People

Fashion Advice from a Hobo

2011-05-26T16:56:00.002-05:00

I am well aware that I should not be dispensing any fashion advice or criticism. I have been told that I dress like a hobo (a cute hobo of course) and I still have and wear clothing items that I had in high school. (Sure, you think that its an accomplishment, having not gained any weight in 10+ years, but really it means that I was kind of big to start off). Regardless of this, I have two fashion complaints, that I just can't get my head around.

1. New-ish fashion trend - Feather hair extensions! - So it's probably not all that new, but remember I am from the Midwest, so trends tend to hit us about a decade later. I was completely oblivious to this trend even when it became popular in Milwaukee, until my friend pointed it out to me (big ups to Ember). Now I see it all of the time! Google Image it if you need to know what I am talking about. Not a fan. I do not understand why this is cool. It reminds me of Ke$ha, and whenever I think of her, I feel slightly dirty, and I am a fan of feeling clean.

2. White sweat socks with dress shoes. Why do guys do this? It irritates me. I feel for the guys that have foot issues (ew) so they get a pass. But those guys that have every else perfect. Nice shirt/pant combo. Everything looks nicely pressed. Hair/beard/nails are perfectly groomed. Then....bam!.....white sweat socks combined with the black/brown dress shoe. Its like their significant other/mom got them dressed but failed to think about the socks. Who knows what is going on with the underwear situation!

Once again I will highlight that I am currently dressed and coiffed like a hobo. I am clearly the one to judge.

I Love People Watching...Especially When Said People are Dancing!

2011-05-21T09:58:00.002-05:00

My worked asked me to staff another client's Annual Meeting. Having never attended another clients' meeting, I agreed, hoping that I would learn a few additional tricks for my own client's meeting (how do they run their registration, exhibit hall, staffing, etc).

This particular client has attendees that are your typical science nerds (P.S. I LOVE Science Nerds). These particular nerds love their scientific sessions, and will not miss a nanosecond of the presentations. Their breaks between sessions are used for restroom breaks/refreshment pick ups and walking to the next rooms. At first, I was witnessing 0 minutes of networking/socializing in the hallways, which is completely different from the annual meetings I run....But then I saw the other spectrum of their personalities.

One particular thing that this meeting does, that my client's meeting does not do, is hold a Friday night party, with a cash bar, snacks and a live band. This year's band was an 80's cover band, who were really good! The attendees seemed to dig them as well, because about three quarters of the party people were up and dancing. They had formed a large dance circle. If they saw one person standing alone even slightly moving the upperhalf of their body, they grabbed that person and pulled them into the dance circle. It was an adorable sense of science nerd community. They danced like no one was watching or at least like they didn't care what they people watching were thinking (which was good for them, because I was on the sidelines giggling softly at the white-boy shuffles).

Normally you only get this type of action at weddings, but apparently you get them at conferences as well!

Weird People Like To Talk To Me

2011-05-06T15:48:00.003-05:00

I have stated before that while waiting for/riding the bus I attempt to ward off random strangers from talking to me by wearing sunglasses, headphones and a mean-ass look on my face. It works 90% of the time. That 10% of the time that it doesn't work usually results in an event similar to this:

While walking to the bus stop after work, I saw a man on a bike (with baskets full of trash) talking to two terrified looking college-aged kids. I stood about 5 feet away with my back towards them. Part of me knew that I was next in line for conversation if I made eye contact and based on the looks of those kids, it wasn't the most fun conversation.

I quickly looked out the corner of my eye, to monitor the situation, I noticed "man-on-bike" was now dancing a gig in front of the still terrified kids and talking animatedly. Once he was done dancing, I saw the terrified-dude-college-kid hand over a cigarette to man-on-bike, as an apparent plea to leave them alone. After this my attention was fully focused in the opposite direction, still hoping the bus would come quickly before I was next.

Sometime had passed when I sensed a body very close to me. I turned slightly to my right to find the "man-on-bike" was about an inch away from being nose to nose to me. He was saying something to me, but because I had my ear buds in, I couldn't hear what he was saying. I removed the ear buds and said, "Yes?"

MoB: "Do you have a light" waves cigarette all up in my face
Me: "No, I don't smoke. Its bad for you."
MoB: unsarcastically "What!?! Oh yeah, I heard it causes cancer."
Me: "It can indeed do that."
MoB: "You're so smart."........"Kiss me!"
Me: "No. Uh-uh. Nope. Not going to happen."
MoB: dejected "Oh. Ok....Do you have a light?"
Me: "No. I still don't."
MoB: "You're smart!"

Then the bus arrived to save me from another request for a kiss.

All the Celebrities I Will See In My Life Have Been Seen In One Day This Past Weekend

2011-05-03T21:47:00.004-05:00

While in Washington DC, I happened to stay in the same hotel that was holding the White House Correspondent's Dinner. Win! While I was not smart/fast enough to take photos, I can share a list of the celebrities along with a short story of my "interaction" (if any) with them.

Seth Meyers (started by my friend Ember shouting at him from my hotel room, followed by being within in 10 feet of him in the same elevator bank, followed by finding out that he was just two hotel rooms away from me.)
Ian Somerhalder
Chris Colfer
Heather Morris
Bradley Cooper (shorter than i would expect, but dare I say it...if possible the camera makes him uglier. The man is good looking and super nice to his fans who he went directly up to and hugged).
Carmello Anthony and his his Yaya (or is it Lala? I don't know, I just remember her being an MTV VJ).
Joan Rivers (to quote Ember, "She looks like a hot mess, but I love her.")
Selma Hayek (She was trying to go the direction where there were less gawkers, most likely due to the fact that she wasn't yet dressed up. She looked gorgeous either way. Ember and I spotted her. We loud whispered, "Selma!" She turned to look at us and waved).
Mila Kunis, who in real life looks like she weighs as much as my not quite 4-year old niece
Andy Samberg
Bill Hader
Chase Crawford
Matthew Morrison
Arianna Huffington - who I was standing with while waiting for an elevator the following morning. I kept on looking at her through the side of my eye, deciding whether or not it was her. I was so embarrassed at myself that I just decided to walk in the Executive Lounge to pick up a cup of coffee instead. As I walked away I heard her speak. Yep, it was her.
Norah O'Donnell
Janet Napolitano
Ben Bernake
Geraldo Rivera (when we saw him, he was smiling and waving to the crowd while he also appeared to be following a rather pissed-off looking younger blond. He kept on following her until he appeared to have disappeared, then he came back without her, but he was with..
Cee-lo Green - who really appears to love his fans (or maybe he just loves the attention).
Kevin Johnson (formally of the Suns, current Mayor of Sacramento)
Brian Williams - I waved excited to him and yelled, "Hi Brian!" He waved back and pointed behind him and said, "Matthews is behind me, but he is not that important." Side note: Brian Williams is missing three things to being the perfect man - 1. Being age appropriate. 2. Being single. 3. Being in real life.
Chris Matthews (he was behind Brian Williams, and not as important). His hair was a lot more Donald Trumpy than I expected. Speaking of....
Donald Trump - meh. Best thing about him was when someone from the crowd shouted at him, "Hey Donald, I have my birth certificate!"
Lance Armstrong
Anna Paquin
Steven Moyer (both he and Anna were also very gracious to their fans. Love!)
Jane Lynch
John Hamm and his partner (who is also an actress, but I cannot name a show she has been on)
Eric Handler
America Ferrera
Zach Galifanikas (did I spell that right?)
Jeremy Piven
Tim and Tyne Daly
Guy who plays Ken Cosgrove on Mad Men (who is also very handsome in real life).
David and Patricia Arquette
Amy Poehler
Fred Armisen
Jack Macbrayer
Colin Powel
Rosario Dawson (got a friendly wave from her)
Paula Abdul (who Ember pointed out appeared to not know how to navigate the driveway)
Rahm Emanuel (in a very business like manner, I asked if I could shake his hand, and he did)
Rashida Jones
Eliot Spitzer (I noticed many people keeping their distance from him. I wonder why)
Jason Sudeikis - I saw a car approaching him from behind, so I yelled "What out Jason, there's a car behind you!" He turned around to look, got out of the way, and turned to look at me and waved. We are now going to be married, and raised his illegitimate child with January Jones (that last part is all speculation).
Bill O'Reily
Dennis Miller
Will.I.am
Shawn White - The Flying Tomato
John Legend (who is also incredibly handsome in real life) Ember said hello to him as he exited the elevators and he acknowledged her by asking her how she was doing. She responded by turning as red as the The Flying Tomato's hair.
Paul Rudd - Awesome beard. Quite shorter than I would have imagined.
Gayle King - Had probably the longest conversation with her. She is really friendly and humble. No wonder Oprah love her.

I'm pretty sure I failed to mention a person here and there. But you get the point. I saw lots of people. And it was awesome.

I Practice My Flirting Skillzzzz with the TSA Agents

2011-03-28T23:00:00.002-05:00

After my initial flight to Philadelphia got canceled and waiting four hours for my rescheduled flight, I decided that instead of being crabby I was going to think positive and keep a smile on my face. I was keeping the smile on my face as I was approaching the middle-to-older-aged TSA agent at the security check point. I handed him my boarding pass and ID. The following conversation went a little something like this:

TSA Agent: Now let me see here...(holds up photo id so its near my face). That can't be the same person. That's a pretty smiling face in front of me, and that face in the id is so stern.
Me: That's because the meanies at the DMV told me not to smile.
TSA Agent: I don't blame you. Who could smile there? Its built for anger.
Me: I know, right? You make me smile though!
TSA Agent: Aw! Have a nice day! (hands me my id and ticket)
Me: You too. (winks)

Yes, I winked! It just came out of me, and I couldn't help myself.

This is now the second TSA agent that has made my day in a span of less than a year! (The first TSA Agent told me I was easy on the eyes). So this makes me want to draw one of two possible conclusions:

1. TSA Agents are trained to compliment frazzled looking women.
2. Older men that work at airports just have a thing for me.

Mom Quote Win

2010-12-21T18:19:00.002-06:00

Three Background Pieces of Information (for those that don't already know):

My Dad is white
My Mom is American Indian/Native American/Indigenous/Menominee/Fill-in-the-blank-that-makes-you-happiest
My family is not shy about talking about social/political issues. Even when we know that we agree with the other person's stance, we still love to play devil's advocate and argue. The in-laws are still getting used to holiday gatherings full of heated debates

The last time I was home, my brother and I started to engage my father in a discussion about White Privilege and innate prejudice. My dad, rightfully so, thinks of himself as a progressive open minded individual. So he started to feel guilty and down in the dumps at the thought of being even slightly privileged or prejudiced. Trying to cheer up my father I tried once again to reassure my father that everyone has prejudiced thoughts, even those that claim that they can't because "they have black/gay/etc friends." My mom then chimed in with,

"It's okay honey. I know you married me because you loved me and not to prove you're not racist." Oh Mom!

Another Success Interaction with a Man!

2010-12-16T17:48:00.002-06:00

As the weather gets colder, the bus ride home gets more crowded. Usually I end up standing in the aisle because every single seat is taken. I'm not one of those people that is shy about sitting next to a stranger, so I will sit next to anyone, even if it looks like my behind won't fit in the seat...even if it looks like that person will be smelly...I will at least try.

Today as I walked onto the bus I looked around and saw one open seat. I walked over to it only to realize that the guy that was sitting next to the empty seat had his backpack on it. I stood there for a little while, thinking he would have the common courtesy to move his bag on his lap. Then he looked at me. I smiled. He just looked away and didn't move his bag.

Defeated, I moved to stand near the back doors. Apparently my hobo-chic was not cute enough for him. But don't worry, I gave him the evil eye the entire ride home. Jerkface.

Remember That Time My Dad Was a Big Fat Liar?

2010-12-06T18:34:00.007-06:00

So as a child, I was more than a little gullible. My Dad once told me that my Mom was Tina Turner. For some reason I was dumb enough to believe him. I mean... can you blame me...The resemblance was uncanny!

Here's another picture of "Tina" with the liar:
Love you Mom and Dad!

Only In Milwaukee's Trendy and Fashionable Eastside

2010-10-23T18:50:00.002-05:00

I guess you could say I have experience my first attempted mugging...kinda, sorta. While walking to a bar to watch the Wisconsin game with some fellow Alumni this woman, who was walking towards me, suddenly stopped dead in her tracks and looked me straight in the eye.

I've seen her around the neighborhood often. She is a skinny woman who is about a head shorter than me. There is almost always a distinct urine odor when you walk past her, and she always has some kind of weird stain on the back of her pants. You definitely get the feeling that she might have a few screws loose.

Anyway, as I am about to walk past her, she suddenly shouts, "Hey! Afhsjdlsfh" Because I couldn't hear the second part, I turn around and said, "What?". As I did this I find her fumbling through her purse. She then pulls out a tiny pair of manicure scissors and starts swinging it at me, she says to me, "Give me your money!"
Now, this situation is actually kind of sad. And when it's not sad, it's kind of scary. But I couldn't help myself. I laughed! I replied, "Um..no," and turned to walk away.

Manicure Scissors Lady seemed very disappointed. Defeated almost. As she started to put her scissors back into her purse, I could hear her say almost under her breath, "Why didn't you give me your money?" Maybe it was her first attempted mugging too!

Next time, I will give her a dollar for the effort.

Campaign to Bring Back the VHS Tape

2010-09-02T18:55:00.003-05:00

Today at work someone was talking about The Goonies and dared insinuated that I was too young to know the reference. I responded with something along the lines of, "That was a regular VHS rental from the Video Store for my family. Take that for dated!"

This got me to thinking, how superior the VHS (and come to think of it the cassette) tape is to the DVD (or CDs). Anyone with a child, or are themselves carelessly destructive with discs, can attest to this. I regularly get interrupted with jumped or frozen frames whenever I attempt to watch a movie with my niece or nephew (much thanks to them taking out/replacing the DVD themselves). VHS tapes were indestructible in comparison. Sure, you don't get to skip to and from scenes effortless and you don't get all of those special features, but INDESTRUCTIBLE! (No one watches those Special Features anyway).

However, even DVDs and CDs are dated now, what with electronic files. How n00bish of me to even write this rate (Did I use that term correctly? I think I need to lose my geek card.)

P.S. All this nostalgia got me to thinking of other dated entertainment products. Anyone remember those old school cable boxes? The one with the slider-thingy to get to the channels? No? Well, while Googling "Old School Cable Boxes" I found this:
Remember now? Ah childhood memories. Now I am off to watch my NKOTB concert VHS tape, but not before I rock out to my Ace of Base cassette tape.

What Not To Do When Cute Guy Talks To You On Bus

2010-08-28T14:59:00.003-05:00

So, of course these examples are pure fiction. None of these things happened to a particularly awkward 27 year old woman living and working in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

So upon entering the bus, you select a seat next to an attractive, age appropriate guy. Kudos! Nice seat selection.
You feel said guy turn to look directly at you every few seconds. You discretely start to wipe your nose/mouth/face because that would be the only reason he is looking at you...There is probably a booger hanging out there somewhere. Negative kudos.
Finally you turn to look at him to realize that he is saying something to you. Your sunglasses and cleverly hidden ear bugs (masked even more by your long hair) don't notice this. Negative kudos.
You remove your ear buds and sun glasses to be an "active listener" to what this seemly nice guy has to say. Kudos!
The guy starts to ask you about the tray of cupcakes on your lap, about baking, about your work, bosses. Each question he asks is directly related to the answer you just gave and he is smiling pleasantly with each question. He's a great conversationalist. You reciprocate by giving short answers, not asking any questions in return and making a face that is not to far from this:

If the look could have a name, it would be titled: "Why are you talking to me? What's your deal? No, seriously...WTF?"

So after the guy is done asking you questions he gives you one final smile, still not turning away, almost waiting to give you a final chance to be an actual participant in the conversation. You put your sunglasses back on, headphones back in the ears and turn to face the front of the bus...*facepalm*.
You continue on in silence, awkwardly sitting next to this guy for 10 minutes until your stop comes up. You get up and leave without smiling or saying goodbye. Negative kudos.

Obvs...I'm way good at talking to good looking guys. Err... I mean this fictional lady is...

Please Allow Me To Have a Reality Show Rant

2010-08-11T21:12:00.002-05:00

Anyone that knows me, me knows that I shamelessly love me some reality show television. And I am not talking everyone-talks-about-it-the-next-day reality shows like American Idol or America's Got Talent. No, I'm talking about those random reality shows you find on CW. Take for example the new show called Plain Jane. After one episode, I have decided I am going to both love to hate AND hate to love this show. Where to start on the hate...

First of all, I hate the show's definition of a "Plain Jane". Wear glasses? Don't wear heals? Don't wear make-up? Goofy? Got curly hair? Yup...your plain. We better put contacts in, straighten your hair, put make-up on and make an already adorably cute girl look like an extra from The Hills. (To be fair, they do look good afterward, but that sort of like putting a puppy in the hands of a monkey...making a cute situation even more cute).
The situations they put these girls in to learn how to flirt. Even good flirts couldn't pull that off. And the results are just SO PAINFUL to watch that my secondhand embarrassment leaves me feeling nauseous. I resort to talking to myself, such as, "I sincerely hope she stops touching that guys arm. He looks super creeped out." What they are teaching these girls to do is to be that creepy guy at the bar that makes you roll your eyes at his tired lines.
The results is always because of some guy. She is getting made over for a guy. They try hard to work in the "Oh but look at how confident she is now!" but really, its about the guy. Makes for excellent TV, but me and my feminist soapbox say that if a girl would like to change her appearance, it should be because she wants to do it for herself, and not because boys will like her better.
The last complaint, is a complaint to any reality show in which the ending is the revelation of a crush. Of course more times than not the object of affection is going to be reciprocal of the feelings! They don't want to look like the bad guy. Just dump them a few months after the "follow-up" taping.
The scenes from next week's episode...I don't even see any plain in this girl. She looks at most like she isn't wearing make-up. Oh, but she did say she didn't like girly stuff. Total Plain Jane. At least the girl from the episode had red hair, glasses, freckles and kind of came off as slightly awkward.

Who am I kidding, I just straight up hate this show. But since I love hating things, I love second hand embarrassment and I need to brush up on my creepy flirting skills, I will totally be watching this again.

P.S. I'm pretty sure I need to get a life!

"And this is a HUMAN dress!" Why I may have the weirdest/awesomest nieces and nephews in the world!

2010-04-27T20:20:00.004-05:00

That quote in the subject line is an original from my niece Lainie, when showing me her little sister's dress. I guess she was trying to distinguish it from... a dog's dress?

This is Lainie. She is almost three. She is awesome because:

If you ask her who her favorite Ghostbuster is, she will tell you "Peter Venkman."

She has recently REALLY gotten into watching 3 Ninjas.

When I showed her how to make a heart shape with your hands, she said, "He ate my heart. He a.a.ate my heart."

While looking at a book of animals together I pointed to what I thought was a hamster and she correctly told me that it was a chinchilla.

Almost every time i go to visit her she is wearing a new costume as an everyday outfit...a tutu, a Super Girl costume, one of many Disney princesses' dresses. One time she wasn't wearing a "dress-up" outfit, but it was a weird combination of mismatched separates. When I brought it up to my sister, she informed me that Lainie dressed herself. She has the same style sense when it comes to dressing her dolls. Its all about the layers and clashing patterns/colors.

And, of course, one of the main reasons I love her dearly, is when my mom did her hair to match mine. She looked in the mirror and said, "I look beautiful! I look like Auntie Hollie!" Did I mention that she is one smart cookie?

This is my nephew Ian. He is awesome because:

He has just turned two years old and he is already the size of an average 3.5 year old. Currently I am trying to perfect lifting him up without grunting loudly. Its a challenge, because he's a big boy (to put it not so lightly).

He is so fair (both skin and hair) that he is almost translucent. Its kind of funny to see him in my mom's (who is visibly not white) arms. Its such a contrast but you can see in their interactions with each other that they are clearly grandma (or rather gaga) and grandson.

When he is super excited to see me, he runs in place and then takes off into my arms.

He can sit through 9 innings of a Brewers game without whining!

Ian is an "intense" lover. When he hugs you, he wraps both arms fully around your head or neck and then attempts to squeeze the life out of you. Its pretty impressive that a kid that age and stature has that much strength. You can also see just a tiny amount of fear in his cousins' eyes when he goes in for a hug.

His lovey-dovey-ness also extends to ear rubbing. Apparently he treats everyone like a puppy with big flappy ears that need to be rubbed.

He is also a little bit of a food-swipper. It started at an early age. He was just old enough to walk when he first approached my plate, which I placed on the coffee table, and stole my pizza slice. From the point on whenever I was eating in front of him, it was almost a given that I had to share (he usually indicated this by walking up to me with his mouth open).

That habit has almost died out, but old habits sometimes die hard. When I recently came home from a work trip I was showing by brother my fancy box of chocolates I received as a gift for a job well done. Before I could stop him, Ian took one of those expensive chocolates and stuffed it in his face. Since it was a variety box, I read the description of the stolen chocolate and realized it was flavored with cognac. Ah the refined taste of a two year old.

Then there are the two most recent additions. Lucy:

and Gabriel:
They are babies, so I can't say much about their personalities. I can say that each one of them has already spit up on me within the two months of their existence. But aren't they cute?

Hopefully they will be as quirky as their brother and sister. I also hope that all of my nieces and nephews don't lose their "weirdness" because they are trying to fit in with the other kids. I won't have any stories to tell then!

In case you were asking yourself, "I wonder who took these wonderful photos?!?" Well look no further than LightFALLING Photography by Rachel Droppers. She is great!

Mason Jars...the bane of my existence

2010-01-22T22:05:00.003-06:00

This wonderful (totally not being sarcastic here) woman sits kitty-corner from my cubicle. She is nice, friendly, outgoing and seems very intelligent from what I know about her. When I walk into the office in the morning she greets me and then politely asks me what I'm listening to on my mp3 player. She lets me know when shes brewing more coffee. She must notice me getting up every other hour for more. So why must she annoy me so?

Ok...ok. She doesn't annoy me. With age I have grown to understand that people don't annoy me, but situation/things annoy me. For example, her mason jars annoy me.

Like clockwork, everyday around 3pm, she whips out her metal spoon and mason jar of homemade yogurt. I want to find it charming. She needs an energy boost! And who doesn't need one at that time of day? She's being environmental! All the yogurt she's making herself and eating out of mason jars....why she probably saved a football field's worth of the city dump.

I should explain that my office is the quietest place that every existed. Any noise is amplified by the black hole that is the quiet of the office. That being said...the noise that those mason jars make when there is little-to-no yogurt left...it's right up there with Styrofoam rubbing together (which is my fingernails on a chalkboard). The clanking of the spoon against the jar..CLANKCLANK....CLANKCLANKCLANK..CLANK. I just want to let her know "It's gone. Leave it alone." In the nicest way possible of course.

There is a rule that we are not suppose to have any food with strong odor in our cubicle. I think there should also be a rule about no loud food at the cubicles, which would include loud containers/utensils.

Views From My Cubicle

2010-01-15T23:16:00.009-06:00

I haven't updated this blog in a while for a couple of reasons:

Who blogs anymore when you can make minute by minute updates in a 140 character limit?
Up until a month ago I had a computer that was 8 years old. Looking at it made me sad so I avoided touching it.
I didn't have the internet to work my dinosaur computer (blame it on me being cheap and lazy, but a job promotion has made both a new laptop and internet necessary).
There is nothing to really blog about...unless you don't mind hearing about family and work. Interesting to me, but boring to everyone else.

Because I feel the need to post something and like I said in the last bullet point, all I talk about is work, please enjoy a montage I have title "Views From My Cubicle":

Some outdated pictures of my niece and nephew (Nice! I just made this a work AND family post).

People either get the reference or think I am both confused and conceited.

Yet another example of the mature and responsible woman I become.

This is my work station's H1N1's Prevention Station - provided by my employer. I haven't used either in months.

A plant that my old co-worker left in my care. Besides a rare shared drink from my water bottle I haven't touched it - as is evidence by the depleting soil and note that was left with the plant. Its still alive - kinda.

And finally, an actual view of downtown Milwaukee..from my cubicle.

A Postsecret Posting My Mom was Convinced was Written for Me

2009-09-19T16:54:00.003-05:00

And I said, "No way! PostSecret is totally NSFW."

My week in Montreal...6 days convention center, one day site seeing

2009-05-04T13:18:00.007-05:00

I went to Montreal.

They spoke French and English there.

I was greeted with "Bon Jour, 'Ello 'Olland!" because there are no "H" sounds in french I guess.

There was a lot of churches and strip clubs.

I was told it was wise to never visit during the winter. While I was there is was 70ish degrees.

I would visit again, and actually see more then the inside of the place below. Work...it allows me to travel but not do much site seeing.

I'm definitely not complaining, because a day in Montreal was awesome.

What's a Blog?

2009-03-15T14:23:00.002-05:00

Over 5 months...that's a long time to not update something. It also makes me realize how long it has been since I had internet connection. When I do get computer time, I'm too busy doing other things to update my blog. What am I doing?:

Facebook Stalking
Seeing if there is any updates on my myspace page (and wondering why I have one in the first place)
Purchasing stuff of my wish list on Amazon
Rewatching my favorite Youtube videos ("kick his ask", "charlie bit my finger", "blooood")--children are funny
Reading:
Best Week Ever blog
If it is during any "Cycle" of America's Next Top Model, FourFour for the snarky recaps.
Celebrity Baby Blog (don't look at me that way!)---i love me some pop culture "news"
PostSecret
Found
FartParty
Passive Aggressive Notes
Overheard in New York
I Can Has Cheezburger
Cute Overload -- I like looking at cute things

So now you see why I just have no time to blog about how there are no updates in my life.

Found - The Parents are Moving Edition

2008-09-28T09:49:00.002-05:00

So my parents are moving out of the apartment that they have been living in for the past seven years. Because they are moving into a smaller place, my mom asked me to help her go through some of my old things that she had been holding onto (to see if I wanted to keep them myself, if I wanted to throw/give it away, or if I wanted her to keep it).

Along the way, I found some pretty awesome things:

1. A candy dish I made in some art class. It is severely deformed, and an awful shade of beige with aqua colored flecks. Yet when I pulled it out of a cupboard I still said, "Awwwwwwww." I told my mom she could get rid of it, but I think she is actually keeping it (such a-pack rat).

2. Notebooks from college, including a page from my Journalism Notebook that had a page that simply read "This Lecture is Useless".

3. A sign that I had up on my door my freshman year of college. It was made by the only two people in my dorm I had befriended. It was shaped like a shield and said "The Antisocial Club Welcomes Hollie and Jamie" on the back it stated, "Removal of this sign will result in immediate termination of membership". These are the types of people I befriend.

4. Patches and medals from various athletic and academic accomplishments in my high school year. My mom saw them and said, "We could never afford those jackets that you are suppose to put those packets on but you would never want on anyway right?" I believe my answer was, "Really no."

5. And the best thing I think I found, an old box (that used to carry candy I sold for softball) full of cassettes tapes. These tapes have been collected since the early 90's. Here are some awesome examples of what is there: Madonna - Who's that Girl, Hammer - The Funky Headhunter, Arrested Development - 3 Years, 5 months and 2 days in the life of...,Meatloaf - Bat Out of Hell, TLC - Ooooooohh..On the TLC Tip, Xscape - Hummin' Comin' at 'Cha, Crash Test Dummies - God Shuffled His Feet, Naughty by Nature, Domino, and Foreigner 4.

And now I will have this stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

The only good thing about moving is the nostalgia.

Sarah Palin, I learned about her in my sister's bathroom

2008-08-29T15:05:00.002-05:00

This morning when we heard the news about Sarah Palin being chosen as John McCain's running mate, unlike many in America, my family knew right away who see was. We read about her in the Alaska Magazine that has been sitting around in my sister's bathroom.

I think I have to begrudgingly admit that this choice was kind of genius. But it could also be the worst choice in history. I'm hoping for the latter.

Sometimes my childhood memories sound sketchy

2008-08-28T21:18:00.002-05:00

First sketchy memory...rolling cigarettes with Grandma...But I have discussed that one before. Another sketchy memory...Sunday Night dart leagues.

My parents played on a Sunday Night dart league with my Grandparents, and Aunts and Uncles. Every Sunday they would go to a different bar to participate in the league. Every once in a while, mostly when their team was playing at my "Grandparent's bar" (not a bar that they owned but a bar that they frequented...their version of Cheers) they would bring me and my sister and brothers along with them.

We would sit around, drinking our Cokes and watch my parents play while late 70's classic rock played on the juke box. I remember one night my Aunt serenading her brother to Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody (this was before it became big again in Wayne's World) and I'm pretty sure she wasn't drunk.

Reasons it's sketchy sounding to an outsider: Children in a bar.

Reasons it's not sketchy:
A - It was Sunday "Nights" (everything was done by 9pm at the latest), not a big party night
B - The people in the league were older adults, who rarely drank, if at all (like my Grandparents who didn't drink. "Why did they go to bars?" you ask. Because that was their people.)
C - The only bar we went to was a place were everyone knew us and was surprisingly a family friendly place.
D - In Sheboygan, every other social event is held in a bar (or the event room of a bar).

Aw. Sweet Sheboygan childhood memories.

The Best Story Ever

2008-08-16T10:16:00.002-05:00

Read this story about people saving a mother duck and her ducklings. Makes me feel happy.

Marie Claire Says Milwaukee is Sexy

2008-08-16T00:42:00.003-05:00

That thought you just had..."WTF"...yeah, I had that too.

I was reading it on jsonline.com when my co-worker came over. We chatted a bit about Michael Phelps and the Russia/Georgia conflict then we had this conversation:

Me: In more local news, Marie Claire voted Milwaukee the sexiest city.
Him: shocked face Like 90 out of 100?
Me: No, as in number one.
Him: Well, obviously they've never been here.
Me: Actually they did say in the article that they didn't send a reporter here. They just did some research about how there was a lot of stuff to do during the summer, like festivals and stuff.
Him: Well that's just because its so cold during the winter that people just want to get outside during the summer.
Me: Yeah, but they are also using the term "Sexy" wrong.

Now...don't get me wrong. I liked Milwaukee before I moved there. And I love it now that I live there. But "Sexy" it is not. "Easy-going", "friendly", "cool" are words I would use.

Marie Claire is "silly".

I'm Going to Try and Have a Blog Happy Weekend

2008-08-16T00:26:00.003-05:00

So, I don't have internet access at my apartment. I haven't for 10 months now. For awhile, I grew used to not being able to write my random thoughts on this thing, but I have noticed that lately I have missed it.

Only on here can I talk about the following without having to see passive-aggressive smiles or eyes rolling:
How while on the bus in the morning I randomly look at the older people around me and wonder about their past sex lives. (Probably my attempt to be Amelie-esque in my thoughts.)
My love of everything pop culture and how I try to keep it underwraps and nod when people talk about NPR, even though I rarely if ever listen. (I'm shamefully proud of my obsession.)
How lately my actions have been contradictory from my feelings to a potentially career-killing way. (Has to be some kind of undiagnosised something or other).
My absolutely love and adoration of my niece and nephew. (I love those monkies).
Random news stories and video clips on YouTube I find.

So, those that love my posts (Mom) and those that love to snark at it (I don't think there is anyone besides Mom) rejoice because I will attempt to make a post a day during my weekend in Sheboygan.

Soundtrack to my life

2008-07-06T10:16:00.002-05:00

Recently, when I completed a project at work, I started to hum the Final Countdown to myself (and pumping my fists in the air ever so slightly). Then I realized that I do this all the time. Final Countdown is my "Victory" song.

Actually, I find myself humming songs (or at least singing them in my head) when I am in a particular mood.

Happy Song: Walking on Sunshine
Sad Song: Charlie Brown Theme (you know that sad song that plays when he is walking around)
Angry Song: Down with the Sickness (I have no idea why)
Songs I sing to make others feel awkward: Pony by Ginuwine and Silk's Freak Me
Nostalgia Song: When We Meet Again by G. Love and Special Sauce

and so on...

And according to this, the number #1 song on the day I was born: Maneater by Hall and Oates. And my life's theme song: Independent Woman by Destiny's Child. So true. So true.

This Makes me Feel Awkward

2008-07-06T10:03:00.002-05:00

You can get the context of this video here.

I love reading the Best Week Ever Blog. If I am ever in a bad mood, it makes me happy. And this video is no different. I was laughing so hard that I was tearing out of one eye.

I Love Side-by-Side Comparisons

2008-06-14T11:16:00.006-05:00

Even if it might not be all that accurate.

I like to think that Lainie looks like me when I was her age:

It's the checks!

But it is probably more accurate to go with my brother Andy and his wife Melody's thoughts on their son Ian:

That would be an uncanny resemblance to Little Foot from Land Before Time.

The Unfortunate Circumstance of Being "Of Color" in Sheboygan County

2008-05-26T16:19:00.003-05:00

I always feel unlucky that I didn't end up with my mom's skin darker skin color. I think that she has a beautiful skin tone, and unlike me, she never has to convince people or deal with eye rolls when she tells people she is Native American. However, although my mom is very proud of her heritage, she tells me that I am lucky that I have lighter skin because I don't have to deal with a lot of the stuff that she has had to deal with in her life.

As you would expect in a mostly white town in the 60's and 70's she and her family were not treated that well. Even after more than 20 years, she still gets treated poorly. Take for example, an instance from this past weekend:

Late one evening she and my dad were leaving my sister's house following a visit with their granddaughter. My dad was going a little over the speed limit in city of Sheboygan Falls so was pulled over. Everything about the procedure was normal, until the police officer asked my mom, who was the passenger, for her ID. My mom, being any normal person, asked why. The police officer said it was just normal procedure. Funny...I don't ever remember having to show my ID being a passenger in a vehicle that was pulled over. I was once even pulled over in Sheboygan Falls (for going 45 in a 45 mph zone, by the way) and they didn't ask my mom, who was my passenger, for her ID.

Later that night, my mom looked up what was standard procedures for police officers when pulling over a vehicle. The information she found stated that an office would only ask for other passengers IDs when there is suspicious behavior. I guess the suspicious behavior would be being a person of color in Sheboygan Falls.

"Holland, I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but you are hard to read."

2008-05-25T12:28:00.003-05:00

I was recently told this by my boss. She thought that I didn't like my job. I told her, honestly, that I did like my job. I guess I have to make an effort to show it, but I don't know how.

I guess I have been thinking too much about it, because I asked my sister what she thought it meant. She didn't know either. She suggested that I go skipping down the halls.

What does that mean, "you're hard to read"? That statement is more what you hear when someone is giving you relationship advice, not so much personality advice.

In typical, break-the-tension-Holland-way, after she told me that I was hard to read, I told my boss that it was the way that I kept up the intrigue. Because what am I if I am not mysterious?

Dora The Explorer and Immigration Supporter

2008-05-25T12:14:00.003-05:00

So I was recently watching an episode of Dora the Explorer with my niece. It was an episode in which we find out how she became friends with Boots, Benny the Bull, and all her other friends (and nemesis if you count Swiper).

In the episode she lists off all the places she has to go to, to get to the mountain to drop off the Fiesta Trio's instruments. One of her "obstacles" was a big river. She told all the audience that the had to cross the big river, or as she called it the "Rio Grande".

OMG! She just told the kids to cross the border illegally! For shame Dora. For shame! You know you can't speak like that with this administration.

The Cheese Stands Alone

2008-05-16T16:44:00.003-05:00

This is probably the meanest children's song ever. I remember always being nervous whenever we sang this song in kindergarten. I really did not want to be picked last. Who wants to be picked last? Having children sing/dance around you singing about you being the cheese that stands alone...all smelly and lonely. The song is as torturous as dodge ball (I still recoil from the noise of the ball being slammed against objects). But I digress...

Not much has happened since the last time I wrote. I went to my first big conference for work in San Diego. This is as much of San Diego as I got to see:

We worked 12+ hour days, dealt with a leaky ceiling and (some) snippy people and I had a blast. I actually enjoy that time to what I am doing now at work, which isn't much since it is a down-time.

My niece turned one. I would have a picture of her attacking her birthday cake, but I don't have one because my digital camera broke. I still shed a tear thinking about it. So sad...so expensive...such a rip-off Service Plan.

Also, its been almost two months since the season started and I already have gone to three Brewers games, one of which I won tickets to through a raffle at work. Those seats were close behind the Brewer's dug out and we got a complementary parking pass right next to the stadium. I brought my dad, sister and brother-in-law and they were all "geeking out" as my brother would say. Yes, my family gets super excited over the little things, it's what makes us so endearing.

Speaking of Geeking Out: I saw Persepolis, which I wasn't even aware was being made into a movie until shortly before the Academy Awards. I saw the English dubbed version. So good...I highly recommend it.

And Now I Hate Spring

2008-03-24T14:13:00.005-05:00

This is what greeted the first full day of spring in 2008 for Milwaukee. Wooo!

This is what Ian and Lainie think about the snow:

Shock and Snickers.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

2008-03-24T13:43:00.001-05:00

So lately, I have been telling this little story to whoever will listen to me. I just can't seem to wrap it around my head, and also why I am so affected by it. I was talking with a co-worker (I think we were talking about appearance at work) and she had mentioned to me that I looked "wholesome." If someone had taken a picture of me at the exact moment that word was uttered, they would have the perfect expression for WTF?.

I don't look wholesome! I wear holey jeans and ratty shoes! I have a mean-don't-mess-with-me scowl! I drink and swear like a sailor! I have tattooes! Isn't that the antithesis of wholesome?

Wholesome is defined, according to dictionary.com, as:
whole·some
–adjective
1. conducive to moral or general well-being; salutary; beneficial: wholesome recreation; wholesome environment.
2. conducive to bodily health; healthful; salubrious: wholesome food; wholesome air; wholesome exercise.
3. suggestive of physical or moral health, esp. in appearance.
4. healthy or sound.

And here is what thersaurus.com says:
Main Entry: wholesome
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: healthy
Synonyms: all there, beneficial, clean, decent, edifying, ethical, exemplary, fit, good, hale, health-giving, healthful, helpful, honorable, hygienic, innocent, invigorating, moral, nice, normal, nourishing, nutritious, nutritive, pure, respectable, restorative, right, righteous, safe, salubrious, salutary, sane, sanitary, sound, strengthening, together, virtuous, well, worthy

This doesn't sound bad does it? So what is my problem? Why do I fight being defined as wholesome? I guess for me when I think wholesome I think innocent, naive, pure. I would rather be seen as worldly, experienced (and not in THAT way), and realistic. Hey, I even would rather be definied as cynical and jaded.

But, in reality, I am just kidding myself. I like to spend, what others may see as too many, weekends home visiting my family. I like websites devoted to cute animal pictures. Babies make me smile and talk in an annoyingly high voice. Shows like Extreme Home Makeover make me cry (and if you tell anyone, I will kick your ass...ok, no I won't). I find myself smiling at strangers. Yes, I am more wholesome than I want to admit.

Introducing my nephew Ian James

2008-03-02T11:07:00.006-06:00

So one of his auntie's on his mama's side is a professional photographer (you can see her work here) so he is going to be photographed well his entire life:

And, a picture that I took (just to compare the good from the bad):

I HATE WINTER!

2008-03-02T10:43:00.005-06:00

These are put in chronological order.

And yet, these photos don't even start to touch the root of my hate. I'm looking forward to spring.

Warm Fuzzy Feeling of Grandma

2008-02-16T09:55:00.002-06:00

When I was young, my brothers and sister and I would routinely go over to our grandma and grandpa's house. They would watch us while our parents worked or ran errands. All of us remember this with fond memories. We each remembered something different about the experience.

Michael would remember going over their to watch Lost in Space and Land of the Lost on cable (which we didn't have at our own home at the time). My other siblings would remember things like, grandma letting us have the sugar cubes that she used for her coffee. Or playing with her massive amount of knick-knacks (is that how you spell it?) or jewelery (she would wear a ring on each finger). But my memory was special.

Yes, I used to help my grandma roll her cigarettes. Not manually. No, grandma had a specail cigarette roller. I still remember pulling up a chair next to grandma. She would take out the rolling machine and her big coffee container-turned-tobacco-holder. I still don't remember exactly what my job was, but I have faint memories of the taste of rolling papers (and that memory would not be from recent memories), so it might have been my job to lick the paper. Perhaps I didn't have a job, and Grandma just told me I was helping to make me happy.

When I recently revealed this memory to my family we both ended up a little surprised. They were surprised because
A: None of them remember helping her with that task
B: They never heard about it until right then
C: It was kind of a weird "Good" memory to have
And I was surprised that
A: No one else helped her
B: I never talked about it until then
C: It was, in fact, a weird memory to have and enjoy

Then it kind of made me happy. I had a memory that was so distinct from my other siblings. Maybe that is why I never shared with others. Not because I was ashamed of it but because I wanted it to be my own. Sure, it is a complete bizarre warm, fuzzy memory to have but you would have to know my grandma to know why the memory is funny and cute at the same time.

I shall always think of my grandma when I smell stale smoke; when I see gawdy knick-knacks and land ornaments; when I pass by small little frail bodies that you have to lean down to hug; and when I see my mom look at her grandchildren with loving and adoring eyes. I can only hope that Lainie and Ian love my mom as much as I loved and love my Grandma.

My Very First Nephew...I Shall Call Him Tino

2008-02-14T23:47:00.002-06:00

But really his name is Ian James. Melody, my sister-in-law, went into labor early this morning. I went to work, knowing that it would take a while, and that it would be hard to travel home due to yet another snow storm. Yet I still drove despite less than adequate road conditions to be with my family, my brother and sister-in-law and my new little nephew.

Unfortunately I can't share photos, because I forgot my USB cord. I shall save that for another day, another post.

Little Ian has blonde hair, which is totally odd for my side of the family as all the babies were born with dark hair. Who knows, he might grow out of it. He was 22inches and 8lbs and 1 oz. 5 days past the due date. On Valentine's on less. I like to think that Melody had this all planned out. She is such a romantic. Or maybe it was Ian's idea. He knew as an adult, he had to have a way to remember Valentine's. I have decided to call him Tino, short for Valentino. He looks more like a Tino anyway.

A quick note about the crazy ride home. Milwaukee to Sheboygan is about a little more than 60 miles so it takes about an hour at most to get back home usually. Well it took me two hours to get home today (35mph on the Freeway? Oh yeah). Family at the hospital knew that I left right after work so after a while people got worried. My mom and sister both called me and I didn't answer (I honestly didn't get any "Missed" calls even though their phones have "Outgoing" calls to me). My brother-in-law was about to drive to make sure I wasn't in a ditch. My sister, according to my mother, was almost crying. And my brother was worried, according to my mother, because he didn't want me to be hurt because I was coming home to see his baby. It turned out the last time they called me, I was sitting in the room with Melody, holding Ian. I wasn't in a ditch.

To conclude: If need be: my family will re-populate the earth.

Still Alive and Without the Internet and Now Addicted to Rockband

2008-02-10T16:45:00.000-06:00

Not much has happened since I last blogged. I'm still working and loving the job. Its really surprising, because initially going into my position, I didn't understand the workings of association management companies. Now, I am thinking about how this job can benefit me longterm. It's exciting and kind of scary. Scary only because when I think of longterm anything, it scares me. I'm a bit of a commitment-phobe.

Currently, I'm early waiting the arrival of my brother and sister-in-law's first baby...my first nephew. I actually came home to Sheboygan because I was convinced that this was THE WEEKEND. However, it didn't happen. I feel bad for Melody, my sister-in-law. Everyone around her was so sure that she was going to deliver really early, and here it is a day after her due date.

When I first saw her this weekend, I asked her how she was doing, she just looked at me and sighed deeply while every so slightly rolling her eyes. She then went into how she can't sleep because it is too uncomfortable. Makes me stand even firmer on the stance of me NEVER having babies. I'm way to selfish to give up my body for someone else to feed off of for 9+ months.

Offhand, I just have to say that it feels weird to "surf" the internet now. After checking my email, facebook and myspace, I don't really know what else to do. I am acutally liking this new found freedom. For serious, I thought I was getting addicted to the internet for awhile. Its nice not having to rely so heavily on something.

Speaking of addictions...I just got to play Rockband for the first time this weekend, and HOLY SHIT! Is that stuff awesome. I am probably the worst player ever, but it is still fun. I got to play with my brothers and Melody last night (by the way imagine a heavily pregnant lady playing a tiny guitar resting untop of her stomach...too funny). My dad said that it was humourous to watch 4 young adults get so giddy about a video game. It made him flash back to our even younger years.

Highlights of the Rockband experience:
-The singer doesn't even have to sing really, just hum in pitch. Which is probably why its something I am better at.
-My brother was so focused on "winning fans" that he demoted me from drums to guitar to bass. My mom passed by us and asked me what was wrong, I just frowned and said, "Andy thinks I suck, so he put me on bass."
-My niece Lainie was over while her parents were out for a night at the Milwaukee Symphony. My mom asked me to keep an eye on her while she finished cleaning up. I was practicing my drumming while Lainie was fussing in her exasaucer. I just kept on playing but saying, "What's wrong Laaaaaaaiiiiiiinnniiiieee?" in a funny voice. It was my way of trying to pacify her while still playing. Hey...it worked.
-This morning I woke my mom up because I was rocking out so hard on the drums.
-I have now perfected my "power stance" and high kick while playing the guitar/bass.

I think I may have to visit Sheboygan more often.

My...those are nice fallopian tubes you have

2007-12-23T21:20:00.000-06:00

I hate going out to drink in Sheboygan. There is something about the chance of running into old classmates that makes me want to vomit. But I will go out if there is a special reason. And this past weekend there was two: My sister and brother-in-law actually going out for the first time in a long time and my friend Kim coming home from South Carolina.

Let me explain my friend Kim before I go on. She loves to start conversations with new and random people. Usually she will start with an oddball opening, or trying to convince the people that she is someone that she is not. A good example of this is her telling people that I am a ballerina.

So my mission for the night, was to try out Kim's new pick up line: "Excuse me, but I thought you would like to know that I have really nice fallopian tubes." Normally my reaction to this would be, "Fuck yeah Kim. There is no way I will do that." Unfortunately I am very susceptible to peer pressure, so with Kim, my sister and brother-in-law cheering me on, I spotted some non-threatening guy and decided to try it out. Here's how it went down:

Me: Excuse me guys, but I am going to say something to you and I just want your immediate reaction to it.
Guys: Ok. Go.
Me: Well, I have really nice fallopian tubes.
Guys: *Nervous laugh*
Guy A: No one has ever said that to me before. And I am kind of turned off right now.
Guy B: Besides, you wouldn't know how your fallopian tubes look like. I would know because my mom is a gynecologist.

*some random talking about guy b's mom being a gyno and other pick up lines*

Me: *after some awkward silence and staring at each other* Uhhhh..So, I don't know what else to say. Would you like to hear a joke?
Guys: Yes.

*I tell a dirty joke involving Cinderella and Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater.*

Me: *Immediately following the joke* Yeah! High Five! *I high five both of them*
Guys: *Laugh and look at each other like they think I'm weird*
Guy A: Ok, so what are you drinking because I'm buying?

Yeah...that's right. That line got me not only one free drink, but two.

Reason #1234, Why I'd be a Horrible Mother

2007-12-01T10:49:00.000-06:00

This past Thanksgiving weekend I was back home in Sheboygan with my family celebrating my little cousin's 4 year old birthday (isn't that crazy that I have cousins that are over 20 years younger than me?). Her 6ish year old brother tells all of us that he has a Ryan Braun baseball card.

I say to him, "Really? That's awesome! You have a Ryan Braun rookie card?" The surprising thing is I said it without a hint of sarcasm, because A) He's 6 and doesn't understand sarcasm and B) I actually really, really like Ryan Braun.

My cousin got all excited and ran over to me with his little box of baseball ball cards. He shuffles through them and shows me a Ryan Braun card. Just not the Milwaukee Brewer Ryan Braun.

Instead of saying, "Whoa, that's way awesome Brandon." I say, "That's not THE Ryan Braun!"

Right after I say this, I see his little face look so dejected and I feel like crap for not being nicer about it. I did ask him if he had any more cool cards, and he showed me a Corey Hart card. Still awesome, which I let him know.

To make up for it even more, I play Life with him and his older sister. Then comes Reason #1235 why I would be a horrible mother, the entire time I was playing I was thinking, "Come on, let's make this snappy. I got to get back to Milwaukee and get drunk."

Rules of Riding the City Bus

2007-11-21T23:10:00.000-06:00

I can't and don't want to drive to work. This is because parking on the street is out of the option (no room) and parking in the reserved structure would cost me nearly 60 bucks a month (on top of any parking I would pay for street/apartment parking). Plus I hate driving (even if it is a short distance). So instead of taking my companies discounted parking pass, I opted for taking the discounted bus pass (which I can use at anytime, even if it isn't work related).

When I was a kid, I took the bus every where. But riding the bus as a kid in a small city (with either of your parents with your) and riding as an adult female by herself in a city 10x the size of her hometown, are two entirely different kids. Here are the rules I have set for riding the bus in Milwaukee:

1. Have your money/pass ready upon entering the bus. Only doucebags hold up the bus by rummaging through their purse/bag/pockets for spare change.

2. If there are open benches, sit in an empty one as opposed to sitting right next to someone. This makes the person feel uncomfortable.

3. Wear earphones so that there is minimum interacting with other bus patrons. Also stare off to space and never make eye contact.

4. Don't sit in the handicap seats unless necessary. Also get your ass up if you see a senior citizen enter and there is no other sitting area. Your young legs can handle standing.

5. Be polite to the driver.

6. If bus is full, don't use the seat next to you for your bag, legs, hat etc. Allow someone to sit next to you. Once they are next to you, act as though they don't exist.

7. If person around you has distinct odor (ie. excess BO or cologne) act like you don't smell it. Its the polite thing to do.

To sum up. Be fast, efficient, polite and mind your own business.

Another quick story, while waiting for the bus one morning I witnessed a squirrel get run over by a car. It was surprisingly upsetting. I was shocked when I first saw it. I kind of looked like this:

OK. The story was true, but it was an excuse to post an adorable picture.

I'm Alive and Well

2007-11-11T17:57:00.000-06:00

I'm also living Internet-less in Milwaukee. That's why I haven't written anything in here, and most likely won't again. At least not for awhile.

Things are going extraordinarily well. I have a tiny little efficiency on the east side. The job is going well. In fact two weekends ago I had my first business trip (to Worcester, MA) with the new job. I didn't really have to do much, because I was and am still learning but it was nice to see the process of the organization. Plus it was good bonding time with my co-workers and the software guys we work with. Let's just say there was a lot of talk about zombie movies, video games and other nerdy stuff. It was awesome.

You know what else is nice? Having a job and constant source of income.

I have nothing else of interest to say. Obviously being content with my life has made all the stories go away. Give it a few months (and easier access to the Internet) and I may be back with my complaining and hating.

Yeah, that's right...trust me with your 4-month old daughter...for an entire weekend!

2007-10-01T22:13:00.000-05:00

My sister and her husband went on their one-year anniversary weekend get-away. They asked me to watch their daughter Lainie (since I live with them, and they didn't want her to be in a different environment). As it turned out, I didn't even really have to watch her by myself for that long.

I was suppose to start Friday after work. However I got a call from my brother Thursday night asking me to go to the Brewer's game with him on Friday night. I love me some Brewer's, so once I found out my mom was watching the baby, I said sure.

Here's the summary of the game. The Bratwurst won:

A girl wore socks with sandals:

I got myself my first Brewer's Bobblehead. Don Money:
The Brewer's lost, thus closing any chance at the playoffs:

It's ok Andy, they are a young team, there is always next year.

By the time I got home, Lainie was already asleep. My parents left, I turned on the monitor and went to sleep at around midnight. Lainie woke up at 6am, I played with her like a dazed, sleepless zombie and she was back down for her routine nap at 8:30am. So what did that mean for me? Naptime! Both of us got woken up by my parents who came to get us ready and take us to the Brewer's game (once again)! This was Lainie's first Brewer's game, so we got her dressed to impress:

Of course everyone thought she looked like a boy. As I was walking with her up the stairs, a man said, "Aw looks. He's going to be quite the slugger." I responded with, "Yes. Yes, SHE is."

So, our seats weren't the best. And by not he best, I mean were were in the last row we could possibly be in. But we still had fun:

Mostly we had fun because the Brewer's won, thus sealing a winning season. Hey, beggars can't be choosers. Oh, and the Italian Sausage won, no picture for this one.

That night, my parents stayed until Lainie fell asleep (it was my turn to do it this time). We all marveled at how well behaved she was the whole weekend. My parents left around 10, and I went to sleep shortly afterward. I woke up at around midnight to Lainie crying. As I walked down the hallway, I noticed that the door was open. My sister's cat, Iggy, had knocked open the door. When I walked into the room, I saw Iggy trying hard to cuddle up to Lainie, and she not taking any of it. Not only is Iggy a cuddle slut:

but he adores Lainie. I yelled at him, she got out, I soothed Lainie back to sleep.

Because she doesn't understand sleeping in on the weekends, she got up at 6 once again on Sunday. I groggily talked and played with her. This time she didn't take a nap (she was about to, until her mommy awoke her with a phone call informing me that she was coming home). When her parents came home, I stayed up long enough to inform them of her (and my) weekend and watch Brett Favre get his record breaking touchdown pass, before I passed out myself.

Overall, exhausting weekend, and I am still sure that I don't want kids (I like my sleep WAAAAAY too much). It was too hard, and I barely even really watched her. I'll just adore my niece and all future nieces and nephews:

I Got an Extra Bounce In My Step!

2007-09-14T20:23:00.000-05:00

Normally I hate the start of fall. The sky gets greyer, the weather colder, its the same season that my grandma passed away. In general, its the time I start to get sad and gloomy, but suprisingly, I am not even close to that. Nothing is keeping me down from this high I'm on. I don't know what it is, besides starting a new job, but I am just so happy with my life right now.

I think the ultimate test was yesterday. It was "Date Night" in Sheboygan Falls. Couples were walking around downtown, going to bars, getting carriage rides, holding hands. Normally this would have me buh-hum-bugging all day. But, to my surprise, it actually made me smile...even more than I already was! I'm like the Grinch, and my heart is growing three sizes too big.

I catch myself doing a tiny happy dance while I'm standing in place (of course not when other people are looking, I don't want to embarrass myself). I just feel like squeeling, "WEEEEEEE."

BTW: I Google Imaged the term "happy dance" and found this from this website

Yeah...that's how I feel.

I Think I Have Another Movie to Add to My Favorites List

2007-09-09T21:51:00.000-05:00

My sister told me that she was watching Little Manhattan on one of the several different movie channel she has, and that she liked it a lot. She told me that I should watch it too, that I would like it. When she told me the plot, kid is experiencing his parent's divorce and falling in love with a girl at the same time, and I thought it didn't sound that great or interesting.

So, I was wrong. It was one of the most sweetly innocent and funny movies I have seen in a while. I spent about 75% of the movie either giggling or going "awww" without going on a sweetness overload.

I may be going out on a limb here, but I am thinking that it is even sweeter than Amelie (not saying that it is better though). If you haven't seen it yet, you should.

The New Job Experience...So Far

2007-09-08T01:08:00.000-05:00

Well, I just finished my first full week at my new job. The first day I went into work, I was feeling really insecure and nervous, almost as if I was waiting for them to say that they made a terrible mistake in hiring and that they would have to let me go.

I felt I even didn't belong based on my appearance either. I don't own that many business-casual clothes because at my last job, I could essentially wear what I wanted (and was encouraged to do so because it made the residents more at ease with me). All the women my age that work in my building look much better dressed than me, and look like they take more than my usual 10 minutes to get ready. Maybe I should try this make-up and hair brushing thing.

A lot of my job duties include daily administrative assistant stuff. But the most exciting thing is that I get to travel and partake in meetings with doctors/psychologist/nurses/etc. It makes me feel like such a grown-up. My first trip (to Massachusetts) is apparently already coming up in late October.

My co-workers are kinda different than my old co-workers. Before I worked with mostly African American women, now I am working with mostly White men. Luckily, my new co-workers seem that they are going to be just as nice as my last co-workers (they are really helpful and patient in my never-ending question sessions).

Overall, the organization and its mission is quite different from what I have done in the past but it is still fascinating to me. Its refreshing to be trying something new. I will be busy and occupied all the time. Learning a lot about the behavioral medicine field and meeting planning/society management. The position also leads to the high possibility of upward mobility in the company, so things are looking up for me.

Now, I am just counting down the days until I can move back to Milwaukee. This commute is killing me. Lucky for me, not much can bring me down from this personal high.

You know what they should make???

2007-09-08T00:53:00.000-05:00

That is, if they haven't made it already.

...Body pillows built with life-like arms...

Don't think I am weird. I have actually had conversations with a friend about this. Granted, me and the friend I had the conversation with, always end up talking about random things, but I think it is completely reasonable.

What is the purpose of a body pillow? One purpose is that it provides support for hips/back (or bellies, if you are pregnant). Another reason people use body pillows, is to have something to cuddle with. (Totally random, but I hate ending sentences with prepositions, but I am not smart enough to know how to re-word that). But when you are selfish like me, you don't like to be the spoon-er (which you are essentially doing with body pillows)you want to be the spoon-ee. That is when the body pillow with life-like arms. The arms would wrap around you be soft enough to cuddle with. Seems like a good product idea, right?

Or maybe, I'm just sleep deprived.

I...think I...like The Departed?

2007-08-27T18:01:00.000-05:00

Ok, so just seeing the previews for The Departed a year or so back, I totally wrote it off as a stupid crime thriller. Today I walked into my sister watching the movie. She was about 30 minutes into it and told me what had happened so far, and it actually seemed a lot more complex and interesting than I first presumed. So many lies and betrayals, it's like a straight man's soap opera (well, after professional wrestling, I should say).

However, because I started watching it 30 minutes in, and because so many people were revealed as "rats" (also, I wasn't really paying attention to names or faces of the minor characters) I ended up being a little confused at the end. Which is weird because it doesn't seem like a confusing movie. I wasn't confused by Usual Suspects, which so many people thought was confusing. If I re-watched it from the beginning, I think I would appreciate it more.

So, when The Departed won the Oscar for Best Motion Picture, I didn't get it. Now, I can kind of sort of get it. Kudos Scorsese.

Woot!

2007-08-24T21:30:00.000-05:00

Today I accepted a job offer. I shall be working in Milwaukee once again. I am very happy but stressed once again. Should I just commute for awhile? Should I quickly find a place to live? How will transporation work for me? What about parking (I'm working downtown Milwaukee)? But I am trying not to let the stress of all the minor details get me down. Right now I am all about the new job glee (money money money).

Since I am working downtown Milwaukee, it means that the job is much fancier than my last job. Which means I have to buy new clothes, because I don't own much office wear. My old job was more of a casual "hey-don't-mind-me-I'm-one-of-you" feel to it. The office I am working in is way fancy. And I shall have a way fancy view of the Milwaukee skyline. I know that in a few months I won't be saying it, but right now I am only saying....YIPPEEE!

This week I also chopped off my hair. It is about 12 inches shorter. I felt that there was so much change and chaos happening in my life, it was time to start a new. The day after my hair cut, I got the job offer! It's like good luck. The bad thing about the cut is that I am not feeling it. It has this weird ability to make me look like a 40-year-old soccer mom and a 5-year-old school girl...all at the same time. The good thing about it is that it dries faster, and since I am not a huge fan of brushing my hair, I don't get nasty snarly hair or rat's nests.

Lastly, this weekend my little brother is getting married. The youngins grow so fast!

Ah, it's a sunshine day!

This be my life for now

2007-08-17T22:54:00.000-05:00

So it's official, and has been for four days now. I no longer reside in Milwaukee. I am now living with my sister in Sheboygan Falls, like a true bum do. When the person that came in to see my apartment wanted to move in early, I was told that I would be refunded for half of August rent. So I was all like, "Money? Sweet! Will do." So I totally used and abused my family by telling them that they had to move me out by the 13th. Now all my possessions are either in my sister's basement or in her office (which is now acting as my bedroom/her office).

I figured that my future is all up in the air right now, it was best to find a place that was "rent free" (I am paying her to let me stay, but a small amount) so that I could save up money and find work without having to worry about finding extra cash for a security deposit/first month rent for a new place in Milwaukee. So this is not a permanent move. Ideally, I will be back in Milwaukee within a year, at the max. But even then, Sheboygan, and its surrounding areas, have their way of getting their evil claws in you. If I follow trend, I will end up knocked up within the year.

Oddly enough, and not so odd as this type of crap always happens to me, the very next day after my move to Sheboygan Falls, I got a call from a job I applied for in Milwaukee. They wanted me to come in for an interview. My brother-in-law (who did all of the major physical move) just kind of rolled his eyes and responded with, "Oh great. If you get this does this mean we will have to move you in somewhere in Milwaukee by the first?" This of course made me feel really guilty to even go in for the interview, but I did any way, of course.

The interview went really well, at least that is my hopeful thoughts on it. The executive director seemed to be almost guiding me into the "right" answers. The building was located downtown on the 11th floor of a big building, so it felt way fancier than my last job. I like to think I charmed the pants off of those interviewers. We'll see how it turns out. As one of my college mentors said to me, "High hopes, low expectations!" or...was it the other way round?

As for now, I continue my job search (expanding it to the Sheboygan area) and enjoy the time with my family. I am especially enjoying the time with my 3 month old niece. I like to have conversations with her, about when the time comes that I shall be watching her, there shall be no crying or fussing. Or as I simply told her, "There is no crying on Auntie Hollie time." Her response is to stare at me and drool (and every once in a while add a "Guuuuurrrrcccchhllll").

Lastly, if you haven't already, go see Superbad. It is hilarious. If CM hasn't already called dibs, Michael Cera would totally be my pretend boyfriend.

Who has been having some bad luck lately? Oh yeah, that would be me.

2007-08-07T16:25:00.000-05:00

I'll admit, some of the "bad luck" has been partially my fault (not giving ample notice to my landlord that I was moving thus ending in me paying for September rent plus 10% increase) but everything else has been just bad situation after another bad situation.

First I lose my job, two months before my lease for my apartment ends. Horrible timing for job and apartment hunting (both which are sucking...a lot).

Getting denied weeks of unemployment, for mistakes on my old job's part.

Getting big bill one after the other.

And now my car. The brakes have decided to stop working today. Tomorrow I had two appointments which were basically one after the other at different points in Milwaukee. I won't be able to get my car back until the day after tomorrow (with a hefty bill, may I add). So I have to cancel one of them and take the bus to the other appointment.

And as I write this, I have someone looking at my apartment and wondering if I could leave earlier. I'm so desperate for someone to rent it out, that I said I would think about it.

All these things are not horrible, just extremely inconvenient. Don't worry, I am just waiting for the day that I am told I have some incurable disease.

Brewer's Baseball Basics for Women

2007-08-01T22:23:00.000-05:00

This is an actually class that is being taught in Milwaukee. My head hangs in shame. "For Women?" Please. It should not be limited to just women. I know a few idiot men who don't get baseball either. But from the description of the class, it seems pretty sweet. Perhaps I shall play dumb and join the class.

"Um, what do you call it when that person with the bat hits that white thing up in the air, and it only stays in the brown sand area...you know like it doesn't go further out to the green area...what happens then? I know its called something because my big bo-hunky boyfriend that knows everything about sports always has to remind me of that rule. That guy with the bat gets, like, a touchdown right?"

At least the person teaching the class is a woman. The title of the class still sounds demeaning.

Purging and strong handshakes

2007-07-31T22:16:00.000-05:00

So I gave my apartment's on-site manager my notice that I would be moving. A few days later he told me that he would be bringing people in to view my apartment. Upon hearing this I let out a silent yelp and began my race to clean my place and make it look presentable. The activities included massive scrub down of my entire bathroom, kitchen floor, oven/stove-top and refrigerator, vacuuming, dusting, and cleaning out my closets.

While cleaning and organizing my closets, I decided that now was the best time to get rid of stuff I don't wear or don't need anymore. In Public Allies we were told that it was good to go through your possessions and get rid of those things you no longer need. "Purge" yourself of the "dead weight." Other examples of purging dead weight included deleting people from your cell phone/e-mail lists, eliminating activities that are unnecessary. I find it hard for me to purge. I am more of a binge person(aka pack rat).

I ended up giving four pretty big shopping bags full of clothes and shoes (I haven't started going through other belongings yet). I don't feel like I have gotten rid of dead weight. In fact I am already feeling a little nostalgic of my long-ago belongings.

So after that was over, I waited for the three potential tenants to come (I could've left to go somewhere else, as not to be intrusive, but I had this weird fascination to see who could potentially rent out my apartment). Two of the people didn't show up, but one did. When he came in with the on-site manager, he looked a little surprised to see someone inside. He greeted me warmly and shook my hand firmly. It took every effort I had not to make the yaaah-owwww!!!! face.

He seemed semi to somewhat interested in the apartment. I talked it up. Told him how quiet it was, how I never had problems with my car being parked outside, how there was a police substation down the street and a bunch of older college students living around so it was mellow. He seemed to appreciate my input and even went in for a handshake goodbye. I tentatively gave my hand with a grimace. He should have known better, I am a delicate flower.

If you are anything like me...

2007-07-28T18:43:00.001-05:00

not only will you get this song stuck in your head for the rest of the day, but you will like it too.

You'lll probably have to watch this more than once

2007-07-28T14:43:00.001-05:00

At first I was bored, and then I laughed and watched it again.

Thoughts while watching the YouTube Democratic Presidential Canidate Debate

2007-07-24T11:17:00.000-05:00

Wow...Bill Richardson looks like that guy from Amelie (whose name is Urbain Cancelier, he played the part of Collignon, the mean market guy):

And that is pretty much it. I didn't have any other thoughts. At least nothing interesting.

Hmm, this doesn't remind me of anyone in particular...

2007-07-18T12:49:00.001-05:00

You can click on it to expand it. This is today's Fart Party. This may be how I interact with my friends. I'm really good at keeping in contact with people.

Still Swimming and Looking for a Job

2007-07-14T17:29:00.000-05:00

So I have received my first unemployment check in the mail yesterday. As a child, I never thought that I would ever say that. My future seemed so idealized as a kid. I didn't really know what I wanted to do as a child, but I knew no matter what I ended up doing, that I would be super successful. I wish I could go back to my childhood and still believe that.

When I am not being gloomy about my situation, job hunting, cover letter writing etc. I like to find ways to keep me busy. CM has introduced me to a Firefox application called Stumbled Upon. It introduces you to a bunch of random sites that are time wasters. Such as this: Bubble Wrap!

Good Times.

I still heart Demetri Martin

2007-07-12T18:36:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I want to Crush Heads.

2007-07-11T22:39:00.001-05:00

Come on. Please tell me that you did not do the Kids in the Hall Head Crusher routine. "I'm crushing your head. Crush, crush."

"I love you more that hamburger cheese store."

2007-07-02T23:16:00.000-05:00

This was a quote was stated many times by my brother Andy when he was little. Lately my mom has been saying it to my sister's baby. I love her more than hamburger cheese store too.

Today was my first official day unemployed. I hate it. What am I going to do that I cannot even stand being one day without work? Halfway through my day I decided to come early to my parents house to celebrate the Fourth of July. I get antsy easily.

While spending some quality time with my family tonight, I read some Pop-Trivial Pursuit questions to my brothers and dad. My brother Michael gave some unintentionally and intentionally funny answers.

Q: What Dallas star was the only actor to win an Emmy award?
A: Deion Sanders. (He wasn't joking here)

Q: What was the name of the diet book written by (some author I forgot) that used recipes consisting of pineapple, mangoes (some other tropical fruit)?
A: Who has to go poop? (He was joking here)

My family makes me laugh.

My niece looks like...

2007-06-29T23:41:00.000-05:00

Me. Here is a picture of her, and a picture of me as a baby inside it:

But I have also realized that she looks like Mac from Mac and Me:

So does that mean?:

I can see it.

How did I never see this article before?

2007-06-27T11:20:00.000-05:00

50 Greatest Conservative Rock Songs

This list is some funny stuff. I really like the author's explanations on song choices. I wish I could be creative enough to come up with this kind of stuff.

The number one choice being "Won't Get Fooled Again" is hilarious to me. I always took it as a song that was anti-leader because all structures (liberal AND conservatives) are corrupt. In reality, the song is fatalistic. Anyone in power, is bound to be corrupt.

Other hilarious additions:

"Sweet Home Alabama," A song promoting Wallace, can be all yours.

"Wouldn't It Be Nice,"

"Janie's Got a Gun,"

Creed? Ew.

"Godzilla"

And where oh where is the Toby Keith song about putting a boot in someone or other's buttocks?

Seriously, just read the article for an example of poor journalism. I seriously wish I found this earlier.

Cutest-slash-scariest thing I have seen in a while...

2007-06-25T14:13:00.001-05:00

Children like this scare the crap out of me.

"How you doing sweetheart?"

2007-06-22T09:00:00.000-05:00

Normally I hate it when I am called sweetheart/baby/honey etc. by anybody, especially someone I don't even know. It makes me want to punch some faces. Maybe I took one too many woman studies classes/read too many feminist books, but I find those terms demeaning. I even tell my dad not to use those words on young women, even though he thinks it is a nice, personable thing to say. I just tell him, "No."

However, there is one person (outside friends and family) that I allow to call me sweetheart. That is "J", a tenant at my workplace. He is a young man with cognitive disabilities. Very sweet. He is one of a few tenants that automatically says hello and starts conversations with me, without getting accusatory or defensive. Yesterday he made my already good day. Here was our short conversation:

*Me walking towards my car. "J" and his mother walking to their apartment.*

J spots me: How you doing sweetheart?
Me: Good. How about you?
J: Good...You look real pretty today.
Me stopping: Aw. Thanks a lot.

I always need positive reinforcement, especially when it comes to my looks. The day was even made better, as when I got home I got my first call back for a job interview. Holler! Its always the "little" things that make me happy/excited.

A Bush Veto? You don't say!

2007-06-20T13:22:00.000-05:00

Bush vetoed the stem cell bill. What a surprise. Almost as surprising as him vetoing the Iraq withdrawal bill. Or the first time he vetoed a stem cell bill. I don't know why these stories even made the news, as it is more of a "duh" move on his part.

Speaking of the lame duck, some people have made their own music video for Nine Inch Nail's Capital G, using images of Dubya. Trent Reznor has gone on record saying that the subject about the song is actually greed. It could be applied to the president, but that wasn't the intent. Greed and the president seem to go hand in hand, so same difference.

Well I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Traded in my god for this war
He signs his name with a capital G

How I Feel About My Current Job/Money Situation

2007-06-19T09:05:00.000-05:00

Of Which There Is None at This Alleged "Bar"

Technician: It will cost a hundred and fifty dollars to have our technicians look at it.
Girl with computer problem: A hundred and fifty dollars?! No way. I'd rather spend that on alcohol.

--Apple Store Genius Bar

Overheard by: becca

via Overheard in New York, Jun 18, 2007

I was talking to a friend about that. I believe my exact words were, "I know this sounds horrible, but I am kind of pissed that I won't be having extra beer money."

But in all seriousness, today I am feeling really positive. I mean, I haven't gotten any returned phone calls or emails, but I'm in a good mood today. Like, I almost feel something good is coming my way. (As my mom told me, "You should buy a lottery ticket, with all the bad luck you have been having lately, something good is bound to happen.") People in my life and around me have been very upbeat and positive (not only about their own lives and situations but about mine as well---which is the most important part!!!) for the most part anyway. Maybe I am more of an extrovert than I first initially thought. Other people's energy and mood totally does effect my mood and energy.

Or maybe its because I heard Modest Mouse's Float On this morning, and I thought, "You know what, Isaac? I WILL Float On! Thanks for reminding me with you lispy song."

Or maybe its just the weather. The humidity has dropped a lot. It doesn't feel like I am walking through a sauna and its sunny, and not raining. Yes, its a good day!

Random Movie of the 80's that I think I remember liking

2007-06-18T12:38:00.000-05:00

Big Business starring Lily Tomlin and Bette Midler. The two lead actors play a set of twins mismatched at birth who run into each other during a business deal having to do with the rural/poor set of twins' hometown. Hilarity ensues.

The last time I watched this movie was probably in the 80's, but I remember liking it. Granted, I was no more than 8 at the time, but still. How can one go wrong with Bette Midler as an actress? Maybe its just my inner gay man speaking, but...Ruthless People? Yes. Outrageous Fortune? Uh huh. Hocus Pocus? Yup. And Beaches may have made me cry...but I'm not fully admitting that.

Whoa! What?

2007-06-14T11:58:00.000-05:00

Do me a favor and read this article. I don't know how anyone could do that except in the situation of forced physical advances. But rejected advances? Dude, just walk away and think, "His loss." And also, I am not one to question peoples sexual "perversions" but trying to swallow it? Um, ew. People are screwed up in the head.

Whatever Happened to Marueen Flannigan?

2007-06-13T11:43:00.000-05:00

You know, the girl that played Evie on "Out of this World." Well apparently, she is still acting on a bunch of shows. You know, those shows that every working actor in Hollywood is on. Oh well, at least she's doing something.

"Out of this World," was one of my favorite shows. I really don't know why it was, take a look at the plot description from wikipedia:

The series revolves around Evie Garland, a young girl living in Marlowe, California, who discovers on her thirteenth birthday that her father isn't a secret agent, as her mother had always told her. In fact, her father is an alien named Troy, from the planet Anterias, who married her mother and "merged lifeforms" to create Evie. Evie's half-alien heritage allows her to use supernatural abilities, which her father can give and take away at will. Most of the episodes revolve around Evie misusing her powers and causing some trouble, which she spends the rest of the show trying to fix.

Weird ass shows ruled the 80's. I mean: ALF, Harry and the Hendersons (ok, this was early 90's), Small Wonder, Growing Pains. Ah, I miss quality programming.

Questions

2007-06-10T00:45:00.000-05:00

I really like random questions. If I ever became famous, and I had to do interviews, I would love it when interviewers would ask "off the wall" questions. While browsing around YouTube, I found this woman named Juliana Luecking who is doing a project called, "People are a Trip." Basically, she asks people a question and then records their answers. Some answers are silly, some are bizarre, some are way deep. This is what I would say, to a select group of her questions:

"What is your favorite part of the day?"

The moment right before you fall asleep. You can almost feel yourself relax, and forget about the stress of the day. It's a very comforting feeling.

"What is one thing you know is true?"

That, right at this very moment, there is someone that is thinking of me.

"If you were in charge of the country, what would you do?"

Universal health care, equal opportunities (especially for education and work) for everyone, increased sexual education and STD and HIV/Aids awareness prevention, allowing the people to have more of say in the running of their country etc. etc. etc.

"Why do nations go to war?"

Misunderstandings and lack of discourse

"What is marriage?"

Ideally: a union between two committed individuals to show their love and devotion to one another
Realistically: governmental contract (between ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN) that allows for some financial benefits that will most likely eventually lead to divorce.

"What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"

The answer is always changing but right now, it is this:

"What would you change in the world?"

I would make everyone be accepting of everyone's appearance, beliefs, thoughts and loves. Put in other words, I would rid the world of ignorance and close minded thinking.

"What kind of music do you like?"

The booty shaking kind.

Somewhere out there, there is someone weird like me

2007-06-07T10:35:00.000-05:00

Look at It, Sitting There in That Box, Plotting, Plotting...
Man: Styrofoam... Just thinking of it sends chills up and down my spine. Man, I hate that stuff.
Overheard by: aaron

via Overheard Everywhere, Apr 15, 2007

I know how that man feels. I really like that website, and the other ones included in the header (Overheard in New York, Overheard at the Beach, Overheard in the office). It reminds me of stupid conversations I have had with my friends, which is overheard by someone standing by, would be totally misconstrued and/or thought of as nuts.

I found this through a link of a web page my friend sent me. That website is also awesome, probably because I love passive aggression. I think it is funny, and I unfortunately am guilty of it on more than one occasion.

Other links from that website:

Ban Comic Sans - I don't get the hate of the use of Comic Sans, but then again, I am not a tech geek.

My Crazy Roommate - I don't know, he sounds kind of randomly funny to me. Uh, I think I know too many people that are like that.

I'm just trying to find ways to distract myself from work and the job hunt, as when I do any other the latter, I tense up and feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. That's when I call the Mom, and she reassures me that everything will work out and that this is not the end of the world. I wish I could clone and shrink my mom, then I could carry around on my shoulder as that little voice that always tells me how good I am.

So far I have sent in a resume and cover letter for one position and filled out an online application for another. I don't feel to confident about either one, but as one of my former advisers recently told me in an email, take on the philosophy of, "High hopes, low expectations!" He, and so many other family and friends have been very encouraging. I'm really lucky to have so many people in my cheering section.

Girl Crush: Piper Weiss

2007-06-05T14:25:00.000-05:00

I really have no idea who this woman is, but I love her. So all it takes for me to have a crush on you, is one well written article. Seriously, its like she got in my head, stole all my opinions (well, my opinions on pop culture) and then wrote it down more eloquently then I could ever do.

Who totally just lost their job?

2007-06-04T20:02:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah, that would be me. I guess the bright side of this was that I wasn't fired, I was "let go" due to budgeting constraints. They actually wanted to keep me on. This is the first time I am acutally job hunting. Before this I was either in college, or working with Public Allies (which I kind of lucked into)and then was hired on to the organization I was placed at. I have been lucky so far.

I'm trying really hard to be positive while in this whole mess. Like I said, I haven't had a period where I wasn't employed or in school. Coming out of this job, I have great references and experience (which may be a negative in that I may be "over qualified" for positions I want to get.

The negatives, I have zero cushion money so getting a job is necessary almost immediately. If I don't get a full time job, I may have to resort to moving back to Sheboygan after my lease ends (I love my family but...PLEASE GOD NO!!!). At the present time, my car is acting up, and my tire has a buldge and looks ready to explode. Its like one bad thing happens after the next. (The optimist in me says, at least they are not life-ending tragedies). So at this time, I am looking through job posting with my blurred-tear-soaked eyes.

An inside: As I wrote this there was breaking news about a plane crash into Lake Michigan with a high likelihood of 6 fatalities, further proof that I should quit my whining and count my blessings.

Why do the Japanese rule at everything?

2007-06-01T13:28:00.001-05:00

Recently I have been introduced to many new things that have come from Japan. This commercial is one of them. I love that they have no qualms about the promotion of childhood beer drinking. It only would have been more awesome if one of the kids was doing a beer bong.

Other Japanese imports I was introduced to: Wild Zero (Michael, if you are reading this, you must watch this movie) and Ninja Warrior.

Now that I think about it, I know the answer to my question. The Japanese rule because they know how to do cheesy.

I love socially awkward kids

2007-05-31T21:51:00.001-05:00

That is why I love watching Scribb's National Spelling Bee. In honor of today's event, I give you the Bee's best winner: Rebecca Sealfon. You know what else is great about this competition? Fainting kids.

The benefits of being a pack rat

2007-05-29T21:41:00.000-05:00

I have a problem with not being able to throw things away. Stupid
little rewards, notes, gag gifts...I keep them all. This even started
at a young age, around 10-11 years old. Just recently I picked up a
scrapbook, and other boxes I kept in my mother's apartment, and started
to look through them. What I found were pages and pages of
certifications of achievement, notes I passed around with my best
friend Jamie (who is still very much close to me), birthday cards,
report cards and papers I wrote in high school. I am glad I kept those
papers, it is fun to see how I wrote at the age. Sometimes I look at
those papers and wonder how I was an "A"ish student. One paper I kept, and the comment a teacher made on it, seemed to stand out for me.

It was a paper on Love that I wrote for my Honors Psychology class. I had
to observe a couple, and talk about their interactions and then do an assessment
on how relationships work. Here was my concluding sentence, "Those who
do break up don't do so because there is something wrong with the
relationship, it's because they weren't meant to be together." My
teacher commented afterward, "How Fatalistic." I don't remember being
amused by it then, but I giggled when I re-read it as an adult.

Tales of a Gym Class Loser

2007-05-24T15:42:00.000-05:00

I have never been good at athletics. Well except for maybe when I was a young child but aren't all young children athletic in some way or form. I can tell you one thing that I was never: graceful. There are pictures of a 5ish old me at my gymnastics class to prove that. It was around middle school that I lost an resemblance of that child "athlete" in me. So what did people like me hate in high school? Gym.

We had to take gym, it was mandatory (not all 4 years, thank god). My freshman year the gym class was divided into boys and girls. The vaginas would do synchronized swimming, archery, scooter games, field hockey etc. The penises (what is the plural form of penis anyway?) would play flag football, basketball, weight trainings. Any undetermined genital did not exist in my school, as far as I knew.

My sophomore year, that is when the gym classes were integrated, and instead separated into Gym "A" (the old "boys" curriculum) and Gym "B" (the old "girls" curriculum). It might be surprising to find out that I went ahead and enrolled myself in Gym A. I don't really know why. Maybe I felt like I had something to prove.

It was horrendous. The girls that were in the class with me were the athletic popular girls, that for the most part hated or ignored me and the guys just hated me for sucking at every activity we participated in. I take that back, the guys did not hate me if I was not "forced" to be their partner or on their team (which by the way, the teacher was decent enough not to have people pick teams, which I am sure I would be next to last chosen). You know the teacher did do once? He once made a list of the best bad mitten players to the worst. Then he made double teams. The bestest player went with the worstest player. My partner, who was good, always stole the birdie from me and would yell at me for missing shots. Good times.

I did have one shining moments. It was during our flag football section. We were split into two teams, everyone was on the field playing, my team was offense. I was just told to run ahead, try not to attempt to block/run after anyone...just stay out of the way. Then one play, the quarterback (who was actual a star varsity basketball player) was looking around for an open player, the only one being me. We looked at each other and a nonverbal understanding was made...I had to catch it. I outstretched my hands and closed my eyes as I saw him release the ball. Next thing I knew I was cradling the ball the same was Baby was cradling the watermelon on Dirty Dancing. I took a split second to smile at my accomplishment, before jetting it towards the endzone. I only got about 10-15 yards, but still...I totally caught it! As I headed back to the huddle, I was greeted by high fives. I know this goes against my "I hate everyone attitude" but I enjoyed the moment of acceptance.

Ok, so I take it back, I didn't have just one shining moment. I had that moment, and a entire shining section. That section, being swimming. I was the only swimmer in the entire class (built mostly of athletes...basketball, football, cross country etc). So basically, I kicked everyone's ass. The first string quarterback was stuck in the shallow end learning how to float, because he didn't know how to swim. When we had races, the best of the girls vs. the best of the guys, the guy I swam against, wouldn't even swim the front crawl against me, because he didn't want to get embarrassed. Wussy.

In reality, I was an average swimmer. Well, I didn't really apply myself. Maybe this is why I was not athletic, I didn't have the drive. What I did have was endurance, so I was placed in the distance competitions. A friend of mine has this theory, most people that did distance competitions (running/swimming) in high school were the kids that were slackers, but had good endurance. Personally, I do think this applies to me. After the race had finished, I was never red faced or gasping for breath and while racing I was usually singing a song in my head or thinking of something else that would amuse me for 20 laps of the pool. I think that if I actually drove myself harder, and trained off season, I would have been really really good. As it was already, I as lower rung varsity.

One true thing about swimmers, at least from my point of view, is that they are not runners. I think the best time I ran a mile was 8 minutes and that is when I was at my fittest. Many of my friends, that were also swimmers, agree with me.

Going back to the Gym A experience...I think this led me to have an automatic hate for preppy athletic guys. Subconsciously, I think they will always belittle my lack of athletic abilities. That is why I like to surround myself with nerds and hippies. They don't like sports, at least for the most part they don't.

I even carry this athletic insecurity with me as an adult. One summer when I was a camp ground leader, I was playing kick ball with a bunch of 10 year olds. I was in the outfield, as it was easier for me to get the ball when it rolls away(faster because of my longer legs). One kid kicked a high pop up. I got nervous about catching it but went after it anyway. Luckily I did catch it, and ran up to another kid running to second for a double play. (Yeah, in those 10 year old faces!). My teammates later told me, "Holland! You are REALLY good at kickball." This made me smile, because once again I was accepted as a legit athlete....errr, by little kids.

Way to ruin my entire day, Jerk...

2007-05-22T21:19:00.000-05:00

So, I am driving to the gym when I hear a guy on a motorcycle shouting from behind me. He totally looked like the typical middle aged white suburban guy trying to relive his golden days by riding around on his 'hog.'

I can't hear him, so I ignore him (pretty sure if I did hear him, I would still ignore him regardless of what he was saying). When I pulled to the stop sign, guy pulls up next to me. Here is the conversation...

Guy: You cut me off back there
Me: (Confused because I dorkingly check my blindspots all the time) Sorry.
Guy: You CUT ME OFF!!! (He must of thought I didn't 'get it' the first time)
Me: Listen, have you heard of road rage? I'm not having a good day and I don't feel like dealing with an asshole. (I was serious too, the id in me wanted to back my car up and ram right into him)
Guy: (as I drive off) UGLY CUNT!

[Start of sarcastic statement] Hmmm. Ugly cunt. Original. You know, as a woman, I have never been called that before. [end of sarcastic statement]

This guy seemed like one of those people that thought because he was a man (not just any man...but a man on a motorcycle) he could scare a young girl like me by yelling at me and throwing me stern looks. Not that I am all bite, but I most certainly do not take shit from anyone. However, I do regret calling him an asshole. I should have been the bigger person, and left that one apology as is, and ignored him.

Also, as much as I like to think and say that words don't hurt me, being called a cunt kills me.

Two words to describe watching childbirth: Grotesquely Beautiful

2007-05-18T21:41:00.000-05:00

My niece, Elaine Elizabeth, was born on May 12th and I was there to watch every gruesome moment. It really was beautiful.

It all started one week ago on Friday May 11th. I was on the phone with a friend making plans to go out that night. I wasn't planning on drinking, as I knew that any minute I would get a call from my sister telling me that she was in labor. My friend asked me if I was sure the baby wasn't coming and I said no, not yet. However while I was on the phone, I heard a beep indicating that someone was on the other line. I finished up my call with my friend quickly and checked to see who it was on the other line. It was my sister and her contractions were 30 minutes apart. I called back my friend to cancel plans, ate my dinner, packed my bags and headed up north to Sheboygan.

I met my sister and the family at her house around 9pm. We all went to sleep that night and waited for her contractions to get 5 minutes apart before heading to the hospital. That didn't happen until around 3am on Saturday. Rianna didn't get any sleep because she was busy keeping track (and being distracted by) the contractions. I got about 3 hours of sleep, as did my brother-in-law.

When we got to the hospital, the doctor broke her water right away so that her contractions would come faster and harder. Not to long after that she was put on pitocin to augment the labor (her contractions were not that painful). That is when she really started to feel the labor pains.

At first she stayed with IV medications but soon those were not working out at all, and only took the pain away for about 15 minutes. Around 4pm (being in the hospital for over 12 hours and not getting any sleep for well over 24 hours)Rianna made the decision to get an epidural. At this point she was 4cm dilated and around 80-90% effaced. That decision was hard for her but after the epidural was administered she felt she made the right one, as she was able to nap until she started to push at 6pm.

While she was pushing, the doctor noticed that the baby was coming out face up. So while Rianna was pushing the doctor was also turning the baby around so that she would face downward. It was also around this point that the doctor performed and episiotomy, which was THE GROSSEST part of it all. (All of my hippie, natural birth friends would be shaking their heads right now).

Then the head came out, my brother-in-law was already crying from joy at this point, the rest of us were holding our breath in anticipation on the first cries and finding out the sex. It was a little scary because the umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby's head twice, but I could see her mouth moving. Rianna let out one more good push and the whole baby came out. Daddy was the first one to say, "It's a girl!" Everyone was crying, even me with my cold black heart. Then my little niece started to cry and people ran out to tell everyone waiting in hall the good news.

The nurses cleaned her up, as everyone remarked that she had a good head of hair, and took her measurements (7lbs 9oz and 21 inches long). When her temperature was taken, it was kind of high, but the doctors didn't make a big deal out of it. The rest of the day went as usual, pictures, phone calls and first time to hold the baby.

The next day my family came to the hospital to find that the baby was hooked up to an iv and that they were for sure staying the three days so that Elaine could get a daily dose of antibiotics for her fever (which at that point had reduced to a normal temperature) and high white blood cells. The doctors told everyone that they were just being careful.

The following day, when we came to visit, we found that they had been to moved to a smaller room (called the "almost home" room) compared to the huge-ass birthing room they had before. Also the baby was jaundice, so she had to be put on this blue lighted bed (or pad when she was being breastfed). I know that there is a name for the light but I forget what it was called. The light made her look like a glo-worm. While breastfeeding, Rianna noticed that Elaine felt warm again, so the nurse came in to take the temperature and lo-and-behold another hike in temperature.

That same day, after my mom and I grabbed dinner in the cafeteria, we returned to the hospital room to find my sister in tears and informing us that they were told Elaine had to stay for 7 days. The doctors were concerned that she may (or may not) have a bacterial infection and felt more secure with a 7 day daily dose of antibiotics. The only good thing in the situation, was that because my sister was breastfeeding, she and my brother-in-law were able to stay in the hospital room even though she was no longer officially a patient.

Soon after being told that Elaine would remain in the hospital, my sister was having difficulties getting the baby to latch on to her to feed. This my sister started a mild panic attack. She was having a difficult time breathing and got nauseous. My mom also looked overwhelmed, that is when I told her that I would ask for the rest of the week off of work, so that I could stay with her (to drive her to and from the hospital and help out my sister and brother-in-law as much as I could).

Since then, my sister has been more confident about breastfeeding and kicking visitors out (because with my family, we have oh-so-many) and just the general well-being of Elaine. She got taken off her glo-worm bed, no signs of fevers, white blood cell count are normal and she is a VERY good eater. Best of all, she is being released a day earlier than expected, so she should be home tomorrow, one week after she was born.

Bessie

2007-05-10T21:08:00.000-05:00

When I was young, my family lived in this brown house, that was across the street from two bars, there was a big tree (with swings) in a big backyard, with a poppy tree and chives that grew in around the house. I really liked living in that house, mostly because of the neighbors. There were a lot of kids that my siblings and I would play with and then there was our next door neighbor Bessie.

She was an elderly Jewish woman, who also happened to be our landlord. She was your typical grandmother figure, except older and crankier. My mom would help her run errands and do chores (my family above anything else respects elderly people). I would occassionally go over to Bessie's apartment, she would watch me while my mom was gone or I would just visit, and she would give me and my siblings candy. It wasn't the best candy, kind of like that stale candy that would stick together but hey, I was kid and it was candy. I still remember that her pantry was stocked with sweets. Later in my life, when I would tell my mom about this, she would always shake her head and say, "She wasn't even suppose to have that stuff, she was diabetic."

Other things I remember about her is that her apartment smelled musky and she had "old" furniture and pillows that would vibrate (don't even begin to ask me the purpose of those). She would call me and my siblings over when were playing in the yard, and then she gave us bread crumbs to feed the birds. She called my cousin Joey, "Howie." She would yell at us kids for lying in the grass, warning us that we would get polio. Basically, she was the awesomest old lady ever.

Eventually, she had to be moved to a retirement home, because she could no longer take care of herself, and she had no family to move in with (she never married or had children). I never saw her again, she passed a few years later. I just hope that while we were in her life we made her days a little brighter.

Splurging

2007-05-08T13:18:00.000-05:00

I have recently decided to splurge on some presents for myself at Amazon. Now I am super pumped about their arrival, which should be in the next week. Lets take a look at my purchases:

Flight: A Novel by Sherman Alexie

It's about a time traveling murderer. It sounds very Alexie-esque. If you have never read an Alexie novel before, I recommend reading Indian Killer first, then Reservation Blues and he also has great collections of short stories such as 10 Little Indians and Lone Ranger and Tonto Fist Fight in Heaven. I'm not a reader, so you just have to imagine HOW excited I am to read it.

Wet Hot American Summer

I love Stella and Michael Showalter (lately it seems like 'sense of humor' is climbing up my list of 'Reasons why I would do you'). This is one of my favoritest movies, and yet I had not owned it before I purchased it. I am cheap and lazy. I like goofy/silly humor that is a little absurd. How can you go wrong with a line like, "You taste like burger, I don't like you anymore."

Bring it Back by Mates of State

Finally buying it more than a year after it has been released. I was hesitant in the purchase, because it always seem to me that my favorite bands/artists always seem to crash and burn with every subsequent release. However, from what I have heard, this album is on par with the other albums (which means if you are a MoS hater, you will still hate them). Since I love all MoS releases, I am sure I will like this one. Plus, I like the two videos they have out for the albums.

Slightly off topic: While looking through Amazon, I wanted to see how much they were asking for Sandlot (you play ball like a girl!). Its 10 dollars by the way, but that's not my point. My point is that there seems to be two sequels to it. Both, obviously had to be direct to video. I think it is damn close to blasphemy. Don't ruin a masterpiece!

I don't know what made me love the Sandlot so. Was it the plot? Was it the dialogue? Was it Benny "the Jet" Rodriguez? Yes to all of them, but mostly the last one. I (and my sister) totally hearted Mike Vitar. I will illustrate with an already made graphic.

Creepy? Yes.

Back on topic: Still excited about the arrival.

OMG Guys!

2007-05-04T16:25:00.000-05:00

Remember how I was talking about the Monster Squad, and I almost forgot how awesome it was. Guess what. It is totally coming out on DVD. Awesomeness.

Moon Pie

2007-05-02T20:29:00.000-05:00

My brother's favorite book as a child was Just Only John. It was a story about a little boy who turned into whatever the people around called him. His mother called him "Little Lamb," and his father called him "Little Man," and he turned into those things. Of course by the end he became himself, of rather "Just Only John." It's a good story about not being ashamed about being yourself.

This made me think of what my dad calls my cousin. He calls her Moon Pie. I never got the reference. I have never seen them sold anywhere in Wisconsin. Apparently the are round pastry treats. Dad called Emily, Moon Pie, because her face is very round...and edible. This is what Emily would look like if she were in a book called Just Only Emily.

We all have standards

2007-05-02T11:10:00.000-05:00

While looking through Found Magazine I found this little gem. It looks to me, like it is a list of "marriageable qualities" that some girl made. I like how her list becomes more superficial as it goes on. At least she seems to start off with "good/moral" qualities. It seems like the good girl version of "Mary Van Note's Rules on Dating Mary Van Note by Mary Van Note." Note: If you decided to Google her be warned that her stuff is not safe for work and not safe for anyone that is shy about sex humor. I think she is funny.

You know...I have standards too. I never actually wrote them down on paper (or on the Internet) but I keep a running list in my head, and yes, it is mostly superficial. Here it is, not listed in order of importance.

1. I will not date anyone that wears white shoes or white hats. People that do this are douche bags. This statement is a little extreme. 60% of white shoes/hat wearers are douches and that douchiest are the ones that are really concerned with the brightness of the whiteness.

2. No hunters. (No, I do not belong to PETA). I live in Wisconsin, so this is hard to find.

3. No Nascar fans. Especially the ones that wear these jackets. Ew.

4. No Toby Keith/Kenny Chesney fans. Well the music thing can keep on going. No Nickeback, Seether, Daughtery and anything like this. I also hate music snobs.

5. Do not come at me with flowers and/or candy and even a song/poem written for me. This is corny. Corniness makes me uncomfortable and not in a blushing/giddy way. More like a "get me out of here" type of way.

6. Must be funny. All the time.

7. Don't be prettier than me. Oh, you can be better looking than me, that's no problem, just don't be prettier. What does this mean? If it takes longer to get ready than me, if your wardrobe costs more than mine, if there is product in your hair, if you smell better than me (high possibility) you might be prettier than me.

8. I don't really have a problem with facial hair. It can be funny, it can be hot. But you know what is not hot and not funny? Soul patches.

9. Sensitive guys need not apply. I will make you cry...a lot. And when you cry, I will point and laugh.

10. Must be tolerable to my religious views (or lack there of), moments of airheadedness, and my constant jokes that I will be making about you.

11. Must hate Styrofoam as much as I do.

That is all I can think of right at this moment. I swear that I am not picky.

Negative Kudos: Michael Vick

2007-04-27T11:22:00.000-05:00

Let's take a look at the controversies thus far:

-Ron Mexico, as an alias while visiting clinics to treat STDs of which sex partners do not know about.
-Flipping off fans while leaving a game.
-Water bottle compartment with questionable substance.

All of these are understandable and/or explainable (I like his explanations to some of these stories, they are hilarious) but this next one just irks me.

-Vick's property is found to house abused dogs.

Even if he doesn't live there he should have known what was going on at a place that he owns. I mean...60 dogs? That's pretty hard not to know about.

Brodie, from Daily Puppy, is not pleased. He hates athletes like I do.

Everyday I become more and more like my...

2007-04-24T18:51:00.000-05:00

People usually end that sentence with saying they become their mom or their dad and normally I would. I do find traits in myself that mirror my mom and my dad. For example, I am like my dad in that I trust other people. WellOK, not so much trust, but more I am willing to help out other people without any expectations of getting paid back (an example of this is whenever our car broke down, my dad never asked or expected a ride from his coworkers but whenever anyone else needed a ride, even to the next city/town/village over, my dad would be the first to volunteer). Of course, the downside to this, is you obviously people can walk all over you. I am like my mom, in that I am a realist and levelheaded. My mom, being the oldest of her siblings, had to play the diplomat in many situations. She taught me to not judge a book by its cover and not draw such quick conclusions on subjects.

Yes, I am like my parents and as I age, I continue to grow more and more like them. However, in reality I think more of my personality actually comes from my Uncle Peter. To this day I still have this weird fear of him. Not like he is going to hit me or anything bad like that, but more of a fear of what he may say to me. No, not even my aunt, who used to stand over my crib and say in a deep voice, "WHAT'S MY AME!," (she was 14 and I was an annoying colicky baby, but still) makes me nervous.

Here are example of situations that cause me to fear him:

-When I was about 5, I along with my brother and sister, asked him to take a picture of us. He said he would, but only if we picked our nose. We did.
-When I would ask for a ride to my middle school mixers (you know the ones where they played jock jams and you would stand around awkwardly during the slow songs---oh wait that was just me)he said he would if I would pay him back...with interest (his nickname was The Operator).
-He gave me a nickname which was originated from a mean nanny character, or was it a mean witch? Well, I know it was a mean old lady.

Basically, its the snarky attitude that make me nervous. However, I find that I am very much like him as an adult. Things I do that remind me of what my uncle would do:

-I use the same type of sarcasm with people of all ages, even children. Its fun to see how long you can tell a kid something that is obviously not true, and see how long they believe you.
-I joke around with my cousins about only showing up at family functions for food.
Whenever I give rides to my brothers or cousins and they go in the backseat and no one sits in the passenger seat, I look back at them and say, "What do I look like, a taxi-cab?"
-My uncle married in his early thirties (which for my family is really really old) and everyone assumed he was going to be a bachelor all his life (he is married with three kids now). I'm on the road to this, except I have the pleasure of being a girl, so its called being an old maid. Oh Joy!
-In general, people being afraid to ask me to do favors for them, in fear of my snarky reactions (which are sarcastic but I do the favors anyway because like I said, I am my father).
-I'm already planning out some mean nicknames to give to my future nieces and nephews. OK I am kind of kidding about that last one.

In all seriousness, I hope to keep my uncles coolness (because he was cool) but I hope I don't instill fear in my sibling's offspring. Or at least those kids better not fear me.***shakes fist***

Here is a picture taken around the time Uncle Peter came back from basic training. I am with my sister, brother and cousin on his lap.

Look at how happy we were to see him. We were so naive.

The wisdom of children

2007-04-23T10:01:00.000-05:00

While reading Post Secret today, I came across this quote:

"Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Kids amaze me. Not so much for their knowledge, but for their questions. These questions are the ones that adults never really think about or questions that they don't ponder and just accept some answer that they were fed to them as children. In reality, children are probably they best socratic philosophers (with their endless "why"s). I think a brilliant example is from my childhood, the genius is my sister.

We were getting tucked into bed by my father when my sister asked him, how he knows that God exists. No one can really quite remember what my dad's answer was, but we think he probably gave some speech about not having physical evidence that God exists, but one must have faith in something that they cannot see, or you can see God exists in miracles, blah blah. After he was done, he said his good nights and my sister turned to me and said, "That means he doesn't know."

The next time a kid asks you a question, really think about the appropriate answer to give them, because they listen and remember everything you say.

Certain songs make me happy

2007-04-19T10:48:00.001-05:00

So, I am feeling better today, compared to yesterday. It is bright, shiny and warmish outside. Also, on my way to work, I heard Walking on Sunshine on the radio. It just put me in a good mood.

On a email listserve that a group of us in Public Allies made, we would come up with 'Top 5' lists we would email back and forth to each other, to pass time if we were bored. One list was a 'Top 5 Happy Songs.' One of the members named Walking on Sunshine on his list (which was actually over 5, because he was having a good day).

It is true, that song does make me happy as well. As I was listening to it, I thought to myself, "How exactly does one walk on sunshine?" Immediately I thought of the Peanuts characters dancing in that Christmas special. Specifically, I thought of the guy with the green shirt, that does a kind of zombie-walk-in-place dance. That is how one walks on sunshine.

I love the Charlie Brown/Peanuts dance. Even though, I am not a dancer, I still try to incorporate these moves when I do bust a groove. It just seems joyful. (Just a quick note here, I googled the term 'Charlie Brown Dance' to find this video and thought the combination and editing of the video and song was brilliant even if I am not a fan of Outkast or this song in particular. Also, in my google search, I found the Urban Dictionary defintion of 'Charlie Brown' which states in so many words that it is 'the part of the cha-cha slide when everyone stands around awkwardly'..heh).

In case you were wondering, here is a list of other songs (top 5 off the top of my head) that make me happy:

Love Shack - The B-52s
Shake it Up - The Cars
Groove is in the Heart - Deelite
Goods (in your head) - Mates of State
Shake Your Pants - The Meligrove Band

Today feels like suck 'aka' Emo is the new goth

2007-04-18T08:40:00.000-05:00

I hate rainy, dreary weather. I especially hate it when I am already in a bad mood. I blame the 24 hour coverage of the VA Tech massacre, and my willing viewing of said coverage. Whenever something this sad happens on a national or world scale, I always seem to be drawn in to the stories of the victims and the perpetrator (I go and read the Crime Library website for fun). The human psyche fascinates me. I think I missed my calling as a criminologist. However, if I did decide to go into the field of studying crime, I would probably be in a constant mood that I am experiencing now, the mood of 'blah.' The fact that there are people out there that do things like this makes me depressed. What makes me even more depressed, is that the situation even occurring doesn't shock me.

Perhaps my mood also has to do with now not having anything to occupy my spare time. Before I was constantly worry and/or planning my sister's baby shower, which just occurred this past weekend, sans any great disaster (woohoo). This may sound weird, but I am one of those people that needs something to worry about, in order to function properly. I am like my cousin's baby, who constantly walks around looking busy, busy, busy but really has nowhere important to go or see. When I don't have anything to do, I realize my life is boring. However, in light of recent events, boring feels fine.

I once read somewhere that Sagittarians (my sign) are energetic and optimistic people. However they get bored easily, and when they do get bored they also get pessimistic and moody. At the time I was reading that I didn't believe it (mostly because I never see myself as energetic or optimistic), but I kind of do now.

Yes, today is a day that I sadly stare out of my rain-streamed window with my chin in hands. Ho-hum. Hopefully my America's Next Top Model date with my friends will make me feel better.

Jordy Lemoine - Alison

2007-04-13T16:07:00.001-05:00

Same creepiness. This is going to be the soundtrack to my nightmare tonight.

Jordy Its So Tough to be A Baby

2007-04-13T16:04:00.001-05:00

This is creepy, weird and kind of cute.

RIP Kurt Vonnegut

2007-04-12T08:39:00.000-05:00

I remember being in around the ninth grade and asking my parents what their favorite books were. My mother told me To Kill a Mockingbird and my father said Slaughterhouse-five. I was looking to try and expand my mind, and actually read books for my own pleasure, and not because teachers made me (at that time the last time I read a book on my own, the authors included Ann Martin, Beverly Cleary, RL Stein or any American Girl author). So, I decided to tackle my dad's favorite book first.

This was my first Kurt Vonnegut novel, and probably the best way to get introduced. Reading Slaughterhouse-five for the first time can be described in three sequential thought processes:

1. WTF!?!
2. Indifference - long intake process
3. Awe.

Such an important literary figure will be missed.

Negative Kudos the not-Thursday Version: Don Imus

2007-04-10T12:46:00.000-05:00

I know it is late, but never too late to comment on this: "Nappy headed hoes," Really? This comment is suppose to be taken as an joke? Hmm. Don't see the funny. Maybe he and I have a different sense of humor. Perhaps he would think it would be hilarious if I called him a cracker-ass shitslice?

Maybe I've been to one-too-many sensitivity trainings but I don't find any racial humor (especially when it resorts to name calling) funny.

Come on Imus! The least you can do is make fun of the team for being from the Armpit of America.

Reasons why I will be an awesome aunt

2007-04-04T13:04:00.000-05:00

A) I like to give children candy and I'm not talking about the creepy man in a van way. I'm talking about getting the kid nice and riled up so the parents have to deal with it later in the night. Yes, I'm evil. Here is photographic evidence. That is my cousin's baby Alana at my sister's Superbowl party. I was feeding her Nerds and Pixies Sticks. That is my hand with the Nerds and that is her face in sugar-high glee:
I like her dress in the picture. I wish they made it in big girl sizes so I could look just as cute.

B) I'm one of the kids. At family functions, you can usually find me playing some type of game with my little cousins or joining them on the playground equipment. We have discussions about That's So Raven and Hannah Montana. One time I was trying to explain to my 7-year-old cousin that I was an adult and her response was, "Nuh-uh."

C) I tend to talk to kids like adults. I speak in complete sentences. I ask them about their day/school/family like I really care (and guess what...I do). Maybe this is why kids like me. I don't treat them like pets or little babies with the "baby" talk. All kids like to feel like they are bigger than they really are.

D) Recently my sister told me that while her and her husband were discussing possible guardians if *knock on wood* anything were to happen to them and they told me that I was one of them. She explained that she would want someone that would be open minded like me. I like to think it has to do with my general approach to life, where I don't take things too seriously but at the same time I am very realistic, stable and responsible.

E) Lets just be honest here. I will not, or rather never, be the aunt with the money/material things. Any future offspring of my siblings should not be expecting extravagant presents from me. What they should be expecting is a sarcastic sense of humor, frank discussions on taboo topics like politics/sex/religion/money etc., moments of embarrassment from anything I may say or do, unwelcome opinions on the way that they live their lives, and insults/fists to be thrown at anyone that crosses them. Most importantly, I will be the aunt that the kids want to live with when they are ready to runaway from home and my rickety futon will be waiting for them.

This isn't a reason, but I thought I would share a photo of my cousin's second baby, Isabella:

Who Knew? Alanis Morissette is funny

2007-04-04T09:29:00.001-05:00

Here she is doing a cover of Black Eyed Peas's "My Humps." If there is anything I love more in the world, it is radically different covers of ridiculous pop songs.

This is how much I love my family

2007-04-02T08:51:00.000-05:00

My teenage cousin just had her second child this weekend. Another girl that was named Isabella Marie. She decided to come into the world hip first, so the doctors insisted that my cousin get a c-section. By the time I got to the hospital, all my family was already there and my cousin was out of surgery, nice and doped up.

The asshole of a "baby daddy" was there. It took all the courage in the world for me not to even mouth the words "I will kill you" to him. Maybe it was the fact that his mother was there that made me be civil to him. He is also more than a head shorter than me, so the fight would not be fair. When I jokingly told my cousin that the next time I saw her I was giving her Sex Ed 101, the dipshit laughed and I stared daggers at him.

My sister was present during the labor and was even recording the happenings before it was discovered that Isabella was coming out breech. The video, was sadly hilarious. The doctors were telling my cousin to not push, and she was telling them to shut up, she was going to push anyway. The phrase, "Where is the doctor, that little bastard," could be heard (even though my cousin insists that she said, 'can he come a little faster'). Also, as she was starting to push the doctor said, "Oh wait...it looks like..."
My cousin: "It looks like what?"
Doctor: "She's coming out breech."
Cousin: "What's breech?"
Doctor: "Butt first"
Cousin: "Does that mean I need a c-section?"
Doctor: "Yes."
Cousin: *starts crying in disappointment* "Oh no....Get it out now!"
It was funny how quickly her mood changed.
Later, the doctors were showing the baby in the nursery. My mom was looking through the glass holding my cousin's other baby saying, "Oh she's so cute! She's going to be prettier than you." This is my family's sense of humor...and it was recorded. Any child born into our family needs to learn how to read sarcasm and/or get our twisted sense of humor or at least take it with a grain of salt.

The second night she was in the hospital, the baby's fuckhead father decided that he needed to rest and refused to stay in the hospital with my cousin (even though he ended up partying that night--I wonder why I hate him). My aunt had to go home to take care of her other baby and my uncle had to sleep in order to go to work the next day. I was the only one that could stay the night with her ( in reality she didn't need anyone because the nurses could take the baby in the nursery and bring her back when it was time for her to feed). My cousin just didn't want to stay by herself and she was scared of the baby being in the nursery while she slept. I'm glad I as there because when it was time for my cousin to breastfeed, she would always fall asleep with the baby in her arms. So I would burp, change and swaddle the baby (and put my cousin's boob back away) when necessary. I couldn't get any sleep (I know..I should try going through labor myself and then complain). Anytime I was dozing off, the baby would make a small noise and I would jump up and see what was wrong.

See, I told you I love my family.

Also during the weekend I met a few of my also-knocked-up-friends-of-my-cousin and felt close to tears looking at them. They just think motherhood is SOOOOO cool. I feel bad for them, but most importantly I feel bad for their children. What was weird though is one of my cousin's friends (one that was not pregnant)had a ton of questions for me, about my job. My cousin's friends never have questions for me. I am a non-Sheboyganite, childless college grad with a job therefore I am boring. Kids these days!

The things I do when I am semi-awake (or should I say semi-sleeping)

2007-03-30T08:43:00.000-05:00

Second post in a row where the topic is sleep-related. Lately I have been obsessed with dreams and sleep. Probably because I don't think I have been getting enough of it lately. I've also been made aware of things I do in my sleep, or in a semi-sleep state.

I remember once during the summer after high school. I worked at Kohl's Department Store and had to work the "early bird special" day. I had to get up at 4am to be at work by 5am. That night I couldn't get to sleep and didn't fall asleep until probably 2 (it was most likely later). When the alarm clock went off, I turned it off and jumped out of bed. I sort of forgot that I was in the upper part of a bunk bed and went crashing straight into the ground. My sister, who was asleep in the lower bunk told me that I got up like nothing was wrong, and went walking out of the room. She asked me if I was OK as I was heading toward the bathroom. She said I mumbled something incoherent and walked off. When she told me about it later I told her (and meant it) that I didn't remember.

Later in college something similar happened. I was getting out of my lofted bed, to help a friend search for another friend that had just earlier sleptwalked (is that a word?) out of my room. I once again forgot about being higher off the ground that I remembered and went crashing down into the ground, this time a bucket of cleaning supplies broke my fall. My friend said I once again got up like nothing was wrong and walked out of my dorm room. We found our friend brought her back. I woke up the next morning and found my elbow had ballooned to twice its size and that there was a big hole punctured in my bucket of cleaning supplies. My friend told me what happened that next day.

Then there was last night. I woke up thinking I had a dream about my mom calling me and letting me know that my teenage cousin was in labor and setting up plans to go home and spend time with the family. Taking a shower this morning, I was trying to remember if that was a real experience, or just a dream. I checked my phone, and realized that it actually happened. I am capable of entire conversations while in a semi-awake state.

Maybe its genetic. Recently, while on the phone with my sister, I found out that my dad sleep eats. Something that none of his kids knew about, until one late night my brother and his friends were playing poker and my dad got out of his bedroom, went to the fridge and starting eating left overs. Apparently my brother tried to talk to him, but he was not responding. Creepy.

So basically what I really want to say if that my cousin is ruining my weekend by having her baby during a time when I had plans on hanging out with friends (or in this case see my friend's band who I haven't seen in a long time). She's lucky I love her and her offspring.

Sharon

2007-03-29T08:39:00.000-05:00

It has been about 3 years and 5 months since my grandmother passed away, and I still find that I think about her daily. Sometimes I still have to catch myself when I think about her being alive, and when I will see her next, what I will tell her about my life that is new and ask her about her latest ailment (because she had oh-so-many)that is bothering her. Lately I have been doing pretty good in not "forgetting" that she is no longer alive. Then last night I dreamt about her. Here is how the dream went.

I was walking towards her house, on one of my usual visits. On my way there I ran into a box of abandoned kittens. They all looked malformed and undernourished. They weren't the cutest things I have ever seen, but I felt a bond with them. I brought the box into my grandmothers house and told my grandma about them. Here's the thing, when I looked at my grandma, she didn't have a face and she didn't speak to me, but I saw her outline, which is so distinct to me. Maybe this is my fear of forgetting what she looks like. Almost as if I need a picture to recall her face, as I can't automatically do it one my own.

Anyway the dream continued with me being in a complete different room from her, watching the kittens. I was talking to her through the walls, but she wouldn't respond to anything to I said. I looked down at a white blanket that was laying on the couch and realized that there were a bunch of fleas laying on it that were brought in by the kittens. For some reason I thought that this was something I shouldn't tell my grandmother about. Like I was ashamed of what I brought into her house and I didn't want her to be angry at me.

It was at this point that I startled myself awake. The actual panic, fear of what my grandmother would think of me, woke me up. My first initial thought was, "Oh, I need to tell grandma about this one. I wonder what she will say about it." My second thought was, "Oh yeah."

I miss her.

Otters holding hands

2007-03-28T08:20:00.001-05:00

This is possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen, but it gets so much cuter when there is about 20 seconds left.