriel Gray AKA Sylar played by Zachary Quinto: Scary hot. Its hard to admit you find him attractive, what with the head slicing and maybe-brain eating.


Isaac Mendez played by Santiago Cabrera: He's an ex-heroin addict. So that means girls automatically have to be attracted to that character. Its the bad-boy-most-be-me-to-be-the-one-to-reform kind of hot.


Mohinder Suresh played by Sendhil Ramaurthy: He has a bunch of semi-to-very annoying voice overs. He's Professor Sex.

More to be continued later.

Swords are for heroes...or samurais and dragon slayers

I can't even begin to talk about the ridiculousness of this story:

A man, believing to hear a woman crying for help during rape, enters the neighbor's apartment. The man had no telephone so he could not call for police, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. He kicked down the door, only to find that the cries for help were actually coming from a pornographic movie.

Weirdest thing of all...the almost hero, entered the apartment with a sword. A SWORD.

Kind of weirder, when the police came to arrest the would be hero (criminal trespass while using a dangerous weapon, criminal damage to property while using a dangerous weapon and disorderly conduct while using a dangerous weapon) the porn watching man showed the police the spot in the movie he believed caused the misunderstanding. Boy, I hope he made some popcorn for his guests.

At least, from what I've read, that neighbors (even the one that got, um, interrupted) are glad that someone in the area cares enough to take action when they believe someone is in trouble. True but...a sword?

Negative Kudos: Tim Hardaway

Former Miami Heat basketball player, Tim Hardaway joins the long line of homophobic assholes by making some harsh statements about homosexuals shortly after former Utah Jazz player John Amaechi came out of the closet. Here is what he had to say:

First of all, I wouldn't want him on my team. And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don't think that is right. I don't think he should be in the locker room while we are in the locker room.

Yeah, because he would totally molest all his teammates one by one because as a gay man he is attracted to every single man in the world. Oh and also this:

You know I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States. So yeah, I don't like it.

And:

If you have 12 other ballplayers in your locker room that's upset and can't concentrate and always worried about him in the locker room or on the court or whatever, it's going to be hard for your teammates to win and accept him as a teammate.

I sincerely hope that not all players are as hateful as you, asshat.

Oh, and what a surprise, he feed the media a nicely prepared kiss ass apology not that much later:

"Yes, I regret it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said I hate gay people, or anything like that. That was my mistake."

Really sincere!

How to get a free cup-o-joe from the corner coffee shop

1. Go to your car in the morning and turn on.

2. While car is running, "unlock" doors and go outside to get snow off windows. Purposely hit the lock in stead of unlock button, while making sure your purse, cell phone, AAA card, money etc is inside the car.

3. When done cleaning the car, attempt to open door and looked shocked when you realize that the door is locked, with the car running. You were so sure that you hit that damn unlock button.

4. Enter corner coffee shop, where you know police officers are every morning, with car brush in hand and ask for help to get into your car.

5. You totally already have prior knowledge that Milwaukee Police no longer help in these situation (because of some BS about liability on "breaking" the car's power windows by accidentally messing with wires). So they tell you to call AAA.

6. Give the near tears look in your face when you tell them your AAA card, cell phone and house keys are locked in your car. Police officer will then lend you cell phone and get the AAA number for you.

7. Owner of coffee shop will see you sniffling (in case you can't cry for real, get a cold real quick like me) and said owner will demand that you take a free cup of coffee for all your troubles.

All this will cost you is:

• 20 minutes waiting on hold for a representative.
• Another 10 minutes while representative tries to find your 16 digit membership number, which you for some reason just can't memorize.
• Then another 60 minutes while you wait for the damn tow truck which takes about one minute to unlock your damn door.
• Oh, and lets not forget the gas from the still running car.
• Being late for work.
  

I hate my luck.

Snow, Snow, Soft White Snow

Now to break the cold snap, the weather decides to turn to...Snowy. Yayyyyyyyyy. Actually I have no problem with snow, or even snow storms. There is actually something very peaceful about snowfalls. Of course, I am only referring to the times that you are staring outside the window from the safety of your own home. If you are staring out the window at a snowstorm from anywhere else, you are not feeling anything other than anxiety about the car ride home. Or maybe that's just me, and how I am feeling right now. Except its not really snow-storming outside, more like just snowing. I'm just a really excitable person.

The title of this blog comes from a play I was in when I was about 6 years old. It was the called the Selfish Giant, I believe. I was...wait for it...a snow flake. It was my job to come in, do a choreographed dance and "wilt" the flowers (one of which was my sister). All while I, along with the other 4-5 snowflakes, sang the following song:

Snow, snow, soft white snow
Snow, snow, gentle snow
Cover the earth with your blanket white
And softly say goodnight, goodnight

Yes, I remember the song, but only because my mother has me recorded practicing the song and dance. She likes to torture me with the video.

It was to be my acting debut, but alas, it was not meant to be. I was only able to do a few shows before I was infected with the dreaded chicken pox.

I probably consoled myself by putting on the Captain and Tennille record and lip syncing Muskrat Love to myself in the mirror. I may or may not have actually done that as a child.

Negative Kudos: Arctic Blast, Beater Cars and Colds

Not my drawing, or actually me

It has been almost a week now that each day started off with (and pretty much remained for the rest of the day) at negative degrees Fahrenheit. Just imagine what the windchill contributed to that cold.

Not my actual car

I thank the heavens, that my agnostic soul questions exists, that my car was able to start and run. Now if only that beater could actually dispense heat. Yeah, that would be nice but at least the car is running.

Not actually me

Also, as I write this, I am sweating my balls off in my over heated office. Well, I don't have balls, but if I did, they would be gone due to this sweat box. The fact that I am wearing layered clothes (for the cold car rides to and from home) and have a cold AGAIN do not help my rising body temperature. Yes, that's right. I am trying to obtain the goal of getting a cold every month for one year straight. So far, I have October-February. Wish me luck for my continued success.

Negative Kudos: Senator Biden

Senator Joe Biden (D-Delaware) has been in the news for making the following statement regarding Senator Barack Obama (D-Illinois)***its a supposed compliment***:

"first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."

Mmmmm. Smells like ignorance.

Anytime that any black person is describes as "articulate" I wince. Aren't all politicans, regardless of race, supposed to be articulate and bright? But to give the guy some credit, even our own President of the United States of America has described Obama as "articulate."

And CLEAN? What the fuck is up with that? In this story, he later explained that by clean, he meant "fresh/new."

The statement comes off as saying, all African Americans that are in the mainstream, are not intelligent, don't speak well, DIRTY!!!, and ugly. Sorry Condi Rice, Oprah, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Colin Powell, Louis Farrakhan etc etc.

I am hoping that Biden learns how to filter the words coming from his head to his mouth.

Oh, and a Happy Black History Month to all.

Say It Ain't So So, George!

I was listening to the radio this morning and some information they kept in their "junk drawer" (the celebrity gossip) was that there are rumors circulating that George Clooney is dating Pamela Anderson-Lee-Rock or whatever her last name is. Granted this is a huge step up for her and a giant step down for him, even though I don't doubt the fact that George is a big STD-filled man-whore but I kind-of-sort-of thought him to be "better" than that. Way to prove me wrong. He is sooooo off my Celebs I Would Bang list. And I am sure he would cry a river hearing that news.

Negative Kudos: Pick N' Save produce department

Ah, I almost forgot about my weekly installment. Here it goes.

Last time I went shopping I was very much disappointed with the selection of produce at the Pick 'N Save where I shop. Lets list the problems I had:

• The price: I don't buy organic for one reason alone; I can't afford it. Its one of the wonderful things about our world today. The rich can afford a healthy life style (food and exercise and the time it takes for all of that) whereas the working and lower class have to scrap buy just to load up on the groceries that lead to poor health like obesity, diabetes, high cholesterol etc. (I remember there being an article I once read for a woman's studies class that spoke more about this but I forget who wrote it. So instead I will encourage you to read Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf. Hell, that might be the book I was talking about).

Anyway, back to the food. An example of the price hike-so-high-it-caused-camel-toe. I rarely buy oranges outside the summer months because they are expensive but I always note the price for reasons I can't explain besides me being a nerd. The price of one orange raised by 15 cents from the last time I was there (about three weeks). They were trying to be all clever by declaring "4/$3" but I always notice the price increase which the oranges weren't the only victims of in the department.

• The freshness: I was looking for lettuce. I usually eat romaine lettuce but when I neared it I noticed that it was not looking too good. There was a hot mess of brown goo going on. And even that crap was over priced. I decided to instead go with a head of iceberg lettuce which was about the size of my fist. Once again the lettuce was not the only victim of this as the entire department looked either dried and crusted up or soggy and brown.

• The variety and amount: That of what was left and visually edible was being snapped up ferociously by the other shoppers. I managed to get out with that lettuce, apples, carrots and a celery stick (OK, two).

I know, it is winter and all over the country we are experiencing cold weather but is it really THAT bad? Maybe I just came on a bad day but I was in a bad mood for the rest of my shopping. Not even when I picked up some ice cream on sale, was I again happy. Was that too over dramatic?

Not the actual Pick 'N Save produce department.

Whoa...I got mentioned in a Facebook group

On Facebook, there is (high school person lead I should indicate) this group. I don't know if you can access it without an account but let me highlight some goodies if you can't see it:

"Further, after being booted out of the "First name Holland, last name..." group, I came to realize that [my last name] Holland (also erroneously known as "Holland [my last name]") is the root of this terrible nomenclature epidemic. Please help her through this time of need by endlessly friending her and inviting her to our wonderful community. If we sway her, we may just win the battle!"

Ah, high schoolers, I didn't even know I was in a battle. To be known: I have yet to be "endlessly friended" or invited to any community (I *think* this means I win) but I admire their trollish ways. But I give him positive kudos for using the phrase "nomenclature epidemic." It made me giggle. Me thinks we have a future chemist on our hands.

The thing I liked about Facebook, was that it was originally a college site. This meant that immature teenagers that sign up for 100 "groups" didn't have to troll around the site.

Note: The following actors play BROTHERS

I watched Heroes last night, of course. It was really good. What I saw:

• Radioactive Man practices his skills in some cabin.
• Future seeing guy, his ex, flying politico, time and space jumper and his friend all joined together in NYC to try to find a way to stop the exploding man.
• Peter the power absorber wake from a coma and later run into a invisible man.
• Claire fall from a tower again to prove to NOTGAYZach that she can heal herself, and so she can get an ally once again.
• Professor Sex and that dude in the glasses exchange words about THE LIST, while Syler lies comatose in Primatech.
• Voice-hearer confess to his cheating wife that he hears voices, and not in the crazy way. But other people think that Niki/ikiN does hear voice and that she is McCrazy pants, and oh and super strong without the help of ikiN (ok, or Jessica whatever).
• Some how Linderman (the guy that is funding and buying everything) and that squiggly s-thing figured into the show as well.
• Oh yeah...we also saw this from the Petrelli Brothers:

The wrongfully HOTT screen cap came from here. The writers and/or actors so know that the viewers are eating up the hoyay/broyay. Dang, they touch each other a lot.

The worst day of the year?

Today is considered the most depressing day of the year according to this and several other articles. It chalks up to failed New Years resolutions, it being Monday, in the middle of winter, bills and long nights (shorter days).

I would agree with this, that this time of year does truly suck. But people are forgetting that today is also the day that Heroes is coming back. Seriously, I am super pumped about this. I never thought I would get this excited about a television show (OK, besides Arrested Development and Ugly Betty) let alone a "sci-fi/fantasy" show.

Things I am excited to find out:

Who are Claire's (the indestructible cheerleader) parents?
What/who does the Horn Rimmed Glasses man (Claire's adoptive father) work for and does he have special powers?
What the hell is up with Niki and her alter ego Jessica (or ikiN as she is referred to on televisionwithoutpity.com)?
Who blows up New York City and how?
Why is Syler both scary and sexy?
What is up with those marks on the neck and does it have anything to do with that s shape symbol thingy?

Thing I am most excited about:

Seeing all the prettiness of the cast.

Cute Overload is overloading in the cuteness

I cannot stop talking about CuteOverload.com. It is the best website ever. It takes little effort. Just look at the cute picture and read the short witty caption and you will be happy. It melts even the blackest of hearts, like my own.

The only downfall is that the "squee" high you experience upon seeing all the cute, might not last long enough to get you through you torturous work day. Oh wait, is that just me? However, my visit today should get me through it (along with the anticipation of tonight's long awaited return of Heroes...yippee). Here are my favorite pictures I saw today:

Mama Horse using her pony as a pillow:
Kitty in a (Packer?) sweater:
Seriously. Look at the ear holes on that tiny sweater. That crap is ridiculous.

Negative Kudos: Isaiah Washington

Apparently, long ago in early October, there was a scuffle on the set of Grey's Anatomy between Isaiah Washington (who plays Preston Burke) and Patrick Dempsey (plays Derek Shepard). I don't remember reading too much about it but apparently it was about cast members being late to the set, there was some throat grabbing and Washington using the sentence, "I'm not your little faggot like (at the time the name was deleted for privacy sake, later it was found to be TR Knight who plays George O'Mallay)." This lead to Knight, publicly "coming out" as a homosexual man. Soon after it seemed like the waters had calmed down.

Come to this past Monday, following the Golden Globe win for Grey's Anatomy, the cast was collected in the press room when a reporter asked the show's creator to talk about how they are handling the above situation. This lead Washington to walk up to the microphone (uninvited by the way) and proclaim, "No, I did not call TR a faggot. It did not happen" Everyone (reporter and cast) looked uncomfortable, and the show's creator quickly changed the subject. Washington did not help matters when he continued to state he never used that "vile" word and that, “I love gay. I wanted to be gay. Please let me be gay.” He also kissed Dempsey to prove how OK he is with the gays. TR later confirmed in an interview on Ellen, that Washington did in fact use the word.

Since I do not know him personally, I am not one to proclaim that Isaiah Washington is homophobic or prejudice (although he sure is coming off like such) but from what I know and how he portrays himself I would call Washington insensitive and ignorant. Even I had problems writing that word twice in this blog. It is just so hateful.

One more reason Washington is getting a negative kudos? Unfortunately falling into the stereotype of angry black man who hates the gays. You should really read the bell hooks article Homophobia in Black Communities. It is a good read.

Also, I am thinking I should make Negative Kudos a weekly installment, as I find that I am always mentally giving people (celebrities, political figures, personalities, everyday people etc.) negative kudos, AKA finger wagging of shame, mental cussing out, evil eye glare etc. Lets see if I have the attention span to remember to do this.

John Mayer: Why do I care?

Ok, so this news has been around forever but I am bored and feel like airing my feeling on this matter:

John Mayer and Jessica Simpson

I am not a John Mayer fan. His music grates my nerves. It reminds me of the stuff of frats and sororities and all this Aeropostale. Also, I don't really find him all that attractive. I will give him that he has his times that he looks ok-to-hot but I just chalk that up to me liking tall and lean guys. But other than that, he looks kind of funny. I can't put my finger on what exactly it is but I do remember reading somewhere a funny comparison, of which I cannot remember (I googled the term "John Mayer looks like" and came up with a whole funny list of outcomes which I will end with).

So with all this music hatred and "meh" attitude on looks, why am I so disappointed in JM dipping into the JS sauce? I had to go and have a little bit of respect for him because the dude is quite funny. Anyone that can say: "You might describe a "phase" as that year you spent in Boston, or the six months you hung with that ham radio salesman in Guam. (Do your thing, mom!)" And make an entire post about his Jif peanut butter spreader idea (seen at his blog) is ok to me. (The first time I found out he was funny was seeing his special "John Mayer Has a TV Show" on Vh1 and he got feedback about his "image" from a focus group of his fans. This basically ended up making fun of himself and kind of, probably unintentionally, his fans for being all weepy and fangirly). He just makes me chuckle, secretly though because I gotta keep my cool kid club card.

All this quasi-respect goes down the drain for dating a girl that was once married to that bo-hunk Lachey, sang...well any of her songs, and did and said all the things she did on Newlyweds. Oh, and lets not forget that she has a creepy dad too. Icky.

So here is what you find when you google "John Mayer looks like":

John Mayer Looks Like And Probably Is A Child Molester
John Mayer looks like Cesar from The Cabinet of Dr Caligari with his dark-circled eyes and deadsy stare
John Mayer looks like he’s hit the pipe one too many times
John Mayer looks like a bloated corpse
John Mayer looks like Edward Scissorhands
John Mayer looks like Mark “Zombie” Anthony
John Mayer looks like he could have been a Brady Bunch kid
John Mayer looks like he is going to throw up when he performs
John Mayer looks like a puckered anus
John Mayer looks like a character from “Where the Wild Things Are"
JOhn mayer looks like a muppet

none of these is what I was looking for, but I would like to share my personal favorite:

John Mayer looks like a prematurely born fetus

Wow, this post was a waste of my time.

Ugly Survival

Sometimes people ask me why I do and do not do certain things, and I look at them with a quizzical look as if they should know why, and doesn't everyone have this mentality? But then I remember that not everyone comes from a town where the residents do not have an alibi. This town is ugly town. What residents of my town do/do not do (to help those understand why I do certain things):

• Avoid photographs at all cost, especially if said camera is not your own. You don't want to be paying for any repair costs, let alone paying for an entirely new one when you break it with your ugness.
• If you somehow get caught in a photo, quicky cover your face/ugliest part with hair or some other object. Here is an example of some quick thinking on my part: (Janice Dickenson on America's Next Top Model once said that only ugly girls cover their faces with their hair. So true.)
• If for whatever reason, you like to get your picture taken don't mug/act "sexy"/make a goofy face as it will only make you look more ridiculous. I try to do as my ancestors do: remain stoic. You should take a look at all the photos taken of my for my sister's wedding:
• Don't try to cover your imperfections by wearing makeup or dressing cutely. Why? Once again, it makes you look even more ridiculous.
• Get friends that are uglier than you. Then, when you are out together, you are the pick of the litter. I am still working on this. But as it turns out, pretty people also have this rule.
• You know how almost everyone in the world have their own attractiveness rating system for potential mates? Well people in my town's rating system is entirely too high, standards need to be lowereed. Don't hit on a 10, you can chance it with a 5 but say it with me people, "2 is the new 10."
• Best yet is to not hit on anyone and let beer goggles take affect on all those 7ish potentials, and never take advantages of said sitatuations (remember too to always practice safe sex).

Now everyone, take a deep breath, and realize I write this with tongue set firmly in cheek. But everyone really should Be Ugly in 2007 or some shit like that. Watch Ugly Betty, its well.

OMG Kitties!!!11!!

Remember how I posted about my favorite scene from Scrubs (and probably from anything, like, ever). Here it is.

The kind of news that puts Sheboygan in the headlines

Here is a story about a picture taken from the late 1800's of a man sitting on a dead horse in the middle of the street on the south side of Sheboygan. Who the man was and why he is sitting on the horse is a mystery but apparently its a popular mystery, as it has been circulating around the Internet.

I never even heard of the photo. Granted I probably visited the Sheboygan Historical Society, once my whole life but the photo isn't a popular lore around town.

Sometimes I am really proud to be from Sheboygan: known for its brats, surfing and pictures of men sitting on dead horses.

Three Cheers for Unprotected Sex!!!

Or not.

This weekend I got a phone call from my dad. This should have tipped me off that the news was not good. Next The Dad said, "Hollie, are you sitting down?" Now, given that the last time my dad called me (The Mom usually is the one calling with The Dad yelling stuff in the background that he wants me to know) he informed me that my grandma was unresponsive in the hospital, my mind started to think Oh my, who died this time as my heart raced. Then he informed me that my teenage cousin (that already had one child when she was 14) was once again pregnant at the age of 16.

At first I had a sense of relief. OK, no one died. Next was the feeling of FUCK! I can't believe she let that gross guy come near her (yes it was the same guy that knocked her up). Final feeling, which is still occurring, that poor kid. That kid will be even more screwed up that the one that is here now. I am worried that the baby is not getting good prenatal care. Also, my cousin is missing out on her quality teenage years. It is such a tragedy.

Worse yet, she is due a month before my sister. So this means that my cousin's family has been keeping it from us for a while. But as I told my mom, the first time round I could bite my tongue because mistakes happen. However, this type of mistake does not happen twice and the next time I see my cousin I will be gifting her with boxes upon boxes of condoms and lubrication (as well as a lesson on how they work) along with a lesson on birth control pills and the alternatives to them. I know that she is pregnant and its too late (AGAIN) but I can at least prevent from her having three before 18. Lord knows someone needs to be teaching her some sex education, because her "vow" never to have sex again really seemed to work.

An alternative title I was thinking I could use: My Family=White/Native American Trash at Its Finest.

Box O' Kittens

I watched Scrubs tonight. OK, I wasn't really paying close attention, it was just on in the background and I was tuning in and out while I surfed the net, gotta multitask. However in one section that I happen to be paying close attention to had probably the funniest and best scenes ever seen on television. Here's how it went:

JD (main character who is a doctor for those who don't know/haven't watched the show) had a patient who was young and suffering from heart failure, with no prior medical condition and no family history of heart disease. He spent most of the episode worrying and obsessing over it. Later JD realized that in prior conversations he had with the woman, in which she stated that she was single and had no family, he never noticed that she was wearing a wedding ring. Apparently she was married but her husband had recently died. She was suffering damage to her heart due to stress: a broken heart (it was worded differently in the show I believe).

JD was then speaking with the the hospital therapist and asked how one cured a broken heart. This then led to one of JD's fantasies (which are standard in Scrubs episodes) in which he is standing over the woman saying that he has the cure, a box of kittens which he then proceeds to dump on her, followed by him listing off a list of side effects which I missed because I was busy giggling.

I continued to miss the rest of the episode imagining a box of kittens being dumped on me, followed by me playing, petting, kissing and cuddling with them. I think the box o' kitties would look something like this:


Come on! Who wouldn't want their own personal box of kitties? Mean people with no souls, that's who. Also, I believe this is the second time I referenced Scrubs, the first being the post when I mentioned that I named my body pillow Diego because I thought it was funny when JD named his Catalina and said it was his girlfriend.

Edited this for clarification.

...Happy New Year...

So basically from the last time I posted until up to four days ago I was back in my hometown of Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Good times. Sometimes you forget how nice it is just to sleep, eat and veg out without having to worry about work, doing chores and running errands. So instead of boring you with very tedious details of my "vacation" I will bore you with unnecessarily detailed snippets of my time off:

• My friends came to visit me and we went out for a few drinks. While at the bar I got dirty looks from girls that I went to high school with and never spoke to (let alone had a class with).
• I didn't see any of my old high school friends mostly because I was too much of a bum to call them or make any effort to get off of my lazy ass.
• I went shopping for gifts for four people (and some small presents for cousins) because I was a) broke and b) you guessed it, lazy.
• Got some cool presents such as Teen Witch, Little Miss Sunshine and a box set of the Greatest Hits of Queen.
• While at a family gathering, playing Family Feud board game my five year old cousin answered with my sisters name when asked "Who is a famous person with a big belly?" (my sister is 4.5 months pregnant). Of course he was thoroughly embarrassed but we all reassured him that, while she was not an answer, yes Rianna does have a big belly.
• I had about as much family time as I could handle so I went back to Milwaukee and attended a Bucks game. They actually won too. Woot.
• I spent New Years Eve at first shopping for maternity pants for my sister and then at my friend Danielle's playing Scene It and 90's Trivial Pursuit. Nice laid back night (for the most part) without heavy drinking and debauchery but what does one expect when hanging out with a pregnant lady.

What I am most proud of during my stay with my family is that I managed not to get in a fight or bring up the stupidity of my brother dropping out of UW-Madison. I am really starting to mature....well, kind of.

Some Bizarre Things I Found Online Today

• Is this thing actually for real? Ok, I know I'm not a parent and I don't know how hard it is to use a public bathroom when you have a toddler and no stroller, but is it really necessary to put them in a harness and strap them to a stall door?
• My friend Carrie once told my sister and I that she believed that we were born without butt cracks because she never saw us sporting butt cleavage. Her rationale was that with today's style of jeans, whether people liked it or not, you were going to reveal some cleavage of the ass at some point. She never once saw an indent on us. First I do have a butt crack/cleavage. Now the rumours of me being an alien can be laid to rest. Second, now I know I can be involved in this protest. There is nothing better in the world when an individual fights for the rights of individuals to expose their butt cleavage in full glory. You have to know that are forefathers would be doing the same.
• When I first logged into Yahoo today, to check my email, I saw this article displayed in the "in the news" section. Does the other half of "America's Funniest People" (or as some others no her the girl ....um "riding" the hood of the car in the video for White Snake's Here We Go Again), deserve such prominent display? No, I didn't think so. (Ew. I just admitted to watching America's Funniest People and knowing White Snake.)
• Ever have one of those days where you just want to bust some heads, and then you see this and all is well again?

I'm getting sick...again

This will be my third cold since October. One for every month since then. What the frick? It's like my immune system has completely given up on me. Every germ I come into contact with just conquers me.

I blame for the extreme changes in the weather. December 1st we had a blizzard that dump nearly a foot of snow on us. For the next week we had bitterly cold weather. Since then we have been gradually experiencing increased temperatures. Then, just like that, yesterday all the snow that came from the blizzard has basically melted away. My body doesn't like this change.

Because I am bored, I am also going to amuse myself with a top 5. Here it goes:

Top 5 Movies I Almost Forgot About
(movies I watched when I was younger, then go an extended period of time without seeing it, followed by someone mentioning it and me proclaiming, "Oh yeah, I know that movie. I loved that movie!")

1. Monster Squad - About a group of kids that have to battle Count Dracula and other movie monsters (except for Frankenstein's monster who becomes their friend).--Hey speaking of Frankenstein's monster, did you hear that Peter Boyle died? that is sad.--The one awesome part I remember from the movie is the line, "Wolfman's got nards."

2. Little Monsters - I thought about this movie before I noticed it was listed in the "other items customers bought" section of Monster Squad. Anyway, Fred Savage is in this movie. There is a monster that lives under his bed. The monster is gross, so of course it has to be Howie Mandel. The movie kind of frightened me as a kid, so needless to say I liked it a lot. I was a weird kid.

3. Troop Beverly Hills - I'll be honest, I did not/will not almost forget this movie. It is embedded into my soul forever. I must have made my mom rent this movie at least once every two months. I wanted Shelley Long to be my Troop leader, and I wasn't even in Scouts. We don't need no stinkin' patches!

4. License to Drive - Starring the Coreys (Haim and Feldman) this movie is about a guy who fails his driver's test only to fake his passing it so he can take the hot girl (played by Heather Graham) out on a date. I like all Corey movies but I liked this one the most because it was Haim-centered and he was my favorite of the Coreys. My second favorite Corey film is Dream a Little Dream for one reason a lone: "It's a party! Who's got the chips???" Besides, I talked about that movie before.

5. And for the impending holiday season: Santa Claus: The movie - Dudley Moore and John Lithgow. Do I really need to say more? Ok. According to sites that talk about the movie there are essentially two parts. The first part (of which I don't remember) revolves around how Santa Claus became Santa Claus. The second half is set around the theme of saving Christmas from an evil business man and an elf that has strayed. Things I remember from this movie include exploding candy canes and two kids that some how help in the mission to save Santa.

Retrojunk is a good site to reacquaint yourself with some awesome movies (television shows, toys, video games etc.) from your past.

Even though I am no longer in school, I get my own mini winter vacation.

I got a little bit scared yesterday when my boss came into my office hands me a piece of paper and says that I have been there too long and they have to let me go...

*me giving blank stare which whimpers confusion and fright*

...What she really meant to say is that with the calender coming to an end, I have not taken enough paid vacation/personal days that would not roll into the next year if I didn't eat them up by the end of the month. What does this all mean? Well, this means I have Dec 20th-Jan 1 off. No work for almost two weeks. Weee. I do not know what I will do with myself.

P.S. I got news recently that my brother is quitting UW-Madison. Probably the dumbest move he has/will ever make but whatever. I keep on repeating to myself, "It's his life, not mine. It's his life not mine." But if there is any truth to the rumors that he quit because he didn't want to end up "like me" (that being in a 'low paying/no respect job' that isn't representative of my degree) I will have to slap a pinko-commie-turned-capitalist bitch.

P.S.S. Today I am one year older, and I am feeling old.

Boys say the "sweatest" things to me

First, let me say, that the very first Sweetest Day my mom and dad spent together, my dad gave her a card that said she was the "Sweatest" person he knew. My mom kept it to show people the funny.

Ok, now that I have that out of the way, let me get to the real content of my post:

It doesn't happen that often, but guys do hit on me. Of those guys that hit on me, 99% of the time they are drunk out of their minds. I kid not. When it does happen, oh...comic gold. Lets look at some of the good lines, each bullet point is one new and wonderous boy:

• Random guy in Walgreens: "Hey baby! You're tall like me, lets make babies." Mmmmmm
• Random little guy named Mikey, Micky and Powder (he was wee little white hip-hop dude) after insulting my teeth, and clothing style: "So me and my friend are going back to his place to smoke a bowl, you want to come with?" Your words are undressing me.
• Guy blatantly staring at my breasts: Me-"Are you staring at my boobs?" Him-"No...*stares*...but they are really nice." Ewww.
• After making out and then finding out he has a girlfriend: "So my roommate is single and a really nice guy." Ohhhh where do I sign up?
• Guy this past weekend, after calling me a closed-off liberal hippie, told me I said the stupidest thing he ever heard and telling girls around us that they were sluts (to their face), hands me a napkin with his contact information: "You have 2-5 days before I lose interest." Don't worry, I'm still at day 2. I'm just working up the nerve to email that asshole.

That's is all I can think of. If any friends of family can remember a good story I told them, let me know. I like remembering this crap.

So deliciously bad and corny that its Unbelievable!

This weekend I went to visit my friend Kelly who lives near Chicago. After going out for dinner and making our own version of a Sweaty Betty (Schnapps, whisky and sour)she asked me if I wanted to watch a movie. SO I looked at what she had, and I said, "Oh, Teen Witch! I haven't seen that in forever." So we watched it.

I think it was at this scene I turned to her and said, "Why do I NOT own this movie?"

Just listen to the song and ignore the images

I like this version of Anarchy in the UK (called Anarchy en espanol). Its done by Storm and the Balls. The lead singer (Storm Large) was on the show, Rockstar Supernova. Luckily for her she lost. I don't get why the person correlated the Naughy Sesame Street images with it, but whatever.

Movie to RENT

That would be Tenacious D: Pick of Destiny. It's ok, but I would say that it is not necessary to go see it in the movie theaters even if you are a Tenacious D and/or Jack Black fan (and I would consider myself both). It could have been funnier. They didn't utilize their song writing abilities to their fullest. I did, however, enjoy spotting out some cameo's such as Jack Black's Orange County co-star Colin Hanks. Anyway, just wait for the DVD release and rent/Netflix it.

I wouldn't have seen it anyway, but my brother wanted to go and said he would pay for my ticket. Since I never turn down free stuff (see all my posts about free beer) I went along.

Quotes

"You look like you have a little pow wow in you." - co-worker upon finding out I am half American Indian.

"You gain experience by playing with yourself.": About the Nintendo Wii Sports game (said all weekend long as a running joke)

My brother, mom and I talking about my other brother's kitten Gobi: "She is fat and lazy." My dad while walking into the room, "Hey, where IS your sister, Nanabutt?" Burn!

Turkey Day

The stuff that happened that always happens:

I always go back to my parent's place for Thanksgiving. So, this means that I am sleeping in my old bedroom (duh) which is right next to the kitchen and the morning of Thanksgiving I am awaken earlier then I want to because I hear my dad rattling around as he prepares the feast.

I get up and go to the living room where I usually join my mom and watch the Macy's Day parade. After this everyone gets showered/dressed and waits for whoever is joining us for the day. We eat and drink.

The people that need to, take a nap (trytophan!) and/or watch football. The rest of the night is conversation, dessert and more drinking.

Other stuff that happened this year that doesn't always happen:

My brother just recent bought Nintendo Wii (weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!). So almost everyone in the house was surrounding the television either participating or watching people play. I usually hate all video games, but this crap was actually fun. I think I like the fact that the controllers don't have a bazillion buttons and now you get an actual result when you move your controller around.

While poking around at my sister's stomach, I noted how it is actually getting pretty firm (she is 15 weeks). She isn't noticeably showing quite yet but you can definitely feel the difference in her belly.

Went to bed early because I had to work today (suckage).

Overall pretty uneventful T-Day.

But kids are sometimes cute

Photography (of sister's wedding) done by Rachel Droppers:

This is a picture of my sister with her friend's daughter Autumn. Autumn is like a niece to all of us.

This is a picture of my cousin Emily. She is one of the flower girls.
This is the groom with his nephew (the jr groomsman) and my cousin (the ring bearer).
Here is the other flower girl. Unfortunately she was a tad shy, so she didn't walk the aisle.
This young lady would be Kayla, my 8 year old cousin (jr bridesmaid and younger then the boy she walked with).

And these would be my cousin, the flower girl yet again. I couldn't help but post another picture of her. She is just too cute. The photographers couldn't even help themselves, they just kept on taking pictures of her. She was also really cooperative in posing for the pictures. She is a little ham. And yes, photos are copyrighted.

Kids do stupid things

This is a short bizarre story about my uncle (mom's brother). I have heard this story many times, but it still fails to not amuse me.

My mom and her family were driving up to the Menominee Reservation to visit family. This was, I am assuming based off the age range of my child-age uncle, sometime in the early 70's. They were all in a car driving on some little road (I forget if it was a dirt/gravel path or an actual road because sometimes I add untrue things into stories). Anyway, they were going at a not-too-fast speed, when out of the blue my uncle says, "Mannix!!!," and jumps out of the car, rolling on the ground.

Of course, the car was stopped and my uncle was fine. No need to take him to the hospital.

Mannix, was a television show about an Armenian American detective. In the opening sequence, Mannix is seen (?)rolling out of his car (think it is the scene depicted in the "M" box)(?)

Kids, don't copy what you see on TV, especially Heroes.

Hangin' Tough

Driving home, I stopped at a traffic light and walking down an alleyway to my right, were three 10-12 year old boys.

I don't know about you, but when I was that age, I was friends with some "bad" kids. They were known to swear and "smoke" cigarettes (by this I mean puff and not inhale). They would walk down the streets with "tough" looks on there faces. I wasn't as tough as they were, because I was a good kid and just not cool but I wanted to be cool. So that is why I hung out with them.

These kids reminded me of my old friends. So naturally I smiled in their direction. Then I saw them walk across the street in front of me. Midway through the light changed on them. Two of the three bolted across the street. The last one...wait for it...SKIPPED across the street. Not just skip, but skip almost joyfully.

This is when I started to laugh hysterically, which wasn't that good since I was now driving. It was just too funny to watch this kid, who was trying to look tough with his friends, skip across the street. Tough kids don't skip.

Tiny Baby Canopies

Sometimes, I question how I made it through college. Here is a good story:

While visiting my hometown of Sheboygan one weekend, I accompanied my mother to Target, to shop for my little cousins' birthday presents. So there we were walking down one of the sporting good aisle looking for a tiny golf set, or something equally cool and tiny, when I noticed something that looked like a tiny canopy made for a baby on the top shelves.

I pointed at it and asked my mother, "What the hell can fit under there?" My mom looked at me like I lost my mind and didn't answer me. A few minutes later, I asked again. "I don't know. Like a (lists off things that would not fit under a tiny canopy made for a baby)," says my mom. I give her a look like she is crazy. Me, being really angry about it, "No...Seriously! What can that cover? It's...oh."

This is when I realize that it is just a tent model. I noticed the other "tiny baby canopies" with boxes of normal sized tents under them. My mom noted my Eureka! face and started laughing at me while my face turned ten shades of red knowing that people heard our entire conversation. To make light of the situation, as we walked past a tiny sleeping bag model, I said to my mom, "Seriously, WHAT person can fit in that sleeping bag?"

Ummmm....I....was...really tired??? Ok, I have no excuses.

This story is an example of my superior intelligence, and why I am allowed to talk about politics.

South Africa "Forward"

South Africa is in the process of recognizing same sex unions. This comes about after the US election in which several states, including my home state of Wisconsin, passed amendments declaring a marriage between a man and a woman, thus making any other status similar to marriages (unions between ANY two individuals) invalid.

OK. First of all. South Africa! This is a country where a legal system of segregation, otherwise none as apartheid, was in place until 1990 (or somewhere in there). This is in a continent that looks down upon homosexuality (much like our own dear country). And yet, they are progressive enough to recognize that two individuals who are devoted to each other, need to have the legal rights to benefits that any couple is given.

Security in One's Sexuality

Did I ever mention that my family gets into really weird conversations when we are gathered together? One of the conversations we just recently had was about TV/Movie boyfriends/girlfriends. You know what I am talking about...Like how Benicio del Toro is my movie boyfriend...he just doesn't know it. This some how lead into us talking about our TV/Movie same sex crushes AKA "who we'd go gay for." My dad and brother-in-law were a little bit hesitant about admitting they had one. This is when my sister chirp in saying (not word for word but the idea): "It's not so much about the sex. It's more about admiring their talent and having that opportunity to stand next to you. Sort of like, 'Yeah, I'm awesome...Look at how awesome I am, I can get this person!'" So finally, they gave in. Brother-in-law: Sean William Scott "because he's funny." Dad: Tom Hanks "because I like his movies."

Other family members. Brother: George Clooney "because he's the man!" Mom: Charlize Theron "because she's so cute and sexy in that one movie." Sister: Natalie Portman I forget what she said exactly...probably something about being beautiful. Me: Catherine Zeta Jones besides being beautiful I like that she is not painfully stick thin, plus she was an awesome Welsh accent. Although he was not there to partake in the conversation, my other brother has a huge man-crush on Pierce Brosnan.

Hey, speaking of the gays, did you know that Wisconsin passed a marriage amendment stating:

"Only a marriage between one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state. A legal status identical or substantially similar to that of marriage for unmarried individuals shall not be valid or recognized in this state."

Phew...I am SO glad that traditional marriage has been saved. I just don't have time to explain gay marriage to some confused kids. Oh wait...you say that it is already illegal for the gays to marry? Hmmmm. Well, we all know, if I voted "no" that the gays would waste all their time and energy and money to take their case to the courts, waste some more time in appeals in the slight chance that it will be overturned. That would ruin my life, even though I don't know the individuals and they have no affect on my life. Just the thought that they are married would tear my family apart and cause a nuclear bomb to drop because we all know that the gays have ties with North Korea.

Also, if he let the gays marry, then there will be group marriage and people marry their dogs. Because they are all one and the same and people that advocate gay marriage have no morals and are all depraved sinners. Slippery slope people! Slippery slope! Don't question my illogical thinking because you will make baby Jesus cry.

Also, all of you live-in boyfriends who batter your girlfriends rejoice! Domestic violence laws will no longer apply to you.

Flipping someone off is not quite effective when wearing a mitten

Two things that are getting to me today:

1) My morning commute is starting to get to me. People cutting me off on the highway, when there is no room to cut me off, drives me up the wall! Usually, or so the rules of the road say, the far left lane is designated the "fast/pass" lane. Why do people insist on going 5 mph below the speed limit in this lane? In good weather? In daylight? Meanwhile people in the other lane are going the same speed or every so slightly more/less than that stupid car going 5 mph below the speed limit. There is nothing left for me to do but to stay behind the "fastest" car and make the "you're killing me" hand gestures.

2) I can't believe I am about to complain about this, because I am from Wisconsin and I should not be so much of a sissy wuss, but....IT'S COLD! In the morning, I wake up usually 30 minutes before my alarm clock goes off because I am cold. And then I hurry off to take a hot shower proceeded by a hurried attempt to get dressed and dry my hair. Seriously, my apartment does not know how to be warm, not even lukewarm.

Although, it is not so cold that I NEED to wear hats, scarves and mittens I wear my mittens while driving because the steering wheel is cold and it takes forever for my car to warm up.

On a side note...Why am I still wearing "mittens"? I should be wearing some chic gloves and be the sleek city girl that I am, what with....Oh, who am I kidding.

After work, as soon as I get into my apartment, I grab my fleece blanket and wrap myself with it and continue to wear it while I do my chores or watch TV. When its time for bed, I prepare my sheet, fleece, comforter (and sometimes extra comforter) cocoon that keeps me nice and toasty until I wake up 30 minutes before my alarm clock goes off because I am so dang cold (I should also note here, that when I wake up I also notice that I usually have kicked off two layers of my cocoon sometime in the night, so that might explain my being cold).

What makes me upset, is that I know it is only going to get worse, WAY WORSE.