Ever wonder what it means to have "Traditional Values" AKA How the Gays made Baby Jesus cry

Well here you go. This is taken from the Traditional Values Coalition website.

I highlighted my favorite parts in blue and added my commentary in red. Keeping it patriotic yo.

"A moral code and behavior based upon the Old and New Testaments. We believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that the Lord has given us a rule book to live by: The Bible. We are committed to living, as far as it is possible, by the moral precepts taught by Jesus Christ and by the whole counsel of God as revealed in the Bible.

As an outgrowth of our commitment to the Bible, we believe the following:

Right To Life: We believe that every human deserves the right to life—from conception to death—and that we do not have the right to kill unborn children nor to murder the elderly through active euthanasia. We do, however, support the death penalty. The Bible is clear that the government has the responsibility to provide for peace and security for its people. We also believe the government has the power to take the lives of those who murder others and to wage war against our enemies.

"Because murdering our enemires and other murders doesn't count."

Fidelity In Marriage And Abstinence Before Marriage: Based upon biblical principles, we believe that marriage is to be a lifelong commitment. We also believe that fidelity in marriage is essential. We also believe that teenagers and young adults should be taught to abstain from sexual contact until after they are married. The epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases running rampant in our culture is evidence of the failure of the sex education movement. Violating God’s principles on chastity has dire consequences. We support the God-ordained institution of the family, which is a union of a man and woman, with or without children—and is based upon marriage, blood, or adoption.

"Wait...there is/was a sex education movement? Missed out on that one. Also, I think that heterosexual married couples who are willingly without children (and plan to be that way forever) should go to hell too. I mean, they are having sex for fun! Those sinners."

Homosexuality, Bi-Sexuality, Transgenderism, And Other Deviant Sexual Behaviors: The Bible clearly condemns all sexual behaviors outside of marriage between one man and one woman. Homosexual behavior is explicitly condemned in both the Old and New Testaments as an abomination and a violation of God’s standards for sexuality. We oppose the normalization of sodomy as well as cross-dressing and other deviant sexual behaviors in our culture.

"Well, this speaks for itself, doesn't it. But, I just want to know what these "other deviant sexual behaviors" are. I bet masturbation is one of them. Its really hard to reproduce that way."

Pornography: The spread of pornography in our culture is a threat to the stability of families and frequently results in family break down, child molestations, and spousal abuse. We oppose this threat because it destroys families and it destroys the person who has become addicted to it. Pornography is a progressive addiction that ruins the conscience of the person. Frequently, this person acts out his sexual fantasies by molesting children, raping girls, and committing other sexual crimes—including murder.

"I wonder if divinity schools have pornography, because that seems to produce a lot of child molesters."

Patriotism, Loyalty To Country, And Political Involvement: We believe that we are to be good citizens. This means we are loyal to our nation (not blind loyalty "they mean literally blind here", however); we are to support our Armed Forces, law enforcement officials, and we should participate in the political process. We live in a free country but we will not remain free if we do not exercise our rights as citizens.

"Just don't ask so many gosh darn questions."

We believe in the principles outlined in our Declaration of Independence, our Constitution, and the writings of our Founding Fathers. We support free enterprise, limited government, low taxes, and personal responsibility. We believe in self government, not self indulgence. We do not believe that the federal government should extend its power over every aspect of our lives. The best government is the one that governs the least.

"Now let us tap your phone. Keep records of your online activity, and library records. Also, you know these are the same people that are complaining about city roads, sanitation, parks being crappy but keep on voting for people for lower taxes only."

Religious Freedom: We are advocates of religious freedom. We believe the First Amendment to our Constitution gives all of us the right to freely exercise our religious faith and that religious faith is the cornerstone of freedom in this nation. Our Founding Fathers supported religion, purchased Bibles, established congressional chaplains, and sent missionaries to witness to the Indians. They enacted the First Amendment to protect religious freedom, not to stifle it. We are opposed to any movement in this country that will strip away our constitutional rights to freedom of religion, speech, and association.

"And by religious freedom, we mean as long as you are under the umbrella of Chrisitianity."

Addictive Behaviors: We are opposed to the spread of legalized gambling in our society because this behavior frequently leads to addictions, the destruction of families, and the abuse of children. We oppose the legalization of addictive drugs and support strong law enforcement efforts against this societal scourge. We believe it is self-destructive and destructive of our culture, for individuals to become addicted to such behaviors as gambling, alcohol, smoking, pornography, or the use of drugs.

"Because if anyone partakes in any of the above, automatically they are addicted"

Discrimination And Tolerance: We are not tolerant of behaviors that destroy individuals, families, and our culture. Individuals may be free to pursue such behaviors as sodomy, but we will not and cannot tolerate these behaviors. They frequently lead to death. We do not believe it is loving to permit someone to kill themselves by engaging in a self-destructive behavior. We believe in “discrimination” in the good sense: choosing between good and evil, right and wrong, the better and the best. We believe in discrimination in the sense of being discerning between good and bad choices. Popular culture maintains that all forms of discrimination are wrong. This is incorrect. A person with “discriminating taste” is one who uses wisdom in making choices. In short, we believe in intolerance to those things that are evil; and we believe that we should discriminate against those behaviors which are dangerous to individuals and to society.

"WTF??? What happened to the bible saying something to the extent of the only one who is allowed to judge is God? Loving thy neighbor?"

Love And Hate: The Bible teaches us that we are to love our enemies and do good to those who persecute us. We believe it is a loving response to oppose behaviors that destroy individuals and families. It is not loving to allow someone to kill themselves or other individuals. It is not “hate” to fight against such cultural forces as pornography, drugs, abortion, and sodomy.

"Hee. It just answered my question with a dumbass response."

The Summing Up: Traditional Values are based upon biblical foundations and upon the principles outlined in the Declaration of Independence, our Constitution, the writings of the Founding Fathers, and upon the writings of great political and religious thinkers throughout the ages.

President George Washington, in his Farewell Address in 1796, said that popular government cannot exist without morality—and morality based upon biblical principles. In effect, he defined traditional values in these words:

Of all the dispositions and habits, which lead to political prosperity, Religion and morality are indispensable supports….And let us with caution indulge the supposition, that morality can be maintained without religion. – Whatever may be conceded to the influence of refined education on minds of peculiar structure—reason and experience both forbid us to expect, that national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle.

In short, Bible-based traditional values are what created and what have preserved our nation. We will lose our freedoms if we reject these values."

Oh no, I don't want to be not free. I better embrace the traditional.

howdootherguyscomparetowill.com

Will Arnett gets a Supporting Actor Emmy Nomination. Yay.

He won't win.

Flogging Molly is for babies

Went to Summerfest last night with my brother-o and his girlfriend. He wanted to go see Flogging Molly (with Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band performing right before them) and asked if I wanted to come along with. I had a free ticket, and didn't have any other plans to go (no bands I desperately wanted to see) so I said I would go.

We got to the stage and sat down right before RPBDB went on, and I knew right away I was going to be annoyed out of my mind. The average age of the kids had to be 16-18. Parents were scattered around as well. The idiots were WEARING Flogging Molly t-shirts. Don't they know you don't wear the band's t-shirt when you go to see them play? Concert faux-pas!

I did have a good time though. I made fun of the guys not wearing shirts, the hippies dancing around likes idiots, the little "punks" pumping their fists to "Rebels of the Sacred Heart." Do these kids even understand where the mentality of Irish punk/rock comes from? Probably not.

RPBDB was awesome. First time I have seem them perform. They have a great sound and good energy. I would go see them again if they come back to Milwaukee.

Fun things for you to do: Courtesy CM

I don't know where she finds this stuff:

McDonalds Video Game. You help manage the pasteurs, the slaughterhouses, the chains, and the coporate offices. My record before going bankrupt is 15 years, and I almost hit 100,000 dollars. Yay for capitalism.

thepregnancytester.com It tells me that I am indeed pregnant! I am having a boy who will weigh 14lbs 16oz, be 21inches long and have blonde hair and hazel eyes. The baby daddy is Fabio. Upon his birth (December 25th at 7:16pm), he shall be named Justin Daniel.

and one my brother introduced to me, and loves:

Kitty Cat Dance. That song will be stuck in your head, regardless if you like it or not.

Words I need to use more often:

-Plethora
-Heretofore
-Copacetic
-Willy-nilly
-Nihilism
-Atactic
-Usward

Sophie, why I don't hate poodles quite that much anymore

I usually hate poodles. With their stupid groomed fur. They look stuck up, and from the few I have known in the past it is true. Usually, short tempered and nippy as well. But CM's dog, Sophie, is different.

Sophie always greets me whenever I come over to visit. She isn't groomed to have that puffball look. She knows cools tricks, like knowing which stuffed animal is which. Oh, and she is black. You all know how much I hate whities.

Backstreet Boys say goodbye to Richardson

My first reactions to seeing this headline on Yahoo! News:

1. The Backstreet Boys are still together?
2. Which one is Richardson?
3. (after seeing the picture of him) NOOOOOOOOOOOOO....Not the one with the eyebrows!
4. Heh, HE's the first one to leave? Come on Nick Carter, I thought you were suppose to be the Justin Timberlake of the Backstreet Boys.
5. Wow, does anyone care?

***Cliched title alert*** Another One Bites the Dust

Yet another one of Hussein's lawyers were murdered. I bet defense attorneys are just lining up for that job. Yeesh.

And in the meantime, the US is still turning a blind eye to the happening in Africa with it's own leaders participating or ignoring the genocides/mass killings. Oh how we pick our battles.

I'm thinking about joining some religious organization, but it seems like The Rapture is here. That or human beings are flipping power-hungry idiots.

Hey.....You!!!

You know what I like a lot? When you run into someone you met while completely inebriated. Upon meeting this person, you are friendly, chatty and declare that this person is awesome and you will be friends forever. Of course, you don't get contact information to actually become friends with said person, but it doesn't matter because that one night of friendship will stay in your memory.

unfortunately, there comes that time when you run into that person and one of three things happen:

1. You remember the person (name, city where born, college attended and other random facts you exchanged with that person). Except that person doesn't acknowledge you. Part of you wonders, does that person remember me? Should I go over there to say hi? But you end up not doing anything because you don't want to come off as a stalker and/or creepy. Perhaps part of it is being embarrassed about the way you acted while drunk.

2. Person approaches you and you remember their face but can't place where exactly you met, or their name, or anything else about them. So, you just say, "Hey...[awkward pause searching brain for name]....you!" I must admit, this happens to me even when I initially meet a person stone cold sober. I am a face-remember-er and not a name remember-er.

3. Person approaches you and you have absolutely no idea who they are. It is similar to number one, except the other person is creepy and/or stalkerish. You apologize for not remembering or you just fake it and pretend like you remember.

I'm sort of a beeeyootch.

My weekend in Sheboygan

First thing I noticed when I walked into my parents' apartment was a big ass plasma TV. I mentioned it to my mom, and she told me that my 20 year-old brother bought it for himself (he is now working a factory job for the summer, making pretty good money). I think this is the dumbest purchase he could have made, but what do I know. I don't have money, and when I have it I hoard it like a mother. I think he should save it for a trip, or at least drinking money for the coming school year.

I met up with a friend from high school for a margarita while I talked about Public Allies. She was in an AmeriCorps program as well, so she knows all about my dramas. While there, we ran into her uncle, who paid for our drinks. Score! I always enjoy free drinks. I couldn't help but notice while we were drinking at the bar, a group of guys sat next to us. I recognized them right away as being guys a year younger than us, that went to our high school. Me, hating everything having to do with my high school, wanted to get out of there immediately. I wasn't scared of them talking to me, because they would have gone on happily ignoring us, it's just I get a fiery ire whenever I see someone (that isn't one of four people I still communicate with) that went to my school.

Saturday, I had breakfast with another friend from high school (one of the four). She used to be one of my "rebellious" friends. Now, she has a nice steady job, a steady boyfriend, a HOUSE (as in she owns it), and is pregnant. Obviously, she did all her growing up in high school. I am really happy for her though. She deserves that happiness.

Went "cake testing" with my sister. Turns out, we just went to the cake-maker and she talked to my sister and her fiance about cakes she makes and prices/designs/flavors/icing etc. And then my sister got to take home two 6-in diameter round cakes (one white and one cheesecake). So then, I went to my sister's place and ate cake. We came to one conclusion, one layer of her wedding cake has got to be cheesecake because DAMN! that shoot was good.

Babysitting Alana, my cousin's seven month old. She is adorable but she is very spoiled. You could put her down on the ground, but you had to be in her sight. If not, this is when she would start crying. Once she saw you, she didn't stop crying, she just lifted up her arms demanding to be picked up. Earlier in the day I bought her a new shirt and skirt, so I tried it on her, because if babies are anything, they are life-sized dolls to play with and dress up. She really doesn't like skirts.

Next, my family went 20 minutes away to have dinner for my parents anniversary and father's day. So, when we get to this steakhouse, in the middle of nowhere, we wait around in the bar area for over an hour and we finally get seated. The place was my sister's idea. I don't know what she thought was so great about it. I could think about 5 other closer places that I could get the broasted chicken dinner I had.

But that doesn't matter, because before I left for Milwaukee, my mom made chili and fry bread. Mmmmm.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!!!

Today at work, my supervisor is gone. All my office co-workers are gone. Only people in, besides me are the maintenance guys and they are on-call all day taking care of maintenance issues (duh). Anyway, because I am so bored, I thought I would talk a little bit about my Yahoo Launch account. Well, not talk about it, but to show what kind of music I have on my "station." I turned it on today, and here is the first ten songs played:

1. Roy Orbison "The Comedians"

He played on the station because I rated "Pretty Woman." There is something about his voice that I like a lot. I am not familiar with this song, but his voice is so familiar that I like whatever he sings.

2. Pixies "Levitate Me"

They play a lot on my station, because I ranked them as one of my favorite groups. Love them, love the songs.

3. Tim Easton "Before the Revolution"

I don't know why he played on my station. Probably similar to another artist I rated before. He and the song were just ok to me. I would probably have to hear more stuff to make any final decisions.

4. Pavement "Stereo"

This is one of those songs that I can never get sick of. I can play and replay it over and over again. Its not like I am a huge Pavement fan, they are good but not my favorite. This song is just catchy.

5. Otis Redding "I've Got Dreams to Remember"

Whenever I hear this song, it reminds me of Dream a Little Dream (you know, that movie with the two Coreys, where one of the Coreys' body gets taken over by an old dude and he likes that girl that looks like a poor man's Justine Bateman whose body also got taken over by an old woman). I like Otis Redding a lot, especially "Try a Little Tenderness."

6. Deep Purple "Smoke on the Water"

I don't have much to say here.

7. The Breeders "Cannonball"

To me, this has to be THE MOST catchiest (yes, I did just use MOST and ----iest in one statement) song ever. I love Kim Deal's voice. I love the bass on this song. The lyrics are just weird, which I like. Once again a song I never grow tired of.

8. The White Stripes "Passive Manipulation"

I don't own the latest CD, so I am not familiar with this song. It was over by the time I even noticed it was playing.

9. Rihanna "Pon De Replay"

Part of my pop guilty pleasures. I like the singles that she has had out so far. Plus her name is similar to my sister's so she gets some bonus points there.

10. Duran Duran "Hungry Like the Wolf"

I blame my mom for my love of 80's music. Another guilty pleasure of mine, but at least I can spin it into almost being ironic or retro or something "cool" in one of those annoying indie/hipster ways.

and the next ten, without statements because I am still bored.

11. Gratitude "Drive Away"
12. The Promise Ring "Skips a Beat"
13. The Violent Femmes "Kiss Off"
14. The Apples in Stereo "The Rainbow"
15. Spin Doctors "Two Princes"
16. Talking Heads "electricity"
17. Led Zeppelin "Immigrant Song"
18. Team Sleep "Ever" -- Apparently this and number 11 played because I ranked Ok Go. These two songs suck and sound nothing like Ok Go. Whatever Launchcast!
19. G. Love and Special Sauce "Cold Beverage"
20. Jewel "Drive to You" -- I guess when a popular (or in this case a formally popular) artist has a new album out, Lauchcast likes to pimp it by randomly just playing it on your station. Icky.

Washing Cars the Carrie Way

I have been driving around in my car for a couple of weeks now, with bird poop all over it. This, of course, is on top of 9 months worth of dirt and salt residue from not washing it since inheriting it from my parents when I moved to Milwaukee. Normally I just let the rain wash my car, but it hasn't been doing the trick lately. When I mentioned to Carrie I needed to get it washed (and that I needed to get a tan) she said I should come over to her place and we would wash our cars and then lay out in the sun. I had nothing else to do on that Sunday so I went.

Let me just say, Carrie is completely thorough when it comes to car washing. First you hose down the car. Then you suds it up, but not completely because you don't want the soap to dry. Then you hose it down again. Next you get one of those fancy drying towels and wipe up the excess water. While doing this, you open your car doors and wipe off the immediate inside so there will be no rust. She also windexed my windows for me (along with a little GooGone for the sticker residue that was left over on my window). She asked if I wanted to vacuum out my car, and I believe I gave her a, "Wha...?" face. Come on now. It doesn't have to be clean all over. I just need a car that runs and I am happy.

I am not an idiot when it comes to car washing, I just like to pay to run my car through an automatic car wash and not do it by hand, because I am lazy.

Working Out, Getting Fit

Since I have gained 10 pounds in the past year and a half, I thought it was about time for me to work out and get in shape. So I asked CM, if she wanted to go running with me in her neighborhood. Then she reminded me that we are not good runners. We would only be embarrassing ourselves. Especially since I would be stopping every block because I would be winded. CM then suggested the YMCA. But I don't have a membership and I was scared of the monthly membership fee. It would destroy my monthly stipend. However, there is a reduction on the monthly membership fee for people, poor, like me. We have gone two whole days already (for an hour each) and we have managed to not feel completely embarrassed at our lack in exercising abilities.

Oh, and I got my first month free. I love free stuff.

The Joy of Cleaning Out Storage Areas

Last weekend, my supervisor asked me to help out with a project of cleaning out the towers' storage areas. I said I would, since I really want to use this new area for meeting space, or some kind of community area for the residents of the development. Still crossing my fingers that this will work out, since this area is in need of some space where the residents can meet and actually FEEL like a community as opposed to strangers living in the same area. Not like I think any of this will help in the short term, you know, the time I actually need to see change for my AmeriCorps "goals" or whatever.

Anyway. Before cleaning day, we sent out notices to the residents that we would be cleaning it out, so they could pick up anything we wanted to discard (there was furniture, books, bikes etc. from past residents up there). I got there right when the manager would be opening it up, and there was already a line of people waiting to get in. Unfortunately, there was not a lot of big items to take. The best thing someone got away with was a 30 inch-ish TV.

Other stuff I found was weird: a dried up condom (still rolled up, so unused...I think...and remember I had on work gloves but it was still insanely gross). I also saw these really cool antique looking, wooden cigar boxes. I would have taken them, if a resident didn't take it, but I came out of the experience empty handed because everything was either gross (my gloved hand was sticking to things!) or taken.

One storage bin was interesting. Its content included: "old lady" clothes, stanky ass perfume spilled inside an old school makeup tote, a plant with soil intact, an adult bath commode, a gold box containing rosary beads and a prayer book and here's the best part (especially considering the last thing I listed), a paperback copy of The Joy of Sex. You know, that book from the 70's with illustrated pictures of couples in sexual positions. When I found it I was giggling (because I am actually 12 years old) and a resident and one of my co-workers was next to me, and asked what I found. I showed them. My co-worker said, "That's a classic." And then the resident took it from me and put it into her box of things she was collecting. I would have love to have met the woman who owned those items.

You know who else is weird...Brad Pitt.

Hot, but weird. I always thought it was weird that his look changed with each new woman he was with, and then I found a site that shows pictures of his transformation. Boy seems to have issues. I will post the pictures on my blog when I get home, but for now I will just post the link:

With Juliette Lewis (young, "hip", and grungy)



With Gwenyth Paltrow (mod, preppie)



With Jennifer Aniston (just plain Hollywood and metrosexual)



With Angelina Jolie (goth and badass humanitarian).



But I most admit, I do like the name Shiloh for a girl. Unique without being Hollywood weird (Audio Science anyone?). But who am I to talk, I have the name of a country (not even the official name), and I saw a website that said it is a bad name. (scroll down to the third boxed off section: about a family with kids named Scotland, Britannica and Holland. I think Holland is the lesser of the three evils).

Creepy!

So a few hours ago, there was a thunder storm. It was really dark and grey and there were a few lightening strikes. I take a look out my office window and I see some random kid standing in front of the apartment complex doors. Just standing there in his/her raincoat looking off into the distance. Why was that kid just standing there? Where are the parents? Why is that kid, like, 2 feet tall? I half expected the kid to turn to me with neon green glowing eyes.

Speaking of how kids are weird and creepy...At my work, I signed us up for this program called Color a Smile. Basically we receive pictures that some random children draw, and we hang them up around places to "brighten" peoples days. Some are cute, some are scary. For example: One kid drew the sun and a flower. The flower and sun have faces on them. The sun, looks like your normal yellow ball with a smile on it (ala "Have a Nice Day!") but the flower has this really evil sinister smile on it. Not to mention it is about 1000% taller than the other flowers on the picture. It creeps me out. 9 year-old Hailey, you creep me out with your flower drawings!

What I find funny about these entries is how kids will write out their age. They are so willing and ready to tell you exactly how old they are. They would tell you the number of years, months, weeks, days, hours and minutes old they are if they could. You can also tell the kids that just learned to write down how old they are, because they will write it down multiple times (Age: 5 5 5 ). Kids are most definitely weird.

Weekend wrap-up...Good Times!

Friday:

Left Friday training and headed straight for my apartment. Whoops, forgot that the front door lock had been changed. I got the new keys the day before, and there were signs everywhere reminding tenants that the locks would be changed on Friday. I am just a dumbass and forgot to bring the new keys with me when I left in the morning.

I tried calling the onsite manager but he wasn't in. I tried calling a few other people that lived in the complex, but no one was answering. So, I just left to go visit CM for awhile. Her dad cooked us some dinner, and then we decided to go see X-Men 3. I left the movie not knowing if I was disappointed or overwhelmed with the awesomeness. Apparently I missed a scene that was at the end of the credits, which would add even more to my indifference. The movie also made me realize I need to brush up on my x-men knowledge. Apparently watching the cartoon as a kid, and having a brother that is knowledgeable about the X-men world does not help me in being confused by the movie.

Anyway, after the movie, I attempted to get back into my apartment. Called the manager, still a no-go. Called a few apartments: no one home. Finally got a hold of someone, explained my situation to her. She helps me out by hanging up on me. She best watch out, I know where she lives. Tried another apartment and got through. The guy lets me in. Yay. In reality I can't fault the girl for hanging up on me. I am taught over and over again, in my crime prevention workshops that I am not suppose to let others in, when they don't have keys. Whatever.

Ok...I need to take a break here to discuss a commercial I just saw. Sears Department Stores is now going into dentistry? Really? Wow. "Trust your smile to Sears." Um, no thanks.

Another breaky comment. I saw on this one site, they had a discussion about how cats like to be in boxes. Cats like boxes? No way.Cats also like sinks.

Saturday:

Started the day off, by finally dealing with this bridesmaid dress screw up. Apparently all I need to do is to hand in the dress which is one size too small, and order a new one for myself. No extra charges. Hah, suck it David's Bridal, I knew I could work your "No refunds, returns" etc policy. I don't know if I posted it before, but here is the dress I will be wearing. Same color and all. (edited: After checking the link, the color of my dress is the truffle color, not that ugly ass yellow color).

While getting ready for the wedding, I realized that my hair just does not curl. No matter what I do. Curling iron plus hairspray does nothing. Oh well. I still looked ok.

The ceremony was a Catholic one, but not as long and drawn out. I was giggling to myself while the priest talked about the sanctity of marriage (basically, without outright, saying between a man and woman with no premarital sex). I know that all the people in the bridal party (including the bride and the groom themselves) that do not believe in the sanct-ness of marriage, based off of what the priest said. Sinners!!!

The reception was nice. The people I went with spent the majority of the time outside, where we (or should I say they) could smoke, and it was also beautiful outside so we were enjoying the weather. Highlights of the night: Being groped by the groom's brother and his boyfriend, being dropped off at the reception by my co-workers friend while feeling like we were being dropped off at the prom by mom, squeezing seven people into a car for the longest ride home ever!

Sunday:

Hottest day ever. I actually turned on my air conditioner, which I initially swore I would not do. I went out with CM and JR later in the day. We had an awesome bike ride by the lake. For $12 a half hour, you can rent out one of these awesome bikes. We had a bell and everything (useful when you want to tell the people in front of you to get the hell out of the way). Riding that surrey bike, made me realize that I am totally out of shape. I was sweating up a storm and breathing heavily. Hopefully, when I apply for membership at the Y, I will no longer be huffing and puffing my way through a bike ride.

As for today, I am enjoying my day off.

Tires? Not a good conversation starter or a way to pick up the ladies...

For once my antisocial friend, CM, wanted to go out. And for what is worth, to go out and have a few drinks!!! This is a big step for her. She may just become social after all.

We went out to the bar around the corner of my apartment. It is a real hole-in-the-wall, so not much of a "hot" spot but I like the bartenders and the regulars. Since it is the end of the school year, the obnoxious Marquette kids are not coming out in droves.

So there we are drinking our High Lifes, talking to each other about something not important and obviously forgettable since I can't remember what it was. All of a sudden this guy who is sitting next to CM says something witty about the tire commercial on the TV. CM does the number one No-No: She responds.

This leads to her engaging in a pretty lengthy conversation about tires. The different brands and their quality, how to rotate (and why we do), and I am pretty sure I over heard the guy talking about some studies he read about tires. How exciting! What was funny about the entire conversation was that this guy kept on stroking CM's arm. Knowing CM and how much she LOVES to be touched, I found this hilarious. I even excused myself to the bathroom, to give them some privacy. CM always has a good time with me (reference the time she had a lengthy conversation with the guitar teacher about animals at the party I forced her to come to).

They guy wasn't exactly her type, at least I don't think so. Oh well, at least she learned something about tires. Goodyear=good, Michelin=bad.

Those Darn Geese

Where I work, we have this big ass pond, which is the home for many dumb Geese. I rarely see/interact with them because I am cooped up in my office all day. Today was different.

So, I will admit it, sometimes I am not a completely observant driver. However, I have yet to get myself into an accident (knock on imaginary wood). This morning I was making a mental list of things to do at work today, while not entirely paying attention to the road in front of me. Usually I keep my eyes on the car in front of me, but not the actual street, but whatever.

Then, about a half a block up I saw a goose and some of her babies starting to meander into the busy street. I started to slowly push on my brakes thinking that the geese would back up right away, but they aren't too bright, and continued on their merry way. When I realized that they weren't stopping or backing up, and that the road was much more slick from the morning rain than I first anticipated, I slammed on my brakes all the way.

Luckily for me, there was no cars behind me, and I didn't run over any geese! The mother goose, finally turned around when I was about a foot in front of it and at a complete stop. She kind of looked at my car in a lazy, "Hey, what's up?" fashion and retracted back to the sidewalk. Luckily for that goose, it didn't continue in the direction it was going, in front of traffic coming from my left shoulder, because there would be some dead baby geese lying in the road right this moment.

Last night on the news...

There was this report about the upsurge of muggers on the UW-Madison campus, primarily attacking, of course, college students. This makes me laugh, mostly because I think about myself as a college student. When I was walking around the campus, I usually had no more than a pocket full of change and my debit card, which had no more than 20 dollars on it. Not too much of a find. And I know that I was not alone. College students in general are broke-ass hoes. But then again, there are those "Coasties" as we affectionately called them. Those kids who can pay out-of-state tuition, private resident hall prices, and for drinking at least 5 out of the 7 nights of the week. These are the kids probably getting mugged (successfully).

Those immigrants should just be English-speakers

Just got done watching a segment on Nightline talking about how the Senate wants to pass a bill that the Star Spangle Banner should/will be song in English...ummm ok. How exactly is this going to be enforced? Fines? Imprisonment? Execution?

Remember that time they had Native Americans sing the National Anthem in their native language for the Olympics (don't ask me when or where this was done,it could have not even been done for the Olympics but the Superbowl instead, but I remember it was done)? So its diverse and moving then but now it is an abomination? Oh yea, now I remember why its bad. Because we have to be reminded that all Mexican Immigrants are dirty, evil and anti-American in every aspect. You know, because being American does not mean being diverse and coming from many different backgrounds. Being American means you are English-speaking, white, straight, Christian and...am I missing anything?

I'm glad the Senate is working on this and not working on gas prices, environment, health care etc. etc. I hope the next bill they pass is one that makes it illegal for anyone to walk the streets not wearing the colors red, white and/or blue.

David Blaine sucks

I mean he can't even hold his breath for 9 minutes? Come on! The promos were saying that he was going to drown if he couldn't hold his breath for that long. They are liars. What a let down.

While watching his special tonight, I was very happy to see his gray and wrinkled hands and feet. They looked like they were about to fall off. Mmmmm decomposed-looking appendages. As if I needed another reason to be nauseous.

Why was I initially nauseous? Some kind of stomach virus I think. I stayed by the toilet a good amount time from Saturday around 11pm to Monday 10am-ish.

High Roller

I went out shopping and then out to eat with my friend Carrie on Saturday. As we were leaving the Fridays at Miller Park Stadium, we were trying to decide what to do next. Initially we were thinking about going to a neighborhood bar close to my apartment to play pool/darts and have a beer but then Carrie says, "Want to go to Potawatomi?" This is a casino/bingo hall in Milwaukee. I have never been in a casino before but was hesitant about the possibility of losing money. Carrie reassured me that we would set out monetary limits and not let each other go over them, plus we would only play nickel slots, because we are cheap.

So we each spent 20 dollars. They people there were funny. Such a diverse group of gamblers. But I would say that 80% of them were smoking. Luckily they have a non-smoking lounge for people as well. That is were I made my "big money." I ended up making 20 dollars (16.75 if you include the 3.25 ATM fee, bastards). I had no idea what I was doing, but it was still fun. I guess the fun was the making of the money, if I would have lost, I would have been very disappointed.

Funniest moment of the night: We were riding the escalator down from the non-smoking lounge to the smoking lounge, and I took notice of all the "Native regalia" and pictures on the walls. Loving to say inappropriate things, I say, "Carrie, Look at all the Native people!" The people standing in front of us look at us with slightly disgusted faces. Carrie is so embarrassed by me.

"I feel like I'm on Mr. Rogers"

For part of our Friday training, we got to tour the local recycling center. I was really interesting, especially to a super-nerd such as myself. They had machines which could separate the glass, aluminum, plastic etc. Then it can even separate the glass by color. Machines alone can't do it all, of course, so they do have some man power to sort through the recyclable before it goes through its final stages. They work at lightening speed in a loud, hot environment. Here is the thing that got to me: The guy that was giving the tour walked out of the area with the workers stating, loudly, "That's why we at least get a high school diploma." Ass.

Much needed break from mind numbing data entry...

Mondays are usually my data entry day. I never thought I would be doing data entry stuff for my future career, but I guess in almost all professions one must deal with it eventually.

I thought I would quickly talk about what a jam-paced Saturday I had. It consisted of cleaning a river, grilling out, shopping, bridal showering, eating, drinking and making fun of drunk people, and the cab ride of death.

Cleansing the riverside: Service day for Public Allies. We cleaned up a river. Some people actually got into the river to fish out bikes, a recliner (Yeah! I know!) and other miscellaneous junk. I, along with the majority of other Allies) stayed out of the river and cleaned the area surrounding it. Things I found: a dollar bill, sanitary napkin (unused thank G-d!), empty gun cartridge box, MANY empty blunt wrappers, empty condom wrappers and children's toys (another person found what appeared to be a possum skull). Its a little disconcerting, but not surprising, to know kids play in this filth. It was a mix of emotions cleaning the river: sad knowing that the area residents treat their area with disrespect and joy to know that there are some who are willing to make it a better place by cleaning it up. We only had a 3-hour "obligation," so we didn't finish. However, just by looking at the side we picked up to the side we didn't get to: there was a huge difference. I also was entertained by a co-worker who stopped in the middle of her cleaning to serenade the volunteers with a rendition of "A Whole New World" while dancing dramatically. I think we were all in need of a nap, food and water (preferably not from the river).

Grilling: A few Public Allies then went to grill out (fry out, BBQ whatever you want to call it). I was sent to go get the order of hot dogs (uncased wieners, tender franks whatever you want to call it). It was a relaxing time. I watched people play Frisbee (granted they were only a little more than 10 feet away from each other, so it wasn't that entertaining but still), ate my turkey dogs and talked about watching Legends of the Hidden Temple on Nick Games and Sports while making fun of the stupid answers the kids gave to simple questions but only making fun because I was jealous that they got to be on the show and I did not. I was bitter then, I am bitter now.

Shopping: Before I went to the Bridal shower I needed to buy a gift. So my friend and I went to a store call the Tool Shed, and got gifts that only we would get because we are completely inappropriate. Let's just say the store is adult themed. The store had this liberal-feminist feel to it, and not that seedy, trashy feel you come to expect from those types of stores. Screw kitchen stuff and bridal registries.

Showering of the Bride: Besides the bride and the friend I bought the gift for, I knew absolutely no one at the shower. I barely know the bride, who is marrying someone I am friends and work with. The bride ended up sitting near us while she was opening her gifts, so my friend and I ended up being in most of the pictures. I would say that 80% of the pictures that were taken consisted of me and her making weird faces and gestures. They'll look back at the pictures and think, "Who the hell?" The bride opened up her gift from us, looked at it and put it aside without sharing it with everyone else. She just looked at us, laughed and said thank you. (The groom then called later that night, also praising us on a well-thought out gift). I felt oh-so-fancy too, as my friend and I shared a bottle of Merlot. Why is it I feel fancy drinking anything but beer? Probably because I am a cheap bastard.

Eating: I met up with two other friends and went out to eat at Emperor of China. Its like you standard take-out Chinese, except you sit down and get served and its semi-fancy. The four of us shared a drink that had flames in the middle. We gossiped. We dared each other to taste the liquid that lit the flame (pretty sure it was Bacardi 151). We confessed embarrassing movies we saw in the theatre...and no I will not admit mine! It was all very girly.

Drinking/making fun of drunk people: Straight from the restaurant we headed to a nearby bar. It must of been 35+ night, because it felt like there was no one in a ten year age range from us there. Here is the worst part, we were the most "mature" acting people there. Nothing like watching people nearing 40 (if not already over) being sloppy drunks while bumping and grinding. I think there was also a rule that guys over 5'8" were not allowed into the bar. All the guys also had that great "short guy complex". Needless to say, we wanted out. What better place to go then the meat market that is Water Street.

Not 5 minutes into being at the next bar, my friend and I heard calls coming toward us going, "You know her! Go talk to her!" Indeed I knew two them. They were roommates of a friend, who I met all of two(ish) times. I am surprised they even remember who I was, and I remembered who they were. We talked to them awhile before we started to bore them, as we usually do. There was a nearby girl so trashed that she was showing off her bra, pelvic bone tattoo, taking turns sitting on several different guys laps. Meanwhile this girl's friend was trying desperately to ignore her and pawn her off on one of the guys. They both disgusted me. There was a bachelor party that was taking part in a scavenger hunt. They came up to us to see if we could help them with there last remaining tasks: Show us a naughty part (No!), Dirty dance with the groom (No.), Give us your thong (No.), Buy me a beer (Ok).

Highway to Hell: Picked up a cab outside the bar. The driver was probably the worst driver in the world. He ran red lights, he U-turned right into traffic, cut people off. I was holding my breath the entire way home. Perhaps I should stick with being Designated Driver.

When I got these quiz results, I laughed and laughed

You Are Jelly Beans

For you, Easter is all about fun and sweet treats. None of that Jesus dying on a cross stuff!

What Easter Candy Are You?

Look at the cuteness

Just sharing the cuteness that is my cousin's baby Alana.

Ouch!

Whenever I am wearing sandals or a pair of dress shoes which slip on, people notice and point out my foot tattoo. For those of you who do not know me, or haven't seen it, it simply is the letters SED. People ask what it means. My reply is, "An ex-boyfriend's initials." They then reply, "Please tell me you are joking." I tell them I am, and that it is, in fact, my late grandmother's initials. They go, "Awww."

I just realize, what if the tattoo was of an ex-boyfriend? I would kind of be offended. Luckily for me, I am not stupid enough to put someone's, who I am dating, name on my body. But still, if I were that stupid, I would be offended.

And why do people need to point at it? Like I have never seen it before? People are smart.

MGD is for old people

Lately, I have been seeing a lot of Miller Genunine Draft commercials, with their slogan "Beer. Grown up." One I saw recently showed adults deflating inflatable furniture, throwing away beer hat thingies, and throwing plastic house party cups out the window and then grabbing an ice cold MGD. I know what they are getting at: when you are young you will drink anything, which is true. But I still thought it was funny for two reasons.

1. Among my friends, we always talk about how MGD is what our parents drink. It is honestly my parents beer.
2. If Miller is trying to go with older=more refined taste=higher quality=not cheap then I call bull. Having only recently gotten into drinking darker beers (Guinness), Miller and any of its sub-categories tastes like water to me (but I will still drink it any day over Budweiser). I think I am subtly saying my parents have weak taste in beer, heh. Miller is relatively cheap too (but it is no Blatz, Schlitz, Milwaukee's Best when it comes to price though).

In the end, I will wrap by saying I have no authority over the quality of beers, since I haven't had a wide variety of brands and am not much of a drinker (honest!). Ok, back to work.

G-d likes knock, knock jokes....

Go talk to G-d. I'm pretty sure it isn't the actual G-d. I'm just saying. Holla to CM, for finding that one.

What I find amusing is that I don't consider myself religious at all. I only attended "Sunday school" for about a month when I was 3, and it was more of a day care then anything else. So, all my life, I haven't gone to church. Yet, I know much more about biblical stories then some other people I know, *cough*CM*cough*. I have to explain to some people why people celebrate Good Friday and Easter. I also explain the story of Moses. Apparently my parents didn't raise a complete heathen. Perhaps I am one of the People Going to Heaven?

Picking me up and dipping

So, I don't really like to be physically picked up. Basically anything that involves me having no control over whether or not I fall, I don't like. Maybe its because the only people that try to pick me up are drunk, so I have bad experiences. You can never trust a drunk person. Example of me not liking drunk people touching me: This Saturday, I went out with a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. We went to a more "popular" bar than I am used to. By more popular, I mean this is the type of bar you go to, in order to get some ass. I mostly went because I knew this is where my friend wanted to go, and I knew I would have fun with her either way. Was, and usually am, not into looking for ass at a bar. Maybe my friend is right...I am asexual. Anyway:

I thought that if I kept to myself that I would be left alone, but no. On my way back from the bathroom, I got stopped by two fratty guys and was asked about my philosophy on facial hair. I gave my answer. One of the guys asked me if he could have a hug, and before I could answer he wrapped his arms around me and dipped me. Luckily it didn't last long. My body stiffened up, and I grabbed on to his arms in fear of being dropped. When he brought me back up, I "laughed" and excused myself back to my friend. If I weren't so antisocial, I might have thought that was fun. Oh wait...no I still wouldn't have thought it was fun. Boys, just a suggestion for the future, wait for the answer before you go for the kill. If a person is not ready, the results could be disastrous.

V for Vendetta

It has been over a year since I first read the graphic novel by Alan Moore. The depth that I read, by myself, into a book is the equivalent of a kiddie pool. Luckily for me I was reading it for a comparative literature class that was strictly graphic novels. I wasn't a fan of this genre, but I did after the class. Anyway, as I stated, V for Vendetta was one of the books I read for this class. Through lectures and discussions, I better understood the symbolism and the storyline (although there is a blatant message there).

I heard a few months later that a movie was being made of it, I was excited to see how the story would be brought to life. Then, I heard that Moore, the creator, wanted nothing to do with it. He is this way with all of his works. From what he had seen and heard, the screenplay deviated to far from the novel. This scared me, because I didn't want to ruin one of my favorite graphic novels by seeing the movie based on it. But I went with my gut instinct and I went to go see it.

Well, it is definitely not like the novel, but I would say I still like it. In movie making, I think it is ok for the directors and screenwriters to make some artistic liberties, although I think it is helpful to get some support from the original creator. Well, I am not a HUGE Alan Moore fan, so I could care less. Now, if they would do this to Neil Gaiman, that is another story. Back to the movie: It was more action oriented (fighting with swords and blood) then I what I pictured while reading the book, storylines are missing and new ones were added. Some characters (mostly wives or other female characters) were missing or their storylines were changed. Nothing that I thought was too important. The most important part stayed intact, in my opinion. This part was the political influence. So much has changed from when that book was written (1988) to when the movie was released (hell, stuff has even changed from when I read the book a year and a half ago), but the book stays politically relevant. The book and movie makes me want to start a revolution (don't worry DHS, a peaceful one).

Nostalgic

Remember Ghostwriter? Remember how awesome it was? So wholesome yet so hip. One storyline took a month to finish to keep it fresh, you now, like WB Fresh.

I also miss the baby doll dress look. Sooooo Good.

Sometimes you want to go, where everybody knows your name...

When I left Milwaukee to go to the pow wow in Madison, I only took my wallet, cell phone, and coat. I had no intentions of staying past 8pm. I was mostly going to see my brother drum and sing for the first time. I wasn't really anticipating many old friends to be there. As soon as I got there I was greeted with a hug from my friend Crystal. From that point on, I spent 75% of my time hugging and catching up with old friends/fellow organizational members and other people I have worked with on various projects while I was at school. I think the people at Public Allies would be very proud of me, because I had my "elevator speech," down.

Me responding to everyone asking me what I am now doing:

"Well, I am working in an Americorp program called Public Allies, which places young adults in non-profit organizations to work Monday through Thursday, and on Fridays we come together to get professional development training and work on community service projects. The non-profit organization I am working at is called..."

I basically recited it word for word to each person. While I was catching up with everybody, they were asking me if I would come to the "49" afterward. I said I would but that I couldn't stay long because I had to drive myself home that night. When I said this, I had many people offering me their couches to sleep on, which I eventually agreed to do. It is much better to sleep for a few hours as opposed to driving at 3am (not including time change for Daylights Savings Time). I just have to remember to pack an overnight bag next time just in case.

Oh, I made sure that I didn't bring more than 10 dollars cash with me. I didn't want to be tempted to buy some barrettes or jewelry. I did buy myself some white sage to burn in my apartment. It kind of smells like pot. Sage is burned to release negative energy and it is suppose to help with stress which I need help with.

So ends the most boring blog ever.

"Can you get pink eye in the mouth?"

Stupid question, I know, but sometimes I like to say things because I think they are funny and I like to amuse myself. My sister came to visit me on Friday night, but she failed to tell me that she had an eye irritation AND she thought it might be pink eye. I didn't think people got pink eye after a certain age. It just reminds me of one of those childhood things that kids like to pass on to each other, (such as chicken pox, the flu, lice or herpes--ok just kidding about that last one) in the Petri dish that is known as public school systems. Well, my sister does work in a day care facility, so it is more than likely that one of the little devils gave her the conjunctivitis.

After she left my apartment, I have been bleaching down everything she has touched. I am not even touching my own eyes in fear of getting it. I took out my contact lenses two nights ago and have been wearing my glasses ever since, just so I don't have to touch my eyes for a couple of days. I am really paranoid about it, because I am usually really susceptible to catching things this contagious. I am a wee bit of a hypochondriac, which I think I inherited from my grandmother after she passed away. Along with the pink eye, which I am convinced I will inevitably get, I am convinced I have endometriosis. Who needs to have babies anyway?

The Best (and only) April Fools Joke

Yesterday I went to Madison, for the Wunk Sheek Pow-wow. Afterwards I went to the parking ramp with a few old friends, as I was going to drop them off to the "49" afterwards ("49" is the party after the pow-wow). I drove the car to the exit and handed the ticket to the cashier. The screen popped up and it said $2. I handed over the money and the lady looked at me all crabby-like and said, "It's $2 per person." I just looked at her dumbfounded. I didn't have the money for all the people in my car. I said, "Seriously?!?" And she kept up the pissed look, and 5 seconds later, she got a huge smile on her face and said, "APRIL FOOLS." I am gullible.

One more, just because I can

Wow. I can't believe that I completely missed that button that allows you to add images into your blogs. I am really special sometimes. Has it always been there? Ok, moving on. I am not going to mull over my stupidity.

This picture is of me, the older sister and the oldest of my younger brother. I always say with this picture, it is the only time that you will be seeing me with a wedding dress on. I just don't see myself being married, and if I do, I don't see myself having a big ceremony. That open mouth "HEYYYYYY" smile, is how I was in almost every picture as a kid.

My brother looks so adorable with that big helmet on. What is even funnier is that today, he is so not an athletic person. He prefers his books, TV and online comics. He is awesome. I remember him playing t-ball as a kid, and picking at the grass instead of actually playing the outfield. That's right, he was THAT kid. Glove on head, staring into space. It's weird, because I think he was the body of a football player. Tall and wide. He doesn't exercise at all, and doesn't eat the healthiest, but yet he is no where near chubby. He is, however, getting a little bit of what I like to call, a "Daddy Belly." Others like to call it a "Beer Gut." Weird, because he doesn't drink. Hmmm. Michael, if you read this, perhaps you can expand on your belly discussions.

My sister looks creepy to me. Mostly because she looks like a little adult. Honestly, she looks exactly the same now. Well, except she doesn't go around wearing big puffy white dresses and a tinfoil princess hat.

I finally figured out how to post pictures because I am smart

This is my favorite picture I have on my computer. This is my parents, my older sister and me. I love my sister's pose. My mom taught her to do that for pictures. Why did my mom do that? I don't know. Probably because it was "cute" but more importantly because she knew that it would be embarrassing in the future.

I like my dad's hat. By like, I mean that it is awesomely bad, and I am glad he doesn't have it in his possession today. There is no doubt in my mind that he would bust that sucker out and wear it around. No, he wouldn't do it to embarrass his kids, he would do it because he would honestly think it was cool.

I absolutely love the face I am making. It looks like, even at one year-old, I can be embarrassed of my dad.

My mom kind of looks high and/or drunk. She's not, because she is around 5 months pregnant with my brother. I can't get over how young she looks. She is around my age there. Me having two kids that age? I couldn't handle that.

Reminding my liver why it should hate me

Last Friday I went to a neighborhood bar with a co-worker who also lives close to me. Now, normally I am a beer drinker, but since she was buying the first drink, I said I would have whatever she was having. Bad idea. She was having a vodka tonic. My first thought was, well at least it isn't a gin and tonic. I hate gin.

The bartender is good at making sure your glass isn't empty, but he doesn't bother to ask if you want a different drink, let alone another drink at all. At the same time I was drinking my vodka tonics (not sure of the number because I lost count, kids just a suggestion, if you have lost count of how many drinks you had, maybe it is time to stop), I was playing a game that involved taking shots of Southern Comfort. Again the number of shots, not sure. I can't really go by how much I spent, because I was getting drink paid for, buying other people drinks.

The whole time I have been in Milwaukee, I have never gotten really drunk. I always had to drive myself, or was just too tired to drink. But this night was not one of those nights. I was having a good time just sitting and talking. Too busy to notice my drinking. When it was time for me to use the bathroom, I noticed. I stood up for the first time since I stepped foot in the bar (twoish hours later) and it hit me. I felt like I was in high school again, the first time I ever got drunk minus the crawling across tables to go make out with Ryan/Kyle - whatever his name was. Lucky for me, after that bathroom excursion, I was done drinking and we left an hour later. Don't worry, I live right across the street, no driving involved.

Within that hour, I didn't sober up, not even a little. I wasn't acting stupid, but I was saying pretty dumb things. I drunk dialed my friend in Hawaii, asked her the same 3 questions about four times in a row.

The next morning, I wasn't hungover. A little dehydrated, but that was all. I am actually surprised by this. The amount I drank probably wasn't that much, in comparison to what I drank in college, but it still had to be a shock to my system. I definitely appreciate the nights that I drink one or two beers compared to what I did that night. My college drinking days are happily over.

Ok, here is another one

I come from a family of 6. We, for the most part, always lived in an apartment flat. 3 bedrooms, so 2 people per bedroom. I was always surrounded by people. I liked it that way. Even if I was in a room alone (which I rarely was) I could hear someone in my family in the next room. I never felt lonely. Sure, sometimes I was annoyed to high hell, but upon some reflection the "confined" spaces that we lived in, made us closer as a family. (Note: I think it should be mandatory for everyone to live his way. It seems ridiculous that a family of three have a huge house. It just seems like a waste of space. My sister, the conservationist, is rubbing off on me.)

Now that I live by myself, I have the TV on a lot. Even if I am not watching it, and instead am on the computer, or cleaning, I still usually have it on. It gives me the illusion that someone is there, like a roommate. I like the noise, I don't like silence.

Anyway, because I have the TV without really watching, I catch things without realizing what is going on. Like just a while ago, I turned to the TV and was taken back by this bloated looking person. It was Boston Legal's James Spader. Remember when your face had a chiseled like definition, and you had awesome feathered hair? Ahh, how age changes us. Sometimes it is good to us (George Clooney yum, Denzel Washington drool, Matthew Fox yay) sometimes it is not (James Spader, Bruce Jenner handsome before multiple surgeries, Marlon Brando). I am one to talk. I will probably land in the latter list. Heck, I am already in the latter list.

I would make a good, heartless, wife

So my brother stayed over at my place for two nights. He is three years younger than me. I didn't really know what to do to amuse him. If he were 21, I would have taken him to a bar to hang out with my co-workers, but alas, he is 20 and doesn't have a fake. None of my siblings nor I, had a fake ID. We were just that angelic. (I later took him to a bar that I knew he could be let in).

Anyway, the reason why I think I would be a good wife: My brother sat on the coach watching TV while playing with a rubix cube. Every once in awhile I would ask if he was hungry or thirsty. If he answered yes to either, I asked what exactly he wanted, listing off what I had in my cupboards and/or refrigerator. He would answer, and I would get it for him. Just like a nice obedient wife. Ehmm, yeah.

But really, I am glad I don't live with him. He is such a boy. Leaves the toilet seat up. Leaves empty pitchers in the refrigerator. Doesn't clean up after himself. He is smelly. I love the boy and enjoyed the company, but seriously, I am glad I live by myself.

Why I am heartless: I was watching this show called, "Miracles" on ABC. One man was getting his hips operated on so he could walk and dance without pain. Before he was about to go into the operation room, he let out this cry of gratitude to the doctors. I instinctively say out loud, to no one, "Shut up!" Perhaps it was because the cry was very staged and fake to me. Maybe I automatically see it as fake, because the guy was a stage actor, and I always see stage actors as fakely overly emotional, as if they are always "on". I don't like actors.

But I am not all that heartless. I watched the show for the first time the week before,and they had the cutest little boy, who had some kind of scoliosis. One of the first scenes they showed was him with his family at the zoo. They were looking at giraffes. The little boy noticed that one giraffe had an abnormality on his neck. He said to his dad, "Look he has a bump like me." It made me go, "Awwwww." That storyline is what made me want to watch again, hoping for some more cuteness. All I got was overacting. Bah humbug. Only children can melt my cold, cold heart.

My neighbors downstairs are currently blasting U2's Vertigo. So not cool.

"The Incredible, Edible Holland"...ewwww

Title comes from a website, a fellow Ally shared that generates slogans when you type in random words, or in my case words. I think it sounds provocative, but I have a dirty mind.

I don't really have anything to say, but I noticed it has been awhile, so I need to entertain all my reader.<=== singularization intentional. Currently I am watching American Idol, and a contestant said she had (this is the way she pronounced it) sal mon for lunch. This apparently, is something "exotic" that she never had before. I can understand how she never had salmon before, but "exotic". Well maybe they didn't say exotic, but still. Some think her naivety is "cute" I find it rather annoying. She is definitely a pretty girl and seems sweet, I just think she should shut her mouth. I say that in the nicest way. Really I do. Also, I know that American Idol is silly, but I can't help myself. I need to indulge myself in American pop culture everyonce in awhile.

I found this cool online comic called Fart Part. It is about a girl, who drinks, has a boyfriend, loves "delicious cookies" and swears. Basically she is awesome. At least, she seems awesome based off her website. Another female artist she mentions in her site is, Liz Prince. She wrote a book called "Would You Still Love Me If I Wet The Bed?" She also seems awesome. I wish I knew another word besides awesome. It seems similar to a comic that was in Madison's student newspaper (Daily Cardinal) called Everybody Drunk But Me. Well, the later comic is less raunchy but similar. Although all of them are similar in that they chronicle their own life, it is different because they all have different stories to tell. That last statement is obvious, but I don't know how else to make my point, so shut up. All three girls seem like people my brother Michael would be mad crushing on.

Well, I've run out of things to talk about.

Upon some random Googling, I found this...

BadBlogs

I found it because I was trying to find my sister's old blog by typing in her username. Well, in the search results I found that her blog was in the BadBlog archives. Awesome! It is kind of cool to see that someone is looking at your blog. Granted, they are posting it to make fun of you, but still. One thing I wish that the site would do, is to make a List of Rules, stating how blogs get into BadBlogs. I was reading some of them, not understanding what was wrong with them. Then again, look at what I write...Boring. Cuteoverload, makes a list of rules of what makes certain images cute. BadBlogs should follow suit. If they make a list of rules, they can post a blog, and then ask the readers, list the rules that make this blog bad. Then, it would give the readers something fun to do.

Now, I eagerly anticipate the day that my blog will be posted.

I am nerdly even in my adult years

I didn't get invited to lunch with the co-workers. It's like high school except this time, instead of driving myself around during my lunch hour, I eat in my office with the door closed. Oh, the pain of young adulthood.
Then:
who didn't invite me: people I tried to make my friends
what i did: lunch sitting in lap as I drove down the lakeside drive
who occasionally would talk and/or hang out with me: my stoner friends
attire: jeans and a t-shirt
hair: straight, barely shoulder length, parted down middle when not always in a ponytail
car: Grey Ford Taurus Wagon late 80's, I believe
relationship status: single, not so ok with it.

Now:
who didn't invite me: co-workers
what I did: lunch on desk while looking at stuff on myspace
who occasionally would talk and/or hang out with me: maintenance guys
attire: long sleeved shirt and khakis
hair: long, straight, parted to side, not in a ponytail that often
car: '95 Red Mercury Sable...that works now! Yippee, I say with empty pockets.
relationship status: Single, and ok with it.

x5GDm14

This week has been weird

Tuesday I got my car to a mechanic because apparently a head gasket needed to be replaced. Boooo. They told me that it would be ready by Wednesday afternoon. They lied. The car is still in the shop for additional crap that is, as of right now, undiagnosed. Screw mechanics. I've never met an honest one.

Sometime last week I lost my mitten. I thought maybe I lost it at a coffee shop I was at. I didn't. As I was crossing the street to get to my apartment today, I looked down at the street at a flattened mitten. It was mine! I picked it up. Perhaps it is salvageable.

I have been taking the bus to get to and from work. It is a lot easier than I thought it would be. Granted, it takes an hour to travel to or from, but still easy. I am used to small town buses, which there is one bus transfer point. Not this transfer where you may stuff. Even writing it now I hate how much I sound like a hick. Anyway, Wednesday after work I was standing there waiting with everyone else for the bus. This one man was standing there with his daughter who looks about 2 years-old. She was spinning around and running in circles around he dad. She stopped in front of me, and said something I couldn't quite understand, ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my legs. I just smiled and bent over and patted her on her back. Her dad apologized and called her back to him.

The only thing I hate about busing it, is running across busy streets and climbing over snow banks because there are no sidewalks by the building I work at.

The sound on my computer was off for five days, and then I downloaded a new version of win-amp. As I pressed play, the music blared out of the speakers. Weird how this stuff works out. I didn't even try to fix it, and it fixed itself, I guess.

Even though I signed a sheet declaring my self a new costumer of the electrical company months ago, I JUST got a notice stating that I am a new costumer and being billed effective mid February. Whatever, as long as I had those few months free.

I handed out flyers to each unit at the development I work at. There is 358 units. I put the flyers under the doors of the units. 358 times bending over and standing up. Afterward, I felt like I spent the day at the amusement park You must know what I mean. Like your body is still experiencing that up and down movement. It isn't as pleasant as the rides themselves. I kind of felt nauseous.

All this walking and moving around is making me realize that: I am out of shape, I am lazy and I miss walking everywhere, like in Madison.

Dancing is not my specialty

Friday

Free Beer! It was some kind of special a bar was having for Lakefront Brewery. Of course, I only had one cup at which I drank at a leisurely pace. Watched everyone else drink it up. Once again, not annoying and extremely funny. I always feel much more relaxed when everyone else is drunk and having fun. I feel like, when I am drunk myself, I need to show how NOT drunk I am, but when I am sober and around drunk people that are having fun, it allows me to loosen up a bit. Besides the free beer, I also partook in the Guinness Toast. I have never heard of this before, but apparently it is a worldwide thing. I am starting to warm up to the Guinness, it isn't that bad.

I did my usual dancing while sitting in my chair. I was working it out, robot style. I rarely dance but I love to bop to the music. Then one of my co-workers tried to teach me the rock-with-it-lean-with-it dance. That was a disaster. Basically, I should not be allowed to dance at all. Not even slow dance. I remember a slow dance I had at one of my high school proms (yes, I actually went to some). A guy friend of one of my friends was nice enough to ask me to dance. It was awkward and very typical of an awkward high school slow dance. Arm width apart, dancing in a circle really fast. I was just praying for it to be over, because the guy was kind of creepy.

Unfortunately, my dancing is not even funny/goofy. It is just sad.

Phat-Ass! vs. Flat-Ass! - Big Booty Hoes! Hop Wit-it!

Saturday

Bowling with Team Spare-it (say it out loud and fast and yes we are making t-shirts). Scores: 68-86-145. A lot of high-fiving. Good times.

Danielle's Birthday party. A bunch of dental students. My friend Carrie sat at the dining room table watching everyone else play drinking games around the living room coffee table. We talked about how we felt inferior because we weren't in dental school. Then Danielle was facing away from me and I noticed her butt. I said to Carrie, "Danielle's got an ass on her. I never really noticed before." Carrie proceeded to tell Danielle, I said she had a big butt. So in retaliation she slapped me on my butt (ow!) and said, "Yeah, that went right to the bone, flat-ass." Ah, good times.

When I finally did start talking to some dental students, I found that they were funny and nice. It was brought up again that I supposedly told Danielle that she had a "fat-ass," and one of the guys said, "She mean p-h phat-ass." I sure did. Another girl said that she once called Danielle a slut, because she was wearing a knee-length skirt. Hee, my type of people. When you make fun of people, it means you like them.

Look at us, we're so PRETTY!!!! *Girly Squeal*

Sunday:

I got up at 8:30, thinking that it would only take me 30 minutes to shower, dress and leave for my hometown to meet with my sister, mom and the rest of the bridesmaids to go dress shopping. I was wrong. I turned the shower on to warm up while I got undressed and put my contacts in (I know you aren't suppose to but I like to be able to SEE while I shower). As I was about to get in the shower, I noticed that the bathroom floor was wet, soaking wet. I forgot to tuck in the shower curtain. Frustrated I quickly took my shower, and then mopped up the floor and squeezed the excess water out of my shower mat. The cleaning of my floor took an extra 15 minutes, so I didn't leave Milwaukee until 9:15. As I was on the highway, I noticed that I needed gas, so I pulled off the next exit, only to find that the nearest gas station was, what felt like, 2 miles off the exit. There is an extra 15 minutes. Luckily, I planned on getting to my mom's an hour earlier so I was only 30 minutes early. See, planning for crap to go down is a good thing.

Anyway, we went to a bridal store that was a little over an hour away. I had a lot of driving to do yesterday. When we got to the store, we were sent of immediately to pick out what dresses we liked and hang them on the designated clothes rack. I felt completely lost. I didn't know if there was a specific color or style, plus I am just not a girly girl. I don't know what looks good. It must of been funny to look at me because I was barely even touching the clothes. I just kept on walking back and forth through the aisles. By the time I picked out 2 dresses the rack was filled with dresses all the other girls had picked out. My sister made me try on one that I knew would look bad, and I quickly picked out one more, just to see how the halter style would look. Next was the dressing rooms.

The lady in charge of helping us out, asked our bra sizes so we could wear a strapless corset while trying the dresses on. Holy Constriction! I was laughing at myself while I was putting it on. You had to hook it on backwards and then twist it around. I was jumping so that it could twist around but it made my boobs look fantastic. Here is a summary of the dresses and how they looked:

Dress 1: calf-length, pink, with sheer, triangles shaped straps and a ribbon belt. Looked awkward.
Dress 2: looked like a maroon version of a prom dress I had. No!
Dress 3: body hugging chocolate brown, silky fabric. Two words: spare tire!
Dress 4: calf-length, lavender halter with a flower/belt. A very poor man's version of Marilyn Monroe.

My cousin, who is seven, came out with this full length champagne colored dressed, that had little straps and looked gathered/cinched on one side. Everyone "awwwed" and wanted a big girl version of the dress. They found one that was similar, except strapless and with a brooch on the ruched part. I dreaded even looking at it, because of the strapless part. I have an odd shaped body. My appendages are skinny, but I have a rounder midsection. I was afraid of some fat hanging over the edges. There were no mirrors in the dressing room so I had no idea coming out of the room.

I have to admit though, once I saw my reflection, I was really hoping that this would be the dress, because it was very pleasing to all figures. The size ranges of the bridesmaids range from a 4 to 18 and everyone looked pretty in there dresses, and everyone felt pretty. You could tell. My sister had to try her dress on too, so her friend said, "Do you want us to keep our dresses on so we can stand next to you." Heh. My other cousin, who is 15, wanted to take her dress home right away, which of course none of us did because we wanted to have clean new dresses, so we ordered them. There was a lot of girliness going on, which is funny because none of the bridesmaids, is really a" girly girl."

When we first had the dresses on, I was standing with my seven year old cousin looking into the mirror with her, when all of the sudden I said, "FLEX!" At the same time, we showed off our guns, making tough grrl! faces. That's how my family rolls.

I know what I want to be when I grow up

I want to be a forever student. I miss school. Lately, I have noticed that I miss school a lot. There are a lot of times, I wonder if my major (Sociology) was a wrong choice. It's too broad, and it didn't train me to do really anything. But at the same time, I loved what I was studying. To me it was fascinating. Studying human behavior and theorizing why people are so stupid. It's just awesome. Still to this day, I talk a lot about what I studied while in school. Particularly, I always seem to bring up my Human Sexuality course I took sophomore year. Who wouldn't want to know about masturbatory practices and nicknames for it?

The reason I bring this up, is because some fellow co-workers and I are in charge of leading a segment of Friday training. The topic we decided to present was Body Image and Media. I took a Woman's Studies course and always found the work of Jean Kilbourne to be fascinating so I was super pumped about doing this.

While doing some initial research on the internet, I found nothing. So I decided to look at the UW-Madison library website for some inspiration. I was looking at all the listing of journal entries on Body Image and Media, Gender and Sex Image in the Media etc., and found myself jealous of all the students who were able to check out that material and read it. I actually found myself desiring to check out the material to read FOR FUN! Such a nerd, I am. Luckily I found some awesome websites that showcase some examples of offensive body image usage.

I am also planning on using a book, I read for my Comics Literature class called Ways of Seeing by John Berger. Part of the book comments on art and advertisement and how women are "surveyed." According to this book, both men and women are taught to look at women as objects (the surveyed or the object of the "gaze") and not actors (the surveyor or the "gazer"). Also, a woman's presence, or how she is portrayed, is how she WANTS to be treated. A man's presence is a outward expression of his emotions, and is not indicative of how he wants to be treated. A kind of modern way to look at this is if a woman is dressed "slutty", she wants people to treat her as a "slut." Summed up: Traditionally men are not concerned, or don't have to be concerned with what others think. Woman need or should be concerned with what others think. I could go on and on about this book, but you should read it if you have the chance. It's only 154 pages (with A LOT of pictures).

If you want to do your own little investigation, first take a look at the links I connected to and read about the ways women, and men, are objectified (ex. focusing on body parts and not faces, the positioning of the bodies in sexual positions, the use of the mouth, as dolls/not humans at all, violence, etc.) pick up a magazine: whether it be Cosmo, Maxim, Essence or whatever, and take a look at the ads. Particularly, the liqueur, tobacco, perfume and clothing ads. This is fascinating stuff here people!

Ok, enough with my dorkiness. Later.

Last Minute Bombardment of Valentine's Day...

Valentine's Day for me, is like Christmas for many naysayers: extremely over commercialized. Every year it is torturous for me. How could there be one day out of the year (two for people who celebrate Sweetest Day, or Sweatiest Day as my dad so famously wrote on a card for my mom when they first started dating) that you are expected to show your love one that you love them with candy, cards and lingerie. Don't forget the never ending advertising that goes on a month, sometimes earlier, beforehand. Apparently, they are even commercializing on anti-valentine's sentiments. Hey, step off my sub-culture, man.

Last year, living with two females that were either in an established relationship or starting a new one, I felt like I was in hell. The cutesy-ness of it all is enough to make my skin crawl even now.

I thought this year was going well. I do not have any roommates to make me gag at all the stories about the "cute" things their boyfriends did for them (Rianna if you are reading this, I am only half-kidding, heh). The advertising for Valentine's didn't seem so aggressive. Then the day came and all bets were off. I am seeing so many ads for gift ideas for your loved ones. I am getting a "Happy Valentine's" here, and e-mail there and of course the dreaded question, "So what are your plans?" ARGH! I don't mind the well wishings for the day (there should be more "Happy Day"s going on, instead of the few days we get to say it, based off what the US calendar tells us), I don't mind the e-mails (these in fact are more amusing than anything else). What I hate is that question. My reply is always snarky, "I am spending the night with my TV," or something equally sad and embittered. Ads, I can do without also. Perhaps if they didn't make everyone looks so materialistic.

In reality, I don't want to feel bitter. Single people are expected to feel this way on a day to celebrate couples and love. And for those who know me, I am such a rebel to expectations.

For those of you who are equally as nerdy as me, here is the History of Valentine's Day. I don't think the idea about putting names into an urn is that bad. At least then someone would be forced to get to know me and I would get a few dates out of the situation, muhahaha. But knowing my luck I would be stuck with someone I didn't find attractive, intelligent or interesting.

I am not bitter, superficial or picky so you all can shut it.

Because I am bored

Here is my new pet. His name is puppy and he is black. If I were to get a real cat, I probably would not name him/her puppy, but i would hope that he/she would be black. I would most likely get a boy, because as I understand it, boy cats are friendlier and more affectionate. I need all the attention I can get.

Another quiz result so very fitting to me...

How is this possible when I am wearing old fashion undies?

Your Stripper Song Is

Closer by Nine Inch Nails "You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I�ve got no Soul to tell" When you dance, it's a little scary - and a lot sexy.

What Song Should You Strip To?

Trent Reznor is a sexy little man.

That's morbid, and kind of funny

I have the workshops I hold for my job at this senior housing pavilion/recreation center deal. As I was waiting for the most recent workshop to start, and for no one to come, I was reading the newspaper that was on the table next to me. It was called 50 plus. On the front cover, they had a picture of the oldest and youngest graduates of the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. The youngest 19 (started college at 16. This angers me. Not only is she able to start school at 16, but she manages to finish in less than 4 years. I hope she dies a firey death. Ok, not really but she still sucks.) and the oldest was 67. Holla! I love education, and I love to see people finish off their schooling. And that last statement was not sarcatic, Finger Up! (For those of you not knowing the inside joke, go here and watch the performance of the one and only Girls Guitar Club, now defunct. I wish they were still together. You can also go here to find a short they made staring E (Mark Evertt) of the Eels).

Anyway, to the morbid part. I was flipping through the pages, when I noticed something funny. They had an ad for those who were interested in selling their homes, right next to senior living facilities. Then, right next to that, a FUNERAL HOME ad. The ad had some happy faces of senior citizens on it. How fitting. It's like the cycle of life: you sell your house, you live in some crappy nursing home, you go to the funeral home. I wish I would have taken the newspaper and scanned the ad, because the pictures were the funniest part.

Although I found it humorous I was still disturbed by it. I will always be disturbed by death and the marketing of the products surrounding it. Yet that ad was not as disturbing as the commercial I saw for a funeral home staring the funeral home owner's children basically saying, "My parents work at a funeral home. Look at how cool they are. I am cool because I am their offspring. We are cool together." Ew. Just gross.

I always thought I was, but now I know for sure

BECAUSE BLOGTHINGS QUIZ TOLD ME SO!!!

You are Agnostic

You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care. For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine. You rather focus on what you can control - your own life. And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

Job offer...maybe, kind of

So the placement that I am at now is only temporary. I am basically an intern. After my Public Allies stint at my placement, I am free to roam off on my own. As far as I know, my placement could offer me the job full-time. I went into this thinking that may be a possibility. However, the more I got into my job, the more unrealistic it became. Not necessarily because I didn't want it, but because I thought I was sucking some major ass in position I was in. Then I got a call today...

It was from an intern at the national offices. She works below the woman who initially hired me. Anyway, the intern was talking to me, critiquing the way I filled out my monthly report, and she mentioned how she was going to be sad to see me go after my 10 months were up. I wish I could transcribe the entire conversation so that you, the reader, could help in giving me your opinion in what was really being said but I don't remember what she said word for word. Since I don't remember I am just going to have to tell you what I took from the conversation.

What I got was that they were interested in having me stay after my Public Allies time, but they didn't think that it was possible, based off policies that PA and/or they have. I told her that I thought I remembered other Allies in the past being hired on to their placements. This information seemed to both surprise and intrigue her. She did tell me at the end of our conversation, to keep them in mind when the 10 months are up. Hmm. Maybe I am reading too much into it. It would be nice to have a solid job offer after this is all done.

Is it just me or are my blogs boring, horrible written, and/or stupid? Wait a minute...Don't answer that.

A bizarre Dream and a Barrel of Fun

I had a very weird dream last night. Of course I don't remember the whole thing, but there is a certain segment that I do remember. It involved me being with a group of friends (these were made up friends because no one looked familiar) at what seemed to be ski resort. Some of us decided to go on the ski lift, just for fun. Well it ended up going really high. Once it hit the peak of the mountain, the ski lift accelerated even faster and continued to climb into the sky. The altitude was so high that I couldn't breathe. But the weirdest thing of all was that I was enjoying it. It was like an amusement park ride. Then without explanation, the ski lift dropped really fast, sort of like the Raging Bull from Six Flags. You think that people would be scared of a ski lift suddenly dropping, but no I was still screaming with glee. The sensations of dropping and the snow hitting my face, felt so real. I don't remember the rest of the dream from this point on.

Recently I was having this conversation with a Public Allies friend about Peter, the blow up doll that I inherited from Dawn. We decided that it would be a funny idea to bring it over to a get together that another Public Allies friend was having. A sort of house warming gift if you will. Well, it went over extremely well. I think Peter will have some good times with his new family. (The funniest thing about bringing Peter over was that I had my friend Carrie blow him up while we were driving over there. It must have been a sight for people who were standing in the streets and saw us at stop sights. We also stopped to get some fries at this restaurant, so we left Peter sitting in the backseat. When we finished eating and started to drive again Peter scared me when I would look in the rearview mirror It is so creepy).

My scores for Saturday nights bowling league...83, 98 and 137. Yes, I realize that I kick some major ass.

Starting to hate politics in general

President Bush's State of the Union was on last night. It was suppose to be a speech of optimism, instead I felt even worse about the future of my country. I literally felt sick to my stomach hearing the future plans. Since I don't remember exactly what got to me, here is a run down of what I found amusing/disturbing:

-At the beginning Bush gave a quick tribute to Coretta Scott King. It is very sad to see such a prominent figure of Civil Rights leave us. When he was speaking, the camera scanned the audience, and who else did they show but... Yes you guessed it, Black people. Oh look how diverse the audience is...First Lady Bush even had, what appeared to be a Muslim woman and a Black man, sitting next to her. Yes, I don't know much about politics, so these people could be related to the subject matter, or some big political figure, but still...To me it was such a publicity ploy. And later when Bush was talking about education and children, the cameraman found...Yes, a child. Way to keep our attention. (Back to the Coretta Scott King thing. I don't know where I heard it, I think it was Good Morning America or something, but when they were talking about her, they said something to the effect as, "Behind every Great Man there is a Great Woman." God, as a feminist, this saying irks me like no other. How about, "Beside every Great Man there is a even Greater Woman." Yeah, that is much better.) Ok, back to the State of the Union.

-Whenever the Republican half would go into ruckus applause, Bush would give this very self-pleasing smirk. Yes, your speech writers did an ok job. But here's a thought, perhaps they weren't applauding in approval, but just to piss off the Democrats.

-Bush started the section talking about Social Security, and he talked about how his two of his fathers favorite people were approaching retirement age, himself and President Clinton. They flashed to Hillary Clinton you had this pursed lips/furrowed brow look going on. Don't worry Hill, I had the same look on my face. The Bush administration is really playing up this Bush Sr./Clinton friendship.

-Hey look. It's Senator Kohl.

-I was so embarrassed with the Dem vs. Rep applauding/booing. Yes this is our government. You could easily mistake this audience for an audience at a rival high schools basketball game.

-Ahhhhhhh. I hate the Patriot Act. But hey, it doesn't affect me because I'm American, I look white bread. Wooo hooo America.

I could go on and on about this but I won't since I need to get going. If you want to comment about how little I know about politics go ahead, but be aware, I already know.